Red Roses
New member
Well I decided to make a thread for my short stories rather than making a different thread every time. 
Even though I don't post my short stories often... But I've been writing more and more often so here we go.
I appreciate: comments, complaints, constructive criticism, anything! =D
Paint For a Broken Heart -- Page 1
The Bat -- Page 3
Eight Mistakes Too Many -- Page 3
The Baboon and the Frog -- Page 3
So here's my first story.
Paint For A Broken Heart
It was my first day of school – again. Mom had come to drop me off, which I was thankful for. Sure, I’m not a kid anymore, only 14, but I wanted to see a friendly face.
I stared out the window as my mom parked the car in front of my new school. I stared at it. It was a big brick building, and it looked forbidding.
“Will you be all right, Nicole?” my mom asked me, concern filling her eyes.
I turned to look at her. “Yes,” I said. She already had enough problems on her plate; I didn’t need to add more. After mom and dad had separated, years ago, mom kept moving from place to place; always searching for the greener grass.
I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. “Wait,” mom grabbed my hand. I turned to look at her. She seemed so small and fragile and she was always so close to tears these days. She hesitated. “Never mind. Have a good day, dear.”
I got a back in the car and gave her a big hug. “I love you, mom,” I said.
“Love you too,” she said, hugging back.
I pulled away. “I should go now. I’ll wait here for you, after school. School ends at 2:40pm. Don’t forget.” I got out of the car again.
“Don’t worry,” she said, smiling, tearfully.
I stood and watched her drive away. When the car was out of sight, I turned to face my new school and began the long walk up to the front door. What would everyone say? Would I make many friends? I was so deep in thought that I hadn’t realised I was standing by the front door. I hesitated and then stepped inside. Right in front of me was a huge staircase; leading up to the second floor and behind it was a huge window, with a nice view into the courtyard. On my immediate left was the main office and on my right was the library. Next to the library doors, stood a huge trophy case. I stepped further in, looking around me. Where were the hallways leading off to the rest of the first floor?
A lady with short brown hair and glasses stepped out of the main office. “Can I help you?” she asked.
“Um, uh, yeah,” I said. “Where are the hallways leading to the rest of the first floor?”
She looked confused. “Those ones?” she asked, pointing into the far right, and far left corners.
I blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t see them.” I felt stupid. It was my first day here, and already I was making a fool of myself.
She nodded and held out her hand and I shook it. “I’m Mrs Nantais, the principal,” she said. “Where’s your first class?”
I looked down at my schedule. “Period 1, Geography, R. Caldwell—”
“Room 119?” she interrupted. I nodded. She pointed to the hallway in the far-left corner. “Go through there, turn right, and go through the big double doors. The first door on your right will be room 119.”
I thanked her and slowly made my way down to my homeroom class. I stopped outside the door, with my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
Immediately all eyes turned on me. I stood, frozen. The class stared at me, and I stared at them. Why did the door have to be at the front of the class?
“Good morning,” said a short, little lady at the front of the class. She had shoulder length blonde hair that was just starting to turn grey in places, and she had a kind face. She looked more like she should be at home baking cookies than teaching.
“Uh, hi,” I said, finding my voice. “Are you Mrs Caldwell?”
“Yes, I am,” she said, nodding and smiling at me. “Are you new?”
I nodded. “My name is Nicole.”
I showed her my schedule and she told me to sit wherever I liked. I looked around the room, there were lots of empty seats. “We’re a small class,” Mrs Caldwell had said. I finally decided on a seat at the very back. As I made my way to my seat, a girl at the front of the class smiled at me. I didn’t smile back. Her smile faltered and she looked down and continued to do her work. What’s wrong with me, I thought. She’s being nice to me. Can’t I return the favour?
“Who would like to help Nicole, and tell her how things work here,” Mrs Caldwell asked the class. One of the girls raised her hand. “Alright, Kristina. You can sit in the empty seat next to her.”
The girl gathered her things and dumped them onto the desk next to mine. “My name is Kristina,” she said, smiling.
“I’m Nicole,” I said, smiling back. I looked around the room and noticed that the girl at the front of the class was watching me; she looked hurt. I looked back at Kristina, who was watching me closely.
“Just ignore her,” Kristina said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t want to become friends with people like Ellen. What a name! Ellen.” She made a face. “Her first day here, she bawled her eyes out. Just ignore her, I’ll be your friend.” She smiled.
“Alright,” I said. But something didn’t feel right. I had the odd feeling that Ellen was watching me again, but when I looked back at her, she had her head bent down and was quietly working.
aaand I'm not going to finish this short story just yet. I'm fixing the ending. It sounds a little odd. Besides, this short story is rather long.
Even though I don't post my short stories often... But I've been writing more and more often so here we go. I appreciate: comments, complaints, constructive criticism, anything! =D
Paint For a Broken Heart -- Page 1
The Bat -- Page 3
Eight Mistakes Too Many -- Page 3
The Baboon and the Frog -- Page 3
So here's my first story.
Paint For A Broken Heart
It was my first day of school – again. Mom had come to drop me off, which I was thankful for. Sure, I’m not a kid anymore, only 14, but I wanted to see a friendly face.
I stared out the window as my mom parked the car in front of my new school. I stared at it. It was a big brick building, and it looked forbidding.
“Will you be all right, Nicole?” my mom asked me, concern filling her eyes.
I turned to look at her. “Yes,” I said. She already had enough problems on her plate; I didn’t need to add more. After mom and dad had separated, years ago, mom kept moving from place to place; always searching for the greener grass.
I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. “Wait,” mom grabbed my hand. I turned to look at her. She seemed so small and fragile and she was always so close to tears these days. She hesitated. “Never mind. Have a good day, dear.”
I got a back in the car and gave her a big hug. “I love you, mom,” I said.
“Love you too,” she said, hugging back.
I pulled away. “I should go now. I’ll wait here for you, after school. School ends at 2:40pm. Don’t forget.” I got out of the car again.
“Don’t worry,” she said, smiling, tearfully.
I stood and watched her drive away. When the car was out of sight, I turned to face my new school and began the long walk up to the front door. What would everyone say? Would I make many friends? I was so deep in thought that I hadn’t realised I was standing by the front door. I hesitated and then stepped inside. Right in front of me was a huge staircase; leading up to the second floor and behind it was a huge window, with a nice view into the courtyard. On my immediate left was the main office and on my right was the library. Next to the library doors, stood a huge trophy case. I stepped further in, looking around me. Where were the hallways leading off to the rest of the first floor?
A lady with short brown hair and glasses stepped out of the main office. “Can I help you?” she asked.
“Um, uh, yeah,” I said. “Where are the hallways leading to the rest of the first floor?”
She looked confused. “Those ones?” she asked, pointing into the far right, and far left corners.
I blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t see them.” I felt stupid. It was my first day here, and already I was making a fool of myself.
She nodded and held out her hand and I shook it. “I’m Mrs Nantais, the principal,” she said. “Where’s your first class?”
I looked down at my schedule. “Period 1, Geography, R. Caldwell—”
“Room 119?” she interrupted. I nodded. She pointed to the hallway in the far-left corner. “Go through there, turn right, and go through the big double doors. The first door on your right will be room 119.”
I thanked her and slowly made my way down to my homeroom class. I stopped outside the door, with my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
Immediately all eyes turned on me. I stood, frozen. The class stared at me, and I stared at them. Why did the door have to be at the front of the class?
“Good morning,” said a short, little lady at the front of the class. She had shoulder length blonde hair that was just starting to turn grey in places, and she had a kind face. She looked more like she should be at home baking cookies than teaching.
“Uh, hi,” I said, finding my voice. “Are you Mrs Caldwell?”
“Yes, I am,” she said, nodding and smiling at me. “Are you new?”
I nodded. “My name is Nicole.”
I showed her my schedule and she told me to sit wherever I liked. I looked around the room, there were lots of empty seats. “We’re a small class,” Mrs Caldwell had said. I finally decided on a seat at the very back. As I made my way to my seat, a girl at the front of the class smiled at me. I didn’t smile back. Her smile faltered and she looked down and continued to do her work. What’s wrong with me, I thought. She’s being nice to me. Can’t I return the favour?
“Who would like to help Nicole, and tell her how things work here,” Mrs Caldwell asked the class. One of the girls raised her hand. “Alright, Kristina. You can sit in the empty seat next to her.”
The girl gathered her things and dumped them onto the desk next to mine. “My name is Kristina,” she said, smiling.
“I’m Nicole,” I said, smiling back. I looked around the room and noticed that the girl at the front of the class was watching me; she looked hurt. I looked back at Kristina, who was watching me closely.
“Just ignore her,” Kristina said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t want to become friends with people like Ellen. What a name! Ellen.” She made a face. “Her first day here, she bawled her eyes out. Just ignore her, I’ll be your friend.” She smiled.
“Alright,” I said. But something didn’t feel right. I had the odd feeling that Ellen was watching me again, but when I looked back at her, she had her head bent down and was quietly working.
aaand I'm not going to finish this short story just yet. I'm fixing the ending. It sounds a little odd. Besides, this short story is rather long.
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