sad but reallllly funny jokes

B

benny

New member
1: how do you make a cat bark?
A: you soak it in gas, and then throw a match at it and it goes "wooof!"

2: how do you make a dog meow?
A: freeze it, and then put it threw a table saw and it goes 'MMMMMeeeeoooowwwww!" :D

ahhh its so sad but i can't stop laughing!
 
benny said:
1: how do you make a cat bark?
A: you soak it in gas, and then throw a match at it and it goes "wooof!"

2: how do you make a dog meow?
A: freeze it, and then put it threw a table saw and it goes 'MMMMMeeeeoooowwwww!" :D

ahhh its so sad but i can't stop laughing!
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ROFLSHTHFO!!! (rofl so hard that head falls off) THOSE ARE HILARIOUS!!!
 
What did the flight attendant say to the vulture attempting to bring two dead racoons on board the plane?

"I'm sorry, sir, you're only allowed one carrion."
 
It's funny how much of humor is in seeing the usual done in an unusual way. Such as the man who was in a standoff with police and shouted: "One step closer and I'll blow my brain out!" Which is, actually, more technicaly correct. But oh the mental image! Like it's going to land--intact--on the sidewalk. SPLOT!

Or how about investigating a car bomb attack, holding up a fragment in a pair of tweezers... "Someone give me a bag. I found a smithereen!"

People say, "Be careful or you'll put your eye out!" As if you had one. Or "I'm keeping my eye on you." But they would never ever ever say, "Look at Billy, crying his eye out over Jane!"

How about the moderately good employee? "That new sales rep is really on his toe!"

They would never, for instance, praise Barishnikov or Nijinsky, two great ballet dancers, as having two right feet....

Marsha takes a different but highly successful approach to gardening. She has a green pinky.

People are often so startled that they can't believe their ears or their eyes. Ever ate ice cream that was so good you can't believe your tongue? Or smelled perfume so seductive that you can't believe your nostrils? Why are these parts of the body somehow more honest?
 
Chakal said:
It's funny how much of humor is in seeing the usual done in an unusual way. Such as the man who was in a standoff with police and shouted: "One step closer and I'll blow my brain out!" Which is, actually, more technicaly correct. But oh the mental image! Like it's going to land--intact--on the sidewalk. SPLOT!

Or how about investigating a car bomb attack, holding up a fragment in a pair of tweezers... "Someone give me a bag. I found a smithereen!"

People say, "Be careful or you'll put your eye out!" As if you had one. Or "I'm keeping my eye on you." But they would never ever ever say, "Look at Billy, crying his eye out over Jane!"

How about the moderately good employee? "That new sales rep is really on his toe!"

They would never, for instance, praise Barishnikov or Nijinsky, two great ballet dancers, as having two right feet....

Marsha takes a different but highly successful approach to gardening. She has a green pinky.

People are often so startled that they can't believe their ears or their eyes. Ever ate ice cream that was so good you can't believe your tongue? Or smelled perfume so seductive that you can't believe your nostrils? Why are these parts of the body somehow more honest?
Click to expand...
hmmm, I don' really know, mabye because god has made those other organs so that we can embrace his creation in other ways than just with our eyes.
 
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