The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition

Treeness

Belonging solely to Lossëndil, treeness is the inner quality that makes one have roots, bark, piney branches, and evil squirrels that sit on the piney branches. Because only Lossy has Treeness, she, as Tree, is considered an endangered species on the forums. Numerous members would like to start a fund to preserve her species, but the Lossy-tree (under which name her species was first recognized by MissFreckles) rejects all such helpful intentions. As she lives beside de Nile when not on top of Cliff, the Lossy-tree struggles to come to terms with her essence. Psychiatrists believe that the source of the problem is a poor self-concept, but Duffers, not being susceptible to modern psychoanalysis, recognize that the problem stems from lack of water, and possibly a subconscious dislike of cheese. The appropriate response when treeness is denied by the Lossy-tree is "Triad," which shows this deNile for what it is--an affliction contracted by too much time spent with Derny.

The Records of Treeness

"Treeness and Cookies: A Genesis"
Once the Lossy-tree was human. This ended where all good things end--with cookies.

The Christening of the Tree

The Confession of Treeness

"Marke Ye the Tree," and other excerpts from the Bouk of Olde Tyme

"The Much-Sought Tree"
A wonderful piece by Olórin the Wise.

"There Once Was a Tree"
Sopespian's poem in her honor, according to the appropriate metre.

"Trees: A Poem"

"Piniest of Trees"
A poem to honor the Tree's graduation, as well as to wreak vengeance for her duplicitous behavior in Mafia 32.
 
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Ah, but falsified history ought not be kept. ;)

EDIT: I assure you they did not. No one hacks my computer.

(If you say another word, I shall sic my Japanese mafia on you. Be warned.)
 
The Tomato Cannon

The weapon-of-choice for Caspian the kitten. Typically only used by kittens. At some point the original Tomato Cannon was cloned. This has been discovered by those who have tried to destroy the cannon *cough*Glen&Doc.Byrne*cough*. Where the orignal Cannon is now is unknown to everyone except Caspian. After extensive research (browsing about 50 pages of the TDL Party that Never Ends thread) the origin of the Tomato Cannon was found:

Origin of the legendary Tomato Cannon
Example of the original use of the Tomato Cannon
Example 2

Apparently this weapon was first used in defense of the kittens in the Party thread who believed that the other people were posting too fast. The creation of the cannon quickly instigated a fight, then an argument, then tension, then peace, then the entire thing disolved into silliness again.... Or maybe the peace part was skipped and it went strait to silliness.... Something like that. Currently the cannon is used against enemies of the kittens, meaning anyone brave enough (or foolish enough) to enter into the Asylum or Party threads and challenge them. The tomato cannon has also been used to shoot other food objects such as pies, candy, rotten vegtables and spoons and sporks and bowling balls depending on the thread it it used in.

Example of alternate Tomato Cannon ammo

The current owner of the Tomato Cannon(s) is Caspian the cat. This ownership will probably never change. It is a weapon of mass destruction and it is recommended that one use caution when around it and its easily-annoyed owner.
You have been warned.
 
Miss Freckles said:
Snickers

The path to happiness.

~Miss Freckles

Or does that sound too cheesy?

Snickers

The ingredient of happiness.

~Miss Freckles

But no... we're not writing a recipe book here.

Snickers
Eggs
Cheese
Pizza 3x
Glue Stick
Birthday present for Smeagol?!

And not a shopping list, either.

Snickers

I WANT THEM!!!

Oops. This is not my diary, either. What else do I frequently contribute to? Let's think...

Snickers is tired. Shouldn't have cracked all those peanuts withNut Cracker last night.

And where's the stupid like button...? Oh, this is not facebook. Right.

Snickers

Candy bar featuring peanuts, chocolate and an undefinable other something. Can lead to massive confusion when consumed too enthusiastically (as demonstrated by this entry). Is frequently placed with Twix and Mars bars, but is fundamentally different. All those allergic to nuts will agree.

~Miss Freckles
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I would like to add to this entry:

Snickers, additional definition

An action occasionally performed when one is extremely pleased with a mischief one has performed. Ex: *Cliff Splats Lossy-Tree**Snickers* This action is akin to *Evil Laughter*

Addition Submitted by ~Lava~
 
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Dinosaur

A rare condition that older members are afflicted with. ~Lava~ especially has been accused of the disease (see source 1). Symptoms include being able to remember when...LifeMaiden was still an active member and Mod; the days of the Black Spot; the Golden Age of Duffering in General; the restructuring of the forum. They also include an uncommon urge to bump old threads and a desire to drag other old members back out of retirement (kicking and screaming if we must).

Source 1
 
*Ahem.* Oh, the irony, that I am the next poster. I somewhat object to these rather stringent criteria. I appear to have morphed into a reptile. How did this happen?

But that is in no way the point. More to the point (which IS the point): I have briefly scanned this thread backwards and I see...I see new Duffer Objects! Good gracious! I am not even sure if it is possible to make a comeback under these circumstances, or if one will simply be trampled ignominiously under the relentless feet of the "fads these days" as not "knowing what's what" or some such thing! :eek:
 
~Lava~ said:
Dinosaur

A rare condition that older members are afflicted with. ~Lava~ especially has been accused of the disease (see source 1). Symptoms include being able to remember when...LifeMaiden was still an active member and Mod; the days of the Black Spot; the Golden Age of Duffering in General; the restructuring of the forum. They also include an uncommon urge to bump old threads and a desire to drag other old members back out of retirement (kicking and screaming if we must).

Source 1
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Dang, you and I are like T-Rex's aren't we? I mean, I watched over Machia's shoulder even before I joined so I've been around for AGES and ages upon ages.
 
Lady of Lorien said:
More to the point (which IS the point): I have briefly scanned this thread backwards and I see...I see new Duffer Objects! Good gracious! I am not even sure if it is possible to make a comeback under these circumstances, or if one will simply be trampled ignominiously under the relentless feet of the "fads these days" as not "knowing what's what" or some such thing! :eek:
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Well, cliffs, and butterflies, and the Can, etc., are still as alive as they ever were. Turnips and the butter knife don't show up as much, but most of the old Duffer objects are still around. The Beard has been making a bit of a comeback, too. It's developed purple spots. :D

The only really important new Duffer thing is that Lossy has matured into a tree--the Tree. Something to do with eating cookies.
 
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That is as much a lie as Derny being a non-duffer. :mad:

Don't believe a word she says concerning my so-called treeness, LoL. She's a poor misguided child.
 
Hm. I this panel will take both of your submissions into consideration in forming a judicious opinion.

Butter knives are no more? Dear me. Glad to hear the Can and co. are still around. Does he still have an order of followers?
 
Yes, although the Tree, Lava, and I are the only members who are still active. There was an unfortunate Duffer shortage for a while, although I'm hopeful that there are some developing Duffers who may eventually join.
 
Glenburne said:
Yes, although the Tree, Lava, and I are the only members who are still active. There was an unfortunate Duffer shortage for a while, although I'm hopeful that there are some developing Duffers who may eventually join.
Click to expand...

I'm the rebel Duffer who never joined the order...
 
Lady of Lorien said:
I probably shouldn't mention this, but the Original Duffer Rebel is Derny...is it not so? :p

In a different way.
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Completely different way. She denied being a duffer and didn't want to be one. I wanted to be one but was never sure if I was one so I just decided to rebel and not try to comply with any rules.
 
Of course.

Except that she secretly wanted to be one.

As we all know.

(Incidentally she's going to kill me if she ever shows up again. Well...try. Not that she has ever succeeded before.)
 
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