World Domination 4

*douses Freckles in espresso from a full sized trans-Atlantic pipe*

I assumed that a pipette is a small pipe, and that you were miscalculating about the size thing, so I got something more appropriate.
 
Mob boss: *accidentally falls off cliff and lands in field of cacti* *is knocked out by falling bowl of petunias*
 
YES! Finally! Now I run this town :cool:

*pours espresso of honor on mob boss's grave*

*flowers start sprouting up super fast*

Why doesn't that work with humans?
 
Oh dear, my bad. However, the flowers made a high protective hedge of roses around the grave which no one can penetrate except the mob boss's... true love...?

Would anyone care to try?
 
*crickets*

Pretty sure the mob boss's true love is off cashing in on his life insurance policy.
 
I had no idea he was so beloved by crickets. Well, let them try.

*army of crickets races towards hedge*

One by one, stupids!

*heart-shaped bubbles pop over crickets' heads*

Let's do this alphabetically. Cricket, Abigail. Cricket, Agnes. Cricket, Ali- Okay, is "Cricket" the only last name in the cricket world?

*voice from the back* Mine is MacCricket!

*another voice from the back* Cricketska.
 
Er...given that crickets are omnivores, I'm rather uncomfortable with the level of interest being shown here....
 
I should point out that experiments with the militarization of the Ensifera Gryllidae are a very real concern, and that this inhumane weaponization of the Order of Orthoptera should be viewed as a severe societal injustice... Crickets are only omnivorous in captivity, after all.
 
Crickets need to shape up, get some morality, and stop eating each other. Then I'll worry about whether they're suffering from societal injustice.
 
If they had morals to begin with, interaction with humans wouldn't change their behavior. In any case, most of us don't cannibalize each other.
 
If they had morals to begin with, interaction with humans wouldn't change their behavior. In any case, most of us don't cannibalize each other.
Unless humanity is a corrupting force, which, given the presence of the entity know as the 'TellyTubby', appears to be the case. Also, it's nearly impossible to not cannibalize each other, given the amount of random skin cells and hair floating around, that are either inhaled, or ingested through landing in nearby food..
 
Unless humanity is a corrupting force, which, given the presence of the entity know as the 'TellyTubby', appears to be the case. Also, it's nearly impossible to not cannibalize each other, given the amount of random skin cells and hair floating around, that are either inhaled, or ingested through landing in nearby food..

This sounds like something a cannibal would write. Are you okay, Grim? Do you need to seek help? Would you please stop trying to cover my arm in steak sauce? Why would you even want to do tha- oh. Oh, no.
 
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