Stories of a Lonely Girl

hey I'm sorry I won't be able to post a lot this summer, I don't have my computer, but I'll try to post some stuff, sorry ...
 
After visiting the rest of the castle I went outside and ran to the stables. There, I saddled my horse and galloped for the rest of the morning. When the sun indicated me it was noon, I came home, skipping in the kitchen.

"Oh Miss! I'm going to ring the bell soon, you should change your clothes if you don't want to have lunch in the kitchen like last night" warned me Liz.
"Actually, I'd love to eat in the kitchen on purpose but my punishment would be more important this time if I did."
"Good idea Miss."

The green dress I put on was really fluffy and girly, it made me sure Mrs Crawford would be pleased. As I was putting a bow in my hair, the bell rang. William was already in the dinning-room when I arrived.

"Where's Mother?" I asked.
"She's writing a letter for Father, she'll be back soon."
"Where is he right now?"
"Do you think I know? It doesn't even interest me."



I know it's not much but that's all I have now, sorry :(:(
 
Mrs Crawford entered the room in a really elegant dress. The way she stared at me made my hopes of impressing her go down. We sat and started to eat.

"I invited some friends of your father and I tonight."

William looked at me like he was going to faint. He said:

"Mother, is this another lady you want me to meet?"
"No dear, actually, you've already met."
"We've already met?"
"Don't you remember Mr and Mrs Forman?"
"You mean, Georgia's parents?"

Mrs Crawford made a weird face when he prounounced his friend's name.

"Yes, her parents."
 
cf E. Nesbit's House of Arden

Hi Powl
Hope your holidays are going well.
I enjoy reading your story, especially the interplay between two time settings. It reminds me of a 2 book series I have loved since I was a child by E. Nesbit, *The House of Arden* and *Harding's Luck,* in which there was the same sort of mystical travel between family situations in the past and present... which wove together to transform both the future and the past.
 
Ahh, trying to catch up! This is very good. I love how it's progressing. I only had two comments: One, you might want to use more periods and less commas. Paragraphs like:
I started laughing, it was so good, some locks of my hair that weren’t attached were dancing in the wind, we crossed the great park, it was the same park I was in with my family, except there was nobody except a gardener. The horses started running faster, I had to pull on my reindeers.
Click to expand...

make me feel like I can't catch my breath. I start reading faster and skim the words. If you broke some of those run-on sentences up, it might be easier to read, IMHO. :) And also I noticed you said "reindeer" instead of "reins." Thought you might have missed that because of your dyslexia.

Love the story, and am in a hurry to catch up! :)
 
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