Popular Girl [Song]

Lila

Lila

New member
Popular Girl

By Lila

Can you hear her footsteps coming?
Can you hear her high-pitched voice a-humming?
And as she turns the corner
Can you see her blonde hair falling past her shoulder?
Can you see her high heeled shoes
Which must cost a thousand dollars each?
Do you see her boyfriend
Who looks like he belongs out on the beach?

You might feel jealously or hate towards her
Is she your idol?
Or your worst enemy?

Popular Girl
She seems to have looks, but no soul
All she lives for is money, boys, and trends
But what good is that in the end?
Is it worth trying to make her change her ways
Or should we just let her carry on like this?

So, I'm not finished yet XD But I kinda like it so far. Suggestions, comments, criticism, etc, is welcomed with open arms :D
 
I like it!!:D The only thing is I couldn't figure out the tune. Does it sound like another song's tune? I think I'd get it more if I got the beat, but I still like it.
 
Looked good, though as SO said, I couldn't actually figure out the tune.

"You might feel jealously or hate towards her
Is she your idol?
Or your worst enemy?"

Is that like the chorus? If it is, I don't see much connection between phrase 1 and 3, atleast no similarities. But hey, You said work under progress, so keep up the good work and I'm sure it'll be good ;)
 
It's Good But When You Get Near The Chorus And When You Wrote "you May Have Jealousy,or Hate Towards Her Take The Last Words After The Comma Out So The 1st And 3rd One Rhyme
 
Last edited:
i think it's really great and i think that it should stay exactly how it is (except if you're gonna add more)

and i dont know if anyone can really like tell you to change anything since we cant really hear it but i LOVE the words and i'm sure the tune is just as great!!
 
And as she turns the corner
Can you see her blonde hair falling past her shoulder?
Click to expand...

The rythem on this is a bit off, so I'd do a little re-arranging here, like so:

Can you see her turn the corner
Blonde hair falling past her shoulder?

And then, something similiar here:

Can you see her high heeled shoes
Which must cost a thousand dollars each?
Do you see her boyfriend
Who looks like he belongs out on the beach?
Click to expand...

To something like:
Do you see her jockey boyfriend, (add jockey to make it longer)
Looking like he lives on the beach? (omitting 'who looks like' and 'belongs' to shorten)


The chorus is good, but a bit choppy. I'd try messing around with it so it meshes better, something like:

Popular girl
You might hate her
is it worth trying to change her?
Is she your worst enemy, or your idol?
She seems to have looks, but no soul
All she lives for is money, boys, and trends
But what good is that in the end?
(or)
Or should we just let her carry on like this?

I actually thought you did a really good job at it. You said what you were trying to say very clearly, and it sounded nice. I hope you post the whole song when you're done with it!
 
Back
Top