Shield Maiden

Wylla

Wylla

New member
This story is based upon LOTR it's about Eowyn and Faramir's daughter Elineth. It's my first story so i'm sorry if its a little corny!:)

Eowyn and Faramir married not long after King Aragorn's coronation ceremony and were a merry and happy couple. They decided that they would stay in Minis Tirith so Faramir could be Captain of the army and one of the King's advisors.

Prologue

The cold silence of the dark night was broken by a loud cry. it peirced through Faramir's veins and made him jump up form where he was sitting on the balcony of north hall. The cry wasn't a cry of alarm or fear it was a cry of new life- the life of his new child. Suddenly, Evrim bursed through the door and explained to him that the baby was a girl and that Eowyn wanted to see him. Faramir rushed through the door and headed down the hall. How excited he was to learn of his new little one! He couldn't wait to see her, to hold her in his arms. Finally he made it to the room where Eowyn was and went inside. As soon as he was inside he saw her-His daughter the one who he hoped he would be able to bounce on his knee to tell tales of excitement to to love and to charish she was only a few feet away. "Thank goodness you are here! Eowyn said very tired. She is beautiful is she not?" As she said this she handed the baby to Faramir."Yes, she is the most beautiful creature in Minis Tirith besides you of course! We shall call her Elineth, wich means "One who is beautiful."
So the child grew and became wiser and more beautiful every day. She had the exact look of her mother but had the stature and tan skin like her father.

chapter 1
Elineth woke in the middle of the night. She couldn't sleep and was very excited. tommorrow was to be her 14 birthday, the day her father promised her that he would get her a horse. She had always loved horses form the day she had seen the first one. Her mother said that she loved horses because she had Rohan blood in her veins. How she longed to see the plains of Rohan! But, with the enemy from the North advancing her father had to stay and help the army and advise the king. He was very wise. Elineth hoped to become as wise as him someday.
She couldn't sleep anymore with the excited thaughts about her horse, like what color it would be,or how it would love her and what it would feel like to be on it's back.
So she got up and went to the night stand and washed her face then went to the window to look out and see if twilight was coming. She loved her window because she could see the market and the road so if ever there were visitors she was the first of the house to see them.
She excitedy put on a brown tunic and her moon necklace from her mother and sat down by her window. She had gotten the necklace from her mother during last year's harvest celebration.
After rubbing a finger over the smooth silver moon around her neck she sat down by her window and thaught about the day to come.
 
Does no one like my story?
Well heres another chapter.
chapter 2
As Elineth sat by her window thinking about what the day was going to bring she finally dozed off and was asleep for about an hour before she awoke with a start. She heard hoof beats on the road coming this way. Who would be coming towards her house at this hour of the night and making such a clatter? She looked out her window and strained her eyes to see past the darkness and try to see who was coming. She saw three riders on fome flekked horses coming up to the gate. "They must have pushed they're horse hard they look tired." She thaught to her self. They halted and the rider in the lead called out, "Open the gates! Make haste we are here on an ergent matter to speak to Captain Faramir!" "Just who goes there? I must tell my master who is calling at such an early hour in the morning the sun hasn't even risen! not for another two hours i expect" "I am a close friend of Farmir. You may tell him Captain Balinor is calling. He will know who i am." After hearing this the gatekeeper, Beleg opened the gate. The lead rider looked about as tall as her father and had the voice of one who was in charge but Elineth could not see his face for he wore a dark brown cloak over his face. The other two riders were following him inside the gate now. The second rider was tall and thin and had a perfect seat as he rode his horse. They all had the dark cloaks on so it was impossible to see any of their faces. The third rider Elineth could not see for he was riding directly behind the second one. She jumped up and was just about to go outside of her room when her Mother came in and said, "Elineth! you should be in bed! I have come to wake you for we have unexpected company and you must hurry to get ready for we must prepare a meal for your father's guests." Elineth hurridly put on her boots and ran a brush through her hair. She was somewhat dissepointed at not being wished a happy birthday from her mother but she knew that these visitors were important to her father so therefore she must be patient and obedient in helping her mother.
As they rushed through the hall Eowyn said, "My darling, do not for one minute think that we have forgotten your birthday! You father personally told me that we would celebrate your birthday this evening at supper. I am very proud of you that you did not complain about you birthday but got up right away and obeyed me." As she said this, she gave Elineth a hug and a kiss and continued down the hall. "Thank you mother. I'm trying to be more like you everyday." A smile came to her lips as she said this and she couldn't help a little shiver of exitement at thinking of the birthday celebration later that day.
 
well, i like it:) it's good written and i can't wait to read more:D

Wylla said:
She saw three riders on fome flekked horses coming up to the gate. "They must have pushed they're horse hard they look tired." She thaught to her self. They halted and the rider in the lead called out, "Open the gates! Make haste we are here on an ergent matter to speak to Captain Faramir!" "Just who goes there? I must tell my master who is calling at such an early hour in the morning the sun hasn't even risen! not for another two hours i expect" "I am a close friend of Farmir. You may tell him Captain Balinor is calling. He will know who i am."
Click to expand...
if i may give some critisism: i was a bit confused about who was saying what here.
 
You've actually spelled several words wrong and your punctuation is quite bad.
Sorry, it drives me nuts when ppl do that.
Which one is easier to read and understand:

ONE:
As Elineth sat by her window thinking about what the day was going to bring she finally dozed off and was asleep for about an hour before she awoke with a start. She heard hoof beats on the road coming this way. Who would be coming towards her house at this hour of the night and making such a clatter? She looked out her window and strained her eyes to see past the darkness and try to see who was coming. She saw three riders on fome flekked horses coming up to the gate. "They must have pushed they're horse hard they look tired." She thaught to her self. They halted and the rider in the lead called out, "Open the gates! Make haste we are here on an ergent matter to speak to Captain Faramir!" "Just who goes there? I must tell my master who is calling at such an early hour in the morning the sun hasn't even risen! not for another two hours i expect" "I am a close friend of Farmir. You may tell him Captain Balinor is calling. He will know who i am."

TWO:
As Elineth sat by her window thinking about what the day was going to bring, she finally dozed off and was asleep for about an hour before she awoke with a start.
She heard hoof beats on the road coming this way. Who would be coming towards her house at this hour of the night and making such a clatter?
She looked out her window and strained her eyes to see past the darkness and try to see who was coming. She saw three riders on foam flecked horses coming up to the gate.
"They must have pushed they're horse hard; they look tired." she thought to her self. They halted and the rider in the lead called out,
"Open the gates! Make haste; we are here on an urgent matter to speak to Captain Faramir!"
"Just who goes there? I must tell my master who is calling at such an early hour in the morning; the sun hasn't even risen! Not for another two hours I expect"
"I am a close friend of Farmir. You may tell him Captain Balinor is calling. He will know who I am."

I edited "TWO", just by adding som punctuation marks, correcting the spelling, making some paragraphs and andd a capital/lowercase.

I PROMISE I'm not trying to be mean; So Sorry.
 
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