Daughter-of-Aslan
New member
This is the only one of my younger adult (not quite kids) books that I've written that has nothing at all to do with God or Christ or anything related. It's simply a sweet story that I started writing as a dream journal entry and it came out like this. Feedback, please!!
My favorite place to sit and dream was on the ocean’s shore. Well, not the shore, precisely, but the rocks that topped an underwater cliff.
It was sunset, and the morning star had just slipped into its ocean bed, extinguishing its light for the evening. I sat with my skirts hiked up around my thighs, one knee to my chest while my other leg dangled over the edge, the lapping of the waves kissing my bared ankle.
In the distance, a pod of dolphins leapt and twisted playfully in the air, then disappeared into the waves only to reappear a few moments later. A more slender creature quickly followed the steps of the dance. Its gilded tail shone in the twilight like an abalone shell polished to perfection, and it twinkled like the winking stars that began to appear in the dark expanse overhead. They played and danced together, the dolphins and their graceful companion, showing off aerials that seemed to be rehearsed, unaware of their silent audience watching from the land. Slowly, ever so slowly, they drew nearer.
The mermaid was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, and I leaned forward to get a better look. Dozens of pearls were woven into hair of the purest spun gold. The tail extended long and flowing from her hips where a pair of legs should have been, the end thin and delicate like a butterfly’s wings, yet as fluent and graceful as an ostrich feather. The scales of her tail were of brilliant pinks, blues, and purples, colors swirling with her every move like a rippling oil-painted sunrise.
My footing slipped and my toes splashed the water as my hands shot to the rock below me to regain my balance. The performers immediately stopped and the dolphins scattered, leaping out into the open sea while the sea-maiden vanished beneath the water’s surface.
My lips tugged downward in a frown. It had been like heaven to watch such a beautiful and rare exchange; now it was gone.
I turned away to stand to my feet, but something disturbed the water, and I looked back. On hands and knees, I peered over the edge of the rock and stared down into the dark waters. My reflection stared back at me, curious and intense. The face shifted and the water rippled again. The face of the mermaid emerged and her head surfaced. I gasped, quickly sitting back on my heels. Now it was she who peered over the edge to look at me. Her eyes were the palest lavender and sparkled in the dim moonlight; it was as if two stars had fallen from the sky and landed beneath thick, ebony lashes. Her skin looked as smooth as porcelain, colored a soft green like the reeds and meadows that swayed beneath the ocean’s surface. She pulled herself out a little further and one hand slowly reached out. Her arms were painted with the same pink and purple scales as her tail, the tiny diamonds of skin creeping over the tops of her arms and shoulders and reaching around from behind to cover her stomach and chest. As she stretched out, her hand twisted until her palm faced forward, fingers splayed in her curiosity as she reached towards me. Nearly transparent skin hung between her fingers, no doubt a swimming aid in her world of water. I finally mirrored the movement and my fingers brushed timidly hers. Her skin was as slick as a frog’s back. I leaned closer, holding my breath as I pressed my palm against her own.
Her eyes were captivating.
To my utter surprise, she suddenly hissed! The one hand closed tightly around my wrist while her other shot out of the water and seized my elbow. Before I had the breath to scream, she yanked backwards and sent me tumbling into the dark, mysterious waves of the ocean.
The song of whales pulled my mind from the veil of unconsciousness that had fallen over me. I expected to find myself still on the rock over the ocean. My eyes opened and squinted to see. It was dark, and I could scarcely see my own hands, but I was determined to discover my whereabouts, as it was clear that I wasn’t still on the shore.
I was sprawled on something soft, but not like the mattresses that we’ve grown accustomed to. Whatever it was, it was quite damp. Feeling beyond where I lay, I started and snapped my hand back. Everything around me was under water! It wasn’t much, but it rose to my elbow as I reached down to the bottom beyond my seabed. The only piece above the water was the bed that I now sat on.
Seabed! My hands quickly groped for the edge of my somewhat dry platform, then followed its outline. It was wavy and ridged, but still smooth to the touch. As I followed it around, I found that it made almost a perfect circle except for the back where something had been attached. I rose to my knees so I could feel the back. It was the same shape and felt to be the same size as the first piece. It dawned on me and I sat back. Something had created a bed out of a giant, hinged shell!
From the depths of the water beyond, I was able to make out a faint glow hovering in the water, and it was slowly approaching, growing brighter by the minute.
Even before the light arrived, I was finally able to see the details of my surroundings. I was, indeed, in the middle of a shell, the soft bedding made of a dampened sea sponge. I was in a cave, just a small space leveled out on the rock to create a shelf. Beyond the end of the rock shelf, it completely dropped off and I could see no signs of other life besides the oncoming light. I held my breath and moved to the very back of the shell, nearly crawling up to sit upon its large hinge.
Shapes and shadows appeared and cleared, revealing two swimming silhouettes of mermaids. Due to my recent and rather unpleasant encounter, I shied away.
The light was a small cage filled with smaller plants and sea life that glowed softly in the dark, and the mermaid set this on the rock’s shelf. Her companion, however, wasn’t a maiden, but a man with a tail even longer than hers, colored in deep blues and greens. Was he her brother? Cousin? Husband? It was impossible to tell. They both stared at me; even after I turned my face away, I could feel their eyes on me. Once I heard the whale’s song again, I dared to look back. But it wasn’t a whale making the sound at all — it was the language spoken between the mermaid and her male companion. Even though they appeared to be whispering, I could easily hear them sing and click, sounding like a pair of chattering dolphins.
The mermaid turned her gaze back to me and hissed again, louder than the first time. The man looked at her sharply and in response, she dropped her head, almost shamefully. An expression that looked much like a glare was sent my way before she spun around and dove into the water.
He watched her go, then slowly turned back. One hand braced and flattened against the rock to hoist himself up; the other pulled a long spear up with him and laid it across his lap as found a sitting position on the ledge’s edge. Catching sight of the weapon, I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them as if trying to create a protective shield for myself. My face dropped and I rested my forehead on the tops of my knees.
For several moments, I heard nothing. I thought he might have left me alone and so I cautiously lifted my gaze, peering at the place he’d been sitting. He wasn’t there any longer; I relaxed.
A weight suddenly fell on my shoulder. I screamed and scuffled away, turning to see the merman sitting just inches away from where I had been. The spear he had been holding fell into his lap as he clapped his hands over his ears, cringing as the echo of my scream bounced off the walls of the cave.
Leaving him on the shell bed, I leapt to my feet and trudged through the shallow water that covered the ledge. I stood on the edge and looked down, wondering if I had the courage to jump. Without pausing to see what the merman guard was doing, I dove in.
(continued...)
My favorite place to sit and dream was on the ocean’s shore. Well, not the shore, precisely, but the rocks that topped an underwater cliff.
It was sunset, and the morning star had just slipped into its ocean bed, extinguishing its light for the evening. I sat with my skirts hiked up around my thighs, one knee to my chest while my other leg dangled over the edge, the lapping of the waves kissing my bared ankle.
In the distance, a pod of dolphins leapt and twisted playfully in the air, then disappeared into the waves only to reappear a few moments later. A more slender creature quickly followed the steps of the dance. Its gilded tail shone in the twilight like an abalone shell polished to perfection, and it twinkled like the winking stars that began to appear in the dark expanse overhead. They played and danced together, the dolphins and their graceful companion, showing off aerials that seemed to be rehearsed, unaware of their silent audience watching from the land. Slowly, ever so slowly, they drew nearer.
The mermaid was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, and I leaned forward to get a better look. Dozens of pearls were woven into hair of the purest spun gold. The tail extended long and flowing from her hips where a pair of legs should have been, the end thin and delicate like a butterfly’s wings, yet as fluent and graceful as an ostrich feather. The scales of her tail were of brilliant pinks, blues, and purples, colors swirling with her every move like a rippling oil-painted sunrise.
My footing slipped and my toes splashed the water as my hands shot to the rock below me to regain my balance. The performers immediately stopped and the dolphins scattered, leaping out into the open sea while the sea-maiden vanished beneath the water’s surface.
My lips tugged downward in a frown. It had been like heaven to watch such a beautiful and rare exchange; now it was gone.
I turned away to stand to my feet, but something disturbed the water, and I looked back. On hands and knees, I peered over the edge of the rock and stared down into the dark waters. My reflection stared back at me, curious and intense. The face shifted and the water rippled again. The face of the mermaid emerged and her head surfaced. I gasped, quickly sitting back on my heels. Now it was she who peered over the edge to look at me. Her eyes were the palest lavender and sparkled in the dim moonlight; it was as if two stars had fallen from the sky and landed beneath thick, ebony lashes. Her skin looked as smooth as porcelain, colored a soft green like the reeds and meadows that swayed beneath the ocean’s surface. She pulled herself out a little further and one hand slowly reached out. Her arms were painted with the same pink and purple scales as her tail, the tiny diamonds of skin creeping over the tops of her arms and shoulders and reaching around from behind to cover her stomach and chest. As she stretched out, her hand twisted until her palm faced forward, fingers splayed in her curiosity as she reached towards me. Nearly transparent skin hung between her fingers, no doubt a swimming aid in her world of water. I finally mirrored the movement and my fingers brushed timidly hers. Her skin was as slick as a frog’s back. I leaned closer, holding my breath as I pressed my palm against her own.
Her eyes were captivating.
To my utter surprise, she suddenly hissed! The one hand closed tightly around my wrist while her other shot out of the water and seized my elbow. Before I had the breath to scream, she yanked backwards and sent me tumbling into the dark, mysterious waves of the ocean.
The song of whales pulled my mind from the veil of unconsciousness that had fallen over me. I expected to find myself still on the rock over the ocean. My eyes opened and squinted to see. It was dark, and I could scarcely see my own hands, but I was determined to discover my whereabouts, as it was clear that I wasn’t still on the shore.
I was sprawled on something soft, but not like the mattresses that we’ve grown accustomed to. Whatever it was, it was quite damp. Feeling beyond where I lay, I started and snapped my hand back. Everything around me was under water! It wasn’t much, but it rose to my elbow as I reached down to the bottom beyond my seabed. The only piece above the water was the bed that I now sat on.
Seabed! My hands quickly groped for the edge of my somewhat dry platform, then followed its outline. It was wavy and ridged, but still smooth to the touch. As I followed it around, I found that it made almost a perfect circle except for the back where something had been attached. I rose to my knees so I could feel the back. It was the same shape and felt to be the same size as the first piece. It dawned on me and I sat back. Something had created a bed out of a giant, hinged shell!
From the depths of the water beyond, I was able to make out a faint glow hovering in the water, and it was slowly approaching, growing brighter by the minute.
Even before the light arrived, I was finally able to see the details of my surroundings. I was, indeed, in the middle of a shell, the soft bedding made of a dampened sea sponge. I was in a cave, just a small space leveled out on the rock to create a shelf. Beyond the end of the rock shelf, it completely dropped off and I could see no signs of other life besides the oncoming light. I held my breath and moved to the very back of the shell, nearly crawling up to sit upon its large hinge.
Shapes and shadows appeared and cleared, revealing two swimming silhouettes of mermaids. Due to my recent and rather unpleasant encounter, I shied away.
The light was a small cage filled with smaller plants and sea life that glowed softly in the dark, and the mermaid set this on the rock’s shelf. Her companion, however, wasn’t a maiden, but a man with a tail even longer than hers, colored in deep blues and greens. Was he her brother? Cousin? Husband? It was impossible to tell. They both stared at me; even after I turned my face away, I could feel their eyes on me. Once I heard the whale’s song again, I dared to look back. But it wasn’t a whale making the sound at all — it was the language spoken between the mermaid and her male companion. Even though they appeared to be whispering, I could easily hear them sing and click, sounding like a pair of chattering dolphins.
The mermaid turned her gaze back to me and hissed again, louder than the first time. The man looked at her sharply and in response, she dropped her head, almost shamefully. An expression that looked much like a glare was sent my way before she spun around and dove into the water.
He watched her go, then slowly turned back. One hand braced and flattened against the rock to hoist himself up; the other pulled a long spear up with him and laid it across his lap as found a sitting position on the ledge’s edge. Catching sight of the weapon, I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them as if trying to create a protective shield for myself. My face dropped and I rested my forehead on the tops of my knees.
For several moments, I heard nothing. I thought he might have left me alone and so I cautiously lifted my gaze, peering at the place he’d been sitting. He wasn’t there any longer; I relaxed.
A weight suddenly fell on my shoulder. I screamed and scuffled away, turning to see the merman sitting just inches away from where I had been. The spear he had been holding fell into his lap as he clapped his hands over his ears, cringing as the echo of my scream bounced off the walls of the cave.
Leaving him on the shell bed, I leapt to my feet and trudged through the shallow water that covered the ledge. I stood on the edge and looked down, wondering if I had the courage to jump. Without pausing to see what the merman guard was doing, I dove in.
(continued...)
