My Front Porch Looking In (Star Wars Prequel Re-write)

Aravis Kenobi

Aravis Kenobi

New member
Well, some of you may remember me writing this story about a year or so ago that was under the name of Star Wars: A Brave Spirit. This is the same story, only revised and under a different name; it's also in actual story form instead of script-form. I just realized that I don't have it on my computer so I will be posting the first post a little later. If you'd like to be on the notification(s) list, I will leave a message on your profile with a link letting you know that the story has been updated.

Part 1: (The Phantom Menace, 32 BBY) rating: PG for mention of violence

Part 2: (Right after TPM, 32 BBY, and about 7 or 8 years before AOTC) Rating: G, scene of a baby's delivery

Part 3: (Attack of the Clones, 22 BBY) Rating: G-PG, some violence.

Part 4: (Immediately following Attack of the Clones, 22 BBY, then one year before Revenge of the Sith, 21 BBY) Rating: PG for torture scenes and possibly one disturbing scene between husband and wife.


Story banners:

by Nightcrawler_fan: http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/PetraKenobi/FanficFrontPorch5.jpg


by Gondorgirl: http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/PetraKenobi/11gjas6.jpg
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/PetraKenobi/2luyw0o.jpg
rlf4er.jpg

(These lovely banners were made for the sequel) http://www.narniafans.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1871340&postcount=37

by Lila:
2po1k7b.png


by DaydreamBeliever:
b8thqq.jpg
The matching avatar is here: http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/PetraKenobi/ej7vqd.jpg
 
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I honestly think it is. Some areas it's pretty obvious how bad of a writer I am *lol* but other places it's not too terrible......I don't think this will be a career though, haha.
 
Dec. 20th: Interesting Strangers

My life, as I knew it, was about to end. When Qui-Gon, Padme, R2D2, and Jar Jar Binks first walked through the junk shop doors, I thought it was just business as usual. Little did I know those four strangers would be involved in events that would forever change me, mature me, and scar me…

“Hi chuba de naga?” Watto asked the four as they walked into the dark, somewhat crowded, junk shop. Translated, the welcoming phrase meant “What do you want?” I knew Huttese fluently, as did my mother and brother, and I was a little taken aback that this man knew Huttese, or at least understood it, since he and his companions didn't look like they were from Tattoine. Most citizens of Tattoine spoke Huttese.

“I need parts for a J-type 327 Nubian.” He calmly replied. The man was tall, somewhat broad shouldered, and bearded with shoulder length gray hair. He was dressed as a farmer; but I had never seen him before, and in this town, you don’t see many new people.

“Ah yes, yes. Nubian. We have lots of that. Peedenkel! Naba dee unko!” Watto shouted. He was yelling at Anakin, my brother and 8 years my junior. “Coona tee-tocky malia?” Watto asked impatiently, wondering what took Anakin so long; which in reality didn’t take him more than a minute.

“Mel tassa cho-passa” Anakin replied, a bit peeved at Watto’s impatience.

“Chut-chut! Ganda doe wallya” Watto replied, telling Anakin to watch the shop. He must have forgotten that I was behind the counter, repairing a broken leg of a droid. However, I was sitting down cross-legged in front of it so nobody could see me unless they stood right by the counter and looked over. Watto turned back to Qui-Gon. “So, let me take thee out back. Ni you’ll find what you need.”
As Anakin jumped up onto the counter and sat down on it, Qui-Gon, Watto, and R2 went out back in the junk yard.

“Anakin, will you give me that?” I turned around slightly and pointed at a tool on the counter. He threw it to me and I caught it gracefully.

Anakin turned back to Padme. “Are you an angel?” He asked. I laughed softly to myself; a little embarrassed at my brother’s innocent question, but thankful I was somewhat hidden.

Padme turned to him, the question seeming to amuse her. “What?” she replied, keeping her amusement apparent only in a smile.

“An angel; I’ve heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They’re most the beautiful creatures in the universe. They’re from the moons of Iego, I think.”Anakin said, matter-of-factly.

“You’re a funny little boy. How do you know so much?” Padme replied, obviously interested in this little boy dressed in rags.

“I listen to all the star pilots who come through here. I’m a pilot you know, and someday I’m going to fly away from this place.” Anakin said as he fiddled with a piece of machinery.

“You’re a pilot?” asked Padme.

“Yep. All my life.” He said cheerfully.

“How long have you been here?” Padme asked.

“Since I was very little; three I think. My mom, sister and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but she lost us betting on the podraces.” Anakin said without shame or embarrassment.

“You’re a slave?” Padme said, horrified, though she didn’t show it.

“I’m a person and my name is Anakin.” The little boy said with a tint of anger in his voice.

“I’m sorry; this is a strange place to me.” Padme said, for it was indeed alien to her.

“Anakin, did you finish what I asked you to do earlier?” I said, my voice somewhat muffled.

“Yes, why?” Anakin replied.

“Just wondering.” I said as I stood up, wiping my hands on a rag.

“Who are you?” Padme asked, somewhat surprised.

“Petra Skywalker; his older sister. And you are?” I asked Padme. I definitely knew that Padme and Jar Jar weren’t from Tattoine.

“Padme Naberrie.” The young handmaiden replied.

Jar Jar had found a little droid and activated it. It was running around the shop as Jar Jar tried to catch it. He caught it around the neck but didn’t know how to turn it off.

“Hey! Hit the nose.” Anakin said as Padme and I watched Jar Jar in amusement.

Jar Jar hit the nose and the droid folded up and lay on the floor. Qui-gon and R2 came back in.

“We’re leaving. Jar Jar.” Qui-gon said, obviously upset over something.

“I’m glad to have met you both.” Padme said as she walked out with the others.

“I was glad to meet you too!” Anakin shouted as he turned back to the piece of machinery he had in his lap.

A\N: The story is technically divided into about 6 parts, the first five centering on the events in and between the films. the sixth part, Search for Truth, is a sequel to MFPLI
 
Dec. 21st: In a Bad Mood

Watto flew back into the shop, disgust evident on his face. “Ootmians. Tinka me chasa hopoe ma booty na nolia.”

“La lova num botaffa.” Anakin replied, not at all unhappy with having met Padme.

Watto growled then said, “Fweepa niaga. Tolpa da bunky dunko.”

Anakin jumped off the counter and ran outside to finish his job for the day. Watto turned to me.

“Are you done?” He asked, and I didn’t’ want to make him any madder by delaying a response.

“Yes.” I replied; his attitude always annoyed me but I couldn’t’ do anything about it.

“Good then you can go home.” He said, half-interested.

“But…”

“Go home, Skywalker. You’re done for the day.” He snapped angrily.

I didn’t want to go home; I wanted to wait for Anakin but I also knew I shouldn’t make him any madder. I nodded my head and started walking home, avoiding the busier streets and going the long way. For some reason, the four strangers weighed heavily on my mind. It felt like they would be involved in my life for a long time, yet I didn’t know why. I shrugged my shoulders as I got closer to home, really wanting nothing else than to climb into bed and go to sleep. Shmi, my mother, or rather my adopted mother, met me as I walked into the hovel.

“How was your day?” She asked cheerfully.

“It was fine, Mom.” I replied wearily.

She eyed me suspiciously. “Somehow I don’t think that is the case.”

“Mom, my day was fine.” I retorted, somewhat sharply.

“All right, I’m sorry.” She threw her hands up and walked back into the kitchen, cleaning up.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed with the day and annoyed at my mom for no reason. Shmi always told me I had a short temper and she was right; something I hated about myself but for some reason, today’s events were grating on my nerves. I went to the room that Anakin and I shared and sat down on my bed, looking over at the cloth-covered heap on the desk; Anakin’s new project, a protocol droid. I lay down, my hands on my stomach, looking up at the ceiling. I must have fallen asleep because I was roused by Anakin shouting that he was home. But it sounded like he wasn’t alone. I groaned as I stood up. I walked out and was surprised to find the four strangers in our hovel. Inwardly, I groaned again. I didn’t want company right now but I guess I didn’t have a choice.

Anakin was busy introducing the strangers: their names were Qui-Gon Jinn, Padme, Jar Jar Binks, and R2D2, the astro droid. Anakin took Padme’s hand and showed her C-3PO. Anakin activated him and 3PO took some wobbly steps across the floor before introducing himself to R2D2.

Shmi was standing by Qui-Gon. When I entered the room, his gaze turned to me.

“This is my daughter, Petra.” My mom told the foreigner. He nodded silently towards me as Shmi started into the kitchen. “Petra, help me please.” I lowered my eyes away from his and followed my mom into the kitchen to help her prepare what little food we had.

“They’re staying here tonight.” Shmi said.

I looked at her. “Mom, why?”

Shmi turned and met my gaze. “Because they can’t get back to their ship tonight. The sand storm is too bad for them to walk through it.”

I was getting a little annoyed by now. “Can’t they stay somewhere else?”

“Petra, I’m surprised at your attitude. At least try to be sociable during dinner.” She turned back to the stove. I took that as my cue to be quiet; so I started fixing the glasses and setting the table. I was silent, thinking over my thoughts. In a few minutes, we all sat down to dinner.

“Every slave has a transmitter placed inside their bodies somewhere.” Shmi said as she went around the table pouring blue milk and water into the glasses. I placed a bowl of fruit on the table, avoiding Qui-gon’s gaze. It’s not that he made me uncomfortable; I just felt like he was reading my thoughts and knew why I was so quiet. Yet, I felt a connection to him; one I couldn’t explain. It bothered me greatly. It didn’t strike me as being a romantic gaze; just a watchful gaze.

“I’ve been working on a machine to try and locate mine.” Anakin said, unaware of how I was feeling.

Shmi finished the last of the glasses and put the pitcher up. “Any attempt to escape…”

“And they blow you up. BOOM!”* Anakin slammed his hand down on the table, making Padme jump.

Jar Jar looked at Anakin. “How wude.”

Padme spoke up, “I can’t believe there’s still slavery in the galaxy. The Republic’s anti-slavery laws…”

“The republic doesn’t exist out here.” I said without interest. Qui-Gon looked at me as if he was surprised I had spoken. Shmi sat down next to me.

“We must survive on our own” she said looking at me.

The conversation continued, but I really wasn’t listening. Something about Anakin racing in a podrace and Qui-gon sponsoring him. Mom shook my shoulder slightly to let me know dinner was through and I helped her clean up. I absentmindedly washed the dishes and put them up.

“Petra, why are you in such a mood?” She asked me once we were alone.

“I’m just tired, mom. And I don’t feel like having company.” I answered wearily; I was tired, and I really wanted to go to bed.

“Fine. Go get Anakin please.” She turned back to cleaning the kitchen as I walked out onto the balcony. Qui-Gon and Anakin were talking; Qui-Gon cleaning a cut on Anakin’s arm. He scraped some of the blood off into something.

“Ani, it’s bedtime.” I said, standing in the doorway.

“Aw, Petra do I have to?” He said, somewhat whining.

I was trying not to be annoyed. “Anakin, no arguing.”

A\N: sorry this is kinda long.
 
It's not too long, it went by pretty quickly when I was reading it :D it's nice to be able to read it from the beginning
 
This seems interesting, maybe I'll stick around for a while, if my school work allows it. :eek:

The story's been running smoothly, and I hope to read more.
I hope you don't mind suggestions, because though I mean nicely, I don't really know how to phrase my words nicely. I guess I would suggest you leave out some of the Huttese. A phrase or two here or there is fine, if you could give the reader the meaning. But too much of it might slow the reading, or sidetrack the reader. I personally find that stories usually run smoother without too much foreign languages, be they Huttese or Elvish.

Anyway, you're doing a good job, keep it up. :)
 
I think that the last couple of posts were the only ones which had Huttese. I think...I've cut out most of the movie's events and just told it in summaries. :) *mainly 'cause a lot of it is so boring and drags the story; in fact, I just realized that I really cut ROTS short but since one person is hardly privvy to everything that goes on simultaneously, I guess it's okay. *shrugs *
 
Dec. 22: Strange Things

Anakin jumped off the balcony, somewhat reluctantly, and ran inside. I turned to go back inside but Qui-Gon’s soft voice stopped me.

“Do you have a cut on your hand?” He asked me, his soft gray eyes bearing into mine. I looked towards the stars and answered yes. He held out his hand to me, and I extended mine to meet his. He did the same thing with my hand that he did to Anakin’s arm.

“That’s all.”

“Mind telling me why?” I asked, somewhat curious.

“The same reason I checked your brother’s blood; for infection.” He answered calmly.

“I cleaned the cut; it isn’t infected.” I informed him before turning back inside. I didn’t realize though, that something was in fact out of the ordinary: I had a midi-chlorian count at exactly 9,875, 125 lower than Anakin’s chlorian count.

I went into the bedroom that Anakin and I shared; he was already in bed with his back to me. I changed into sleeping clothes then walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder. He wasn’t asleep and rolled over to face me.

“What’s the matter?” He asked me.

“I’m just tired.” I replied, yawning.

He eyed me suspiciously with his blue eyes. “What do you think of them?”

I shrugged my shoulders; I really didn’t care about them.

“I like Padme.” He said, shaking off the curiosity.

“Goodnight Anakin.” I gave him a little kiss on the cheek, turned out the light, then walked back to my own bed and slipped in between the worn but clean covers. I really wasn’t as tired as I thought I was, but I soon heard Anakin’s steady breathing from across the room. I stared at the wall, trying to rid my mind of the four strangers. Three or four hours later, I finally was able to sleep, but with restlessness.
 
Dec. 24th: An Interesting Request

Gondorgirl said:
Very nice Obi, I am enjoying reading it all the way through very much :D
Click to expand...

Thanks. :D

The next morning was the morning of the race. Anakin and everyone else was awake and getting ready, although Anakin had gotten ready an hour or more ago. I reluctantly got out of bed and started to get dressed; I’d still have to work some today even though it was a racing day. I heard a knock on my door. I pulled on the overshirt I wore everyday and buttoned it; my hair was still down, but I picked up a brush and started brushing my hair as I answered the door. It was Qui-Gon.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” He asked, very sincerely.

I finished brushing my waist long hair. “No, I was just getting ready.”

“I was wondering, would you want to go to the arena early with me?”

“Why?” I asked in response to his question; not entirely sure why he’d ask me that.

“I was just wondering; you don’t have too.” He started to walk off.

“I’ll be finished in five minutes.” I closed the door and turned to the small mirror behind the door. I arranged my hair as usual and joined him and Jar Jar outside. We started walking to the arena, my mind elsewhere. It was Qui-Gon who broke the silence.

“I was able to convince Watto to give you the day off.”

I didn’t look at him; I just nodded my head in acknowledgment.

“Petra?” He asked me, stopping and putting his hand on my shoulder.

This time, I made eye contact. “What?”
 
Amen sister. :D Obi's the coolest Jedi ever with the coolest wife. :p

I won't be posting anymore updates until the 26th. But feel free to post and talk. I don't mind. :)
 
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