Contest #19 - Job Interview With Aslan!!!!

Who would you hire?

  • Fernshirehobbit learning to love people in her service to Aslan, postcount=3

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • Copperfox documenting the pseudo-planetary mass of Narnia as a royal surveyor/historian, postcount=5

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Lucy Fan serving as Aslan's personal secretary, postcount=8

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Glenburne keeping watch over the Marshwiggles as Marsh Warden, postcount=15

    Votes: 2 33.3%

  • Total voters
    6
  • Poll closed .

Benisse

Perelandrian
Staff member
Royal Guard
Imagine yourself (as your TDL self) in a Job Interview With Aslan!!!!

Aslan announces that He is offering positions in the Narnian world (thus including places outside the actual Kingdom of Narnia). Forum members, AS THEMSELVES, apply for employment, and tell Aslan what duties they think they would be suited for. The entrants get to imagine also what Aslan would say to them.

Write a script of your interview between now and June 30, and we will vote on winners July 1-4, 2014.
 

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Benisse, this was surely one of the more difficult of TDL contest tasks to think through... Creative and thought provoking... but difficult! :p Alright, here is my attempt:
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Fernie wanders through life, eyes drawn up to the skies. "Oh, Aslan. I know you are out there somewhere. I feel so insignificant. I know in the past other sons and daughters have been important enough to join you service. I wish you would just use me, too; I wish I was somehow important like they were..."

She lowers her eyes to grasp the image of the Great Lion before her. He smiles and approaches her.

Aslan shakes his main and speaks in a roaring voice, "Fernie! There you are! I have been looking here and there for you. Please, come sit down at my feet." He motions to her to join him.

Looking a bit caught-off-guard, Fernie nervously complies, sitting in the grass beside him and twiddling her fingers through the blades anxiously.

Aslan speaks calmly, "Fernie, you are well aware that all of my subjects have a job to do. Narnia is a vast land with many inhabitants."

Fernie raises her head slightly, mearly whispering she replies, "Yes, Sir... I am aware."

Aslan continues in his strong, soft voice, "Fernie, do you love?"

Fernie responds without a slight bit of hesitation, "Of course I do. I have always tried my best to show you my love..."

Aslan, "You confess to love me, but do you love my people?"

Fernie thinks deeply before replying in a cautious tone," I love my family so much. I am so grateful for them. And my friends are amazing - Vanessa, and Kayla, and Smaug, and Lonny, an-"

In a gentle way, he cuts her short, "Yes, I know you love those you like, but do you love all of my citizens?"

With head drawn back down, Fernie mumbles softly, "I try to... but... some of them can get so clique-ish... and some just aren't all that interesting... We don't always get along..."

Aslan touches his nose to her forehead. "Fernie, if you love me, then love my people - not just the ones that you like. This is the task for all that say they love me."

Fernie sighs audibly. "Yes, Sir, I will try."
 
Copperfox walks into Aslan's office, carrying a stack of maps of many types.

ASLAN: What position are you seeking?

COPPERFOX: I want to be Your royal surveyor. Well, that and a historian.

ASLAN: And you brought those maps because--?

COPPERFOX: These are to prove to You that I have experience in finding my way around. I have even managed to drive a car in Saint Louis and Nashville, and didn't vanish forever!

ASLAN: Impressive. And how far would you expect your Narnian duties to extend?

COPPERFOX: All over the Narnian pseudo-planetary mass. To begin with, Mister Lewis never made it clear how long the nation of Telmar existed. I would research the early kings of Telmar, long before Miraz; I would try to determine if Telmar was ever under the control of Jadis; and I would investigate whether Telmar had a separate existence during the Golden Age of the Adult Pevensies.

ASLAN: I gather you've already figured out that I don't directly tell people anything that isn't in their own story, or you would just ask Me.

COPPERFOX: Yes, Lord. Also, I would explore westward, to see if there was another ocean in that direction.

ASLAN: Tell you what. I'll let you have a part-time position, in order to provide ideas for fan-fiction writers. But I urge you not to quit your day job.

COPPERFOX: Lord, I'm retired.

ASLAN: I know. It was just a figure of speech. My point is that, like other novelists, you have your own "universe" to develop. Don't neglect it.

COPPERFOX: As You command, Lord.
 
Thank you. After all, if the Narnian world really existed, there would have to be SOME term to refer to its physical total. It's something which both EveningStar and I have addressed in our fan fiction.
 
Lucy Fan walks casually onto Dancing Lawn and sees Aslan holding a Help Wanted sign. Curiousity overtakes Lucy Fan, so she walks towards Aslan and asks...

Lucy Fan: Aslan, I see you have a Help Wanted sign in your paw. What job positions are you hiring for.

Aslan:
Greetings Lucy Fan! I am happy you have arrived in Narnia once again. I assign job positions based on skills one has which are related to certain positions. You must tell me what skills you possess and I will tell you what job I have available pertaining to those skills.

Lucy Fan: Well Aslan, I can type extrememly fast on a computer...

Aslan: What is a computer?

Lucy Fan:
It is a human device, which humans use to do many things such as typing, searching the internet, socializing, etc.

Aslan: No, I am sorry we do not have need of such a device in Narnia. Please tell me what other skills you possess.

Lucy Fan: Well, I like to write and my grammar and sentence structure is usually great if not better. I am also really good with animals and consider them more like people than animals. I talk to my pets as if they are people, always have.

Aslan: I see. I think I have the perfect job position for you. I have an opening to be my personal secretary. Although, we do not have the computers you speak of, we do use parchment and a quill. You will be provided with everything you need. In your position, you would accompany me on my travels to countries in need. You will observe the events which occur while we are in the countries in need. You will record on the parchment what country we are in and the year and what has ocurred and how it was solved. Eventually, what you have recorded will be stored in the Narnia archives in the library so that anyone who visits can read about what you have written and in doing so will realize how Narnia has grown (or perhaps countries outside of Narnia).

Lucy Fan: Aslan, this sounds like the perfect job for me. I will happily accept this position. Thank you very much.

Aslan: You are welcome, dear one. However, in Narnia we do not have what you humans have which you call money to pay people for their work. My people pay each other for their work in a different way, such as giving someone something they need such as food, clothing, or perhaps maintenace on their home...or a home if one needs it.

Lucy Fan: Aslan, I think this will suit me just fine. However, if you'll have me as one of your people of Narnia, I would be eternally grateful.

Aslan: Yes, dear one of course...this was my intention for you. You cannot be my personal secretary in your own world, now can you?!

Lucy Fan: No, I guess you can't. Thank you so much Aslan.

Aslan then proceeds to give Lucy Fan a lions kiss which officially makes her a Narnian forever. After becoming Aslan's personal secretary, she went down in Narnian history for her great work. Her work was used for researches all over Narnia and its surrounding countries for future generations of Narnia.
 
Secretary to Aslan = awesome sauce! And I like the plug for bartering. That's a useful practice in _this_ world also.
 
Yes, I doubt very much whether there would be any currency, let alone a banking system! Even the Lone Islands, according to VoDT, which seem to have a mainly human population, didn't have any kind of Narnian coinage, but used the Calormene crescent as its currency.

Some excellent job interviews here! The judges are going to have their work cut out for them!
 
Oh my goodness! I Love Lucy Fan's script! I was about to cry at the end. She captured the essence of Aslan to the point, and made it just enough funny as well. That was good. The other two are just as good so it's going to be hard to choose a winner.
 
Oh my goodness! I Love Lucy Fan's script! I was about to cry at the end. She captured the essence of Aslan to the point, and made it just enough funny as well. That was good. The other two are just as good so it's going to be hard to choose a winner.

Thanks so much. :) I put a lot of thought and heart into it. I haven't won any of these contests before so I'm hoping to win this time.
 
Here's my entry.
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I shuffled up the steps to the castle, fumbling with a stack of papers. Resume—check. Applications—check. Old school papers—check. All crammed into an overstuffed yellow folder with inky scribbles across the sides. What’s hooman? said one line of scrawl. Humin? Hyoumen?

I had borrowed the folder from a Faun who either had a terrible sense of humor or simply could not spell. Never again, I vowed to myself, stepping up to the gate. My journey northward had quickly shown me that I could abide most Narnian creatures, with the exception of Fauns. But maybe it’s not all Fauns, I thought, waiting. Maybe it was just that particular Faun who—

The gate opened, revealing a Dwarf. Now, I’m not that tall, but Dwarves make me feel gigantic. I think they know it, too, because they all seem to glare whenever I look at them.

“Welcome,” said the Dwarf. He didn’t sound as though he meant it. “I am Dinabrik, gatekeeper at Cair. Have you an appointment?”

I stammered for a moment. “Aslan—employment—advertisement in The Lamp-post—”

He rolled his eyes heavenward. “Wait here.”

So I waited. At last the Dwarf reappeared and gestured for me to follow him. He led me across a courtyard and up several flights of stairs to very large door. He raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open before his fist could rap against it.

It was a lion, as big as the buffalo I saw at a fairground once—no, bigger. But I trust lions more than the solitary sorts of cats, and this one seemed especially trustworthy. It was something about the eyes. So I stepped forward. “Hello, sir.”

“Welcome,” he said. His voice was warm—as unlike Dinabrik’s as I could imagine. I swung around to see how Dinabrik was reacting, but the Dwarf was gone. Aslan and I were alone.

“I’m told you came in search of employment,” he said. “Step inside, please.” He nosed the door shut behind me and led me to a seat.

“I did, sir.” I handed him the folder.

“What’s this?” He raised one of his huge, velvety paws and paged through the folder. “Resume—”

I coughed. “Ah, yes. About that—”

He began paging through more quickly, and then he abruptly stopped. “Daughter of Eve, exactly how many applications did you fill out? Fifty?”

“Fifty-six,” I answered weakly.

“Lantern Waste sewage department, Cair Paravel facilities management, hedgehog transportation and safety—” He flipped several more pages. “Marsh warden? You really want to do all these things?”

“I need work.” He didn’t respond, so I rushed on. “I know I came into the country illegally—sort of—that is, I didn’t come in by wardrobe, I got in through a door that opened into Archenland. So I realize I’m not a first priority, and I’m grateful that you haven’t thrown me out yet—”

He began to laugh. “So you’re telling me that you have no interest in sewage.”

I grimaced. “None.”

“Or in cleaning drains at Cair Paravel.”

I shook my head.

“Or in hedgehogs?”

“Well,” I answered sheepishly, “hedgehogs are nice and all, but….”

“Or in Marshwiggles?”

I straightened up. “Actually, I do like Marshwiggles. They make me laugh.”

He glanced through the rest of the applications and set them aside. “I believe you’re the first Narnian to ever tell me that.”

“What? About Marshwiggles? I don’t see how anyone could miss it. They’re absolutely hilarious. And what makes it even better is that they don’t know it.” Then I stopped, realizing what he had said. “You called me a Narnian?”

“I did.” He smiled slowly. “Is that all right with you?”

I could only blink.

He continued, “That marsh warden position has been terribly hard to fill. Everyone else seems to think that Marshwiggles are too dour. I had gotten to the point where I even considered sending Dinabrik.”

We both laughed.

“All right, then,” he said. “Your job is to keep watch over the swamps of the Marshwiggles. Basically, I need you to run interference for them. Sometimes the—more lighthearted creatures go into the swamps hoping to stir up a Marshwiggle for sport. It’s gotten to be quite a problem. But with a warden watching over the area, the Marshwiggles should be able to live in peace.”

“I will do my best, sir,” I said. “That is, my worst.”

He raised one brow. “Your worst?”

“To trespassers, sir.” I grinned. “No more firecrackers going off in Marshwiggle huts. Not on my watch.”
 
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Yes, Marshwiggles deserve respect! And, Glenburne, you don't make a convincing illegal alien, because you actually ARE LOYAL TO the kingdom of Narnia.
 
Based on the poll, Fernie and Glen are the recommended hires for this contest. Well done!

I will be contacting Glen the new Marsh Warden and Fernie the loving server about their prizes, post cards with maps of Narnia by Pauline Baynes.
 

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