Funny Stories

Olórin the Wise

Olórin the Wise

New member
I thought it might be fun to start a thread in which everybody can post true, funny stories that they have witnessed or have been involved in. I'll start.

It's about 1:00 in the morning. I wake to hear my younger brother (whom I'll call Jake in this story even though it's not his name) tossing and turning in his bunk above mine. Finally, I get sick of it.

Me: Jake?

Jake: (sleepily)Yeah?

Me: What are you doing?

Jake: I'm looking for something.

Me: Looking for what?

Jake: Darts.

Me: (puzzled) Darts for what?

Jake: ...

Me: Jake?

Jake: Yeah?

Me: What are the darts for?

Jake: ...

Me: Jake? Why aren't you answering me?

A short pause, then:

Jake: It's really hard to discuss.
 
Here's one involving strong attempts to get the two-year-old sister to eat the healthful portions of her dinner...including peas... :eek:
Mom is desperately trying to convince her that if she eats ONE spoonful of peas, she can have something more appetizing. We've tried all sorts of things - the whole family took a simultaneous spoonful to set a good example (call it peer pressure), etc. etc. etc. Mom is holding out the spoonful of peas to Baby, who says by way of evasion, "there's poison on it!" At this point, the rest of the family nearly cracks up, which must not happen, since that will just encourage her little majesty's plots... Mom tries again to feed the baby. "Just eat one spoonful. See? Everyone else will eat one too! Let's all do it at the same time!"
The baby develops another possible evasion..."I'll watch." Do you blame certain people for cracking up? I don't remember whether the spoonful of peas succeeded or not, but if it did, it wasn't for lack of imaginations and trying on the side of the young lady in question!:D
 
this invloves my friends bad hearing, lol

okay my friend and I are watching this movie at her house...it had a really cool scene in it that I wished I could have been part of And I said
me: I wish I had a part in this movie
my friend gives me this look like I had just said the craziest thing in the world
friend: what did you say?
puzzled I said : I said, 'I...wish...I...had...a...part...in...this...movie'
friend: oooh I thought you said 'I wish I had a portable smoothie'
me:....
me: *bursts out laughing*
 
I once had to sleep in the car with my whole family (5 people)
We were on our way back from a vacation in Wales, and we were looking for a place where we could sleep. We started looking in Canterbury, then drove around for three hours and enden up in Haistings, with still nowhere to sleep. We just parked the car somewhere on a parking, and tried to sleep. It wasn't very comfortable, but it left us a nice story to tell... The next morning we were so tired that my dad accidentally started driving on the wrong side of the road (in Belgium we drive right, in the UK it's left).
I was like: "uhm, dad, i don't know if you realise it, but you should be driving left right now..."
We still got home safely (but tired)
 
Our school has this really bad sewage problem...the bathrooms just start smelling really bad all of the sudden with no warning. So, we're in the middle of class and we smell the worst smell you can even imagine. And everyone's eyes are all watering and they're covering their noses. But our teacher continues with the lesson....then, she starts coughing and gagging and what not. So she makes one of the boys go out and run the water in the bathroom. (it's some how fixes it) So that was over, but then we had an assembly later in the day and we had a guest speaker come. They're in the middle of their presentation, and I smell something and think to myself "Oh no...." The people were very old war veterans, you want to try to put a good impression on them. Well, I just watch them the whole time to see if they can smell it too. They start coughing like crazy, but they don't say anything. Then finally, our prinicipal jumps out of her seat and runs to the bathroom to run the water. The veterans finally say "Oh thank goodness for her, she's a true hero"
 
Little sister playing with her toothbrushes (yes, she did that. Spoons, knives and forks, too. One in each hand.)

Toothbrush 1: "Hello"
Toothbrush 2: "Hello"
Tooth 1: "I'm going to kill you."
Tooth 2: "But I don't want you to."
Tooth 1: "It won't hurt."
Tooth 2: "But I have to play!"
Tooth 1: "All right, I will be your mommy."
Tooth 2: "No! I want to be your mommy, hmp, hmp."
Tooth 1: "You can't be, silly. I guess I'll just kill you, bam, you're dead."

Vicious little girl, eh? :p
 
Wow those stories are hilarious

The following is a regular thing that happens when my aunt calls

My aunt: Hello
Me: Hi
Aunt: Is this Finni (my brother)
Me: No
Aunt: Is this G. (my sister)
Me: No
Aunt: Is this Anna
Me: Yes!
Aunt: You kids all sound so alike :rolleyes:
 
Gabbie: would you happen to have any potassium nitrate?
Me: Umm, no, I don't generally carry explosive chemicals around. why?
Gabbie: It's uhh, well it's a really complicated, umm, thing. Very hard to explain.
Me: What?
Gabbie: Do you know where I could get some potassium nitrate?
Me: Well, it's in most brands of stump remover....
Gabbie: How did you figure that out?
Me: long story..
Gabbie: I lost the game.
Me: I lost the Game. Now, why do you need potassium nitrate?
Gabbie: .....

And the conversation went on like that
 
UGGH! This is what my older brother does EVERY time I answer the phone and it's him.

Steve: Hey, what time does mom get home?

me: 5

Steve: kool, so what are you doing?

me: watching TV

Steve: What's Emmy doing?

me:..............

Steve: Fred?

me: This is Emmy.....

Steve: Oh, so what's Fred doing?:rolleyes:

I used different names for obvious reasons
 
This is from my missions trip... names have been changed to protect the innocent

Me (talking to my friend Leah): So anyway, blah blah blah…
Leah: Yeah! Haha! Did you hear about the story about such-and-such….
My friend Mia: LILA!!! GUESS WHAT!! Steve hates you!
Me: Whatever. So anyway, what were you saying Leah?
Steve: LILA!!! I DON’T HATE YOU!!! Forget everything I said! *hugs me*
Me: What the heck?!?!?! What is this all about?!?!
Leah: ….
Mia: …..
Steve: *runs away*

~~~

This one is about later that evening… I think… it was during this foot washing service we had that was very dramatic

Me: *sobs*
Adult Leaders: *hug me*
Leah (Surrounded by friends): *sobs even harder than me*
Steve: *sobbing* I have to go hug Lila…
My friend Janice: …
Steve: *hugs me* GROUP HUG!!!
All my friends: *SOBBING* YAY!!! *BIG HUG*
Me (thinking): What’s with all the hugs?!?!
 
My little boy cousin (he's so cute!) of four years old was sitting on my lap
He: What's that? *points at place on my T-shirt*
Me: Uhm, it's a T-shirt with, uhm, a globe on it, I guess...
He: No, no, beneath it!
Me: *gets read*
Me: Ow! You should ask your mum about that...
 
We were discussing danish at work
Me~Oh there was this boy in the camp on lats course which counted in danish, it was so adorable all like:
Me~ein, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs sieben, acht, neun, zehn
My work-colleagues~Um..that was german

And just before

Work-colleague 1~How long does it take to fly from Frankfurt to Serbia
Me~Well..it depends on where in Europe Serbia is

I was so embarrased at work today :rolleyes:
 
my brothers excuse for beating me up (like all big brothers do)
me: aaaah! ow!
mom: quit picking on your sister
Ian: I'm not picking on her, I'm teaching her self-defence.
 
pink-cheetah said:
^ROFL!! That's cute. :D
Click to expand...
Yeah, it is! But now my other cousin (girl) is in that fase too. She says things like this all the time. And she asks every boy she meets if he really has the boy thing (if you know what I mean). But she pronounces it wrong, so it sounds even more adorable.
 
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