My Poems

LocoRoco

LocoRoco

New member
Hey guys, I write poems... And I just thought that I'd post them on here. So have a look, take a peek and you might like what you see!

Love Hurts

You said,
So much,
I knew it was true,
But so much was in the way,
Of me and you,
But still you came,
You promised,
You promised me the world,
And all its friends,
You said we’d be rich,
And that no one and nothing would take me from you,
But then you left me,
Without a glance back,
Frozen and cold,
Someone took you away from me,
I was broken,
Shot through the heart,
Sobbing on the floor,
Anguish, Devastation, Desolate
All words in my new vocabulary.
I couldn’t move,
I couldn’t breathe,
I just wished for it to cease,
The world to stop,
So I looked at the world,
High on that banister,
And I flew,
Until he caught me,
The blond angel,
He grabbed me and he held me tight,
Pulling me back to the ground,
He hugged me hard,
And showed me love again,
He restored me,
And made me whole again.



And please don't forget to leave a comment, thank you muchely. :D
 
Breaking promises is a terribly hurtful thing. The realization of this is why the Christian men's group The Promise Keepers was formed. Someplace in the Old Testament, I confess I don't remember where, is a passage in which God shows His approval of a man who, having given a promise, keeps it even when it costs him something to do it.
 
And they were right to keep that promise even though it was so hard. Although in the poem the guy dies so I guess there's not much they can do. :/
 
You're on the right track. They're rather sad, but not overly boo-hoo. I like the blond angel part. And I agree with Copperfox (and you)-breaking promises is terrible.
 
Last edited:
Well I'll warn you now... All of them are sad. I might post other one actually. Of vourse I'm going to double post because I don't want to add it to the end. Thanks i really appreciate any comments you guys ahve to make. :D
 
Her drawings,
Come to life,
Prancing around her room,
Other people,
Would say,
That she was insane,
But she knew,
It was all true,
Nothing wrong,
With believing,
So what if everyone else,
Couldn’t see the fairies,
That fly,
Around and around,
And no one else,
Saw the werewolves,
Snapping at each other,
And tumbling around the garden,
No one else saw,
The icy white statues,
Stood around,
The very picture of elegance,
The Shadowhunters,
With their magic weapons,
And runes adorning their skin,
But if it’s real,
If it’s not pretend,
Then she’s was special,
For she could see,
Through the mist.
 
Maybe I'm having a dense day today, but I'm trying to find the allusion to icy white statues and werewolves-- sounds like a reference to New Moon and therefore Stephenie Meyer is the poem's main character, but I can't place the icy white statues unless they are the vampires. Or is this just an imaginary person with imaginary fantasies in her head that sounds a lot like the Twilight story? And probably I'm influenced by your signature.

By the way, you really do have a gift for poetry.
 
I really like your second poem (not that I don't like the first. ;)). The second one is beautiful, a woman living in her own little world. Somedays I really feel like that, I've got my little world of faries and firedancers and whatnots, people/creatures I talk to and perhaps even love. :)
 
Greensawmill said:
Maybe I'm having a dense day today, but I'm trying to find the allusion to icy white statues and werewolves-- sounds like a reference to New Moon and therefore Stephenie Meyer is the poem's main character, but I can't place the icy white statues unless they are the vampires. Or is this just an imaginary person with imaginary fantasies in her head that sounds a lot like the Twilight story? And probably I'm influenced by your signature.
Click to expand...

I got the ideas of the werewolves from the Twilight books but it was meant to be a girl who believed that they were real and she could see them. So it wasn't supposed to be Stephanie Meyer.

Thanks to all who reviewed and I'm glad you like them!! :D
 
The war,
Left so many scarred,
Mentally and physically,
So many deaths,
All of them,
Loved by someone,
We may have won,
But why did that matter,
When there were so many,
That couldn’t ever see it,
One’s that deserved to,
Maybe even more than we did,
For they had sacrificed their lives,
For their friends,
The visible wounds,
Scattered across her back,
Across so many others too,
No one was ever the same,
The battle,
Long and bloody,
Made so many innocent,
Spread blood all over their hands,
No longer the innocent, taken lives,
So many lives,
On both sides.
 
I assume,
LocoRoco,
That you
Do not speak
As one who
Urged men on
To start a war.
This being so,
For you to say
That it doesn't matter
Who won the war
Shows that you
Have never
Experienced
What it's like
To have lost one.
 
Well, I'm not in fact old enough to have been around during any wars that are directly affecting Britain, well apart from in Afganistan. And, I didn't mean it like that. I just think that war is just bloodshed and not much else. I think that we should just engage in conversation, but I do realise that it's very unlikely that this will sort anything out, especially with bombing and such.
 
LocoRoco, dear girl....just re-read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." Fantasy though it is, it is close enough to real moral issues for this purpose. Was Jadis only misunderstood, and just waiting for Aslan to stop being so mean to her? No, Jadis was EVIL in her heart, she LIKED being evil, and she refused her opportunity to surrender to Aslan and quit being evil. The two sides there were NOT equally guilty; Jadis was wrong and deserved to lose, and Aslan was right and deserved to win.

In the real world, although there ARE some wars in which both sides are guilty, there are many wars in which ONLY ONE side is guilty.

Don't stop writing poems! But also, don't stop learning more about history.
 
I love History! It's one of my favourite subjects. But I am only 13, so please can you just ignore that one? It was meant to point out the pain that war can cause... But I suppose I should of thought it over. But I just let the words pour out, not thinking about what I'm writing.
 
I decided to post another one! :D

The anger,
Overflows her veins,
So she writes it down,
On the page,
But no,
I can’t do that,
Not the time or the place they say,
They don’t care if it causes her to snap,
The cracks,
Peeking through,
Everything she writes,
In an attempt to express herself,
To stop her from doing something rash,
For no one would like it,
If she screamed and shouted,
It was blocking her,
Closing in on all sides,
Making her claustrophobic,
She threw off her tie,
Tried not to scream,
And settled for silence,
Still writing,
Seemingly endlessly.
 
Thank you. That's because it is honestly how I feel. I'm not sure about a few of the lines though, do you think that there are some that don't quite fit?
 
Back
Top