Radio Lucy

Enjoy...:D
"Hey all you people out in Radio land. You're tuned into station "G-K-O-N." Home of the finest radio talk show in Middle-earth and Narnia. Tonight I have a special guest, Lucy Pevensie."
Lucy:"Hello!"
DJ:"Hey there poppet...how you doin' this fine evening?"
Lucy:"Uh...good.I just whipped Edmund at croquet and..."
DJ:"Croquet?I didn't think they had croquet in Narnia"
Lucy:"They didn't...Until Peter taught some giants how to play."
*Eyebrow shoots up* "Really?How'd that go?"
Lucy:"Actually it went rather well. They only smashed three windows and Susan's crown."
*Blinks*
Dj:"I'd hate to see what a bad game looks like...."
Lucy:"Oh trust me...You would."
DJ:"How are your siblings?"
Lucy:"Great...Edmund broke his arm after playing football with a centaur."
DJ:"That boy likes trouble like bees like honey."
*Lucy nodds*
Lucy:"Sad isn't it?"
DJ:"Yup...So uh..."
Lucy:"OH!Susan's fine...a little cranky at having her crown smashed. And Peter's peachy!He got called-on by a Calormene Tarkheena named Hildebrant."
DJ:"Hildebrant?"
*Stifles laughter*
*Lucy stifles laughter*
Lucy:"Yes...Hildebrant."
DJ:"I'm sure they'd make a lovely couple..."
*Clasps hand on mouth*
*Lucy giggles*
DJ:"How are you?"
DJ:"Oh....I'm fine..."
*Tries really really hard not to laugh*
DJ:"That's good...HILDEBRANT!"
*Cracks up laughing*
Lucy:"OH GOSH!"
*Lucy starts laughing*
*Falls out of chair laughing*
Lucy:"SHE'S SIX-FOOT FOUR!" Blurted out Lucy...
*Laughs so hard tears well up in eyes*
Lucy:"I think we better stop..."
DJ:"I CAN SEE IT NOW! Hildebrant bursts past the guards, hauls Peter over her shoulder and swings out the window on a rope to a waiting Calormene ship."
*Lucy laughs harder*
DJ:"They go to the Lone Islands for their honeymoon..."
*Lucy snorts*
*Stops laughing*
DJ:"You snorted..."
*Lucy stops laughing*
*Both burst out laughing again*
DJ:"Ok..."
Lucy:"Right..."
DJ:"HILDEBRANT!"
*Falls over laughing again*
Ten minutes later...
DJ:"Ok...we're back...Now that we got THAT worked out of our system..."
Lucy:"I laughed for three weeks after I saw her..."
DJ:"Really?"
Lucy "I don't think you'll laugh nearly that long when you see her."
DJ:"Oh I think I will..."
*Pauses*
DJ:"Hildebrant...Er, MOVING ON."
Lucy:"Right then..."
DJ:"That's just so funny..."
Lucy:"Pete's going to kill you..."
DJ:"I know...Er, well. What's new?"
Lucy:"Aside from-"
DJ:"YES!Aside from HILDEBRANT."
Lucy:"Oh, well...I helped Mr. Tumnus form a Faun Labor Union."
DJ:"Really?"
Lucy:"Oh yes! The poor fauns have been getting exploited as palace help for far too long!"
DJ:"I see. Do they get paid now?"
Lucy:"Of course."
DJ:"What do you pay them?"
Lucy:"Money."
DJ:"Well yeah...but what kind?"
Lucy:"The kind you buy things with silly!"
DJ:"Not the brightest bean in the bush are you?"
*Lucy gasps*
DJ:"Oops...Did I say that out loud?"
Lucy:"Yes!And I'm quite offended."
DJ:"Really? I took a bath last week."
*Raises arm n' sniffs*
Lucy:"EEEEWWWWW!!"
DJ:"Smell doesn't carry over radio love..."
Lucy:"But it does in here!" *Lucy puts her hands over her nose and swoons*
DJ:"Tough cookies princess YOUR the one who volunteered to do the interview"
Lucy:"That's before I knew you didn't bathe..."
DJ:"YOU try fighting Trolls, orcs and other uglies n' coming out smelling like a baby's butt..."
Lucy:"Uhmm..."
DJ:"Let's move along shall we?"
DJ:"Yeah..."
DJ:"How much are fauns getting paid now?"
Lucy:"Four gold coins a day."
DJ:"Wow...I can get 10 getting Denethor a happy meal."
Lucy:"Who?"
DJ:"The steward of Gondor."
Lucy:"The crazy one who tried to burn his own son?"
DJ:"Yep, that's Denethor."
Lucy:"Sounds like he's more than a few french fries short of a happy meal..."
DJ:"Try the burger shake and toy."
Lucy:"Oh dear."
DJ:"That's why he pays so much for one. So I hear there's quite a buzz going on about the new Prince Caspian movie."
Lucy:"Oh...Yes. I'm in it."
DJ:"I know. I read the book."
Lucy:"There's a book?" Lucy asked surprisedly.
DJ:"Yeah...Called Prince Caspian."
Lucy:"Oh, those clever producers."
DJ:"No, Lucy..."
Lucy:"Yes?"
*sighs*
DJ:"The book came first."
Lucy:"REALLY?How odd..."
DJ:"I take it you haven't read it?"
Lucy:"Read it?I've LIVED it."
DJ:"So you don't think you need to read it."
Lucy:"No."
DJ:"Ah...That s'plains it."
Lucy:"Eh?"
DJ:"Uh...nevermind." *Lucy gives DJ a weird look*
Lucy:"Are you sure?"
DJ:"Yeah...I'm sure." *Grins maliciously*
Lucy"Eh...ok..."
DJ:"You'll love the ending."
Lucy:"No, it's really really sad."
DJ:"No, there's an alternate ending for the book."
Lucy:"Really?"
DJ:"Yeah...You see after Edmund has his brains sucked out Peter tumbles offa cliff and down into the raging ball of-"
Lucy:"WHAAATTTT??!THAT'S REDICULOUS! Peter doesn't fall off any cliffs! And Edmund never HAD any brains!"
DJ:"Well you got the last part right."
Lucy:"You're making it up!"
DJ:"Nope...Read it last night."
Lucy:"Bologna."
DJ:"Sorry, all out."
Lucy:"Hmph!"
DJ:"Hey I'm not the one who wrote it..."
Lucy:"I bet you did." *Lucy scowls*
DJ:"Nope...I was too busy writing this."
*Pulls out book called "How Lucy got ran over by Mr. Tinkletoes, a novel by a knight."
Lucy:*GAAASSSSSSPPPP!!* "How DARE you!!"
DJ:"It's based on true events..."
Lucy:"IT IS NOT!I NEVER got ran over by any Mr.-"
DK:"So what about the CG Aslan?"
*Lucy looks bewildered*
Lucy:"Aslan's initials aren't CG..."
DJ:"I mean the computer Aslan. The fake they used in LWW..."
*Lucy gasps* "ASLAN IS NOT FAKE!!"
DJ:"No...the fake Aslan you worked with..."
*tears well up in Lucy's eyes*
Lucy:"But...Mr. Adamson said Aslan always came in for milk and cookies while we were at lunch..."
*Holds up a broom*
DJ:"This is the Aslan you n' Susan rode."
Lucy:"THAT'S NOT TRUE!YOUR A DIRTY STINKY LIAR!"
DJ:"Nope...and fighting trolls don't make one smell nice."
Lucy:"I SAW HIM KNIGHT PETER!"
DJ:"Sorry love, that was a man in a green suit."
Lucy:"But..."
DJ:"Sorry."
*Lucy runs off set crying*
*Slinks down in chair* "Well...That coulda gone better."
DJ:"Tune in next time as we interview our special guest, Queen Aravis. We'll see what she has to say about Calormenes and rising doughnut prices."

Remember, the Narnia characters are © their respective owner but this is the intellectual property of me,(so thusly © Sean H) any plaguerizing will get your butt kicked. Hard.
(Putting stuff up on forums, myspace,etc counts as publishing so seriously, DON'T plaguerize)
 
*bursts out laughing* :D Loved it!!! Especially this bit...
Gondor Knight of Narnia said:
Lucy:"WHAAATTTT??!THAT'S REDICULOUS! Peter doesn't fall off any cliffs! And Edmund never HAD any brains!"
That really got me giggling... :rolleyes: :D :D
 
Caller #2

Oh me.. me pick me!!

okay.. so um.. If Peter never fell off a cliff... how'd Edmund start with no brains? And.. did Lucy get run over yet?
*watches Mr. Twinkletoes drive off laughing*
uh-oh...
you should remember to tell your listeners that no fictional characters were harmed in the making!:p
 
caller 4

Sean!
i love your show. i particularly like the episode where you intervued the calormen kitchen staff, though this one was also particularly entertaining and boarders on being the stuff of legend and genious. i loved it. very creative and entertaining
your devoted listener,
fernie:D
 
I started burst in laughs since this:
DJ:"Yeah...You see after Edmund has his brains sucked out Peter tumbles offa cliff and down into the raging ball of-"
Lucy:"WHAAATTTT??!THAT'S REDICULOUS! Peter doesn't fall off any cliffs! And Edmund never HAD any brains!"
DJ:"Well you got the last part right."
Lucy:"You're making it up!"
DJ:"Nope...Read it last night."
Lucy:"Bologna."
DJ:"Sorry, all out."
Lucy:"Hmph!"
DJ:"Hey I'm not the one who wrote it..."
Lucy:"I bet you did." *Lucy scowls*
DJ:"Nope...I was too busy writing this."
*Pulls out book called "How Lucy got ran over by Mr. Tinkletoes, a novel by a knight."
Lucy:*GAAASSSSSSPPPP!!* "How DARE you!!"
DJ:"It's based on true events..."
Lucy:"IT IS NOT!I NEVER got ran over by any Mr.-"
DK:"So what about the CG Aslan?"
*Lucy looks bewildered*
Lucy:"Aslan's initials aren't CG..."
DJ:"I mean the computer Aslan. The fake they used in LWW..."
*Lucy gasps* "ASLAN IS NOT FAKE!!"
DJ:"No...the fake Aslan you worked with..."
*tears well up in Lucy's eyes*
Lucy:"But...Mr. Adamson said Aslan always came in for milk and cookies while we were at lunch..."
*Holds up a broom*
DJ:"This is the Aslan you n' Susan rode."
Lucy:"THAT'S NOT TRUE!YOUR A DIRTY STINKY LIAR!"
DJ:"Nope...and fighting trolls don't make one smell nice."
Lucy:"I SAW HIM KNIGHT PETER!"
DJ:"Sorry love, that was a man in a green suit."
Lucy:"But..."
DJ:"Sorry."
*Lucy runs off set crying*
*Slinks down in chair* "Well...That coulda gone better."
DJ:"Tune in next time as we interview our special guest, Queen Aravis. We'll see what she has to say about Calormenes and rising doughnut prices."

...and didn't stop until my tummy get ache....




Sean....you're totally crazy!!! You're genius crazy..... :D



make more please........
 
Amazing! I wouldn't have the brain or the patience to type that! I had no idea Narnia had radios! You should do another one! Good thing Lucy can't see my siggy, then she'd be devistated it's not REALLY Aslan!
 
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caller 5, which is the best number cuz it's halfway to ten.

Sean, that was hilarious! I like the Tarkeena part. That was so funny, I was practically on the floor laughing! Oh do right more, I haven't laughed that hard since lunch...

And, I'm sure the DJ isn't much brighter than Lucy herself...:p
 
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