The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition

That's what they all say. Derny's not a duffer, Lossy's not a tree (though the court is still in session on whether that one's a viable analog), and people whose heads function as jack-o-lanterns aren't pumpkin heads.

Mmm-hmm. *cue knowing-nod-track* (it's sort of a variation on a laugh track. I keep several variants.) And don't try to tell me knowing nods have no sound.

(I think nothing in the world could make my students truly interested, though possibly it could keep them from climbing the walls. I've had so-so success with that recently. I try to make wall-patching and scrubbing-ceiling-footprints part of my post-class cleanup. Got to keep a low profile. It's pretty tough when another teacher comes in right after me, though, I have to say.)
 
I just realized you edited your sig! I'm so used to seeing that line of green... this is slightly disorienting.

(If she is indeed a pumpkin head, can we use her for pumpkin pie? I haven't had decent pumpkin pie in ages!)
 
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Haha, I know, it felt weird... But upon reflection, it also seemed strange to keep that in. I want to put something else in, but I'm giving it judicious thought.

If we use her for pumpkin pie, then she will no longer be Jackie O. the Lantern. Without her head to light our front porch, I fear we may be overtaken by stealth trick-or-treaters sneaking up in July, which is the month of my birthday, so I feel that I will be especially susceptible to the loss of stolen candy, and as anyone who knows me in real life will tell you, even my normal feelings on the subject of candy would require you to clear an area around me if it got stolen, and then I would be alone. I don't want to be alone. Then I have to think about It. WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!!! :eek::mad::eek:
 
I hope by "It" you aren't insulting the Can again.... And by the way, if you turn my head into pumpkin pie, I want the first slice.
 
I only have one mouth, one nose, one bed, one chin, one closet, one brain (GG ate it), one monkey that sheds stuffing, one spoon (needs washing), one class of evil high schoolers, but I'm more evil, one life (but I lost it), one mug, one constitutional history textbook, one printer that won't print, and one job (the Lonely Banana's technology coordinator). You can use any of the above, LoL, but you can't use them more than once. Sorry.
 
Thank you, you are Most Generous. But that leaves unanswered my original mystification, about how you planned to eat your own head without...well...your head. Do you keep your One Mouth elsewhere?
 
I don't need my mouth to eat. How do you think I ate all those times when my mother made me take my head off before dinner? "Gentlemen take their hats off at the table. Ladies take their heads off." You wouldn't understand the process, however, since you don't have a removable head. :p
 
Glenburne said:
She's GG. The GG. And she ate my brain.... *cries*

But I've kept my mind hidden safely away. Which proves that mind and matter are two different things, because I can still think, even without my brain. At least I think I can....
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I desperately wanted to give you a reputation for this post but alas, I've given you one too recently...

Glenburne said:
Like Twilight? :p
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Haha, that's exactly what I was going to mention. XD

Lady of Lorien said:
You ATE TWILIGHT?

How are you still...alive? *suspicious*

Or more importantly, how are you still you?
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I'm alive because I'm the GG.

I'll tell you how. "There isn't a me. There used to be a me, I had it surgically removed."
 
That must have been back in the days when they hadn't discovered the purpose of that organ yet, and thought it was unnecessary. Oh GG, I'm so sorry. Of course you must know what the current theory is... That's too terrible. :p
 
Lady of Lorien said:
That must have been back in the days when they hadn't discovered the purpose of that organ yet, and thought it was unnecessary. Oh GG, I'm so sorry. Of course you must know what the current theory is... That's too terrible. :p
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It's all right, I'm still the GG. :p
 
DLF, The.

An abbreviation for "Dear Little Friend," "Dangerous Little Fiend," "Dreadful Little Fiend," and/or "Dashingly_Linguistic_Fellow." His origins are shrouded in the mists of antiquity, but it is generally believed that he was originally a mod named Morgothluver who had a life-changing encounter with a sheep. This encounter drove him to philology, which drove him to repeatedly change his username, which irritated the other mods. They wreaked havoc upon his psyche, as mods are wont to do, and stuffed him behind the fridge in the mod lounge to hide their work. Since then, the DLF has brought terror and destruction (along with an enormous appetite) to Dufferland.

Miss Freckles said:
you mean the dlf could get into the forum??? :eek: what if he is here now, editing our posts, banning mods, striking terror in the hearts of innocent members... i think i have to sit down. if i wasn't doing that already.
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*IOWW the Iasc* said:
The DLF held me prisoner for many months before I finally escaped today. So much dust and debris...he doesn't exactly have a spacious cave behind that fridge...
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Into the Wardrobe said:
He ate HB's sock...never been the same since. That is one scary creature behind the fridge.
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onlymystery said:
He did [eat the dried mango]. Dipped them in chocolate first though. They were good until he caught me eating them....my hand grew back eventually.
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The DLF, however, has his uses.

For entertainment....

PrinceOfTheWest said:
We're talking about what the forum moderators do if and when they get bored. For instance, if I think things are getting too bored, I go to the Mod Lounge, pull the fridge away from the wall a bit more than usual, and leave the kitchen door ajar. Then the DLF slips out, and things cease begin boring.
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As an instrument of comparison...

Olórin the Wise said:
I think they keep him because they can't get rid of him. Also, they like to compare him to TG before he's had his coffee.
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As a way to confuse Miss Freckles...

Miss Freckles said:
okay, it's time to reveal that i have a crush on somebody on this forum... but even though he is so close, he is so far away................... right behind the mod fridge *sighs*

DLF i LOVE YOU!

so. now it's out. *sniff*
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As a garbage disposal...

Olórin the Wise said:
Dangerous Little Fiend. A mysterious beast that lives behind the fridge in the mod lounge and is fed leftovers that are judged to be too old for human consumption.
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And as a punishment for Dernhelm.

Olórin the Wise said:
Why not set the DLF on her if she doesn't clean up?
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It has been theorized that the DLF and GG are one and the same. The main piece of evidence for this view seems to be that the DLF, like GG, has an enormous appetite. Additionally, GG is now a mod, so she would only need to change her username to Morgothluver, be psychologically damaged by the other mods, and travel back in time to complete the transition. Some have suggested, unkindly, that GG's appetite is responsible.

WarriorSatyr said:
Oh, my Can! GG is working with the DLR! It's exactly as I predicted. Now that she has swallowed the Faction Paradox, she will travel back in time and sign up for TDL as MorgothLuver. From there, her rapacious hunger will evolve into a horrific thing. She will slowly lose the ability to speak and take up residence behind the refrigerator, thus becoming the DLF. QED.
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Obviously, GG should be more careful what she puts into her stomach (or Derny's Black Hole, if they are indeed synonymous). But, sadly, what's done is done. The DLF is the DLF, and shall presumably stay that way, unless he turns into something even more frightening. (Personally, I still think the primary culprit is the sheep.)

In sum: Mods are bad. Mods who turn bad are worse.
 
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I can't believe nobody wrote one before now. I always thought it was a pretty glaring omission....
 
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