My Writing (Wattpad links)

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NarniaFan95

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Soooooooo, I'm not sure if this is the place for this, or if any of you will even be interested, but I am looking for more feedback on my more recent writing, so I am providing a link to my wattpad and a few of the better stories.

My Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/SupremeQueenSaxon

Just a warning here, the reason I am posting links instead of the stories themselves is, there is content in these stories which is not exactly appropriate for this website (which is part of why I wasn't sure if this was the place for it, but I REALLY want some feedback, so I thought I'd give it a try--but if the mods need to take this post or any part of it down, I completely understand).
Some, but not all, contain some bad language, violence, frightening situations, and other mature themes. If you do not tolerate those things, simply do not click on the stories, please, or, if the mods need them removed, go ahead, I will understand, but other tips for how to get more feedback on Wattpad would be appreciated. :)

That being said...There are a few different stories of mine there which I would love feedback on, but a lot of those are fanfic. While I am happy for feedback on any of them, these are links to those which are not fanfic. I will provide ratings beside each link.

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OUR BIG SMALL WORLD - https://www.wattpad.com/story/68629999-our-big-small-world

Rated PG for language and some suggestive themes, but honestly probably the most benign story of the three I'm posting links to. It's very short, and I never finished it, it was more of a writing exercise for me than anything, but I'd still like it if you'd take a look. :) At its core, it's a young adult romance.

Description on Wattpad: A young actor, Jensen Weber, has his world rocked to its core when he is reunited with Valerie Francis, his high school sweetheart--the one that got away--on the set of the film that would be his first big break. This unexpected reunion brings a slew of old emotions rushing back. How will Jensen ever be able to concentrate on his first big role with Valerie nearby?

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CRIME OF PASSION -https://www.wattpad.com/story/69332430-crime-of-passion

Rated PG-13 for violence, frightening situations, and mild language.

Description on Wattpad: Indigo Clover loves her favorite band more than anything in the world, or used to, anyway. Love has long since become obsession, which made the dangerous transition into madness.
Now her favorite band is breaking up.
Never in a million years could Indigo--or her recently-disbanded favorite group--ever predict what Indigo would do now.

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HAZZARD - https://www.wattpad.com/story/86376774-hazzard

Rated R for suggestive themes...Probably not something many will want to read, as it does have suggestive themes and it's a weeeeee bit preachy, but it's my newest one (there's only one chapter up on Wattpad so far because I'm waiting for some feedback before I add any more), and I'm quite proud, as it strays into a genre I normally do not write, kind of sci-fi/fantasy, and looking for feedback.
(FYI, it's supposed to be a little bit ridiculous.)
I will, however, leave it up to the mods' discretion whether the link stays up or not. While the story is not particularly explicit, it is highly suggestive (kinda like Barbarella, but a little less), and I will absolutely understand if the link needs to be removed...In fact, I'm pretty sure this is incredibly risky...

Description on Wattpad: (Again, keep in mind, this is SUPPOSED to be sort of ridiculous.) X number of lightyears away in a galaxy nearly identical to our own, there is a planet nearly identical to our own called planet Quasid. By the year 2000, under the influence of Empress Jocelyn and her army of Equalists, Quasid had become an idyllic paradise where all are truly equal...until the Fanatic Femmes, informally known as Fangirls, took over, and the world as Quasidlings knew it changed into a matriarchal society where men could be bought and sold for entertainment, where at Fanatic Femme could purchase her idol to keep forever.

In the year 2015, when his contract expires and his musical group is split up and shipped to auction by their former management team, Hazzard is bought--and rescued--by the courageous Princess Harlow of the Mother Kingdom, a follower of the Old Ways of Jocelyn, and together, they fight to regain the equality that has been lost.


Okeydoke, those are the links. I do have other stories up, like I said, mostly fanfic (probably more appealing than these three, honestly, lol), which I would also appreciate feedback on. I would love any feedback either here or on Wattpad...but please be gentle, it's been years since I was brave enough to post any of my work online because I don't always take criticism so well, lol.
Thanks!! :)
 
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The site demands personal information from me before it will let me read your story. I do not care to give that to them.
 
Copperfox said:
The site demands personal information from me before it will let me read your story. I do not care to give that to them.
Click to expand...

Really???? O__o That's really strange...It's never done that to me before, and I used to read stuff there all the time before I even signed up for an account. Maybe there's some sort of glitch.
I promise Wattpad is a widely used and very safe website. I know a large chunk of people who use it and read things there all the time. I don't know why it's asking for personal information. I'll have to log out and try to view my work via the links I provided here and see if it does the same thing, and if it does, I'll try to figure out why it's doing that and if there is a way I can fix it.

EDIT: Okay. I logged out of my Wattpad account and clicked on the links I provided here to see if I had the same problem you described. I think I see what your problem was--a few paragraphs in, it asked me to sign up for an account to keep reading...

It did not used to do that. Before I got an account there, I read stuff all the time without it asking me to sign up to see the rest. I don't know why they changed it, and quite frankly, I'm really annoyed that they did it. That probably explains part of why no matter how many places I post links to my Wattpad, I don't get any more reads, lol, if only members of Wattpad can see the whole thing. That's pretty annoying.

Sidenote, though, I would recommend a Wattpad membership to any writers. I haven't had a lot of luck with it, lol, but I know a lot of other writers who have gotten a lot of feedback there.
 
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Perhaps you could post an _excerpt_ here, one which _doesn't_ contain the potentially disturbing material.
 
Copperfox said:
Perhaps you could post an _excerpt_ here, one which _doesn't_ contain the potentially disturbing material.
Click to expand...

I am currently working on acquiring a membership to a different writing website which does not require a membership to read stories on (the membership is only taking time because my email is being stubborn for some reason and I'm having trouble opening the confirmation email), but that's not a bad idea, for the time being.
I need to gather the excerpts first, and I actually have a very brief story (more of a writing exercise I did for my own benefit than anything, starting with a prompt and running with it to see where my imagination could take it) which I have not put online at all yet which I may post, among probably some others which were too short to bother posting on Wattpad, but which might be good to post in order to receive feedback on my writing style. Thank you for the suggestion. :)
 
Mmkay. So this doesn't have a title, in fact, it doesn't even have a real plot. I don't think it's even a full page of text. It was a writing exercise I did for my own benefit. I started with the prompt "Harry Styles walked by earlier, and I choked" (don't ask how I came up with that prompt, I don't remember, it was months ago, lol) and ran with it.
I would be interested in (gentle--I'm better with criticism than I used to be, but I only ask that you be polite about it, don't just come right out and say "Well, that was awful," which I have heard in the past, lol) feedback and, as I enjoyed writing it, opinions as to whether anybody thinks it has "legs," so-to-speak, were I to work a real plot into it and try to pick it up and run with it. (If not, it's no real loss--I'm working on three different stories of three different genres right now.) Here it is.



My phone was ringing, quite loudly, I must add, in the middle of this otherwise eerily-silent supermarket, and I awkwardly balanced my loaf of bread and gallon of milk on the same arm my purse was now slipping from in order to fish my cell phone from my pocket and answer it. The caller I.D. showed that it was my best friend, Maxine, who was in L.A. now, having been offered some big shot record deal. I hadn't expected to be hearing from her anytime soon, and I frowned as I hit the "talk" button and held the phone to my ear, the loaf of bread now shifting precariously on my other arm. I briefly thought that I should have gotten a cart, after all.
"Hello?" I said slowly. Isn't it weird how people say hello with a question mark when they pick up the phone? It's as if they don't expect there to be anybody on the other line.
"Hi, June." There was a thickness to her voice, like she'd spoken mid-sob.
"Max?" I gave up on balancing my bread on top of the milk and let it drop to the floor. "What's going on?"
"Harry Styles walked by earlier, and I choked."
I tried not to laugh.
"You mean you couldn't find the words? I'm sure that happens a lot, you don't have to cry."
"No, June, I mean, I really choked. He was walking by just as I was taking a drink of my soda, and it just caught me off guard, so instead of saying hello, I sat there hacking my lungs up. By the time I could breathe again, he was gone."
I stifled a giggle as I imagined Max, this tiny redhead who couldn't have been more than five feet tall and a hundred pounds dripping wet, a soda in one hand, bent over coughing until her eyes watered while Harry Styles walked by, staring at her briefly as if she had three heads before choosing to mind his own business and going on his way.
"I can see how that might have been embarrassing, but he has that sort of affect on people. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"It's not that," Max sniffled, and I could almost see her dabbing at her running eyeliner with a tissue. "How am I ever going to make it in this business if seeing some guy I don't even like makes me choke? How often do you see stars at the Grammy awards forgetting how to speak or choking on some sort of beverage because they saw somebody famous? You don't. It doesn't happen."
I sighed, looking down at my fallen loaf of bread and noticing a pimply teenaged sales associate glancing disinterestedly in my direction, probably wondering if he should make the effort to leave the cash register and pick up the bread I dropped.
"Max, you haven't even recorded your first single," I said. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Harry probably didn't even see you."
"Oh, so you don't think he would have noticed me, even if I hadn't been choking?" Maxine's voice had taken on a defensive tone. Always going around in torn skinny jeans and colorful crop tops, dying her hair to achieve a more intense shade of red with lipstick to match, Max had this obsession with getting noticed. She would do fine in the pop music industry, I thought.
"Max, I'm trying to make you feel better, for Pete's sake," I sighed.
"I know," she said, softening. "It's just tough, you know? I'm out here all alone."
I thought of my own life, working two jobs, one at an overpriced department store and another at a rundown gas station, to pay the rent for a shoddy apartment in Chicago that I shared with only Tom Hanks, my iguana. I briefly considered dryly remarking to Maxine that I would gladly trade her, but thought better of it. Everybody's situation is different, and everybody has their own worries.
"I know, Max," I said. "Me, too.
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(I told you it was short, lol.)
 
UPDATE: I have created a Facebook fanpage for my writing where it can be viewed and read by anybody who has a Facebook account. I am working on posting all of the stories I currently have on Wattpad to this Facebook page one small segment at a time.

I gave thought to the suggestion of just posting excerpts here which do not contain potentially disturbing or mature material. I went through Crime of Passion and Hazzard. There is no such thing as an excerpt from those two stories that does not have potentially disturbing or mature material, lol, Crime of Passion is very short and quite disturbing throughout, even to me, the writer, and Hazzard only has two chapters so far, and while it is not explicit (it's mostly tongue-in-cheek sensuality, think Rocky Horror Picture Show, which doesn't do much for my case here and only serves to strengthen my thought that, in hindsight, I never should have made this thread, lol), does contain strongly suggestive themes which may be offensive to some.
In fact, this thread might be better off closed (any mods wanna do that for me, please??) and it may be better for me to seek readers elsewhere, as this is a family friendly website and I do not wish to rock the boat in any way. I had underestimated the amount of mature and disturbing content in my own recent work, to be honest.

However, anybody who is interested can find my work on the Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/SupremeQueenSaxon/

Thank you and I hope I have not upset anybody with my poor judgment!

All the love,
Liz
 
I can close it for thee. Thanks for being understanding and mature about this, Liz dear.
 
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