Laurel
Member
So, my brother and I were listening to the radio and we heard a commercial for anti-aging cream, and it reminded me of a commercial I had seen for shampoo that “takes 5 years off your hair!” So...(what follows is our actual thought process and ideas, in order of how they occurred)
What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will their hair disappear?
What about if we have shampoo that puts 5 years on your hair! Then, you could put it on a baby four times and he’d have a purple mohawk! But, his head would be too small for it, so it would be hovering!!! You could shave off your hair, then grow it back, then shave it off, then grow it back, forever! And then you would have a mountain of hair, and you could knit something. “Yes, this world-record-sized tent? I made it all from my own hair, and in five minutes, too!”
And then...Do it to a sheep! The world would only ever need one sheep ever again! It would be amazing. So, say you had a five-year-old sheep and then you started washing it with shampoo that took five years off its hair and then shearing it all the time, 24-7. We would have infinite wool! But what happens when it gets to be 10? Does it have no hair, since at 5 it had no hair when we shaved it? Or does it now have the hair it had 10 years ago? Hmmm...
Or, you could add five years onto your hair over and over and over until you see what your hair will look like when you’re 25, 55, 75, 105, or 555!
What about anti-aging cream? The stuff that “takes five years off you!”
What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will it disappear? and, more importantly Will it reappear after five years? Or three? Will it reappear as a baby after 3 years, or will it reappear as a two-year-old in 5 years?
We can make a delayed-reaction army! Make specifically tailored doses so that everyone turns -5, and then, in five years, they all reappear!
I am telling you, this is the future. Infinite sheep, plus delayed reaction armies! We were bored today, so we invented all of these things. Anyone want to be part of our first clinical trials? At your own risk, of course.
--A news release from Laurel, now aged 4, and Joseph, now aged -3 (we tried it once too many on him...)
P.S. You probably shouldn’t tell the SWAT team, what with how they already have it in for me with the pixy stix and all...
What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will their hair disappear?
What about if we have shampoo that puts 5 years on your hair! Then, you could put it on a baby four times and he’d have a purple mohawk! But, his head would be too small for it, so it would be hovering!!! You could shave off your hair, then grow it back, then shave it off, then grow it back, forever! And then you would have a mountain of hair, and you could knit something. “Yes, this world-record-sized tent? I made it all from my own hair, and in five minutes, too!”
And then...Do it to a sheep! The world would only ever need one sheep ever again! It would be amazing. So, say you had a five-year-old sheep and then you started washing it with shampoo that took five years off its hair and then shearing it all the time, 24-7. We would have infinite wool! But what happens when it gets to be 10? Does it have no hair, since at 5 it had no hair when we shaved it? Or does it now have the hair it had 10 years ago? Hmmm...
Or, you could add five years onto your hair over and over and over until you see what your hair will look like when you’re 25, 55, 75, 105, or 555!
What about anti-aging cream? The stuff that “takes five years off you!”
What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will it disappear? and, more importantly Will it reappear after five years? Or three? Will it reappear as a baby after 3 years, or will it reappear as a two-year-old in 5 years?
We can make a delayed-reaction army! Make specifically tailored doses so that everyone turns -5, and then, in five years, they all reappear!
I am telling you, this is the future. Infinite sheep, plus delayed reaction armies! We were bored today, so we invented all of these things. Anyone want to be part of our first clinical trials? At your own risk, of course.
--A news release from Laurel, now aged 4, and Joseph, now aged -3 (we tried it once too many on him...)
P.S. You probably shouldn’t tell the SWAT team, what with how they already have it in for me with the pixy stix and all...
