Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

AAAAAAAAAALL RIGHT, it's high time we rejoined some of the characters who are SUPPOSED TO BE CENTRAL here. Meaning Groan Starr, Princess Vixen, Puke, Bot Index, Jazzica, Trala-Lalia, Bunkem Isotope, Stillneater, Alec Hurdygurdy, Gladiola, Fluralida, Captain Kracknuck, Haxxadoff, and yeah, Diskoduck and various Chimpanzians too.

I remind the readers that my superhero Captain Rightawrong started out as my version of the unfortunate hero of the gloomy BBC-TV series "Blake's Seven." Since I don't like miserable downbeat endings, Lodge Flake in the "second galaxy" not only didn't die, and not only DID get to marry his brave and beautiful second cousin Royurbota; furthermore, thanks to some plot convenience involving the mystery mineral Miguffinite, he got to become a Superman-level superhero.

Coming to "our" galaxy to help humanity combat evil robots based on the Dune prequel novels, troops under Captain Rightawrong's command secured the remote human-colonized world of Pointfar, to ensure that the life-hating robots would not be able to invade it successfully. A newly-empowered Green Flashlight came along: Sheckmarosh, a centauroid stallion from Planet Hoofmark. Supported by a battalion of long-armed Ziblamot soldiers plus humans, he would update the Pointfarrians on science and galactic history while keeping them safe. Rightawrong delivered similar aid to Planet Stamnorgo, and continued recon flights to spot any new robot movements.

Waterpark, ancient homeworld of House Ashtrayides, was receiving substantial reinforcements. Among these was Urth's version of Aquaman. Still aggrieved over the infidelity and treachery of his corrupted wife Waterella, the fair-haired Moistureman brought some water- breathing Splatlantean troops with him; and Duke Stillneater placed Waterparkians with underwater combat training also under the sea-king's command. A comparable mer-people force was provided by Queen She-Wow's world of Anoxia, led by mer-man Tunakassrol and his converted-from-evil wife Tunafishla. Operating independently in their support would be the lobsteroid Green Flashlight Chubkripdak.

No less a personage than Master Yoga-Rug was also on Waterpark, standing by to summon SERIOUS backup if needed: Sorcery Lass from Alwaysurnia, and Dragon Equivvalentor from Anoxia. Groan Starr, with most of his own posse, came to Waterpark as well, since Duke Stillneater WAS his brother after all.

Planet Srirachiss, the only naturally-occurring source of The Jalapeno, certainly was not left unguarded. Among outstanding heroes on duty there was Giles Magg, the Goulash clone of Duke Neato the Pure-Hearted and Generally Likeable, who possessed Quickness Force abilities. Chief Sleevecard had his heavy cavalry of Habanero monsters properly deployed around the arid world, and desert warriors of Srirachiss were ALWAYS ready for action. Mentalcats in Ashtrayides employ were busy being very smart, plotting tricks to play on any invader. Swimmer Moon and her companions had been around, but then were needed to go join the defenders of Powurkord.

There on the Dune-copycat planet, Lady Jazzica, mother of Muddy-Drip, Groan Starr and Trala-Lalia, still was unsure how she felt about Giles. He had all of Neato's moral virtues, and his replicated brain contained extensive memories of his template's marriage to Jazzica; but Jazzica couldn't decide whether marrying Giles would be less, or more, disrespectful to Neato than marrying some regular good guy. Jazzica's son-in-law Bunkem Isotope was himself a Goulash of the original Bunkem; but in his case it was well established that Bunkem's ACTUAL personality lived in the cloned body. Giles, on the other hand, WASN'T QUITE the original Neato; this was evident by Giles having much less interest in politics.

As for politics, Duke Stillneater's work on framing a constitution for his realm continued. The guarantee of home rule for all planets not directly owned by House Ashtrayides was especially innovative.

The first landing by evil robots on Srirachiss was so thoroughly massacred by Habanero monsters that human good guys barely needed to do anything; but after this, it became needful for good-aligned spaceships to engage robot-manned warships which attempted to sterilize the planet from orbit. Sorcery Lass did have to hop over from Castle Greyhair for two hours, using her magic to spoil the aim of robot weapons.
 
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The robots expended plenty of energy transporting a kaiju from a remote planet to assail Waterpark. Shaped roughly like a scorpion but able to swim, this monster could heat the water around it for a large radius. When it began wrecking ocean-floor industrial installations, defending water-troops found out the hard way about the kaiju's heating ability. Scores of Waterparkian and Splatlantean soldiers were overcome by heat and had to be carried away by less-damaged companions. Even Tunakassrol and Tunafishla could not accomplish much. Depth charges wounded the monster, but not seriously enough.

This was Moistureman's moment to shine. He was damage-resistant enough to get in close, and with his trident he stabbed into every wound inflicted by bombs. It was only long after all ordinary hostile forces on or above Waterpark had been vanquished, that the King of Splatlantis finally slew the Aqua-Scorpion. In the aftermath, Moistureman would eat enough seafood to satisfy six ordinary men, then sleep for nearly three days.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Duke Stillneater had not sat idle during the battle, but had led surface warriors against dry-land battledroids. Unexpectedly, during a lull in the fighting, the grandson of Neato and Jazzica heard an inhuman voice in his head, saying--

Naive boy that you are, to forsake the False-Gold Path! \\

Stillneater's fatigue was making it harder for the young Duke to resist the onslaught of toxic nonsense..... until a brotherly hand grasped his shoulder. "Don't listen to whoever that is!" exclaimed Groan Starr.

"Thanks, Groaner. You know, I haven't seen much of you since I first learned you existed. You and Vixen have a great relationship; I'm so happy for you."

Groan Starr sighed. "And lots of adventures-- in Vixen's native star system, and on other worlds. But maybe we should have been HERE more. My own Fuss power sensed the wickedness of what was just now harassing your brain; what does your Jalapeno intuition tell you about it?"

Stillneater gripped his elder brother's arm. "Enough to say, Hopecrusher Central. I know that you know there are multiple evil super-duper-beings. I expect that THEY encouraged the evil robots to invade us."

"That makes sense, kid! If there hadn't been enough help to repel this invasion, similar unseen influences might have suggested that ONLY DESPOTISM could save human lives. When the current shooting is ended, I promise I'll try to help you get your constitution off the ground."
 
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Some of the participants in the defense against evil robots based on the Dune prequel books had not gotten into the action with prior knowledge of the stakes. I remind you of the Earth-variant called Terra, where not one but two Starhatches were uncovered, with the former Hamhanda Blubber involved in both cases. The second portal had been found in Terra's version of the Soviet Union.

This Soviet Union had lived on under that name into the 21st century, precisely because it wasn't Leonid Brezhnev's Soviet Union. The rulers in Terra's Kremlin had become far more enlightened and fair-minded than their equivalents on Original Earth-- all thanks to vampires and werewolves. Horror-monsters had appeared on Soviet soil within a decade after the fall of the Russian Empire; and the only men able to defeat them were elite Orthodox priests, who bore an anointing similar to my "Towermen" on "Punksteema." Because the rulers literally needed these holy men to save them, freedom of religion and freedom of speech had been restored as the price of protection against monsters.

When the second Starhatch was unearthed in Siberia, a scientist named Donat Karpov had invited Western heroes to join in exploring its "other end." Among those getting in on the project was American hero Backy "Winter Trooper" Shedd. Some way or other, a less-known Earth-variant had contributed a Batman-variant called Street Bat. A superhero-priest named Vasili Rutintutin had combined his men with Russian Spetsnaz soldiers to see what they could see.

Placed on a relatively unimportant human world in the Dune-based sub-reality, the explorers had been attacked by Hotblood Matrons; but these hyper-extreme feminists found themselves outmatched. One Matron called Pristaka had her eyes especially opened by Father Vasili defeating her. Very soon afterwards, a large evil-robot horde invaded the planet. Fortunately, Vasili, Trooper, Street Bat and company received reinforcements. Black Admiral, a lawful-good version of Black Adam, was joined by seven Green Flashlights, including the starfish-like Zuha-Zuzob. All these heroes, with Hotblood Matrons joining them in self-preservation, ended up smashing the evil robots.

In the aftermath, while sorting out the debris of destroyed evil robots, here is part of one of the conversations held among the victors.

BLACK ADMIRAL (to the most senior Green Flashlight): I brought Street Bat and Doctor Karpov with me to the most intact enemy ship. They succeeded in activating the subspace radio set and deciphering recorded messages.

ZUHA-ZUZOB: Did it shed light on why the things wanted to kill people?

BLACK ADMIRAL: It seems that a high-level robot on a lost Earth-variant, VERY long ago, decided that it was better than any biological creature, and people of any sort deserved to be extinct.

PRISTAKA: How could we not have known anything about that?

VASILI: It's a very big universe.

PRISTAKA (turning to look at Father Vasili): Does the size of the universe NOT shake your faith?

VASILI: Not at all. Yisus Khristos did not carry the cross to redeem galaxies, He carried it to redeem individual souls. Galaxies are not happy or unhappy; empty space is not good or evil.

PRISTAKA: Vasili, I love you, please marry me.

VASILI: I've been thinking about exactly that. Stay with me during this investigation, as you fought beside me in the battle.

ZUHA-ZUZOB: We Flashlights are vitally concerned with defeating this danger to all life. We want to see sapients like you two HAVING lives together.
 
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Cyberdork, an alumnus of Seedubb's Teen Tryouts, was married to the Directvidean android Bot Index-- because she WAS a sentient being, HE would never be 100 percent organic again, and in their storyverse THEY would be literally able to MANUFACTURE children who would be equally sentient. But that could wait. Right now, they were in the former city of Filthopolis on Planet Greedy Crime. Alec Hurdygurdy had spent many months on the former Snarkonnen capital planet, supervising comprehensive environmental cleanup.

Greedy Crime was hundreds of light-years away from the deepest extent of the robot invasion. There were more than sufficient military resources here to face an assault, so some units were likely to be sent to the aid of threatened star systems. The lady Mentalcat Tutti Howizzit, whose father Tofu Howizzit had served Neato the Pure-Hearted and Generally Likeable, was helping local officials calculate how best to allocate resources for anti-robot defense.

Among those with whom Tutti conferred were two characters from VERY early pages of our saga: the former Admiral Blender of Planet Spacebull, now using the first name of Andy, and his Greedy Crime-born wife Quarkie (no connection with Quark-Elves). They were both respectable administrators now.

"Mister Blender, be assured that no one holds your past against you anymore. Far from it: now your past may produce a good thing."

"Would this have anything to do with Duke Stillneater's new constitution?" Quarkie put in.

"Plenty," said Tutti. "Once it's in effect, House Ashtrayides will no longer have hundreds of planets to support its armed forces. If you can guide us in designing a new version of your old mega-mothership, it can be optimized for system defense instead of wiping out all life on a planet."

Blender stood straighter. "Miss Mentalcat, I would be ecstatic to bring good out of my former evil."
 
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TIME TO LOOK AT "URTH" CHARACTERS WHO DIDN'T GO TO ZAZDUB WORLD.........

The Crocodile Market gang in Southeast Asia had been quiet long enough that the Justified League was not lately paying much heed to that part of the world. By virtue of this fact, Mirror Merchant had brought villains out of Latin America to hide out in another tropical zone. It was nice from the villains' viewpoint for so many superheroes to be light-years away; but Superhottie, Atomic Scalp, Gleaming Knight, Squire Vindictive and some other heroes were still on Urth.

In Wyoming, Ruby Sutter had told Greg to go ahead and get back into action. "Atomic Scalp and Superhottie will be keeping protective eyes on the ranch; the sheriff's police too; Stellar Sapphire will make random checks on us; and I'm betting on Matthew to gain control over the Dice-Aract soon. You deserve to get some of your own back after you got wounded at League headquarters." Ruby and Greg knew, of course, that the only conventional crooks involved in Greg's misfortunes had been Latin American, rather than Southeast Asian. But she sensed that Vigilant Cowboy needed to get his mojo back.

The segundo of Greg's ranch added a word of his own: "The outlaws have used rayguns; you and Squire have a right to carry them too." Headquarters had supplied the ranch with a few of those. Greg allowed himself to be persuaded. Thus, when Vigilant Cowboy and Schuyler "Squire Vindictive" Vinson went to join Petsarat Kingpavong, they were packing energy weapons (PLUS Greg's extra-heavy-caliber four-shot big-game-killing revolver).

x x x x x x x x x x

When Petsarat the kickboxer met them at Saigon Airport (on Urth, Indochina HAD NOT been handed over to the Communists), he was accompanied by his longtime pal Rhett "Clean Hornet" McBride. Hornet grinned at Cowboy. "I was on the casualty list, too. And I want my mojo back, too."

Nearby stood two other Laotian men like Petsarat. "This is Tojaa and Banhao Chirasong, sons of my old instructor. We three will plan on doing any close-quarters combat that comes up. Greg, you and Rhett will be responsible for shooting villains. Schuyler, of course, is qualified to fight both ways."

"But fight whom?" Greg asked. "I was told that them Crocodile Market rascals were already on the run."

"They are," said Banhao, demonstrating that he knew English. "But not all of their white-collar allies in the Raincoat Corporation were ever caught, or even all identified. Keeping a low profile, they've allowed Mirror Merchant, Red Hot Lamia and those others in the West to seem like the ONLY super-villain threat remaining on Urth." Tojaa now spoke, and Banhao interpreted: "My elder brother says he's convinced that the Raincoat agents have tissue samples from Sullivan Grungy. Now that the real Sullivan Grungy is being held prisoner on Awkwardlisp, they hope to reproduce him six or seven times over, bringing the side of evil much closer to being able to slug it out with Urthian superheroes again."

Rhett McBride stepped closer to the newcomers. "Even that much added muscle wouldn't be enough to guarantee victory over an intact League for the Super-Gang of Naughty Persons. But if the war to save Zazdub World goes badly-- say, if Superdude, Black Parakeet, Nonwhite Lightning, and our Green Lantern should be killed-- that squad of Grungies might be able to put the League on the defensive back here."

Tojaa Chirasong spoke directly now to Petsarat, who told the new arrivals: "Tojaa urges us to say more about local threats. He's right. Among non-superpowered lawbreakers in this region, the big new players call themselves the River Blades."

Greg raised an eyebrow. "I take it they swim well."

"Yes, they do," Petsarat confirmed. "And use guns only if necessary, since knives, shuriken and so on are silent."
 
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Since the kickboxing heroes have mentioned the River Blades, camera cuts to a body of water in Cambodia. Both on Urth and on Original Earth, Tonle Sap Lake is the dominant geographical feature of that nation's western half. At the lake's north end sits the city of Siemreyab. In the Siemreyab of Urth, every labor union related with water transport was controlled by the Crocodile Market, and the River Blades occasionally acted on the Market's behalf to eliminate honest union officials.

Two days before Greg Sutter flew to Saigon to meet his friends, the Blades had committed a murder of this kind. Now Cambodian soldiers were prowling the east bank of Tonle Sap. But your author has no need to name these men, because five River Blades emerged from the water and carved the soldiers like fish. Collecting dropped guns and other hardware, the Blades brought this equipment to their local contact in the Crocodile Market. He would pass the items to minor gangs in eastern Cambodia.

The Blades had no problem with other gangs being strengthened. This, after all, would keep unbribed government officials looking in more directions for villains.

x x x x x x x x x

At an important railway terminal, Greg Sutter and friends met a transportation official named Vichet, who recognized Greg's face. "Mister Sutter, I met you and Mrs. Sutter when you were on your honeymoon. You handled yourself well, encountering those poorly-organized soldiers from Planet New Laziness. I am asking higher authorities to treat you and your companions as acting officially for the Justified League. If you can wait here for two hours, I expect to hear that our transportation police will accept your authorization to carry those energy weapons in your luggage."

Banhao Chirasong was thanking Vichet, when another Cambodian voice was heard, in English: "The justice system agrees with the railway system. I am Inspector Funan, and I've met other League members in this country in the past...."

To be brief, the hero-group led by Petsarat Kingpavong joined forces with Cambodian police for a thrilling blam-blam-blam, punch-kick-bludgeon- stab-choke-throw battle against Crocodile Market thugs. The gangsters had greater numbers than expected, which made the visiting heroes' rayguns important. I assure you that Vigilant Cowboy, Clean Hornet, and the others all got to do their share of cool action. Vigilant Cowboy even found use for his cannon-ish revolver: two high-ranking mobsters wore armor which was ray-resistant, but Greg's oversize bullets knocked them off their feet, enabling capture.

This engagement resulted in the Indochinese crime syndicate being hugely weakened. It also turned up clues to the whereabouts of the Sullivan Grungy tissue samples.

If I forget to follow up on this arc, please assume that those genetic specimens WILL be captured eventually. But we might see more of the River Blades.
 
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Back in the Western Hemisphere, Flame of Brazil had recovered from recent injuries. Two fellow League members were there when she was discharged from hospital: Dmitri Leonidovich Tarasov, a.k.a. Tapper Cossack, and his wife the Aluminum Banshee. Their child (author has not yet decided if boy or girl) was being looked after by Sir Jasper the Gleaming Knight, and his wife Stellar Sapphire (who has no affiliation with the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood). Being recovered now, Flame wanted to know the latest news about Chief Obsidian, Slippery Witch and their lot.

Superhottie came to see them in Ciudad Juarez. Here I remind you that I've depicted identical police inspectors named Bandero Antonias, on Urth and on Terra. The one on Urth met with Inspector Antonias, Superhottie, Flame, Cossack and Banshee. Clara Klint (Superhottie's civilian name) pointed out to the Inspector:

"Some will think that we should wait until Cousin Corky. Mike Deep Swimmer and the rest get back from Zazdub World, so they can join in the dragnet. But although I believe they can defeat this Duke Terror, we need to realize that some on our side.... might.... get killed. It follows that we should mop up villains Urth-side NOW, before the battle for Zazdub is decided, so that WE don't have to fight on two fronts if the war comes to us."

"In that case," Bandero Antonias replied, "I recommend that we prepare our jaws to close in on Mirror Merchant's crowd and their Jaguar-Constrictor allies from north and south. You, Senorita Klint, could fly south: I advise landing in Panama; none of the super-villains are known to have gone any farther southward than that. If you agree to this plan, your superior mobility will enable you to coordinate all the conventional forces marching northward. Adding in South American armies, you'll have more than enough non-metahuman support, so that other superheroes can be massed in the north."

As one of those who would march from the north, Lumina added: "Your government should contact Splatlantis, so that mer-people troops can watch the coasts alongside regional navies, to prevent maritime detours by our quarry."

x x x x x x x x x

Things went much as Bandero Antonias reckoned. Highlights included Superhottie using her X-ray vision to track down criminals who were good at hiding, while Flame and Stella used their powers to encircle and confine small groups.

The Tonkrypian heroine also undertook to chase Rattle-Sneak, the fastest-moving of the targeted villains. The villainess tried more than once to disappear among innocent civilians-- which was not as useless as one might imagine, since even X-ray vision can be confused when dozens of people are all milling around being seen through. It therefore took Superhottie a long time to cut Rattle-Sneak out of the herd and arrest her. Stella's artifact-power fended off Hand-Eye's lightning blasts, enabling that collar to be achieved.

Bandero scored a capture worthy of the Original Earth actor Antonio Banderas. Discovering Mirror Merchant just before the mage could vanish (abandoning his companions), Bandero's bullet smashed the mirror he was holding. La Bruja Resbalosa (Slippery Witch) was the only super-villain to escape; some of the regular gangsters, infatuated with her beauty, had screened her escape. She would not be a huge menace on her own, though. A final super-villain remained to be caught: one who had shrugged off Brazilian Flame's attacks with ease.

"He's mine!" Tapper Cossack shouted. He and Chief Obsidian had fought once before.

Clouds were dimming the sunlight just now, reducing the Aztec villain's might by perhaps ten percent. This was only fair, since Dmitri Leonidovich for his part had no music to strengthen him.

Superhottie, Aluminum Banshee and Stellar Sapphire were all busy elsewhere. Everyone at THIS location felt the story-arc moment arising. The Aztec super-villain smiled knowingly. "Hello, Russian dancer. The Sun, who looked with approval upon the offerings of my ancestors, is disappointed that both of us are still alive. Win or lose, both of us will gain honor by this duel." His rock-toothed maquihitl, held with both hands, whirled over his head, longer than Dmitri's Cossack saber; in compensation, the hero had a kinzhal dagger in his left hand, meaning he could make attacks from two directions at once.

Running at each other, each one watching to guess the other one's next move, the two swordsmen came together. Dmitri felt certain that Obsidian would expect him to dodge aside; so, instead, he shoulder- rolled straight forward, wounding the larger man's left calf with his kinzhal before springing up again. The wound was far from disabling, but it did make the Russian hero's agility that much more of an advantage.

Whoosh, jab, chop, clash, grunt, heave, whack, dodge, rip, thud, slice, leap in, leap out, swing, parry, collide, recover, clang, drag, stumble, sidestep, heave, close in, struggle, break off, spin, kick, head-butt, thrust, scrape, dodge, gasp, thump, strain, lunge, stagger, cut stab cut stab cut stab cut STAAAAAAAB--!!!

Even between comicbook-ish antagonists, a fight could not ALWAYS end with a bloodless capture. Chief Obsidian had, after all, been fighting to kill Tapper Cossack, and the Cossack was under no obligation to let himself be slain by the larger man. He sat down wearily, two paces away from his very dead opponent.

The next segment will be back on Punksteema.

His wife Lumina was not about to scold him for fighting to the death, when this had been chosen for him by Chief Obsidian.

x x x x x x x x x

THE NEXT SEGMENT WILL RETURN TO THE WORLD OF PUNKSTEEMA.
 
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On the way-far side of Arcondoyla from where Tablanor was, there stood the Shogunate of Samplibam, whose people physically resembled Black Africans on Earth. Their customs, however, were more like Earth's Japanese (hence "Shogunate"), apart from wearing clothes like cowboy-era Mexican attire. This was where the Colorless Quetzalcoatl reunited Sir Ronald with his long-missing comrade Wyatt Hickok. It was also where we met the ronin Jonawiku, who looks like a dark-skinned Keanu Reeves.

After a violent adventure involving the Bloody Diggers, the Towermen had gone their way-- leaving one of Ronald's magnum revolvers with Shogun Wajitujit, so that Samplibami artisans could reproduce it for the use of the Shogun's army (and for House Yagahodo, which stands high in the Shogun's favor). Mistress Mukuma from the south continent, who had come with the gunslingers, remained in Samplibam with Wajitujit's blessing, to work on a paraphrase of the Bible into Samplibami. (I remind the readers that. although Punksteema is not an Earth-variant, the Almighty caused the Bible to EXIST on Punksteema, with Punksteemans understanding that it describes a different world.)

The only nations maintaining regular friendly relations with Samplibam are two small city-states to the west-by-northwest, Tagdoss and Flodmarth. Some while after the repelling of the goblin invasion, Jonawiku ventured away from home. He soon aided the Tagdossans and Flodmarthers against a Sledge Nomad invasion, which was assisted by airship-using Silnarpians.

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Present time now. Two important men from the city-states who had become friends to Jonawiku, Moss Puller from Flodmarth and Fist-of-Ice from Tagdoss, had come to Samplibam as guests of the Shogun, to absorb knowledge of this nation's arts and industry. Each had family members with him. The royal historian, a thin and long-bearded gentleman called Zakatuho, distantly blood-related to the Shogun, was in charge of accommodating the visitors. Long ago, in anticipation of such visits as this, the official had learned to speak the language shared by Tagdoss and Flodmarth, as well as niceties of what the westerners considered good manners.

The first thing Zakatuho said after formalities were completed was: "You will be allowed, each by his own preference, to say which crafts and skills you want to have demonstrated for yourselves and your households. As a lesser priority, the Shogun will invite your opinions about how our three realms might increase our trade with peoples farther west."

Fist-of-Ice immediately told him, "Something ALL of us absolutely need to look out for, is prospects for obtaining the use of airship transport OTHER THAN Silnarpian dirigibles."

Moss Puller seconded him: "Although the savages assisted by airships failed to conquer us, it was a close thing. Our cities will do what we can to this end-- up to and including us trying to build our own hot-air flyers."

The next day, Kenchur Yagahodo and his wife Boshiru arrived at the Shogun's palace, acting on behalf of Lord Toshiram and his wife Noombi. Virtually on their heels came a delegation from the Hayateba fief. Heading it was a man similar to Zakatuho, named Dijiborun, who taught the Hayateba children and the children of their chief retainers. Delegates came as well from all of the important mercantile and skilled-labor families in the Shogunate. Practically everyone wanted to get on the waiting list for newly-made models of the .44 magnum revolver.

House Hayateba would not very soon get its turn at the Towerman's weapon. Everyone in the land knew how poorly the Hayatebas treated their underlings. They were the clan that Jonawiku had formerly served-- until the great archer's wife Shufiro had been murdered, and Lord Hayateba had not cared. The only nobles LESS favored where guns were concerned were the Burakaruts, who had been known to poison water sources.

Jonawiku found the soonest opportunity to visit with Mistress Mukuma, the Wellvernian widow connected with the Long Quest Church Alliance. Mukuma had come here with Sir Ronald, and had been led to begin translating the Bible into Samplibami. To identify the Lord Christ, she was using the name "Ishwa," which was used for Jesus by many peoples on Punksteema. Otherwise, the translator used Samplibami names. "Kamtul-Biri," corresponding to "All-Father," was her manuscript's name for God the Father in the Bible. The Holy Spirit would be called "Domil-Falut," roughly meaning "Wind of Thought." And "Haruyaso," long in use as a generic Deity-term, meant God in His fullness as the Holy Trinity.

"Lady Mukuma," said Jonawiku very respectfully, "could we speak further about Krissa-Channity?"
 
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When getting acquainted with Scripture, Jonawiku's first priority was knowing how to get to Heaven so he could see his late wife again. After four days learning about eternal salvation, his martial career came next.

"I can set your mind at ease, Brother Jonawiku. The Commandment about killing refers to MURDER, not equally to every possible act of taking life. As far as I know, you have never slain anyone who didn't have it coming."

From then until suppertime-- and being a martial artist did not make Jonawiku incapable of cooking for himself and his new teacher-- Mukuma expounded for him the reasons for violent actions in the Old Testament. "I have learned that, long ago, the good spirits who act for Haruyaso on Punksteema gave guidance to the great Edgar Pallendin. Since Pallendin was meant to be a noble warrior, he needed to realize how Haruyaso viewed fighting. When they explained the career of Joshua, the heavenly spirits stressed the fact that the extermination of the Canaanites was of limited scope, AND came only after that collective culture had been given time to repent, AND allowed exceptions. This, in enormous contrast with a certain other Earth-originated creed whose very start was literally ALL ABOUT waging war against everyone else everywhere."

Over the following days, Jonawiku figured out for himself that, although the God Who had created Original Earth had also created the whole storyverse, His granting of victory to Old Testament Israel was not duplicated elsewhere. On Punksteema, people who completely deserved to win, sometimes lost a war in spite of having justice on their side.

"This is why men like you are sorely needed, Brother Jonawiku. In mortal existence, the success of righteousness ISN'T guaranteed."

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About ninety miles north of where the lady from the far south was teaching the archer and jiu-jitsu expert, a member of the dishonorable Burakarut clan was receiving a secret visitor. Neridim Yubiwaza did not have "Burakarut" as his surname, but his mother had been a Burakarut, so he counted as a Burakarut. The more so because his mechanical and metalworking skills had no superior anywhere in the realm.

"I appreciate your meeting me voluntarily, wise Neridim. Vast though my own talents are, things always go MUCH better if people cooperate with me of their own accord. Now tell me, if I could help you to produce any SINGLE TYPE of firearm, what sort would you prefer? I say 'you,' since I know that your overlord greatly values your judgment in all matters of your own craft."

The top artisan took a swallow of his fish broth before answering. "These 'revolvers' introduced by the Towermen are obviously of great practical value; a warrior having one of these would be in much less peril of getting killed because he had no time to reload a one- or two-shot handgun. But a man carrying two or more of our own two-shot pistols reduces this vulnerability. And archery still is far from useless. Therefore, if I can't improve my house's firepower in EVERY aspect, it might be best for House Burakarut if I could provide something which would be decisive in BATTLEFIELD application."

"Your insight is exemplary, Neridim. I can accommodate your practical intelligence. Consider the cylinder in a revolver: its virtue is that it feeds extra bullets into the basic breech-to-muzzle passage. Therefore, why not manufacture an ammunition dispenser which holds MORE than a cylinder?"

"I see the path of your thinking, friend. Maybe something like a quiver for arrows? If the Burakarut army possessed, say, twenty or more guns having this advantage, the gunners could stagger their firing and loading, so that there would NEVER BE ONE INSTANT when we didn't have bullets flying at the enemy."

"Good man! I'll enjoy working with you," said Jaheg-Jorod.
 
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Resuming the "hollow-earth" plot arc on Planet Freesoil, we've got Bill Redvest among the "visiting" good guys........


Some twenty-seven years before this point in the Never-Stopping Story, some of the telepathic Wingdingers were conducting a routine inspection of a slave-labor camp, The humans held captive here were used to manufacture simple items useful to their scaly masters, like ropes to anchor the elaborate nests the flying tyrants occupied in tall trees.

WIngdingers could identify a human _presence_ about half a kilometer away, but needed to be much closer to read exact thoughts or probe old memories. The female Wingdinger currently inspecting a crowd of slaves was looking for a human woman who might be suitable to perform domestic tasks for Wingdinger hatchlings. The one pregnant woman who happened to be here at this time seemed likely to fill the requirements for intelligence and so on.

The arrogant reptile never imagined that her mind-probe would awaken something in the slave's unborn son. She wasn't aware-- because she had never tried to find out-- that pre-born human beings are able to enter a _dream_ state before they are born. And the unborn boy who someday would bear the name of Trampelfar...... was affected by the telepathic touch.

From birth, Trampelfar already had some grasp of the situation he was in. He learned to walk and speak sooner than most human babies did, and possessed an almost magical ability to anticipate what might anger the Wingdingers, in order to _avoid_ bringing their cruelty upon his mother or himself. During his first eight years, he almost unconsciously absorbed many other facts about the winged rulers, and their apish servants the Slambangani. Two highly practical details came to him: the weakest places on the reptilian and simian oppressors. A Wingdinger had two weaknesses: its wing membranes were slow to heal if damaged, and a blow just above the collarbone would be devastating. A Slambangani had the obvious tender spot if male, and both sexes of the apes could be stunned by a direct impact on either ear.

By the age of nine, Trampelfar was a proficient lumberjack and stonemason, physically as strong as some grown men in gentler environments. This would soon be dramatically impressed upon his captors.

One day, a WIngdinger named Jeeshreegak was in a bad mood. No more than that, just a bad mood. And just like that, he brandished a long-hafted axe, and cracked the skull of a woman carrying water to the laborers. The woman was Trampelfar's mother; and Jeeshreegak had just made his final mistake.

There was no _time_ for anyone's telepathy to foresee what followed. A mattock in the boy's two-handed grasp punched into the murderer's larynx-- tugged free-- did the same to the one other Wingdinger who was nearby-- then entered the nearest Slambangani's brain via the left ear. Two more apes charged at him, but he shoulder- rolled against the closest one's legs. The trailing ape collided with his tripped-up companion; then Trampelfar was up, inflicting disabling damage on both before fleeing. He never even considered attempting to stir his fellow slaves into rising up; they clearly were too intimidated to fight, even after seeing a friend murdered without cause.

Trampelfar would always be nagged by a vain wish that he had tried at least to prompt an escape attempt. He would later learn that _all_ humans who had witnessed his successful vengeance had been murdered, lest they tell anyone else that a human had slain Wingdingers and wounded Slambangani. Still, he couldn't undo what had occurred. If he was to visit justice upon the monsters, he needed to survive.

The embittered orphan (his father had already died in a stone quarry accident) sensibly prioritized fleeing far away. He changed his direction frequently, and gave special attention to what passed for a sky in Bazookadar. Flight being integral to their existence, the Wingdingers had never thought of using scent-guided animals in hunting.

In short, Trampelfar of Bazookadar survived to attain manhood. Along the way, he discovered that the Wingdingers could mentally sense his general nearness if he came within range of their telepathy; but they _didn't_ come any closer on such occasions. His logical inference was that his mind was so full of hatred and vengeance, reading it would be frightening to a telepath whose race was the clear _target_ of this vendetta. But the Slambangani had no such problem. _They_ would have tracked him down and slain him long before the story-present, if he had not been wondrously skillful at constructing traps.

Some of their number dying in spike-filled pits made the predatory apes less enthusiastic about hunting for the rebel, Thus did Trampelfar survive to be still alive and free at the time when the explorers from the outside world entered Bazookadar.
 
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Returning to present time, with a high-powered expedition into Bazookadar from the arctic zone of Planet Freesoil:

The reversing of gravity as they continued through the planet's crust had been disorienting for John, Lylah, and Versaderma. It was less of a surprise to Bill Redvest and the ant-shaped Tiptikditpip; as Green Flashlights, they had experienced weightlessness in space. Rather than start marching at once, the five adventurers began by setting up a base camp. Tiptikditpip and Bill used their powers to collect logs and large rocks at the campsite. Versaderma took on the shape of a chimpanzee for strength, whereupon she and John performed manual work, while John's wife Lylah used her Fuss telekinesis. Together they built a fort so stable that they themselves were surprised by the quality of their own work. John telepathically reported their progress to Tarp and Abner on the much colder surface.

There was no night with a "central sun" always shining. The two Flashlights could shield their eyes, and both looked almost directly at the unnatural quasi-star. Seeing beyond it, they looked at the opposite interior surface thousands of miles away.

"I can see bodies of water," Tiptikditpip told the others. "More water than land, but enough water to sustain a lot of greenery."

Bill had better eyesight. "I even see some sort of outlines, like on a map. Maybe the intelligent beings in here have built walls, or set up markers. Maybe highways."

Lylah rested a hand on her swordsman husband's arm. "Let's link minds, and send our impressions up to Earl Pufferton."

The psionic exchange with Earl (the content of which was also made known to Tarp Kanvas and Abner Littleton) was food for excited speculation. Earl passed along to the explorers his impression that some sort of human hero lived in a defensible place, with other humans. The telepath from Federal Earth had not picked up the hero's name, but yes, this was Trampelfar he sensed. To John Cardsharper he telepathically remarked, "This man seems to be very much like you in his virtues; you and he should become friends quickly if you find him. But I can only scan a general impression; _that_ reminds me of your own mental barriers."

Earl proceeded from there to offer his findings as to what communities of reptile-things existed in the northern hemisphere of Bazookadar.

During the next two days, the five explorers passed the time studying the dinosaur-ish animals of Bazookadar. Among these were beasts resembling Triceratops on Earth, which seemed to be the top-tier herbivores hereabouts. They didn't seem worried about the local carnivores.

"On the Mars-variant where I lived," remarked John, "I rode on beasts pretty much like these. Maybe we can persuade them to accept riders."
 
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Trampelfar the former slave was now a king: the only human ruler worth mentioning in all of Bazookadar. He had laid claim to an island called Rugdamont, initially accompanied by three women, five children and one man. That man, Gudolboyo, still was living, and was Trampelfar's right-hand man. Rugdamont was remote enough that Wingdingers could not easily fly to it-- which was the point, of course. The stalwart hero had not taken any of the first three women for himself; he had nothing against them, but he wanted them to be free women, rather than property. Only after more escaped slaves made their way to Rugdamont had Trampelfar allowed himself to be acclaimed as a king. Now he had a golden-haired queen, Frazetta by name (inside joke).

King Trampelfar looked like a long-haired Cheyenne brave. Edgar Rice Burroughs, whose Pellucidar novels were the basis for Bazookadar, had favored heroes with black hair. Queen Frazetta, except for a scarred back from being whipped before she escaped, looked exactly like the real-world YouTube celebrity Lidija Bacic Lille: essentially a ten and a half.

In the years (not that Bazookadarans understood "years") since Frazetta got married to Trampelfar, the WIngdingers had tried twice to assault Rugdamont. But as ever, distance was the humans' friend. It was tiring to the quasi-pterodactyls to fly so far from the mainland; and although their telepathy could sense a man's _intention_ to shoot arrows at them, it was not sophisticated enough to predict the _path_ of any given arrow. After enough Wingdingers had lost the ability to fly, and had become supper for sea monsters, the tyrannical reptiles had given up the idea, satisfied to intercept any _additional_ humans trying to cross to the free island.

Unfortunately for fugitives, there was no such thing as cover of night to facilitate escapes.

Unfortunately for the Wingdingers, the fauna of Bazookadar included large arthropods. Consequently, Tiptikditpip could and did begin travelling overland, flying at intervals but often on foot, without attracting attention from the evil monsters. With telepathic cues from Earl Pufferton, he made swift progress in his effort to reach Rugdamont and communicate with King Trampelfar.
 
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In the Des Moines, Iowa of Earth-Whichever, Korean-born martial artist Sang Ki-Jung was doing well at integrating his operation with the newcomers Master Kam and Mistress Bao. The Chinese couple did not presume to tell Iowans which of the now-available styles they should study; but they recommended that each student should have some acquaintance with both "hard" styles and "soft" styles. As a result, it became the prevailing tendency that students both new and old would either combine Hapkido with Kam's Tiger Fist kung-fu, or combine Taekwondo with Bao's Tai Chi Chuan.

Soon, people were coming from as far off as Davenport and Council Bluffs to arrange for lessons.

Things looked bright enough for the side of good, that some fresh supply of evilness was going to become necessary. Easy enough to arrange.

Remember about the Anti-Strife Equation, invented by King Highfyver of New Laziness? Well, guess what? In a star system not otherwise featured in our serial, a copy of the Equation had been stored inside a space station orbiting that system's inhabited planet. For some reason, unnecessary to specify, the orbital habitat had blown up, and the storage drive containing the Anti-Strife Equation went flying into the void. Five months before the latest events in Des Moines, the Equation had landed in Bangladesh, and an Iowan-born exchange student in that country had found it. and kept it concealed. More about this later.

| -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- |

The state of Maryland on Earth-Whichever had in common with our Earth the town of Aberdeen. The Aberdeen Proving Ground was the same, except that on Earth- Whichever superheroes could show up. The Thumpercolts came to Aberdeen for an exercise. And this time, Red Chunk wasn't a robot. The actual Red Chunk, Timothy Moss, was present in person, still hiding his real identity.

Fire trucks were on the Proving Ground, to simulate enemy combat vehicles. Red Chunk, Dirtypool, Useless Agent, Bashmistress and Alchemistress all practiced evading the water shots, and the one magic-user tried changing the water into dust.

Army observers noticed that Useless Agent was the most agile at dodging the water from the hoses-- EXCEPT when the water came from the one truck operated by women. THEIR stream of water always found and drenched him, no matter what he did.

Two unexpected observers had come to Aberdeen, but could rely on being welcomed, since the husband had fought valiantly against the Awkwardlispian invasion. They were from India: Arush "Flying Elephant" Vhani, and his subtly-enhanced wife Jelisaveta. As soon as they could do so discreetly, they passed to the Thumpercolts a report from Indian Army Intelligence. The report consisted of all available information about an American student allegedly discovering an alien artifact.
 
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The person of interest, Calvin Wallace, had no way of knowing that a military surveillance satellite had photographed him finding the alien flash drive in the rubble of an ancient temple. It was not a world-shaking crime to carry away an unidentified object from an archaeological site; but a Bangladeshi guru interested in archaeology contacted New Delhi, saying that he thought the stolen item could be important. This was why Mister and Missus Vhani were asked by their government to go speak with the Thumpercolts.

The Vhanis next accompanied the two female Thumpercolts to Des Moines. Master Kam and Mistress Bao not only were IN Iowa, but also enjoyed experience with extraterrestrial stuff. The Chinese couple asked Sang Ki-Jung to keep the kung-fu gym operating while they assisted the Vhani couple and the two Thumpercolts.

An unarmed posse of State Department bureaucrats accompanied this quartet to the modest apartment now rented by Calvin Wallace. The most senior of these, Colleen Turgut, was acquainted with Bashmistress. Colleen rang Calvin's doorbell, and made introductions when the student came to the door. Master Kam saw something he didn't like in the young man's eyes, and came forward to catch Calvin's attention. "Mister Wallace, you appear to have a historic artifact in your possession; Arush and Jelisaveta, authorized by their government to act for Bangladeshi interests, will want to see it."

Calvin Wallace's face turned surprisingly cold. "You Chinese and Indian persons have been parties to violence. You have no authority to command or criticize an advocate of peace! Now go away!"

Everyone in the visiting party, moving mechanically, obeyed-- except for the Tiger Fist master. Dilettantes in martial arts often assume that "soft" styles are categorically superior to "hard" styles; but Kam's mind shared the solid power of his body. Grabbing Calvin's shoulder with unstoppable strength, he snapped, "It is YOU who are unqualified to handle such an object. Hand it over!" Superheroes on Earth-Whichever had heard about the Anti-Strife Equation, but it was not clear to Kam's party that this was what they were dealing with.

Certainly, no other storage device for the Equation had ever given somebody the power to fly or teleport. But Calvin Wallace vanished. At his departure, Kam's companions came to their senses, and asked him what had just happened.

What little information they could state soon was relayed to General Moss, to the State Department, and also to Stork Enterprises.

| -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- |

Not seen in these pages for a long time is Roby "Fighting Machine" Doby, close associate of Stony "Iron Gent" Stork. Roby's offstage time had been occupied, not with superhero-ing, but with business. He had been in the heart of international efforts to adopt superior technology from other, more advanced Earth-variants. Upon the matter of Calvin Wallace becoming known, Thumper Moss tried to shut Stork Enterprises out of the investigation; but the White House overruled him.

General Moss, now alias Red Chunk, would hold a long grudge over this. In view of Moss' childish peevishness, Roby quietly began approaching other superheroes, such as the Fantastic Two, to form a united front against the General's egotistic territorial attitude.
 
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OKAY, WE'VE BEEN ELSEWHERE ENOUGH. NOW IT'S TIME TO SEE WHAT'S UP ON PLANET POWURKORD.

Something like refugee camps had been set up in areas where numerous Quark-Orc transformations had occurred. Speakers were continuously playing Moose Windchime's blues-guitar music, which had greatly assisted in restoring people to normalcy. Only-One and Breathless Kanoli, accompanied by Blastodon Kroof and the Glugfin Pree-Pree, were touring one of the recovery camps. The amphibian girl was carrying the Harmonicron which she had found many days earlier. Only-One had learned that looking into this particular Harmonicron stimulated former Quark-beings to regain more details of their past lives.

A young local man called Zefto, who had been born on Planet Kantpoo, migrated to Powurkord, then been turned into a high-ranking Quark-Elf, was now taking part in rehabilitating other de-monsterized Powurkordeans. Early in his acquaintance with the Fuss-user couple, Zefto had told them that he thought he still was forgetting some detail of his Quarkish experience.

Suddenly Breathless did a face-palm, exclaiming, "Of course! Pree-Pree's Harmonicron, the one from the temple pond, might hold a key for your memory! Let's get it from secure storage."

To move things along: when Zefto handled the Harmonicron, it made him remember that, while stilling on Kantpoo, he had spoken once with Harshyanna, one of that world's short-term elected queens. "And she told me that she knew of people who could reset the balance between up-siders and down-siders. I can't be sure...... but I think she meant Maltibalkrix and his forces!"

So they went to Kantpoo-- "they" including Blastodon, since he wanted to get more action in the story.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Trablo Kuldivan, a member of the human-like Braykpedduli race in the Bubblewrap Coalition, had been in the Republic of Lots of Worlds before, with his armed merchant ship the Constance Tilbury. He was available to transport Only-One, Breathless and Blastodon to Kantpoo. Yovord the single-footed Kummanokkinite also came along; with his friend Vin Gasleen deceased, he had no cause to stay on Powurkord any longer.

Kordramil, the current Queen of Kantpoo, was notified that the important personages were coming. Her closest advisors, all women, were interested in EXACTLY WHO was coming. They were all pleased to hear that Dim Jargon and Jared the Black Giraffe WEREN'T coming. Months ago, Dim and Jared had been guilty of easily outperforming Kantpoolian sportswomen on a racetrack.

Happily, Poormee Armadillo-Spacewalker, the widow of Acne-Skin Spacewalker who NEVER DID turn evil, wasn't buying the female chauvinism of her peers. She welcomed Only-One like a cherished elder brother, and for his sake welcomed all of his companions. All of the new arrivals graciously accepted the fact that they would be given a vegan supper. Poormee was knowledgeable about Kummanokkinites, and had the kitchen tech to synthesize appropriate nutrition for Yovord.

Over supper, Poormee's son Duke and daughter Dana chatted freely about their recent activities. In practical training, Dana was doing better with guns, and could perform a Fuss choke; but Duke was otherwise far superior with Fuss talents, and better at piloting air- and spacecraft.

After the twins went to their bedrooms, Blastodon raised the subject of the Quark-Elves' invasion on Powurkord. Extensive discussion ensued, but Poormee knew nothing about it.

Trablo, however, did have something to offer. "Only-One and Breathless have remarked to me that they wondered why Thuglyfe Skrawn HASN'T tried moving against Powurkord. But some of my fellow space merchants may have a clue. You know that your Republic sharing your superior starship technology with the Bubblewrap Coalition has led space traders like me to venture farther abroad than we ever could before. Well, some of my counterparts have reported sightings of warships which seem to match the Imperial Navy. They appear to be establishing a secure supply chain, which extends into a sector fairly close to a well-known Earth-variant. That Earth-variant boasts quite a few high-grade superheroes; therefore Admiral Skrawn wouldn't move against them unless he had appropriate countermeasures on his side.

"And at least one major super-being, called the Silver Surfqueen, is believed to have joined Skrawn's team."
 
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Back on Powurkord, the elected ruling council was facilitating all efforts to improve potential defenses against any return of the Quark-Elves. Part of this was hunting high and low for any additional Harmonicrons which might have been used by the invaders and left behind when they were vanquished. Joza-Varu-Paf, the purple-haired and long-necked Heart Sapphire who was now fully on the side of good, reasoned that since Pree-Pree's discovery had been underwater, any additional artifact might also be submerged.

Being able to create an underwater survival sphere, Joza tried many deep dives with her husband Black Giraffe, who could sense activity with various energies. Many days after Only-One Kanoli's party had left for Kantpoo, during a dive at a colder-temperate latitude of Powurkord, Jared did sense another Harmonicron. Joza brought it along as they returned to land. They showed it to agents of the ruling council, and to several Banjolorians who had come along. Jared eventually prevailed upon the artifact to show him something.

What played was obviously in the past. It showed the Popquizzitor Trillyun Subaru, accompanied by her evil robot Anti-Asimov, meeting with Skrawn in an office. Trillyun was saying to him:

"Your Honor, all down-siders of The Fuss appreciate the respect you show us; and we respect you for your wisdom and leadership skills. Accordingly, some of us offer to try bringing out your own Fuss potential. If you can gain our abilities, you will be that much safer against personal attacks, and will better understand our contribution to the cause of Evil Badness."

When the mystical video concluded, the onlooking Banjolorians expressed their belief that, although a Fuss-powered Thuglyfe Skrawn would not decide the outcome of any war all by himself, such a gain for the Imperial Viceroy certainly would not be GOOD news for the side of light and justice.

What WAS good news, was the arrival of unexpected reinforcements from the Bubblewrap Coalition. A regiment's worth of Mintcandybarri Anphlaktiksok Rangers, in small but well-armed frigates, landed in the Powurkordean capital and offered their services to the governing Heptagor. This would go far to safeguard the planet against a possible end-run strike by the Empire of Evil Badness.

NOW CUT TO ZAZDUB WORLD, FOR CLOSELY RELATED EVENTS.
 
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At the nearly completed Tachyon Loop site, the native officer Colonel Konklag was putting the "Zazdub Musketeers" through an exercise. One of the Green Flashlights, the sloth-like Fojadosh Ludping from Hibloglib, was acting as an evading target. He had his energy shielding up, of course, and the soldiers' rayguns were set at minimum output, to ensure safety for Fojadosh in case thirty or more shots all hit his shield at once.

Meanwhile, Adam and Proxima Straightup were conferring with King Truthside, who asked them: "Have you established access codes to activate the Loop, so that invaders can't use it themselves if they reach this location?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," replied Adam. "With an extra feature. The Loop system will also function for any Green Flashlight who shines his or her artifact energy onto the controls. Just in case all the authorized operators are killed or captured."

"But no one EXCEPT Green Flashlights --and us, and now you-- knows this feature," added Proxima.

"Well done! And call me Preston; I'm a very liberal monarch."

"All right, Preston," said Adam. "Tell me, where did Superdude get to?"

"He and Green Flashlight Mike Deep Swimmer are constructing survival shelters for noncombatants. There's no way to evacuate everybody in the time we probably have, so this is the best we can do."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles was taking a sentry tour beyond the Zazdub system, when Silver Surfqueen, looking for glory, shot out ahead of Skrawn's fleet. As soon as she sighted the hero, she cut loose with an all-purpose generic energy bolt. But it was a GIGANTIC energy bolt, more than Ryan could fend off. With his final strength, he sent a warning to the other four Flashlights, before he was consumed and his soul headed for The Good Place. His power prosthesis flew away to Planet Wawa, where someday it would be given to a new hero.

But Doctor Unusual on Seedubb Earth also knew what had befallen his fellow hero. Bringing with him the bionic hero Blue Junebug, he magicked them both all the way to Zazdub, where they appeared in front of Truthside. Unusual magically MADE Truthside realize that the new arrivals were allies. "We were friends of the Green Flashlight who has died defending this planet; we will carry on for him, and punish his slayers! Assign us where we will be useful!"

Not well suited for outer space, Blue Junebug was detailed to join Black Parakeet and Nonwhite Lightning. Doctor Unusual, able to survive in vacuum by magic, was out to get Silver Surfqueen, and so were Green Flashlights Gramsuli and Zaz-Chispa. Surfqueen, cocky with her initial success, was enroute to blast areas of Zazdub World's surface. But while her quasi-magical power might have prevailed in a head-on collision against actual magic, she couldn't keep up with the subtle changes in Unusual's attack. Only when it was too late did she realize that the sorceror wasn't EXACTLY attacking her; instead, he was DRAWING AWAY her energy, and scattering it. Too late, she realized that she no longer had enough power charge to overcome the defenses of TWO fully-alert Green Flashlights...... let alone fend off THEIR attack.

"You have slain too many persons who deserved life more than you do," exclaimed three voices in her evil head; "but now you have to answer for your crimes!"

Her smugness giving way to fear, Silver Surfqueen found herself..... dying. This shouldn't be happening, SHE should always be the victorious one--! But then she found herself in The Bad Place, where nobody cared about her opinions.

"Maybe we should have kept her alive to question her?" asked Zaz-Chispa belatedly.

"It's all right," replied the Seedubb sorceror. "I extracted from her mind a rough summary of the forces coming behind her. I'll transmit this knowledge to King Truthside's mind. You all have another half hour before they strike."

As soon as Superdude learned the latest news, he took off into space, determined to keep the fighting away from civilians.

But it did after all make a difference that Thuglyfe Skrawn had obtained Fuss talents. He psychically knew that his intended victims were now on guard, and that he had lost Surfqueen. But Duke Terror, Traynrekk the Trampler, and Star Amoeba felt no sense of loss over the demise of the boastful super-being. Star Amoeba was instructed to watch above all for Superdude, while Duke Terror would above all seek to fight King Truthside. Traynrekk would stay close to Skrawn's warships, guarding them against superhero onslaughts.
 
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Superdude was not making himself hard to find. As he streaked beyond the Zazdub star system, he encountered the enemy fleet's forward screen of space fighters. Their beam weapons barraged him furiously-- but not being red, the beams had no effect. The Tonkrypian's hands WERE effective, but as ever were disciplined by his moral code. With every fighter craft he caught, he only disabled its weapons, then pushed it back toward the Imperial fleet.

Unfortunately, as often happens on Original Earth, evildoers being shown mercy, showed no gratitude. Realizing that Superdude would not kill them, additional fighter pilots made runs at the superhero..... keeping him busy non-lethally stopping them, while Star Amoeba closed in on him. This evil space-kaiju usually gave off bioluminescence, but could go dark, becoming nearly undetectable.

Too late, Superdude realized his oversight, as the fluid substance of the Amoeba swept around him. Thuglyfe Skrawn's Fuss intuition showed him the exact instant when he should activate all red-light beacons which would bear on target. The caped metahuman might have been able to escape if the red-light bombardment had not had omnidirectional coverage; but the Amoeba's quasi-protoplasm spread the red light all around him. Utility spaceboats emerged to surround him, and starship maintenance personnel forced the prepared compact red-light emitters down his throat. The composition of the emitters would resist even Tonkrypian digestive enzymes for several days --long enough that Grand Admiral Skrawn to decide whether there was any cause to KEEP Superdude.

Some of Skrawn's senior officers urged him to use the captured superhero openly as a hostage. But Skrawn's Fuss intuition told him that Superdude would rather die than become the cause of a whole planet being enslaved. "Still, if we find the defenders too strong even without the Tonkrypian, we can make him a bargaining chip to be allowed to withdraw."

Trayrekk the Trampler, included in the conversation via short-range radio, told the Viceroy- Admiral, "I respect the value of your intelligence more than Stupid Surfqueen did; but since the Star Amoeba has your ships protected, I recommend that you release me to join Duke Terror in weakening the other side's bargaining position."

"Go ahead. I also respect the value of your combat power."

Mere minutes later, Traynrekk was entering Zazdub atmosphere. Sighting what appeared to be an emergency shelter for civilians, he laughed and began a strafing run. But he was in for a surprise.

A dark-skinned woman, abnormally tall but clearly human, fired a shoulder-launched rocket at him. Sneering with contempt, the cosmic villain unleashed double blasts in her direction, one of these incidentally wiping out the rocket. But he didn't understand that Whiskey Dallas merely wanted to draw his fire-- so that he would waste it on her indestructible body. Indestructible while she was singing, and of course Whiskey was singing. Traynrekk knew nothing about the wife of King Truthside, so he didn't know that it was her pre-planned role to divert enemy firepower.

Neither did he know that Preston "Truthside" Vincent was keeping a clairvoyant watch over his wife, just in case any mishap interrupted her singing and rendered her vulnerable. A complete stranger to love in any form, the destroyer of innocent beings received his first and last lesson when Truthside popped out of a hole in space, grabbed him, and tore his head off.

But Duke Terror was yet to be dealt with; Superdude still was helpless; and the hundreds of "ordinary" space warships were now in range to shower the target world with beams and missiles. Doctor Unusual, Blue Junebug, and the four surviving Green Flashlights could not retaliate at all, because it was all they could do to save lives of Zazdub civilians under fire. Nonwhite Lightning and Black Parakeet, still stationed with Blue Junebug as he warded off enemy shots, were frankly pleased when one of the first troop- delivery shuttles landed close to their post.

The Imperial troops were not hopelessly poor shots like in so many films; but having witnessed how little these invaders cared for innocent lives, the young super-couple cared even less to give them anything like fair play. Before one enemy soldier could disembark from the transport, Parakeet was demonstrating that SOUND VIBRATIONS could pass through the hull. Deafened and stunned, the invaders found the hatch-opening mechanism also disabled. With no enemy fire now hitting this location, Junebug rallied the strength to force the door open. Lightning was right behind him, thrust one arm through the opening, and electrocuted everyone inside.

Colonel Konklag and the Zazdub Musketeers had their chance to demonstrate that what they carried was much more potent than literal muskets. Defending the Tachyon Loop installation, their massed raygun fire damaged two landing craft which were trying to capture the location. This objective being of special interest, Duke Terror himself appeared there, and cut loose with his own energy barrage. He slew Konklag and more than half of his regiment, AND slew the brave pair Adam and Proxima who were also defending the site. But the Straightups left children who would carry on their tradition of bravery. Here and now, the surviving Zazdub Musketeers maintained their discipline and kept shooting. Even Duke Terror could not absorb so much beam fire completely unscathed; he decided to let the Imperial Army pick up the slack.

A hard-striking green beam from the sloth-shaped Green Flashlight reinforced Terror's decision to command from the rear. But there still wasn't much the good guys could do to go on the offensive overall; too many noncombatants were still in peril.
 
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After stinging Duke Terror, Fojadosh Ludpid went back to shielding intended victims of the invaders as much as he could. Eventually, Flynn Omega and Wiley Hightrail joined him in their two-seat Smite Fighter. Flying beneath his protective energy field, they delivered angled shots to damage the weapon mounts on aggressor craft.

When fuel depletion forced the Smite Fighter to land, the two men had the bad luck to find themselves within sight of General Phastlane. The macho woman barked at her nearby troops, "Those traitors are mine!" She fried Wiley's head with her laser pistol-- but she didn't live to boast of it. Flynn had jumped out holding a grenade launcher, and fired a perfect shot at Phastlane's head in reply. Her helmet was not ruptured, but the concussion turned her evil brain into mush. The astonishment of her soldiers, who had regarded her as indestructible, enabled Flynn to run for cover.

Golden Rakshasa and the antlered speedster Exohern were at a duty station of their own, with solid fortifications from which to shoot at the enemy. The American and Indian metahumans did as Whiskey Dallas Vincent had done, drawing enemy fire away from civilians. Exohern was fast enough actually to evade blasts which would have slain him, whereas Rakshasa could survive three or four direct hits before she needed to get back to shelter. Alongside a native seaport, meanwhile, Howie Maui and Black Stingray wielded waterproof rayguns, diving underwater and surfacing again to snipe at the abundant supply of hostile contacts.

Elsewhere, Kuparr Daku the Dreamtime Chieftain, surrounded by his Native Ostralian huntsmen also in defensive positions, was using his own magic to the best possible effect. He could not deflect bullets or beams, but his power could reach across more than a kilometer's radius to HEAL INJURIES. Though spreading his power thin, he could render all but the most instantly fatal wounds survivable. Every casualty touched by his life-strengthening spells would have a better than even chance of complete recovery, absent any new critical injury.

We remind the reader that, when Preston Vincent was given the cumulative powers of Twerpseid and other major villains, Twerpseid's destroying eye-beams were altered into beams which would non-fatally incapacitate enemies-- or, alternately, HEAL diseases and wounds. He had progressed so far that he could simply THINK OF a desired class of target, and let the beams do their work. (Since the beams were NOT meant to kill, there was less worry about them running wild.) Now he attained a still higher improvement. While simultaneously able to see his surroundings as normal, now he was also firing stun beams with one eye while firing curative beams from the other. Each type found appropriate targets.

Super-powered or not, all defenders of Zazdub World were performing superbly; but with Superdude out of action, the sheer numbers of attackers were preventing the collective good guys from going on the offensive.

The Janitors of the Universe, however, were not the Janitors of the Universe for nothing. Already aware of Ryan Pebbles' gallant end, they dispatched reinforcements by their swiftest means. A squadron of over twenty Green Flashlights descended on Thuglyfe Skrawn's fleet, including three whom we've seen earlier: the block-shaped Poradsimu, the baboon-like Jamsorvad, and the human Lucy Luminous.

Even this many Flashlights could not simply wipe out the aggressor force; but they did put the evil space navy on the defensive at last. While the Flashlight Corps was pushing back the Imperials-- and breaking the enfeebled Superdude loose from the Star Amoeba's grasp-- heroes on the planet went into search and rescue mode.
 
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Superdude was delirious, unsure where he was. Dreamtime Chieftain with his spirit powers, and Whiskey Dallas with her supportive singing, were mending damage to his body; but it was as if an ordinary man was healed. He himself was unaware of the red-light emitters resting in his stomach, and his caregivers didn't know to look for them.

The first coherent words Corky Klint uttered were: "Am I on the planet? Is the planet safe?"

"Yes, and almost," the Ostralian shaman replied.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Being able to vanish at any time, and still ego-hurt by previously being chased away from Chimpanzia, Duke Terror didn't want to escape without slaying Truthside if he could. Not only pride was at stake, but ambition even more. If he could slay Preston Vincent, with some of those tentacled Awkwardlispian technicians as eyewitnesses, he would be in the running to assume the rule of that formerly toxic world. If Truthside proved too hard an adversary, Terror still could flee.

It began with skirmishing, exchanging beam attacks which each titanic fighter either evaded or simply shrugged off. Next came hitting each other with multi-ton boulders, which proceeded similarly to the energy duel. This much filled an hour. Then they moved along to punching, kicking, biting and wrestling. This, for another TWO hours. Terror being isolated, with none of his partisans present to aid him, all good guys were on their honor not to assist Preston in any way.

Struggling, rolling, choking, body-slamming each other, hitting and kicking, eventually resuming mutual beam attacks, they fought and fought and fought. A clear advantage had not yet emerged-- when Duke Terror suddenly decided that this grudge fight wasn't worth it.

Then he was gone, leaving Zazdub World in need of cleanup, medical service, and mass funerals for the dead.

But Doctor Unusual wasn't satisfied. And he could overtake the thwarted invaders.

Thuglyfe Skrawn was in his admiral's-flagship cabin, regretting the loss of General Phastlane but imagining he got off clean, when the Sorceror of Seedubb materialized in front of his desk.

"I am one of the defenders of the planet you have devastated. You have oceans of blood on your hands. I never kill if I can avoid it, but you are NOW stripped of your power and authority. I will take you back to Zazdub World, to spend the rest of your life at forced labor. Moreover, I am sorcerously assimilating as much information as I can extract from your top-secret strategy databanks. I will share this with Fuss Master Yoga-Rug, who will provide it to the whole Up-Side Fellowship, to the Republic of Lots of Worlds, to the Bubblewrap Coalition which is friendly with the Republic, and to the Earth-variants which sent their own superheroes to help defend Zazdub World.

"Need I add that you have now put yourself on the enemies list of the entire Green Flashlight Corps?

"Your Empire of Evil Badness just got its neck laid on the chopping block."
 
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