The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition

Excuse me, everyone, but this is more accurate.

TELMARINE

(tel-mu-reen or tel-muh-rin)

An incredibly cool person who loves football, Dr. Pepper, sweater-vests, Vanessa, and many other remarkably cool things and people. A Telmarine is strong, fearless, and loyal to the nation which he inhabits, Telmar.

This is post #400! I am 40% Friend of Narnia! (I'm always 100% Friend of Telmar .)

He also likes to eat, and is fat.
I've made cookies before. Major feat.
I'm not sure about the Narnians, but telmarberry pie is a favorite of the Telmarines. We also like pastry of Rizustan, created by the great Rizustan, head chef to Caspian VI.

He likes to be precise in his spelling.
I am not on the Talmarines' side. I am on the Telmarines' side. Therefore, I win.

He is well-versed in history and random facts.
President Andrew Jackson's Cabinet was colloquially called the "kitchen cabinet" because most of its members were his personal friends, not highly-qualified individuals.

He loves donuts.
Hmm... my life would be made if I could conquer all the donut shops... See y'all 'round!

He loves Country Music.

Lee Brice - Love Like Crazy
Kenny Chesney - The Boys of Fall
Darius Rucker - Come Back Song
Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love

He despises badgers *cringe* but likes to have fun with his friends.
Quaint? Please, Mr. Badger. Don't make me use my sword on you.

Glozelle: Your sword? I thought your mom took that away for a week.

Sopespian: No, that was your sword, Glozie.

Glozelle. Oh, yeah.

Sopespian: Yeah... Glozie.

Glozelle: WOULD YOU QUIT CALLING ME GLOZIE?!

He is very noble, and keeps his promises.
Here is my favor...

I will keep Glozelle, my fellow Noble, from bothering you for the next 600 years. But, watch out when the year 2610 rolls around!

He is merciful.
Wimps. I will spare you out of my benevolent mercy.

He loves Snickers bars and brownies to go with his Dr. Pepper, but is careful not to get crumbs on his sweater-vest.
Brownies? Brownies? Where? Oh, Brownie points. Bother.

I could go on, but unfolding a Telmarine's many-faceted personality could take days. If you have any questions, refer to my post record.
 
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Glenburne's "Making Fun of Telmarines" :p

Originally Posted by Sopespian
Excuse me, everyone, but this is more accurate.

Telmarines know nothing about accuracy; they are too busy censoring news tidbits about terrifying monsters--namely, beavers and bunnies.

TELMARINE

(tel-mu-reen or tel-muh-rin)

No, Telmarines don't have dictionaries, which is why Sopespian did not include the proper phonetic markings for the two pronunciations above. Dictionaries would require printing presses, and then printers might also print about other terrifying things--namely, beavers and bunnies.

An incredibly cool person

No prejudice there.

who loves football, Dr. Pepper, sweater-vests, Vanessa, and many other remarkably cool things and people. A Telmarine is strong, fearless, and loyal to the nation which he inhabits, Telmar.

Dr. Pepper is indisputably good, but Telmarines proved themselves "fearless" by stealing it from the unarmed natives on that Pacific island (you didn't know Dr. Pepper was an ancient Polynesian beverage, did you?).

By the way, "strong" in the common Telmarine dialect indicates "a group so much larger than your group that it basically cannot avoid beating you."

He likes to be precise in his spelling.

And in how many terrifying creatures he kills--namely, beavers and bunnies.

He is well-versed in history and random facts.

Which is why he knows so much about the development of navigation.

He loves donuts.

You'll be telling me about the Narnian Krispy Kreme next.

He loves Country Music.

Exactly, which was why Telmarine kings traditionally sang "I'm My Own Grandpa" while riding into battle.

He despises badgers *cringe* but likes to have fun with his friends.

Which is why he keeps threatening them. Poor Glozelle.

He is very noble, and keeps his promises.

Like this one: "No, I would never kill you, my king. Your bunny slippers have won my heart completely."

He is merciful.

Which is why he will enslave a few Talking Beasts and only wipe out the majority.

He loves Snickers bars and brownies to go with his Dr. Pepper, but is careful not to get crumbs on his sweater-vest.

He is also careful not to get Turkish Delight, because that would have to be imported by ship. Ships sail on water. *gasp*

I could go on,

I'm sure you could, but we request your non-existent mercy.

but unfolding a Telmarine's many-faceted personality could take days.

That's the impression I've gotten.

If you have any questions, refer to my post record.

Will you kill me if I develop a multiple bunny personality? *checks post record* I'll take that as a yes.
_________________________________________________

No, I really couldn't help it. :D
 
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Lossendil said:
Olórin the Wise, though he hasn't quite completely left us, seems to be busy with other things.

College... Oh, the sacrifices we make for higher education.

And I'm rather relieved to have the guilt of not having fixed the Encyclopedia off my shoulders. Last time I tried to fix it (I did, I'll have you know, about a month ago) the editing features of the forum froze up, either because the posts were so massive or because the internet here is so bad.

Anyway, take 'er away! I may drop in once in a while.
 
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Look who's back from the dead! *cheese-splats*

And it's just the Internet, I've been getting "the forum is too busy" message more than I like lately. :(

And don't blame college, look at Freckles, Leike, or Derny, they all make it back here more often than you do. *double-cheese-splat* (Thanks for dropping by, and I wish you well at college. In fact, I shall even kindly forgive you your typo just for dropping by).
 
Snickers

The path to happiness.

~Miss Freckles

Or does that sound too cheesy?

Snickers

The ingredient of happiness.

~Miss Freckles

But no... we're not writing a recipe book here.

Snickers
Eggs
Cheese
Pizza 3x
Glue Stick
Birthday present for Smeagol?!

And not a shopping list, either.

Snickers

I WANT THEM!!!

Oops. This is not my diary, either. What else do I frequently contribute to? Let's think...

Snickers is tired. Shouldn't have cracked all those peanuts withNut Cracker last night.

And where's the stupid like button...? Oh, this is not facebook. Right.

Snickers

Candy bar featuring peanuts, chocolate and an undefinable other something. Can lead to massive confusion when consumed too enthusiastically (as demonstrated by this entry). Is frequently placed with Twix and Mars bars, but is fundamentally different. All those allergic to nuts will agree.

~Miss Freckles
 
deNile, also spelled de Nile or denial

1) a river that geographers insist is in Egypt, but which some have speculated to be in Mexico instead.

2) the swimming pool behind the Insane Asylum.

3) the permanent state of Dernhelm.

4) an anagram of "Elendil."

The word/phrase was first used in its present form by Glenburne in The Duffer Quiz thread, saying that she was in the state of denial after having been accused of killing said thread. She went on to ramble (as duffers are apt to do) about Antony and Cleopatra also being in denial (de Nile) when crocodiles came swimming along... the end. This discussion led to a discussion of geography, which led to a discussion of dufferhood, which led to some other discussion which eventually veered completely off topic (which they were in the first place).

Origins: here.

~submitted by Lossëndil.
 
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Ban Button, The Version II

A very feared impliment of terror used by the mods to remove helpless members who have done wrong. It grinds members into a kind of soulful sawdust that ES uses to make his mod cookies.

Submitted by ~Lava~
 
Soulful Sawdust

What is left of members after the Ban Button has been used upon them. Condition is somewhat reversible. Often used to make mod cookies.

Submitted by ~Lava~
 
Ban Button: (noun) - The dreaded implement used by the mods to impose their will on hapless members...

banall2.jpg
 
Soulful Sawdust

What is left of members after the Ban Button has been used upon them. Condition is somewhat reversible. Often used to make mod cookies.

Submitted by ~Lava~

No wonder mod cookies cause serious behavioral disorders. I think I'll offer a cooking class for mods: "Baking: What Not to Use as Flour." The course will cover the dangers of ingesting sawdust, as well as paper mache, facial powder, and glitter glue.
 
No wonder mod cookies cause serious behavioral disorders. I think I'll offer a cooking class for mods: "Baking: What Not to Use as Flour." The course will cover the dangers of ingesting sawdust, as well as paper mache, facial powder, and glitter glue.

Dorthy: Yum. Glitter glue is good. It makes your tounge sparkle.:p
 
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