NarniaFan95
Active member
Star Wars jokes. I found them on starwarsdotcom.com. They're great.
Palpatine is zapping Luke, and Luke says, "Father, please! It tickles!!!"
Two Stormtroopers walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
After Anakin is done dueling with Dooku, he says, "Very good, let me give you a hand."
Lucas gets his films mixed up... "Episode III: Vaders of the Lost Gundark"
_______________________________________________
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinise restaurant and Luke's having trouble.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke." (I LOVE that one!)
Yoda and Obi-Wan walked into a bar and bought a 5 dollar drink.
Yoda, seeing that he only had 4 dollars asked Obi-Wan, "Have a dollar do you? A little short I am."
Two droids were talking.
One says to the other, "Did you beat the Wookiee at Dejarikk?"
And the other answers, "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."
One day Luke gets fed up with life as a farmer so he goes to see Old Ben the local magician.
Luke: Ben I'm really fed up being a farmer can you turn me into something else?
Ben: Like what?
Luke: Well I guess it would be cool to be a Dewback.
Ben: Ok but only if you're sure.
Luke: I'm sure all right but let me go off and have one last drink as a human.
Luke goes off to have his drink.
Owen and Beru are getting worried so they go and see Old Ben to see if he knows where Luke is.
Owen: Hey, Ben, have you seen Luke today?
Ben: Yes. He's gone for a drink but he won't be Dewback until later.
______________________________________________________________
Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.
Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.
Q: What do Whipids say when they kiss?
A: Ouch.
Q: Why does Leia wear buns on her head?
A: In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting.
Q: Why did the Stormtrooper start jumping up and down?
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.
Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A bow TIE.
Q: Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
A: To get to the other dementia.
Q: Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.
Q: How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.
Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.
Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: Because the chickens Forced him to.
Q: What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
A: The outside.
Q: Who tries to be a Jedi?
A: Obi-Wannabe
Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.
Q: What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
A: It gets wet.
Q: Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?
A: So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"
Q: As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?
A: "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to get a new chronometer.
Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A: Because he's always making new friends.
Q: What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
A: Baby Jawas.
Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.
Q: Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
A: They're afraid of whiplash.
Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.
Q: What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
A: The Ackbar.
Q: How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
A: He'd Wedge himself in.
Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!
Q: How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
A: None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.
Q: What do Ithorians put things in?
A: Jar Jars.
Q: Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
A: Do well, you will do!
___________________________________________________________
YOU MAY BE ADDICTED TO STAR WARS IF....
1. You've ever quoted one of the characters without realizing it.
2. You've ever spent all your paycheck/allowance on Star Wars.
3. You camped out in line for AOTC or TPM.
4. Your room would be practically empty if your Star Wars collection was gone.
5. You go Trick-or-Treating as a Star Wars character every year.
6. You've sent Robin Gurland a letter.
7. You could tell someone a character's entire biography and all their quotes in the movies, but you don't have a clue about the 'real world'.
(note: If someone knows what this 'real world' thing I keep hearing about is, please email me)
8. You could name 10 Star Wars websites off the top of your head.
9. You accidently call a gun a blaster.
10. You can't resist using anything long and skinny as a lightsaber. (ie. flashlight, stick, umbrella, etc.)
11. You know George Lucas's address, but not your own.
12. You could quote all the current episodes.
13. You could look at anything and find something Star Warsy about it.
14. You've ever been called 'narrow-minded' because of your obsession.
15. You're fan rank is "Obsessive, die-hard, hard-core Star Wars fanboy/fangirl freak".
16. Your wardrobe consists of Star Wars costumes and Star Wars shirts and hats.
17. You've ever listened to a Star Wars soundtrack and could tell what part of the movie it's at, who's in that scene, and all the quotes in that scene.
18. You're wallpaper is either screenthemes or Star Wars.
19. You're screensaver is Star Wars.
20. The people at the toy store/comic book store/software store/book store know you by name.
21. You've ever been sent after something in a store you've never been in before and accidently end up at the Star Wars stuff.
22. You enter a store for the first time and find the Star Wars stuff immediately without hardly looking.
23. You can tell the difference between Hasbro and Kenner action figures.
24. You jump anyone who says something remotely wrong. ("It's pronounced Obi-Wan, not Obi-Wan.")
25. You started you EP III countdown on May 16, 2002.
26. You were at Midnight Madness.
27. You got in trouble with the police for 'disturbing the peace' on May 16th.
28. You're an adult and still have Star Wars sheets.
29. You cried when your favorite character was killed. (if they're still alive, be thankful...)
30. You've seen AOTC more then 5 times.
31. You've written at least one fanfic.
32. You've ever been called "the Star Wars fan" by someone who's forgotten your name.
33. You know your Star Wars name and have picked out a Star Wars address.
34. You can speak a Star Wars language fluently/almost fluently/pretty well. (H'chu apenkie! Gutan anolia!)
35. You can read and write Aurebesh.
36. People have trouble finding you a Star Wars gift because they can't remember what you already have.
37. You've ever sent the people at starwars.com an email correcting something.
38. You have over 5 starwars.com Cargo Bay 'Have' pages.
39. You know where all the 1138 and 327 references are in the movies. (btw, if you found them in ROTJ and/or AOTC, email me)
40. You know the meaning of 1138 and 327.
41. Your website is over 50% Star Wars.
42. You're a member of the 501st Squadron.
43. You have a Star Wars hair do/cut. ("Leia buns? Well, they're hard to keep in place, but they're easy to make." -Me)
44. You scream when the power goes out while you're watching an episode.
45. You get a job at the theater so you can see AOTC more/cheaper.
46. You don't see other movies in the theater for fear they'll top Star Wars in the box-office.
47. You've ever gotten into a fight with a Trekkie.
48. You hate Titanic.
49. Someone tells you they have a surprise for you and you're first thought is Star Wars.
50. The only way to punish you is to take away your Star Wars movies.
51. You sat in shock after seeing the Clone Wars trailer.
52. Your job is Star Wars related.
53. You went to see a movie in the theater only to walk out after the Star War trailer was over.
54. You cover the Star Trek magazines with Star Wars Insider everytime you're in a store.
55. You plan your calander around Star Wars.
56. You emailed the Imax theater nearest every week to ask if they were getting AOTC.
57. You see a movie and think you like it until the Star Trek reference pops up, then you dislike it. (*cough*Time Machine*cough*)
58. You've started saving money now for Celebration III.
59. You've flown overseas to see a new episode a day earlier.
60. You read this in hopes you were over half the descriptions on this page.
61. You named/are planning to name your kids after Star Wars characters.
62. Your significant other has ever been jealous because of your obsession with a Star Wars character.
63. You have a Star Wars license plate.
64. You've had more then 5 Star Wars dreams.
65. Starwars.com is your homepage.
66. After having come out of a bathroom you say, "I thought they smelled bad on the outside".
Palpatine is zapping Luke, and Luke says, "Father, please! It tickles!!!"
Two Stormtroopers walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
After Anakin is done dueling with Dooku, he says, "Very good, let me give you a hand."
Lucas gets his films mixed up... "Episode III: Vaders of the Lost Gundark"
_______________________________________________
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinise restaurant and Luke's having trouble.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke." (I LOVE that one!)
Yoda and Obi-Wan walked into a bar and bought a 5 dollar drink.
Yoda, seeing that he only had 4 dollars asked Obi-Wan, "Have a dollar do you? A little short I am."
Two droids were talking.
One says to the other, "Did you beat the Wookiee at Dejarikk?"
And the other answers, "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."
One day Luke gets fed up with life as a farmer so he goes to see Old Ben the local magician.
Luke: Ben I'm really fed up being a farmer can you turn me into something else?
Ben: Like what?
Luke: Well I guess it would be cool to be a Dewback.
Ben: Ok but only if you're sure.
Luke: I'm sure all right but let me go off and have one last drink as a human.
Luke goes off to have his drink.
Owen and Beru are getting worried so they go and see Old Ben to see if he knows where Luke is.
Owen: Hey, Ben, have you seen Luke today?
Ben: Yes. He's gone for a drink but he won't be Dewback until later.
______________________________________________________________
Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.
Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.
Q: What do Whipids say when they kiss?
A: Ouch.
Q: Why does Leia wear buns on her head?
A: In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting.
Q: Why did the Stormtrooper start jumping up and down?
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.
Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A bow TIE.
Q: Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
A: To get to the other dementia.
Q: Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.
Q: How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.
Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.
Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: Because the chickens Forced him to.
Q: What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
A: The outside.
Q: Who tries to be a Jedi?
A: Obi-Wannabe
Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.
Q: What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
A: It gets wet.
Q: Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?
A: So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"
Q: As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?
A: "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to get a new chronometer.
Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A: Because he's always making new friends.
Q: What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
A: Baby Jawas.
Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.
Q: Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
A: They're afraid of whiplash.
Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.
Q: What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
A: The Ackbar.
Q: How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
A: He'd Wedge himself in.
Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!
Q: How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
A: None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.
Q: What do Ithorians put things in?
A: Jar Jars.
Q: Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
A: Do well, you will do!
___________________________________________________________
YOU MAY BE ADDICTED TO STAR WARS IF....
1. You've ever quoted one of the characters without realizing it.
2. You've ever spent all your paycheck/allowance on Star Wars.
3. You camped out in line for AOTC or TPM.
4. Your room would be practically empty if your Star Wars collection was gone.
5. You go Trick-or-Treating as a Star Wars character every year.
6. You've sent Robin Gurland a letter.
7. You could tell someone a character's entire biography and all their quotes in the movies, but you don't have a clue about the 'real world'.
(note: If someone knows what this 'real world' thing I keep hearing about is, please email me)
8. You could name 10 Star Wars websites off the top of your head.
9. You accidently call a gun a blaster.
10. You can't resist using anything long and skinny as a lightsaber. (ie. flashlight, stick, umbrella, etc.)
11. You know George Lucas's address, but not your own.
12. You could quote all the current episodes.
13. You could look at anything and find something Star Warsy about it.
14. You've ever been called 'narrow-minded' because of your obsession.
15. You're fan rank is "Obsessive, die-hard, hard-core Star Wars fanboy/fangirl freak".
16. Your wardrobe consists of Star Wars costumes and Star Wars shirts and hats.
17. You've ever listened to a Star Wars soundtrack and could tell what part of the movie it's at, who's in that scene, and all the quotes in that scene.
18. You're wallpaper is either screenthemes or Star Wars.
19. You're screensaver is Star Wars.
20. The people at the toy store/comic book store/software store/book store know you by name.
21. You've ever been sent after something in a store you've never been in before and accidently end up at the Star Wars stuff.
22. You enter a store for the first time and find the Star Wars stuff immediately without hardly looking.
23. You can tell the difference between Hasbro and Kenner action figures.
24. You jump anyone who says something remotely wrong. ("It's pronounced Obi-Wan, not Obi-Wan.")
25. You started you EP III countdown on May 16, 2002.
26. You were at Midnight Madness.
27. You got in trouble with the police for 'disturbing the peace' on May 16th.
28. You're an adult and still have Star Wars sheets.
29. You cried when your favorite character was killed. (if they're still alive, be thankful...)
30. You've seen AOTC more then 5 times.
31. You've written at least one fanfic.
32. You've ever been called "the Star Wars fan" by someone who's forgotten your name.
33. You know your Star Wars name and have picked out a Star Wars address.
34. You can speak a Star Wars language fluently/almost fluently/pretty well. (H'chu apenkie! Gutan anolia!)
35. You can read and write Aurebesh.
36. People have trouble finding you a Star Wars gift because they can't remember what you already have.
37. You've ever sent the people at starwars.com an email correcting something.
38. You have over 5 starwars.com Cargo Bay 'Have' pages.
39. You know where all the 1138 and 327 references are in the movies. (btw, if you found them in ROTJ and/or AOTC, email me)
40. You know the meaning of 1138 and 327.
41. Your website is over 50% Star Wars.
42. You're a member of the 501st Squadron.
43. You have a Star Wars hair do/cut. ("Leia buns? Well, they're hard to keep in place, but they're easy to make." -Me)
44. You scream when the power goes out while you're watching an episode.
45. You get a job at the theater so you can see AOTC more/cheaper.
46. You don't see other movies in the theater for fear they'll top Star Wars in the box-office.
47. You've ever gotten into a fight with a Trekkie.
48. You hate Titanic.
49. Someone tells you they have a surprise for you and you're first thought is Star Wars.
50. The only way to punish you is to take away your Star Wars movies.
51. You sat in shock after seeing the Clone Wars trailer.
52. Your job is Star Wars related.
53. You went to see a movie in the theater only to walk out after the Star War trailer was over.
54. You cover the Star Trek magazines with Star Wars Insider everytime you're in a store.
55. You plan your calander around Star Wars.
56. You emailed the Imax theater nearest every week to ask if they were getting AOTC.
57. You see a movie and think you like it until the Star Trek reference pops up, then you dislike it. (*cough*Time Machine*cough*)
58. You've started saving money now for Celebration III.
59. You've flown overseas to see a new episode a day earlier.
60. You read this in hopes you were over half the descriptions on this page.
61. You named/are planning to name your kids after Star Wars characters.
62. Your significant other has ever been jealous because of your obsession with a Star Wars character.
63. You have a Star Wars license plate.
64. You've had more then 5 Star Wars dreams.
65. Starwars.com is your homepage.
66. After having come out of a bathroom you say, "I thought they smelled bad on the outside".
* 
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