Mirrorpass

*UPDATE* I stopped posting this story on Narniafans and have deleted my posts. I am posting it on a private blog instead, so if you want to read, just PM me for the link and password.

I got why your story is called Mirrorpass. It is good and well written. Now I just need to know who or what Aria is and what sort of world this is. Where is the story going? I hope it goes somewhere good because it has that potential. It feels like a good fantasy story but it also feels like sci fi.

Overall is something I would keep up with. Please write more soon.

Mandikies is back!!!! yesssssssssss!!!! *huggles mandikies* ^_^

hmmm...as for the story, it'd be nice to know the plot of it, like BK said, although it seems really interesting, as always. Obviously Aria is a girl with wings, but what does she look like? This is just my own curiousity, but unlike Dust, I'd like to know what she is exactly....lol

I got why your story is called Mirrorpass. It is good and well written. I hope it goes somewhere good because it has that potential. It feels like a good fantasy story but it also feels like sci fi.

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Thanks Barbarian, that's a big compliment. I really appreciate it. I do have an idea where it's going, and we get some answers within this chapter, but there's a bit of buildup first.

Amzy! *Squee* I can't believe you commented so fast. Yays. I did actually anticipate people wanting to know what Aria looks like and where she's gone, so I do describe her in this chapter, but near the end. And more plot comes in pretty soon, almost all of it within the next chapter or so.

I have a very clear idea of who/what Aria is, and where she's gone, and I want it to be pretty obvious. So if you guys are still confused by the end of this chapter, let me know!

Posting more...

Aria. I like that name.

I like, I like!! Crystals and vibes... familiar yet foreign... sounds like something only Mandy could spontaneously create! So she's landed on Earth from some other planet, similar but different? Hmm. Interesting.

KK! *squeals* *plows into KK* I'm glad you like it. So it's obvious that this new world is Earth? If that's clear, then the rest of the story should make sense.

The crazy thing is, I literally did spontaneously create this - I just started with "Aria fell," and knew she had wings, and went from there. Now all sorts of scraps of other stories are coming together and playing a part. It's neat.

And I hope the vibes and crystals don't weird anyone out. It's all very harmless, and has nothing whatsoever to do with witchcraft, and has no more magic than any Narnian book.

Thanks for reading, guys. I'll post more soon.

well, I gathered it was earth since most of your stories are ON earth...and the whole gravity thing, plus the description of the clothes, other than that who knows. *shrugs* You might want to go into more detail of that later, which I'm sure you will, it'd be hard not too.

As for Aria, I'm gathering she's just a girl but with wings, yeah? And before, I thought Katka was just another being like Aria, but Katka is a male crystal? hmmmm...>.<....*impatients sinks in*...post more so we can know more!

I like it, its cool, different and.... intreging.

ok, so.... Post more!

yay! *high fives mtm* another mandikies fan!....*is head of the mandikies fan club along with KK*...>.>...*ahem*

For a single eerie second, Aria thought it was him. She could have shrieked with joy. How had he found her? How had he survived? But an instant later the door swung open, and his image shattered, making way for the girl who shouldered her way through. The girl was humming to herself. She dropped her keys into a bowl, and slung a cloth bag onto her bed.

Maybe if Aria wasn’t so confused or tried, she would have noticed right away. But it was dark. And Aria’s thoughts were still swirling from her false premonition. So she didn’t understand what was wrong with the girl, why the silhouette seemed lacking. Was it the long hair? The way she walked?

The girl looked up at her.

Aria froze, clutching the post, trying to quell the unease flooding her body. What was wrong? What was it?

The girl said something. It made absolutely no sense. While Aria watched, she took a few steps backward and locked the door, then flicked something on the wall. Light flooded the room. And in a terrifying flash of clarity, Aria saw.

The girl had no wings.

It was gruesome. Her body weight made her shoulders rock forward; her shoulders were higher and broad; her feet had mutated, squishing flat into a pair of thin sandals. Aria thought she would throw up. The baggy clothes, the long hair; it made sense. The girl was hiding her deformity.

Wrong, Aria’s heart vibed. Wrong, wrong!

The girl spoke in her strange language. Her tone was soothing, but wary. She paused. “Danst-da-under em? Ood eww?”

Aria shook her head over and over. Stop, she vibed. Please go away!

The girl took a step forward, spewing more twisted words. “Otto no-ging rut true.”

Aria lifted her wings in warning, even as it felt like they would tear from her body. The girl stepped back. Aria felt a wave of heat rush to her face. “Stay away from me,” she snapped. “Leave me alone.” She vibed internally, I hate it here, I’m terrified, you’re disgusting.

Aria thought she saw something flicker across the girl’s face—a kind of hurt, almost as if she understood, but what she understood confused her. The girl stood still. Aria glared. Neither of them moved.

Quietly, the girl spoke again. Aria tried to hear the vibe in her words. Was it gentle? Were those gestures less wary then before, more sympathetic? Then the girl pointed. At Aria’s hands, Aria’s legs. The girl took a step forward. Her tone was soft. Aria thought she understood—you’re hurting, let me help.

Aria looked down at her shaking limbs. She was covered in bandages. For the first time, she wondered how they got there. It must have been the girl.

Aria sank into the post and lowered her wings.

This is very good Mandy!! I like the story so far.

I did think you were talking about a planet like Earth but not necessarily Earth. In fact, you haven't said it's Earth so this could be something similar, like in another dimension or world that could make the story interesting. But whatever you have in minds would be great.

wow. this is pretty interesting--i like it, accept the gravity thing confused me a little becuase the earth is pulling us down but it is also pushing us down.

yeah, some clarification on Katka would help, because to me it almost seemed like Katka was the stone when you started talking about how she longed for the crystal. At the beginning, it did seem like Katka was a being like Aria, though.

Love the further description of Aria, how she can't understand the girl and her condition! Can't wait to see the rest of the scene.

There were others? Ok....This makes the beginning more confusing. Are you going to go into all what happened at the beginning later on in the story?

Ah! No, that's not what I meant No one else fell through with Aria as this story began. But I wanted to suggest that others may have fallen through, in the past. Aria's people always assumed that if you fell through, you died - or were as good as dead. Now Aria's wondering if there might be other survivors.

And I think you guys will get an explanation of the beginning, depending on it all works out.

So did something happen to Aria's world that they got separated, or did Aria just fall like those who fell before her? And why did she fall?

Hehe... questions are good for readers. My family just read 'The Magician's Nephew' last night and my little brother was annoyed I asked him "what do you think will happen next?" so many times...

I like it! tis very good. I'm glad that Aria can see that the girl is just trying to help her. I loved the bit about the wings-that was cool.

Aria just fell like those before her. And I'm glad you think questions are good, because I'm going to have to stop answering them for a bit; I think you'll get most answers in the story. I'll post after the weekend, guys!

yippee!!!!!!!!

Lost Dreamer said:

This is supposed to be earth, which I think will become more and more clear as the story goes on.

Hey daisy! *waves* thanks for reading I'm glad you like it. The gravity thing - on Aria's planet, gravity is backwards; she's pushed off the ground instead of pulled to it. Later in the story (I hope) we learn that Aria's people live suspended from the ground. When they stand in their homes, their heads are toward the planet, their feet toward the sky. So they would feel like they are being pushed into their floors.

Does that make sense? The science here is a little raw, so if anyone sees any flaws, let me know!

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I think it makes sense. Maybe their planet is too small and there are other bodies closer who have more gravity and attract things outward. That could work. I'll have to look it up.

If you notice I have not asked many questions because I like your style of writing. I want to be surprised and find out about things later. It does not make me confused. It makes me want to read it further to find the answers. Nice work!

ahem...it's after the weekend.