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[tolkienlewisfan]

I hope I put this in the right place. This is a story I'm writing and I would like some feedback on it. If you have any please pm me. Thanks
“Bye Mom. The Bus is here,” I yelled.
“Bye sweetie, I’ll see you later,” Mom answered.
I ran out to the bus and hopped in. “Hi, Ted” I said to the driver. He waved to me as I passed him to get to my seat. I started to look for my friend, Abigail Smith, when I heard my name called.
“Lizzie over here.” I turned to see Abby waving to me.
“Hey, Abby. How are you doing on this fine Monday morning?” I asked.
“As good as anyone starting a new week of school. And you?”
“Oh, fine. I didn’t sleep real well last night though.”
“Ooo. You scared that creepy tormentors are gonna get you today at school?” Abby teased.
“Oh, Ha, Ha. You’re picked on just as much as I am and you know I really don’t care about what Mike and the other guys think.”
“I know and I don’t either. Well let’s get ready to face another day with Mr. I’m So Wonderful and his gang.”
“Okay. Please God help me keep my temper.”

As you may have picked up by now school was not the most enjoyable time for my friends and I. We were the nerdy group. We were picked on for no particular reason, not that it really bothered us. You may have also picked up that my name is Elizabeth. To be exact it’s Elizabeth Anne Hill. One reason I was picked on was my name. Because of my nickname, “Lizzie” people walked around calling me lizard or iguana. In addition, if you put my two last names together it sounds like anthill. Funny, huh? Not for a 15 year old girl like me.
I was also called four eyes because I had glasses (though this was probably one of the names that I cared about least). Other than my glasses, I wasn’t bad looking and they, I thought, complemented my eyes, which were blue with slight flecks of green in them. I had red hair that was so dark that sometimes it looked brown. I was also tall for my age with long legs. I didn’t have a tan complexion, though I wasn’t exactly pale, and had a few freckles on my nose. My teeth were straight, having just had my braces taken off two months ago, just a couple days before school started. Overall, I wasn’t too ugly, although I didn’t think so at the time.
I was on my way to lunch with Abby, her blonde hair rippling behind her, books in her arms, and as we turned the corner, we saw an unpleasant sight. Mike and his gang were waiting for us.
“Hey, Lizzie what are the reptiles up to today? Are you having cheeseburger and flies for lunch?” one of them called.
“You know, Mike, those jokes are getting really old,” I called back. Once we were in the lunchroom, we sat down with Amanda Miller, a brunette with shoulder length hair and braces (slightly less of a nerd than the rest of us and she didn‘t take the teasing as well), and Matt Kent, a tall and athletic looking boy with jet-black hair and dark brown eyes. We called ourselves the “gang” because we were always together. We were the out crowd. The nerds. The kids who were picked on all the time, but we didn’t care.
The lunchroom was always crowded and noisy, but it was perfect for having a good conversation. You could still hear each other without yelling, but it was less likely to be over heard.

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

“So,” Matt started, “What did you guys think of Social Studies today?” It was our least favorite class. Our teacher, Mr. Taylor, made more fun of us because we were Christians than he did actually teaching (another one of our lovely nicknames was “Jesus Freaks“, although we didn‘t mind this one so much). Either that or stating his opinions on life just to annoy us. Today he announced that he was a firm believer that there is no right or wrong and that man can set his own standards.
“You must believe this; you must make your own right and wrong,” he had said.
Matt retorted with, “If we can say what is right or wrong than I can say that you’re wrong by saying that we can choose, and you insist we should choose our own ideals, but you’re trying to force your ideals onto us.” Mr. Taylor wasn’t happy about that.
“You did a great job, Matt,” I said appreciatively. Matt was probably my best friend. We got along well, he was kind, loyal, gave wise council, and it just seemed to cheer me up to be around him.
“Thanks Lizzie,” he said with part of a BLT sandwich in his mouth. We never really bothered with table manners around each other. Nobody minded. He swallowed and said, “We should probably get a move on with our science project if we want to get it done by Thursday.” It wasn’t due until Friday, but we all wanted to go out Thursday night and needed to have it done.
“What should we do it about?” asked Amanda.
“Well,” I started, “We’re supposed to pick a popular topic and prove it wrong, or at least try to prove it wrong,” I said with a chuckle in between bites of my spaghetti.
“How about the Java man theory?” Amanda suggested.
“Nah,” I answered. “We’ve already argued that one in class.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Abby. “I’ve got a great idea! You know the idea coming in again that people who are raised away from worldly things are practically perfect, and if you’re raised in the world it makes you more corrupt. And that criminals can’t really help being bad because the world is making them do things. We can prove that wrong.”
“Great idea, but we need an example of that person,” I pointed out.
“How about that new guy that just got put in jail?” suggested Amanda. “I think his name’s Christopher Benson.”
“Why him?” Matt asked.
“I read a report on him that said he was almost always kept at home, not because his parents were mean. They were just trying to protect him. Look where he ended up.”
“That’s a great idea,” I said.
“Alright. Well, let’s divvy up the duties,” said Matt. We had sort of elected him to be in charge of our group reports. He was a born leader, not bossy just simply good at being in charge. “Amanda, since you came up with the Christopher Benson idea you’ll be in charge of gathering information about him. Abby, you’re easily the best writer, so when it comes time to actually put our report on paper you’ll be head of that department. Lizzie and I’ll do the actual talking in front of everyone. I think that’s it. Oh, wait! Someone has to research the theory itself. Why don’t we all do that so we all have a pretty good idea about it?” We all murmured our agreement and decided that by tomorrow afternoon we would have the research finished and would complete the writing tomorrow night at my house. That would leave us plenty of time on Wednesday before Youth Group for Matt and me to practice our arguments and speeches. We never had any homework on Thursday so we’d have that whole afternoon to go out.
“Are you sure your mom and dad won’t mind having us over tomorrow?” Amanda asked me.
“Of course, although they have been acting a little weird lately, but I’m sure they’ll be fine with the idea. I‘ll call all of you tonight to let you know for sure.”
“We’d better be off to Sign Language or we’ll be late,” pointed out Matt. It was our favorite class, but that made perfect sense because it was considered the nerd’s class. We all picked up our books and headed out, ignoring the jeers we got on the way.
I wasn’t a bad student. I mostly got As and Bs in school, but I was easily the best at Sign Language. I really enjoyed it and even got the highest grades in the whole class. We’d taken Sign for two other years and the gang and I volunteered to help teach the classes for the hearing and sight impaired kids at school. They took place after regular classes. I wasn’t sure why God had gifted me with being naturally good at signing, but I soon found out.

As soon as I got home, I asked to make sure that it would be all right for the gang to come over the following night. There weren’t any classes to help with that night so my parents agreed with enthusiasm and I ran off to call my friends right away. We all decided to just get off the bus at my house and I invited them to stay for supper. Matt could stay, but Abby and Amanda had family outings planned for that night. When I had hung up, I went to finish the Vocabulary assignment for the day. Matt and I would work on the rest tomorrow night. He was really good at Math and I was good at English so we helped each other out.
That night a got a surprise that would change my life. My parents and I sat down around the table getting ready to eat one of the spectacular dinners Mom always made. She was slender with dark brown hair and dark blue eyes.
“Anna you’ve really outdone yourself this time,” Dad said talking to Mom. His name was Adam and he was built quite differently than Mom. He was tall, but broad and muscular. He had bright red hair and green eyes that sparkled as though all was right with the world. Tonight for dinner, we were having chicken casserole, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and fresh baked bread. Every thing smelt heavenly and I could tell that Dad, like me, couldn’t wait to start eating.
“Come on. Let’s pray then dig in to this feast we have.” We bowed our heads and I put my hands into my lap. “Dear Heavenly Father,” Dad began, “We thank you so much for this meal which you have provided for us and pray that we would spend the rest of the night glorifying your holy name. I Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”
“Amen,” Mom and I echoed. Then we began eating. The food was delicious as always. We talked about how school went that day and how Dad’s work had gone. He was a pediatrician, which was great for me to have my Dad as my doctor.
“Eliza, we have something to tell you,” Mom said as she glanced at Dad. (They usually called me “Eliza.” “Lizzie” was my friends name for me.) “We’ve decided to adopt a boy that we feel the Lord has led us to.” This news took me completely by surprise.
“A- a boy?” I stammered. “So I’ll be an older sister?” I asked.
“Well,” said Dad, “No. His name is Jeremy and he’s sixteen and a half years old, but he’ll be in the same grade as you because his last foster parents he was with completely neglected his school.”
“Have you ever met him?” I asked.
“No. At the moment he’s in Washington D.C. Friends that we have there, that are in the foster system, told us about him and we’ve been praying about it for two months. If he doesn’t find a home soon he’ll be into an orphanage, which is where we don’t want him to go,” Mom explained. “Are you going to be okay with having an older brother?”
“Mom this is great!” I answered excited. “I’ve always wanted a brother or sister. When is he coming?”
Dad and Mom looked relieved that I was taking the news so well. “Probably next Friday night. He’ll be dropped off by a social worker who’ll have all the official papers ready,” Dad answered. “Eliza we’re so proud you’re taking it this way. We were worried you wouldn’t approve at first. Jeremy’ll be in the guest room next to yours.”
“Oh, when can I tell the gang?” I asked anxiously.
“Tomorrow if you like”
“Tomorrow night,” I said. “I want to tell Matt first.”
“Alright, but now missy, it’s time to do the dishes. It was my turn last night and now it’s yours.” Dad said. I jumped up, kissed both him and Mom, and picked up the dirty dishes. Humming I carried them to the sink.
I hated washing the dishes normally, but tonight I didn’t mind one bit. It gave me time to daydream on my own for a little while. I thought about what Jeremy would be like, how the gang would take the news, and what good times we’d have together.
That evening we gathered for our nightly Bible study, tonight we started John 1. I could barely pay attention to the lesson and when we watched a movie that night, I don’t even think I heard most of it. I was too excited. I couldn’t wait to tell the gang.
In bed that night I prayed, “Dear Lord, Thank you so much for all that I have. You give me so many blessings and keep on giving. I thank You that Jeremy is coming to our house and pray that we would become close friends and siblings. I pray that I could be a blessing in his life and that he would be happy here with us. Thank You again that he’s coming and in Your name I pray, Amen.” I crawled into bed and daydreamed some more until I fell asleep.

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

The next morning on the bus I did my very best to keep the news a secret, though it wasn’t easy. I wanted Matt to know first. I knew he would be glad about it not only for my sake, but for his own too. He liked us girls and all, but I sometimes felt like he would enjoy having another boy in the gang. All that day I had to battle not telling anyone and it was horrible to answer when people asked what I was smiling about. Several times Matt saved me by saying, “This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it,” or “With such a beautiful day who could help, but smile.”
I loved Matt. As a friend. He knew I had something to tell, but didn’t ask me about it. Even if he didn’t know the reason he knew that I had a secret and didn’t really want anyone else to know it yet. He also knew that he would probably be the first one to find out. So he waited patiently until later.
My house was the last house on the stop. When we got there we immediately started to work so we’d have plenty of time before Abby and Amanda had to leave. We’d all done our research and started the writing, which, if you’ll remember, Abby was in charge of. We were all sitting around my room. Abby was at my desk and Matt, Amanda and I were on my bed.
In a report where you’re trying to prove something, it’s always good to include quotes by famous people in it. “Well, what about ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,’” Amanda suggested.
“Yeah,” Abby joined in.
“No,” Matt said.
“Why,” asked Abby and Amanda at the same time, but I knew what he was thinking.
“That would be fine to use if we were reading this at church, but as it is it’s not going to do us much good if the people we’re talking to believe the Bible is false anyway,” he explained. The other girls nodded their heads in agreement. We finally decided on a quote to use.
“It probably doesn’t matter anyway,” I said. “Most of our projects end up turning into arguments with Mrs. Jackson.”
“That’s true,” agreed Matt, “but it can’t hurt to have it ready just in case.” So we worked on putting together our paper and decided to meet at Matt’s house tomorrow to practice the actual presentation. Abby and Amanda left at about five o’clock and I knew Mom was planning to have dinner ready at five thirty. As soon as the girls left, Matt and I went back up to my room. As soon as we were inside, he started at me, proving me right. He knew I had some sort of surprise.
“Well, Lizzie,” he said pointing at me, “I know you’ve been dying to tell me something so out with it now before you explode.”
“Oh, Matt it’s so exciting,” I said. “Mom and Dad are going to adopt a sixteen year old boy.” It was all I could do to keep from shouting it.
“Wow! That’s so awesome. Congratulations. When’s he coming?”
“Next Friday.”
“Are you nervous?”
“A little, but I’m anxious more than anything. His name is Jeremy and even though he should be a grade ahead of us he’s going to be in our classes.”
“Wow it’ll be great to have another member of the gang.”
“Matt if he feels at home and comfortable next Friday night I would like to invite you over to supper again.”
“That would be great. I’d love to meet him.”
“It’s five twenty-five we’d better go down and get ready for supper.” I went over and hugged Matt. “I’m glad you’re excited about him too, Matt.
“Of course. Did you think I wouldn’t be?” he asked patting my back.
“No,” I replied letting go of him and wiping tears from my eyes, “it just helps to know for sure.” Then we walked down for supper.
Mom made pot roast, baked potatoes and yeast rolls. In addition, since it was a special occasion we had cherry pie, Matt’s favorite dessert.
“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hill. Lizzie told me your exciting news,” Matt said during the meal.
“Thank you, dear,” Mom said.
“I told him that if Jeremy was settled in by Friday night he could come over to meet him,” I said.
“Of course,” said Dad. “Jeremy would probably love to meet you.”
“I’ll ask my parents if it’ll be alright,” Matt said. I could tell, despite his calm tone, that he was almost as excited as I was. We finished the meal and we always did the dishes before dessert.
“I’ll do the dishes tonight Dad,” I offered. He had a bad back and I could tell it was bothering him. Dad and I decided that since Mom made the food that one of us would always do the dishes. “And I bet if Matt dried them we could get them done in no time,” I continued. You may think it rude that I would volunteer my friend and guest to do the dishes with me, but I knew he wouldn’t mind and it would give us more time to talk.
“I think I’ll take you up on that offer,” Dad replied. “And maybe if I’m extra good I could merit a massage from a certain daughter I know.”
“Sure Dad, but only if you’re extra good,” I teased.
As Matt and I washed the dishes, we talked about many of the things I thought about the night before. Father came in later to check on us.
“About finished?” he asked.
“Yep just the silverware left now,” I responded.
“So what are you kids planning to do tonight?”
“We thought we’d work on our homework then play that new movie trivia game I got or maybe watch a movie,” Matt answered.
“I see,” Dad said. “Would you two mind if Anna and I joined you? In everything, but the homework,” he added.
“Not at all,” Matt and I answered at the same time. With each other’s help we were done in no time and were soon playing with Mom and Dad. We played kids verses adults and Matt and I won twice. During the beginning of our movie, I gave Dad his massage and then we ate our pie, we had two servings. At nine o’clock Matt’s parents picked him up. I said bye then went up to bed.

The next day I told the gang about Jeremy as soon as I got on the bus. They were all excited and we planned the first places we would take Jeremy to when he was settled in. Unfortunately, Mike overheard us.
“So, there’s gonna be another geek in the dweeb squad is there?” I was furious with Mike and was just about to respond when Amanda beat me to the punch.
“Oh, Mike sometimes I just wish you’d keep your mouth shut,” she said. “Or really all the time.”
“Looks like brace face is getting angry. I’m amazed you could come up with a retort without thinking about it for a good ten minutes.” Amanda hid her face and cried. It was true she wasn’t the smartest kid in the world, and she did have a lot of trouble at school, but she wasn’t stupid. She just didn’t seem to grasp the concepts like the rest of us. I put my arm around her and whispered, “Don’t listen to them. Mike’s just mad cause you came up with a really good retort.” She just nodded her head and turned away. She was sensitive and hated to be made fun of.
At lunch that day, we still couldn’t cheer her up. She didn’t really talk to any of us that day at school. At Matt’s house, we got her to open up a bit when she was suggesting things we could say, and afterwards when we were playing with Sylvia and Robert, Matt‘s twin siblings. I thought we would do reasonably well if I managed to keep my temper.
That night at Youth Group Amanda was still really down, but we just let it go. Even the next day she hadn’t really changed except that with each taunt from Mike and his crowd she seemed even more down in the dumps.
Amanda decided to stay home from our outing so it was just Abby, Matt, and me. We went go to the ice cream shop where I got a delicious hot fudge sundae.
“So, what do you think is up with Amanda?” Abby asked, playing with a cherry on her banana split.
“She’s probably just stressed out,” I replied.
“But by what?” continued Abby.
“Any number of things,” Matt put in. “Could be school, Mike, or she could be having problems with her family at home.” Amanda had two parents and four siblings, three brothers and one sister, none of them saved.
“On the other hand it could be none of those things at all,” I said. The other two nodded.
“Do we confront her and ask her what’s going on or completely ignore the situation?” said Abby.
“Neither,” answered Matt. “We don’t ask what’s wrong until she’s ready to tell us without being asked, but we don’t just pretend nothing’s happened.” He took a big sip of his malt and I used the opportunity to say something.
“Right, we have to show her that we’re still with her no matter what happens. We have to be supportive and express our willingness to help her through this. Remember she doesn‘t have very supportive Christian parents like we do. We’re one of her only means of support.” I said. Amanda was a new believer. She had just accepted Christ as her savior not even two years ago.
“I agree,” said Matt, “but are we going to spend the rest of the night worrying about it or enjoy our treat?” Now we couldn’t argue with that. We went to the bowling alley after and, predictably, Matt won.

 

[adisney]

Amazing story! I like where its going.
9/10

 

[Queen Artemis Of Narnia]

WOW! I love this fic! You have quite a way with blending a lot of typical situations that any girl would go through and you put it in the eyes of a nerd, which I think is the smartest thing you could ever do for a fic....

I hereby give this fic a 10/10

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

The next day in science class Matt and I got ready for our report. I was a little nervous, but not much. Matt was easily the best at science in our class. When we got to class we had a surprise waiting for us. There was a man and woman there. The woman, who was slightly chubby, but pleasant looking was holding a clipboard. The man, who was not so pleasant looking, was sitting at the teacher’s desk. As we sat down, most of the class was curiously, but rudely staring at the strange pair, when we discovered why they were there.
“Class,” Mrs. Jackson started, “Miss Scott and Mr. Morgan are here today to observe the class. They’re from the High School Debate Organization and are trying to find good speakers for the team. Hopefully we won’t need to show them an example of debate here in class,” she seemed to be looking at the gang and me as she said this, “they’re only looking for those with potential.” she concluded. This made me a bit more nervous. I looked over at Matt and he gave me a reassuring smile and winked at me. I was a little comforted by this.
It turns out that we were the last group to go. As each group went up Miss Scott wrote everyone’s names down and as they went through their presentation she wrote notes, I assumed, about who had “potential” and who didn’t.
It was finally our turn. Matt started out great and I did my part. We had just finished when Mrs. Jackson stood up and said, “I hope you all are old enough now to decide for yourself what is right and not be fooled by the narrow minded beliefs of others.”
“Meaning what?” Miss Scott asked.
“Meaning that there are some students in this class who never learn what they‘re repeatedly taught.”
“She means us,” I said to the room at large.
“Well I always tell you children that the more you are in the world the worse off you’ll be.”
“That’s not true,” cut in Matt, “It’s true that you can let the world influence you to do the wrong things, but the choice is ultimately yours. You can choose to murder and take drugs, but the world doesn’t make you.”
“Do you have any proof of that?”
“Look at Christopher Benson,” I found myself almost shouting. “He was raised in seclusion, but he still did horrible things.” As I already pointed out, I don’t like to talk in front of people, but if you made me angry, well, you might be in for a lecture.
“Well his parents were most likely bad people,” Mrs. Jackson stubbornly argued.
“They weren’t,” Matt put in. “They were Christians and the biggest thing you’ll see that they did is speed. When we did our research we read that their criminal record, if you can even call it that, only had a speeding ticket and Mr. Benson happened to be late for work that day.”
“Well you’re wrong and that’s that,” she said simply. She could be very obstinate at times. Shortly after, the bell rang. Matt and I were furious. How could she just brush the fact away without even thinking about it? How could someone completely overlook the obvious truth like that?
Miss Scott approached us. “You two are great,” she said grinning. “Would you like to join the debate club?” She said it all so quickly and forwardly it took me a moment to figure out exactly what she had said.
“Join?” Matt asked. He seemed to be feeling the same way I was.
“Yes. If she hadn’t made you stop you could have really put her down, which may be why she made you stop now that I think about it.” We knew she was talking about Mrs. Jackson.
“Thank you very much for the offer Mam,” I said. “We’ll certainly consider it.” She nodded to us and left. I looked over at Matt and he appeared excited. He’d love to do something like being on a debate team. Since science was the last class for the day, we left for the bus. We, unlike most teenagers, did all our weekend homework on Friday night so we could spend as much time together on Saturday as was possible. On Sunday, we usually just stayed home, except for church of course. It was kind of our family day.
That was a normal week for the gang. We spent as much time together as we could. We were all like family. We loved each other and were there in times of need and encouragement.

The day that Jeremy was supposed to come drew nearer and everyday I got more excited. If I wasn’t so busy with school, I don’t know what I would have done until Friday. At Youth group that week I announced it as a prayer request and everybody promised to pray and every night before bed I prayed that Jeremy and I would eventually become good friends.
On Friday, the teachers at our school had a meeting so school was canceled for the whole day. When I woke up I nearly screamed I was so anxious. I was counting down the minutes before Jeremy was supposed to get here. Matt called and relieved my tension for about ten minutes.
“Just calm down, Lizzie,” he had said. “God will handle everything. He knows what’s best for all of us.”
“Thanks Matt,” I said. “Well, I’d better go. He’s supposed to be here in an hour. I’ll call you about dinner tonight.”
“Alright. Bye Lizzie.”
“Bye.” I hung up the receiver and went upstairs to my room. I forced myself calm down and I grabbed my Bible hoping for some consolation there. I let it fall to a random chapter and it opened to, miraculously enough, Philippians 4. My eyes fell on the verses 6-7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, Which surpasses all understanding, well guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” I felt ashamed. I thought of the questions that had raced through my head all day. Will he like me? Will he be comfortable? Will we get along? Will he be kind? Will he like the gang? The verse had said, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer…let your requests be made known to God.”
“Heavenly Father,” I found myself saying, “I am sorry I’ve have been so anxious today. Please help me to put my faith in You to trust that everything will turn out for the best. Father, I pray that in time Jeremy and I will get along well and love each other like siblings should. I’ve been an only child all my life and I know I’ll need help from You to help adjust to having a brother, and to share him with my parents. I pray that he will be comfortable here with us and we could be salt and light to him. In Your name, I pray. Amen.” After, I felt much more calm and relaxed. I looked at my clock and it was five minutes until Jeremy was supposed to get here.
I went down stairs and saw Mom and Dad sitting together on the love seat in the family room. I sat down on the recliner next to them and smiled at them. They smiled back and we sat in silence. In about five minutes, we heard the sound of a car pulling into our driveway. We went outside and were surprised to see a van sitting there. A man who looked to be in his early thirties stepped out of the driver’s seat of the car. He was wearing a suit and tie, and we saw him walking around to the other side of the van. I heard thumping and a grunt as if the man were lifting something heavy. He shut the door and when he reappeared, the boy with him shocked me.

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

He was in a wheel chair! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it was just unexpected. The man wheeled the boy up to us and turned to us “Mr. and Mrs. Hill I presume,” he said holding out a hand to my father. My parents shook his hand with a look of confusion on there faces. Apparently they weren’t expecting this either. Then what the man did next stunned me as well. He turned to face he boy and started doing sign language! I could tell he was telling the boy who my parents were. Then he turned back to us.
“Mr., Mrs., and Miss Hill,” he said this time addressing me too, “this is Jeremy.”
“He’s deaf?” my mother asked a bit untactfully. I could tell the boy, who was now looking up at Mom, could lip read enough to tell what she said. I would never forget what he did next. Tears started to well up in his eyes and he signed to the man next to him, “They don’t want me?” The man looked at my parents and said, “Jeremy has osteogenesis imperfecta. In other words, he has a disease, which causes him to have very brittle bones, and because of it, he has gone deaf. Mrs. Hill, when you asked if he was deaf, he lip-read what you said. He has waited excitedly for this day and now believes that you don’t want him.” My parents didn’t know sign language and so had no idea of what Jeremy had signed. I, on the other hand, understood it all. It broke my heart to see him sitting there. He had extremely thin legs, from lack of use. His hair was a dark blonde, almost brown, and his eyes were a hazel color, somewhere in between brown and grey. He looked so pitiful I could feel the tears filling my eyes too.
I couldn’t imagine spending a lifetime going from house to house and nobody wanting you. Then you finally get to a home where you think you’ll be loved and cared after and find out the family doesn’t want you just because you were deaf. It must have been horrible for him.
My mother said abruptly, “Of course we still want him.”
“Can anyone here sign?” the man asked. “It looks as if you weren’t quite prepared.”
“I can,” I put in.
“Would you mind explaining to him what’s going on? I’m still a beginner and don’t quite know how to say it without an awful lot of finger spelling,” he explained. “You have to let him hold onto your hands because he can’t see everything your doing.” I nodded and turned to look at Jeremy.
I walked slowly toward him trembling and trying to hold back my own tears.
“Jeremy,” I signed, “my name is Lizzie. Of course, we still want you to live with us. We just didn’t know you were deaf. It was just a surprise, do you understand? We want you to stay with us.”
He looked me directly in the face and I smiled tears now streaming down my face. He smiled back and nodded more tears pouring out of his eyes than before. Then he started laughing. It was a sweet laugh and it was infectious. Soon I was laughing to. I’d felt like I’d known him forever. I leaned forward to hug him and he hugged me back. “Thanks,” he signed. Then we all decided to go inside. I wheeled Jeremy around and then he got his first glimpse of his home. Not house, home.

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

The man, whose name turned out to be Mr. Adams, was of course a social worker. We went to the courthouse to have my parents sign the papers so they could officially have legal guardianship of Jeremy, even though when he talked about Mom or Dad he used the signs Mother and Father. After about an hour or so after we got back, Mr. Adams left. First, he said goodbye to Jeremy and wished him a pleasant time here. Mom had forgotten something she needed for dinner and ran to get it at the local grocery store and Dad took my Sign Language book to see if he could learn the alphabet before supper. He did this partially so he could at least have conversations with Jeremy, but mostly so Jeremy and I could have some time with each other. I was grateful for it and Jeremy and I sat a talked for quite some time. He asked me how I knew sign language and I told him about school and teaching the deaf kids there and that I would probably be teaching his class. He was happy about that. Then he asked me what my sign name was. A sign name is a name that a deaf person has to give you and it usually consists of the first letter of someone’s name and a sign that represents something about them. Mine was two Es going out from the sides of my head, the Es were for my name and they were mixed with the sign for teacher, because the students that I taught had given me my name.
“May I give you a new name, just for me to use?” Jeremy asked.
“If you want to,” I signed back. Jeremy thought for a moment. Then he made an L with his right hand and made a half circle around his face. He was using an L for Lizzie and mixing it with the sign for beautiful.
“You are beautiful on the inside and outside,” he signed. I just beamed at him. I did the same thing he did for my name only I did it with a J.
“These will be our special signs that only we can use,” I said. He nodded and smiled at me. I looked at my watch to check the time. It was almost four thirty! Matt would be waiting for a call. “Jeremy,” I signed, “I told my best friend you were coming today and he really wants to meet you. His name is Matt and he knows sign language too. I told him if it was okay with you he could come over for dinner tonight. Do you mind?” I asked tentatively. I could tell he was a little nervous, but anxious to meet Matt.
“No,” he answered. I hugged him and told him I was going to get the phone to tell Matt. I called and told Matt to come over as soon as he could and he promised he would. In my excitement, I forgot to tell him about Jeremy’s disabilities and was a little worried about how he would react.
About fifteen minutes later the doorbell rang and I told Jeremy where I was going because of course he had not heard it. He said he’d like to come with me. I wheeled him to the door and pushed it open. I was afraid at how Matt would react when I introduced him, but I needn’t have worried.
“Matt,” I started, “this is Jeremy he’s deaf. Let me introduce you first.” I expected Matt to act a little like Mom, but he just smiled and nodded. I walked in front of Jeremy. “Jeremy this is Matt. He’s my best friend.” Matt walked right up to Jeremy, who was now smiling, and started signing with him. Jeremy liked Matt I could tell. Shortly afterward, we were called to supper. I sat next to Jeremy so I could translate the conversation for him. It was a little difficult at first trying to eat and sign at the same time, but Matt sat on his other side so if I was in the middle of eating he would sign. After dinner, Dad offered to do the dishes so Mom, Matt, and I gave Jeremy a tour of the house. When we got back to the living room Mom said she’d go help Dad finish up the dishes and Matt, Jeremy and I talked for a while.
“God is good,” Jeremy signed. I felt so ashamed. I hadn’t even thought of whether Jeremy was a Christian or not.
“Yes He is,” Matt signed back.
“I don’t think there is any way I could have gotten through all those different foster homes and orphanages without His comfort,” Jeremy continued. I walked over to Jeremy and asked Matt if I could do the signing for a little.
“Well, you won’t ever have to go to another house again. Now we have you and you’re going to stay here for as long as we can keep you,” I assured him.
“Thank you,” he said. “I don’t ever want to leave here. This is the first place I’ve felt like I’m home or that I’m wanted. My biological parents abandoned me as soon as they found out about my disease. I can’t even remember what they look like. You are the kindest family God has ever led me to. I love you guys. I‘m including you in that too Matt.” He had tears in his eyes as he signed this and I started crying myself. I looked over a Matt and he had a single tear running down his face. At that point Mom and Dad came in and we sat down to play a game. Around ten Dad drove Matt back home and Jeremy and I got ready for bed.
It turns out that he could dress himself just not get into the bed because it was too high. He was so light I could lift him up myself. When Dad got back, we all prayed together in Jeremy’s room and when Mom and Dad left Jeremy and I talked for a little while.
“Goodnight, Lizzie,” he signed, using my special sign, after I said I should be heading to bed.
“I love you,” I signed, and headed off to bed.

 

[tolkienlewisfan]

When I woke up the next morning, I went to Jeremy’s room and peeked in the door. He was sitting up in his bed reading his Bible. I opened the door further and walked over and sat down on the end of his bed. When he saw me he put his Bible down, smiled, and then signed, “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I replied. “I came to see if you wanted to get out of bed yet.”
“Yes, thank you.” I helped him out of his bed and into his chair and pushed him toward the kitchen.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes”
“Do you like bacon and eggs?”
“Yes, very much.” I put the skillet on the oven to get it heated up then threw some bacon on it. As I was reaching into the fridge to get the eggs Jeremy wheeled up to me.
“Do you want orange juice or milk?” I asked.
“Milk, please.” I continued to prepare breakfast and it was finished in no time. After we sat down and prayed Jeremy asked me something. “Lizzie is Matt coming over today?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“I liked Matt. Most people treat me like I need help, but he treated me like I was a normal person.”
“You are normal, but we’d better get to eating before our eggs get cold. If you want I can ask Mom and Dad if the gang can come over later.”
“Who’s the gang?”
“My group of friends.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“No problem, now dig in.” I was glad he liked Matt. I had been a little afraid he’d just want to be on his own a lot, but he really wanted to get to know more people. I imagined growing up with no friends and thought I would have died if I didn’t have the gang.
“Good morning,” said my father’s voice.
“Hi! Dad,” I said and turned to tell Jeremy he was here. Jeremy wheeled around to face Dad then went up to him and hugged him. Jeremy had told me that he finally felt at home here. I was amazed at his faith. I know I if were him I’d be feeling doubt more than comfort then. I’d be thinking, “What if they leave me just the other families? What if they decide they don’t like me?” He was amazing. So sure that God was going to work everything out with us. And I felt so at ease with him. I knew that I could talk with him as I did Matt.
Suddenly I remembered My promise to Jeremy. “Dad,” I asked, “Do you think the gang could drop by today to see Jeremy? He wants to meet them.”
“I’ll have to talk with your mother, but I don’t see why not,” he answered.
“Sure,” said Mom entering the kitchen. She walked over and kissed Jeremy on the cheek and continued, “I think it would be a great idea to have them over. Do want to have them stay for dinner?”
“I’ll ask Jeremy,” I replied. I turned to look at him and patted his shoulder to let him know I wanted to talk to him. “Mom says it’s fine for my friends to come over today. Do you want them to stay for supper?”
“OK,” he signed back. He smiled at me and I smiled back. Then we turned back to Mom and Dad.
“He said sure,” I told them. After breakfast, I called the gang and asked them to come over. They all sounded enthusiastic; all that is except Amanda who sounded rather hesitant and when asked why said it was nothing. When I called Matt I told him, but he said not to worry about it and just treat it like nothing happened. I was grateful for his advice, but still felt uneasy.
The gang arrived at about 3:00 that afternoon. I introduced them all to Jeremy. We played until suppertime, this time turkey and fresh bread. After supper, they stayed about two hours then left as their parents picked them up one at a time. I could tell Jeremy was enjoying himself that night. He probably hadn’t expected to have so many people who could talk and play with him. Even though Mom and Dad didn’t know sign language, they were trying to learn and had already gotten the hang of the alphabet.
On Sunday, we went to church and I translated everything to Jeremy. More than once I saw Mike looking over at us and I smiled. There was nothing he would dare say to us at church. During the sermon, Jeremy just sat there smiling like there was nothing wrong with the world. Afterwards we went home and ate lunch then that night we had our first family devotion together.
The next day I got ready for school early. The bus normally got to my house around 7:00 in the morning. I hurried through breakfast, dressed, brushed my teeth, and was ready to go when I heard thumping from Jeremy’s room. It was about ten, ‘till 7. I had told him what time I was leaving, but he didn’t go to school until the afternoon. I couldn’t figure out what the noise was so I went up to his room and opened the door. He was sitting up in bed. As I looked around, I saw various belongings on the floor. I went over and asked him what he was doing up already.
“I wanted to say goodbye to you before you left,” he explained. “And I had to get your attention so I threw some softer things against my door. Do you mind if I pray with you before you leave?”
“Not at all,” I replied. I thought it was so sweet of him.
“Father,” he began, “We thank you for all our blessings: to have a home, food and a loving family. I pray that you will watch over all of us today and keep us safe. Help Lizzie today at school and help me on my first day there also. Help us to be a blessing to those around us today and in you name I pray. Amen.”
“Alright. Thank you Jeremy. I’d better run now I think I hear the bus coming down the street. I’ll see you later.” I leaned down and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Do you want me to take you to the kitchen before I go?” I asked remembering he couldn’t get there himself.
“If you could just help me into my wheelchair I think I’ll be fine.” I lifted him into his chair and opened the door for him. He started to wheel himself out of his room when I heard the bus horn. I told him I was leaving, called “Bye” to Mom and Dad, and then ran out the door.
I got onto the bus looking for some sign of the gang. I took a few steps then heard Mike calling to me, “Hey Anthill, who’s that new geek brother of yours.” I walked past with my nose in the air and heard a more welcome call.
“Hey, Lizzie. Over here.” I turned and saw Matt waving to me. I walked over and sat down by him.
“Hi, Matt.”
“Is Jeremy coming to class today?” he asked.
“Yeah, and guess what?”
“What?”
“He’s gonna be in the class that we teach in,” I said excitedly. “We found out on Saturday and he’s so excited about starting.”
“Um, I know you’ve been really busy with Jeremy lately, Lizzie, so I haven’t asked you, but have you thought any more about that debate thing?” he asked tentatively.
“Yes,” I replied dreading having to give an answer. I knew Matt wanted me to be in it, but I had decided that, especially with Jeremy now, I was just too busy. “Yes,” I continued, “And I’ve decided that I probably shouldn’t. I’ve just been so busy lately, Matt, and I think I should be spending a lot of time with Jeremy too. I’m really sorry.” I looked up at him and was surprised to see that he didn’t look that disappointed.
“That’s okay Lizzie,” he said. “I expected it to be honest with you. It’s perfectly natural for you to want to spend more time with Jeremy. I think I’ll go ahead and do it. I called to get more information about it and it’s only two nights a week and it’s after we’re done teaching.”
“That’s great Matt. Well we’re here.
“Lizzie I also want to ask you a favor.”
“Sure Matt.”
“Will you help me practice for the debates?”
“Of course. It could be fun.”
“Thanks,” he said, but I wasn’t really listening. We were walking to our Math class and I saw a new girl heading in there too. She was gorgeous. She had hair so dark it was almost black. Her eyes were violet and big too. Of her appearance also may have had something to do with the fact that she had about five layers of makeup on.
“Who’s she?”
“I heard about her. She lives on my block and I think her name is Karen,” he answered.
“Oh, have you talked to her?”
“No I haven’t gotten a chance to yet.” Then we went to sit down at our desks.
At lunch that day, it was clear that Karen was going to be one of the most popular girls in school. We had seen her hanging out with the in crowd and rumor was it that Mike had asked her out that night. All the news I heard that day was about her.
“You’d think that people would have better things to talk about,” Matt complained. We were on our way to the deaf and blind classes. Unfortunately, we saw Mike and his crew standing outside waiting for us. To our surprise Karen was there with him. We saw her point at us and the crowd started laughing at us. We just walked right on past. I could tell that it looked like Jeremy was going to get his fair share of teasing.

 

[SweetWaters]

Excellent work. I like the way you contrast Christopher Bensen, whose family was dedicated and protective, and yet became a criminal, with Jeremy, whose family was not good, and yet he came to know God. I am curious to know how much of this came from real life experience.

A quick suggestion: try to use correct punctuation, as it helps the reader understand more easily.