What was the last thing you watched?

Lev (NOT "Leo") Tolstoy was at Sevastopol when the British and French besieged it. His written account of the siege, though published decades before the advent of motion pictures, has a remarkably _cinematic_ feel to it.

But moving on to what _I've_ seen:

It has often dismayed me that Christian-directed Christian-audience films are _very_ often trash in the artistic sense. Good intentions, even _sometimes_ a good message, but no skill in the execution. Lately, however, a secular DVD which I bought and watched giveth me great reassurance.... because it showeth me that even the most amateurish Christian moviemaker could not _possibly_ produce a movie as _dumb_ as the Lionsgate release "Tales of an Ancient Empire."

Thirty-six years ago, director Albert Pyun released the fantasy-action picture "The Sword and the Sorceror," starring the otherwise-TV actor Lee Horsley. Mister Horsley was nostalgically given a walk-on role by Mister Pyun for the 2008 "Ancient Empire" movie, and probably was privately glad that he _wasn't_ given a larger part. Kevin Sorbo, nominally the first-billed cast member of the new film, got barely ten minutes on screen, and had almost no action to do in those minutes. "Ancient Empire" featured a legion of vampires, but the former Hercules only managed to slay one vampire in the whole story. Still, Mister Sorbo doubtless was grateful for any star-billed employment, since he had finished the run of "Andromeda" and had not yet obtained his gig in the better-made "Mythica." And the ten-minute limit makes him virtually blameless for the shoddiness of this production.

My mind simply is boggled by just _how_ bad "Tales of an Ancient Empire" is. Some artwork that is prominently featured suggests to me that the script may have been derived from a graphic novel or series thereof. Any such comicbook work may have been done coherently; the movie, however, is nothing but a rambling patchwork mess of scenes which make hardly any sense. This lack of comprehensibility was partly due to staggering, wavering, blurry camera work-- which was especially evident when Michael Pare (who was absent from the middle of the movie, yet who carried more of the overall story than Mister Sorbo did) was supposed to be doing a death scene, but it was impossible to tell _how_ he came to be mortally wounded.

Moreover, there are gaps in both action and exposition, so bad that it seems
as if they changed directors three or four times as they went. I've mentioned that Kevin Sorbo slew a vampire in "Ancient Empire;" actually, he wasn't even _seen_ doing this, there was only a narrator _saying_ that his character did it-- by a lucky hit. Now, I enjoy watching most things Mister Sorbo does; I smiled when he slipped in one "Andromeda" reference by saying, "It's never easy." But this movie never even allowed him to *BE* Kevin Sorbo, just a dorky slob. He can at least put this on his resume as acting way _outside_ his character type.

The one bright spot for me (besides the Dylan Hunt quotation mentioned above) was that "Tales of an Ancient Empire" featured no fewer than thirteen strikingly beautiful women. My favorite of these was a blonde named Sarah Ann Schultz, whose face reminded me somewhat of Teri Garr in her prime. Miss Schultz was also a more expressive actress than most of the other women, beautiful or otherwise. But this isn't saying much; acting by both sexes was downright comatose at times.

Sheer humanity forbids me to inflict this pathetic movie on anyone else. It goes in the trash-- which is _not_ home to any of the other Kevin Sorbo material I possess on video. In the DVD's cast interviews, one of the supporting male actors (I believe his name was Sasha Mitchell) remarked that in fantasy movies "there are no rules."

Right. Mister Pyun certainly _didn't_ observe any rules involving consistency, logic or clarity in a film plot.

 
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I think the last thing I watched was the last half of a Criminal Minds episode. I was baking some crackers and my husband had it on the television. He loves that show. I do not like it that much... one episode is usually enough fuel for a couple weeks of nightmares.
I lucked out this time; the episode that was on was not nearly as intense or disturbing as they usually are.
 
^^^^^ If anyone remembers Sir Tom the Dragon Knight, he really likes that movie.

The last thing *I* watched was the new Justice League movie. I mostly loved it, _except_ for the irritating political correctness that was force-fed into the script at several points. Notably, the terrorists whom Wonder Woman defeated in an early scene (that's no spoiler, it's in a trailer) were made to say lines which would _instantly_ identify them as "fundamentalist" _Christians_ in the viewer's mind.
 
Reruns of That 70's Show...It was my favorite show when I was in my early teens, but the channel I used to watch it on stopped playing it a few years ago. A new channel I recently got picked it up, and I've fallen in love with it all over again, although there are later plot points I still don't really care for. I wish they had just let Jackie and Hyde stay together.
 
Season two, episode 8 of Ashes to Ashes...about to start season three.

This is my 2nd time watching through this series...I've loved Life on Mars for years and watched it more times than I can count, and this year, I finally acquired the sequel, Ashes to Ashes (although I had to also get a region free DVD player in order to watch it, lol) and I really love it, maybe even more than Life on Mars.
I'd definitely recommend it. You can watch it without seeing Life on Mars, but you miss out on a lot of the references to Life on Mars if you don't watch it first.
 
The Orville.
I know a lot of people seem to be irritated with it, but I actually really love it. I feel like Seth MacFarlane has really shown a lot of growth, and I applaud him for moving on from the sophomoric brand of shock value "entertainment" most people know him for.
 
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