100 Reasons Why Santa Claus Should Be Arrested

5. For sounding like Jesus, and therefore confusing young children. :mad: (He knows if you've been bad or good...." Seriously, they make Santa out to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omni... whatever the third one is.)

6. For causing parents to LIE to their children by telling them that he is real.

7. For being in so many malls on the same day at the same time!
 
10) Closely related to Item 6 by Miss Reepicheep: Santa Claus is guilty of negligence with respect to the former Soviet Union. In the Soviet era, children were told at New Year's parties to look for the coming of a character called Grandfather Frost, who had NO connection at all to any faith in God. Excuse-makers for the Soviet system have long claimed that Grandfather Frost was "exactly the same thing" as Saint Nicholas; and by NOT publicly contradicting this claim, Santa Claus is guilty of complicity by omission in the reinforcement of a Christ-less holiday approach.
 
Miss Reep and Copper, please let's not drag down the lighthearted joke with a debate about keeping Christ in Christmas...

You want to arrest the bloke? He's travelling around the world with eight members of the family Cervidae despite the travel bans on moving them in and out of areas with Chronic Wasting Disease. Do you realize that livestock that climb on your roof after it's come into contact with infected reindeer could get sick?? Where are his health certificates?? Till we take this Kris Kringle into custody I suggest you prevent sheep and cows from climbing your house. Use a fence if necessary.
 
12. For discouraging positive self-esteem in free-minded children.
13. For distributing non-renewable resources (i.e., coal) to said free-minded children.
 
Sorry, I wasn't trying to turn this into a debate.

14. For allowing his reindeer to tease and poke fun at each other. He ought to keep them in better line.

15. For tracking soot on peoples carpets after he comes down the chimney.

16. For giving more/nicer gifts to children with wealthy parents, and less to children with parents who are financially struggling. Shouldn't Santa be equal to all?!
 
17. For leaving reindeer poop on the roof. Especially bad if you have solar panels or a sunroof. I wonder if that's why they're prancing and pawing....
 
18. He don't give gifts to the old people.
19. He don't like kids.
20. He don't have money to buy gifts for people.
21. He let kids wish 100 times before they can get their presents!:D
22. He donated his reindeers just to buy a chocolates for himself.
23. He fart alot in public. (It really smells like chocolate.:p)
24. He don't have a licence to drive his reindeers.
25. He said "Merry Twinklemas" instead of "Merry Christmas".
26. He don't like "Narnia"
27. He banned people out.:mad:
28. He likes to eat by himself and not share.:(
29. He eat's people cookies without permission.
30. He stole the president of the US.
 
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What?! So now we want to arrest an innocent old man who represents the best that philanthropy has ever offered? *sigh* How the mighty are fallen.

31. For repeated yearly violations of D.C. protected air space.
32. For neglecting to give the elves in his employ any sick leave. (Christmas rush is right in cold season.)
33. For setting up a public health hazard as elves cough and sneeze all over toys that are transported all over the world.
 
34. Considering that he does not age, crossing a state line with gifts for immortal purposes.
 
36. He causes mass headaches by dressing almost completely in red.
37. He gives weapons to minors, at least in Narnia.
38. He's probably a quadruple agent of some sort with as many aliases as he uses.
 
There is no further need for this thread. The District Attorney has quite enough on Kris Kringle (a.k.a. Santa Claus) to put him away for a nice long time....

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