The Duffer FAQ

I'm letting you pass the assignment because you drew a dragon, and dragons are cool. I don't know why I'm giving you a pass on this, except that I keep doing the same thing when I grade my brother's assignments.
Okay, so that picture is the best thing I've seen all day, but the thing won't let me give you reputation. It's not the best thing I've seen all week--that was a highly confidential email--but the picture is certainly up there.
(I am making him redo his research paper, however. He included no citations or bibliography and therefore is a plagiarizer. He claims he should not have to include citations because I didn't tell him to. I told him he's basically questioning the foundations of the earth. He says citations haven't existed since the beginning of time, and somebody had to have invented them. I said, Yes, David Hume, and you have to do a revision of this paper if you don't want to get a failing grade. My brother and I have a lovely relationship.)

Hmm....I do actually spend a disturbing amount of time trying to find rhyme and reason in people's actions. But the reasons help me find the rhymes. When I'm lucky.
 
You should tune in to these posts every Sunday night. You seem to have better health with those posts of Glen's, MF. I think that Glen should explain a bit more about them, though, or I might have to draft people into an army to war against her. Oh, well. I'll just write this all in stone. Thus, we'll have...

...an inscription recommending a subscription to the prescription of the transcription, the description of which would prevent conscription.

Don't you guys just love me?
 
I think I'll help you, too...I'm sending Glozelle after you. He's got some especially knotty problems, entirely of his own making, and would like a three-hour counseling session, beginning immediately.
 
Oh, I'm so glad you replied to this!

I was sad for Soapy when I saw that the thread had died after he asked that question. But the -cription thing gave me a headache so he deserved to suffer a bit. Or for a year.
 
It is rather sad that that particular question could kill a thread.... But I agree, headaches are not cool when you're already in the Asylum trying to recover...or not trying, as the case may be....
 
You can't provide the inmates with hot tubs and expect them to want to recover!

Anyway, I can't leave before I haven't finished my doctoral dissertation about the lemon trees growing from the ceilings in the south wing. It's a complex topic but my powerful rhetoric will amaze the scientific community.
 
"Powerful rhetoric"? "Dissertation"? Did you just use both those words in the same paragraph?

The Asylum does not welcome oxymorons, or any other kind of morons.
 
That confuses and worries me. I've become very fond of my hot tub. I put some turtles in it so whenever I get sad, I just dive to the bottom and look at their gently revolving, happy faces.
 
The turtles were committed to the IA after it came out their parents had taught them that an anecdote-worthy death was the meaning of life, and also played a game with them called "Antagonize the Shark". Those turtles are safer in my hot tub than they have ever been anywhere else.
 
Presumably it's because turtles are cold blooded, and Freckles is basically in the process of boiling them. *glares*
 
No one asked them if they wanted to be cold-blooded! They're much happier now. I invite you to dive down and see for yourselves.

*winks at Clytemnestra*
 
Where have you BEEN, you good for nothing boy? Now go clean your room and DON'T give me that "The Erinnyes messed it up" nonsense or else I will make you clean the bathtub, too. *snarls*
 
Orestes: I will not clean a tub stained with the blood of my father. Unless Aegisthus is in it.
 
Labelling bags takes all the fun out of opening them. There's nothing more exhilarating than opening a bag and knowing that there's a 50% chance a Greek legend is in it and an equal chance it's a dozen donuts so you can actually have a real dinner this week and you won't be forced to beg for food because you have no life and I should really stop listening to Glozelle because he is just super negative. Welfare programs so he doesn't starve to death, indeed.

What were we talking about?
 
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