CharnTim III

The mods (of course). They have traumatized a lot of things, and I wonder if they aren't the real cause of Sturnidae Starling's identity crisis.
 
Forgive me my slight mistakes! I speak three tongue (four if thou considereth Shakespearian :rolleyes:), and I now learn yet another. Canst one be expected to have no flaw?
 
Indeed, mercy shouldst be shown unto thee, for thou art a tree of great renown, upon whose branches the birds of the air may make their nests.
 
But thou canst bear great burdens, O lossy-tree, for thou didst descend from the great tree in the great hall of the great earl in the great city of the great nation of the great desert of the great continent of the great ocean of the great world of the great galaxy of the great solar system of the great universe. Dost thou know what I do mean?
 
Thou art indeed. Thy pedigree hast proven long, and thou art worth much money, and the kings of the earth do war over thee, to learn who shall have thee in his front garden. But thou hast proven thyself to be a hopping tree, and thou hoppest whithersoever thou dost wish to go, no matter what the kings of the earth do say.
 
Those kings who maketh war o'er this contention - even those who wish, each and every one, that he shall have this tree in his own front garden - they maketh war in vain, for lo! The tree hath cast its roots into the earth, and many nutrients found therein: it shall not be moved, tho' king and gardener struggle greatly with't. Indeed, the moving of trees is delicate and ticklish at its very best, and much skill is required therefore; this tree, however, hath rooted itself so deeply that unless it giveth consent, none may move it from its place of rooting. Thus shouldst now the kings of nations, an they listen to my words, come to the tree as suppliants, and many and wondrous gifts offer thereto - so shall the lucky one persuade it to uproot itself, and travel to his home. And sooth: they wouldst do well to bribe it with Mod Cookies, for couldst a king insinuate but one into its maw, it shall become as docile as a lamb, for in Mod Cookies are contained many strange and subtle medicines, such as may beguile the mind of e'en a tree. However, if this they attempt, this warning also shouldst they heed: That if by deceit and underhanded use of Mod Cookies do they convince the tree to come with them, they had best keep it well-supplied with such Cookies ever after, for shouldst the tree wake from its Mod-Cookie-induced stupor, then great and terrible shall be its wrath, and that king who hath thought to deceive the tree shall ne'er see another day.
 
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I fear that the lossy-tree shall not be induced by Mod Cookies, for she hath aforetime warned many of their fearful properties. However, methinks she shall cause much trouble for the kings of the earth, for she liketh to watch them war over her, as jealous bridegrooms war over the wedding cake.
 
But I am a simple tree! All I ask is that the DLF choppeth down lady Glen's 20-year-old plastic tree. Is that such a great request? I wish not for kings, nor for war, nor for wedding cakes.

*hoppeth away with robin and squirrel*
 
The 20-year-old plastic tree hath been taken down above 20 times, and still breatheth in the poetic sense. Thy DLF shalt not find himself successful (is not the DLF thine, when thou attemptest to command him)?
 
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