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Miss Tumnus

Miss Tumnus

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So I'm trying out a new concept here. Writing itself isn't really the problem, but I'm not very good at storylines. So here's the deal: I write a piece, then I ask you guys a question about the story and I will use the answer I find most interesting or useful to continue my story.
Also, spelling suggestions are welcome..

I don't really have time to write right now, but I will post the first part of the story ASAP
 
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I have one request IN ADVANCE: please don't make this still ANOTHER story about a 13-year-old girl who can massacre ten 300-pound men without even breathing hard afterward. That's kind of been done on TDL already...and done...and done...and done...AND done....
 
Haha! No, that was not what I had in mind... And if you don't want it to be that way, than you will have to give me better answers... :D
OK, so here it comes:

Will sighed and looked at his watch. The bus was late again. Actually he just wanted to go home. He was going to the swimming pool to meet his friends, but he really didn't feel like doing that. He was just thinking of a good excuse not to go, when he heard some commotion behind him. Several people on the sidewalk gave indignant shrieks, but Will couldn't seem to figure out what they were so upset about. ----------

I'M SORRY, I GOT TO GO. I WILL EDIT THE STORY TONIGHT

EDIT: I had almost finished this part of the story when I had to log in again and the I lost that part!! *uses nasty word*
 
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My first impulse is that the commotion would be caused by someone, perhaps while drunk, driving a car onto the sidewalk. The outcries being "indignant," rather than "terrified," suggests that no one was physically injured by the car; but maybe it caused some comedy-style consequences, like a pedestrian falling into a park fountain when dodging the car. The driver could be one of your hero's friends.
 
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