Contest #14 Narnian Classifieds

Vote for your favorite ad!

  • plastic surgery for talking bulldogs (post #2)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • deluxe (used) sledge (post #3)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • new armor for Rilian (post #4)

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • wanted for alleged crimes: Jadis (post #5)

    Votes: 4 50.0%
  • White Witch's castle for sale (post #7)

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • badger brush for EveningStar(post #8)

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • paws for peace (post #9)

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • cheerful guide (post #9)

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    8
  • Poll closed .

Benisse

Perelandrian
Staff member
Royal Guard
Pose as a Narnian character and post your want ads or items or real estate or services to sell in this contest thread. You may enter multiple ads.

Deadline: June 1, 2013
Judging Criteria: creativity, wit/humor, faithfulness to the Chronicles
 
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WANTED: Someone who can invent the first plastic surgery in the Narnian world. Needed to bring peace of mind to a Talking Beast who has been teased and insulted for having a short snout.

Contact The Patriarch of Talking Bulldogs, care of King Frank.
 
For Sale: Gently used Deluxe Sledge with removable bells and luxuriously padded interior. Ergonomically balanced for a smooth ride over the steepest snowy hills and icy terrain. Reindeer not included. If interested contact Faun Tumnus at The Department of Justice and War Reclamation, Cair Paravel.
 
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WANTED: A new suit of armor. Must NOT be black, rusty, pink, or purple. Enchantments are strictly refused. Also must not carry any odors of dirt or natural gases.
Contact Prince Rilian of Narnia at Cair Paravel.
 
(This has not been done as a Narnian character, per se but certainly concerns one. This is as a possible aftermath to MN).

WANTED, for robbery with violence, assault causing grievous bodily harm, assaulting a police officer in the execution of his duty, causing a breach of the peace, causing an affray, causing criminal damage to a corporation of the city of London lamp post and a handsome cab, the ill treatment of a horse and other diverse serious offences, 7ft tall very attractive scantily dressed female with bare arms, answering to the name of Jadis, claiming to be of royal descent and believed to be of unknown foreign nationality. This woman is extremely dangerous, and members of the public should not approach this person, in the interests of their own safety. If seen, please contact New Scotland Yard (Telephone number: Whitehall 1212) your local police station, or any police constable.
Police would also like to interview a local man by the name of Andrew Kettersley, on suspicion of aiding and abetting this woman, and two children, Digory Kirke and Polly Plummer, who may also be able to help the police with their inquiries.
 
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FOR SALE

One White Witch's castle. Includes one dungeon, and a throne. May need some light cleaning. If interested, contact Ginarrbrik the black dwarf. Whereabouts: battlefield, with an arrow injury. Please bring Turkish Delight.

Price for Castle is undetermined.
 
Wanted: One genuine badger hair brush for a very scruffy badger looking to improve his appearance.

Brockhaven 44 - Ask for EveningStar
 
Community:
-Support Group-

Are you tired of feeling like a second-class citizen? Are you tired of linguistic discrimination? We can help! We here at "Paws for Peace" believe that animals of Narnia should be treated equally - regardless of one's ability to speak the human language or not. No one should have to feel that they are simply "dumb beasts."
Join us Fridays at 5 at the Dancing Lawn to network with like-minded individuals. Together, we can bring understanding.



Wanted: Guide with a cheery disposition

My friend and I are traveling again and are in need of a guide. On our last adventure, our guide was a real sour-pus. Hoping to find something with a more easy-going mindset this go around. Must have adventurous spirit! Inquires should be made to pplum321@narniafans.com
 
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Actually, dear Corin I will be adding a poll to this thread on June 1 so this whole forum can vote on your favorite ads! So this time you All will be invited to help judge this contest. Keep those wonderful ads coming in!
 
Are there any prizes for the winner or is this just for fun? Seems like lots of people like my ad and the other one someone else did about Jadis being wanted for crime.

Well, only one vote for each but it looks more in the bar graph. :D
 
Thank you all who participated in this Classifieds contest.
.....drum roll..... The winner is: CORIN THUNDERFIST II !

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Congratulations Corin on your clever Jadis ad :)
 
Many thanks, for voting for me. This is actually the first competition I have entered on The Dancing Lawn, so I am really chuffed to win it, especially as all the entrants were excellent. I worked on the principle that following the mayhem Jadis caused in London, there would unquestionably have been a thorough police investigation into what had happened, as she had personally committed several very serious crimes (not that she considered them to be such or was likely to be in the least bit concerned or sorry!). I did wonder whether I was 'bending the rules' a bit, as the incidents referred to did not take place in Narnia and none of the characters came from Narnia as the Narnian world had not been created until Jadis left our world.
 
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