A True Story...

Red Roses

New member
OK, I know this isn't the best thing I ever wrote, but my moms friend was telling my mom about it last night and I couldn't get it out of my head. So I decided to write about it. It's based on a true story, but I had to change some things to make sure that the family could keep their privacy, and to make the story work.



Tuesday March 3, 1996
I’m sitting here in my room. It’s nighttime and mommy thinks I’m sleeping. I can hear her in the next room, crying. I still don’t understand what’s going on. Mommy says that Uncle Joe is dead. But no, he’s not. I saw him this morning. But wait! I’m not making much sense am I? This is the first time I’m writing in a diary. My friend, Liz, has a diary and she started off by talking about herself. Maybe I should do that. Well, my name is Hannah, and today was my 8th birthday. Uncle Joe was the one, who gave me this diary, so how can he be dead? Mommy says I’m too young to understand but I don’t think so. After all, I am 8 years old. This birthday was just like any other, except for one little thing. It’s bothering me, and mommy says writing about things helps, so I’ll write it down in here.
I woke up this morning and ran into the kitchen. My presents were piled up on the table. I love birthdays and getting presents! Mommy was serving breakfast to my Uncle Joe and my Uncle Danny. They have been living with us ever since daddy left us. My mom came over, hugged me, and wished me a happy birthday. I sat down in the empty seat next to Uncle Joe, who ruffled my hair. I like Uncle Joe more than I like Uncle Danny. Uncle Danny is well known for his temper and his angry outbursts. Well, anyway, mommy made pancakes for me, because she knows I like them. After breakfast, I opened my presents. One from each mommy, Uncle Joe, and Uncle Danny. I’m now allowed to invite friends over, because Uncle Danny doesn’t like kids and we can’t go out for my birthday because we’ve been kind of poor since daddy left. Mommy got me a new book; I forget what it’s called but I can’t wait to start reading it. Uncle Joe gave me this diary; like I already mentioned and Uncle Danny got me a new doll. After lunch, we were all sitting in the living room. Mommy was in her armchair, reading, Uncle Joe was lying on the couch, because he wasn’t feeling well, and Uncle Danny was sitting on the floor, trying to fix a radio. I wanted to watch t.v. but Uncle Joe wouldn’t let me. He said he had a terrible headache. I started crying and told him I hated him. Mommy put her book away and went up to Uncle Joe and told him to let me watch t.v.. Uncle Joe got really mad and slapped mommy across the face. She has a huge bruise. I started to cry again and I ran up to him and started hitting him. Uncle Danny jumped up and yelled at Uncle Joe, telling him to not hit my mommy; their sister. Uncle Danny ran over, he was still holding a screwdriver in his hand and he started stabbing Uncle Joe with it. I was covered in blood and so were Uncle Joe, Uncle Danny, and mommy. Mommy screamed, grabbed me, and threw me out of the room.
That’s all I remember. Mommy says when she threw me out of the room, I hit my head against the wall and passed out. But she also says that Uncle Joe is dead, so I’m not going to believe her. She’s not very good at lying, is she? Now I think about it, I never thanked Uncle Joe for my diary. I’ll thank him tomorrow. And while I’m at it, I’ll tell him I’m sorry for saying that I hate him.




And yes, if you haven't figured it out, Uncle Joe is dead.
 
Thats really sad...It seems that the main character in this story is too young to understand that her Uncle Joe is not alive anymore. That it is too late to say sorry...or to thank him. This is really good and it is fantastic how you express a young child's sight through rose colored glasses. Wonderful job, Sara.
 
First I want to say that you conveyed the setting very well, I liked the line "I am 8 years old." Sounds like all the 8 year olds I know. You did a really good job.

That is soo sad!
 
That's really.... wow... sad. =[ The story was really good though. 'Cept, I have an 8-year-old sister, and I could never imagine her writing like that..
 
AWw SAra that is so sad but its intereiting that she does not know is this all a flashback Sara thru Hannah's eyes how to deal with death a bit thru a kids eye
Well I don't really know how a kid would deal with it... I just needed to write about it, to get it out of my head and this is the way I chose to write it. Like I said, I had to change some things to make it work, but it is based on a true story.

That's really.... wow... sad. =[ The story was really good though. 'Cept, I have an 8-year-old sister, and I could never imagine her writing like that..

All 8 year olds don't think like that. I wrote it the way my younger brother would write it. He's 12 now, but still...
 
i love storys like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a friend that saw her mom get killed by her dad........now shes living wth nice ppl
 
All 8 year olds don't think like that. I wrote it the way my younger brother would write it. He's 12 now, but still...

Yeah. I just think that if my sister witnessed that... she would sound a LOT more scared... but I really like your style anyways and I wanna hear more (if you have it :))
 
i love storys like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a friend that saw her mom get killed by her dad........now shes living wth nice ppl
Aww, that's horrible!! I seriously think I'd die myself if I saw someone kill someone else.
Yeah. I just think that if my sister witnessed that... she would sound a LOT more scared... but I really like your style anyways and I wanna hear more (if you have it :))

Hmm, that is true, and I did consider making her sound a little more scared but I wasn't able to write it that way. When I write I just... write. I don't think about it. The words just flow. And I don't have anymore. I don't really have any ideas of how I could continue it, and I don't really want to. It was bad enough writing it once. I've been feeling sick ever since I heard about it.
 
Hmm, that is true, and I did consider making her sound a little more scared but I wasn't able to write it that way. When I write I just... write. I don't think about it. The words just flow. And I don't have anymore. I don't really have any ideas of how I could continue it, and I don't really want to. It was bad enough writing it once. I've been feeling sick ever since I heard about it.

I think it's somewhat cool though that you were willing to write it down. It's hard to write about tragedies like that.. but you did a good job.
 
Nice job, Sara! Though, for an 8 year-old, she has terrible grammar skills. :p And I believe I have found the reason that you're not working on THE short story! ;)
 
Nice job, Sara! Though, for an 8 year-old, she has terrible grammar skills. :p And I believe I have found the reason that you're not working on THE short story! ;)

She's not YOU Levi!! :p You're the only person I know who uses proper spelling and grammar on msn. <_<

Yes, this is the reason. And now I'm working on another short story. ^_^
 
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