Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Copperfox

Copperfox

Well-known member
~ ~ ~ Inasmuch as I have endeavoured as much as anyone to keep conventional roleplaying viable on TDL;

~ ~ ~ Inasmuch as I was the last one to post in Lava's most excellent and praiseworthy Narnian scenario; and

~ ~ ~ Inasmuch as Mafia Game threads here in Duffer territory can be reasonably described as roleplaying....

I beg everyone's leave (and this does NOT mean I won't still play in the "Swords/Claws/Teeth" roleplay if it ever gets moving again) to revive that concept which in former times was called ROLEPLAY BY MONOLOGUES.

As it was said in "The Incredibles," if everyone is super, no one is. This was the beauty of "Monologues": NO ONE could ruin it by being a glory-hogging prima donna, because EVERYONE WAS INVITED to be a glory-hogging prima donna. In "Monologues," everyone could be the Mary Sue at once, and the consequent endless contradictions were WELCOME.

As was done when "Monologues" first began, so it shall be with this new equivalent. I shall now pretend to be five different persons, all within this one post, in order to demonstrate how it works. I will hope, then, that someone will follow up, with a post which need not have ANY connection with what I write here....

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

"Doctor House, what are you doing?" asked the baffled intern.

"I'm creating a Frankenstein monster, so that finally there'll be someone around this hospital who's _more_ obnoxious than I am."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

As soon as he could walk steadily, Dr. House's monster stole the doctor's cane, and caught a flight to Hollywood in hopes that someone would allow him to star in a remake of "Young Frankenstein."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When the monster got off the plane, he was met by a thirteen-year-old girl mounted on a horse. "Go back where you came from," she commanded. "This roleplay is about ME and my mysterious quest, NOT about you trying to outdo Peter Boyle's acting job!"

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

OOC: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!! This roleplay isn't about any girl riding a horse, it's about ME: the greatest Jedi Knight who ever used a twenty-foot-long lightsaber!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Meanwhile, at an ancient temple in China, six Shaolin monks who were also dentists began working to develop a fighting style which would use toothbrushes and dental floss as weapons....
 
As the Shaolin monks were experimenting different fighting styles with dental floss, several knights with horned helmets appeared and shouted, "Ni!"
The leader of the Knights of Ni (who was also the tallest and had exceptionally long horns on his helmet and a falseto voice) addressed the monks by saying, "We are the Knights who say Ni! Keeper of the sacred word, and now we are also the keepers of dental floss. We hereby demand you to either cease using floss, or cut down the mightiest tree in this monastery WIIIIIITH.... A KOI!" The other knights followed this up with several "Nis" before their leader signaled them to stop.
 
Suddenly, one of the pyramid-shaped spaceships of the Goa'uld from "Stargate" flew overhead and opened fire with its death rays, killing everybody. But Jack O'Neill said, "Don't worry, this is a chaotic roleplay. They'll all be alive again in the next post. That is, I _think_ they will be...."
 
Suddenly, a squadron of 4 F-15 Eagle fighter jets from the video game Ace Combat 5 flew in out of nowhere and attacked the Goa'uld's flying pyramid, their incredibly awesome fighting maneuvers rendered the evil pyramid helpless to their assault, thus ending this climactic air battle with a majestic nuclear explosion that filled the sky like an enormous festival ball, which the air planes miraculously survived. And there was much rejoicing.
 
Meanwhile, the thirteen-year-old girl on the horse went galloping off alone (that is, alone except for the horse), pursuing her lonely quest which no one adult and no one male could understand or contribute anything to....
 
Last edited:
Smerdyakov the Purple duck poked his head into the thread.

It had been so long since he'd appeared on TDL, and wondered if he was still wanted.

Did anybody remember him?

Probably not.

"Nobody remembers a purple duck," he grumbled.

Well, they'd remember him, now, he thought, and began to think of a plan.
 
Suddenly, five pairs of assorted shoes came levitating through the air, to land in front of Smerdyakov. This could only be the work of The Grey Eagle, the vampire-slaying superhero whose powers included telekinesis.
 
Smerdyakov looked dubiously at the Grey Eagle.

"Nobody's posted about me in ages," he said, "I'll bet you don't even remember me."

He continued making preparations for his plan, which would continue whether the Grey Eagle liked it, or not.
 
Captain McGregor, the leader of the aformentioned fighter jet squadron who's callsign was 'Blaze,' stood at the bar in some unknown local airforce base. He downed a shot of whiskey, then gagged and said he wished he'd asked for that weird new beer from Malaysia that he wasn't too fond of. He then decided to waste some more time at the pinball machine while remembering the previous air battle with the flying pyramid. He couldn't quite understand why one of the small fighters that he shot down during that battle was piloted by a man in a Barney suit.
 
"Well, you might remember, but why isn't Captain McGregor paying attention to me?" shrieked Smerdyakov the purple duck, "This roleplay is all about me!"

And he continued to plan his plans.



Meanwhile, a farmer walked up to Captain McGregor.

"Hello, brother," he said, "I want to enlist your help to take care of this rabbit problem I've got in my garden."
 
Sir Tom the Dragon Knight said:
Captain McGregor, the leader of the aformentioned fighter jet squadron who's callsign was 'Blaze,' stood at the bar in some unknown local airforce base. He downed a shot of whiskey, then gagged and said he wished he'd asked for that weird new beer from Malaysia that he wasn't too fond of. He then decided to waste some more time at the pinball machine while remembering the previous air battle with the flying pyramid. He couldn't quite understand why one of the small fighters that he shot down during that battle was piloted by a man in a Barney suit.
Click to expand...

An out-of-work Renaissance festival jouster, armor clanking, entered the bar and said to McGregor: "When you leave here, you might notice a duck with purple feathers. Don't be alarmed; he's just working on a perfectly ordinary plot for world conquest."

EDIT: We can assume that the farmer approaches the jet pilot AFTER the knight has said his piece and moved on.
 
Last edited:
Captain McGregor merely raised an eyebrow at the two men's unusual words and said, "Which one of us has had more to drink?"

Meanwhile, a 12 year old boy in armor wandered into the bar and began reading his Arthurian novel out loud, and I mean VERY loud. He shouted, "AND SO! Lancelot AND ARTHUR! Charged their ENEMIES with a great FURY of hooves and STEEL!!. . ."
 
At the same time, another 12-year old boy runs into the bar.

"Listen, everybody!" he shouts, and when silence falls, he says: "General Lemarque is dead!"

This causes a very dramatic moment of silence, and then the entire bar bursts into song.
 
Omg you guyzzzz

i dunt like this roll play at all


hears my charecter 4 it

Name: Katlynne Maya Starre
age: 16 but she looks 25
apperence; long gold hair with purple hilights n she has a scare on her face shaped like a star (that's where she ges her nam). she has violet eyes and wings.
personalitie: shes teh princess of the country Starrshine bu her dad wants her to get married to someone she doesnt like. also she has majjical powers, so she can take to animals. she also can fly and shoot fire from her eyes (they turn red whent his happens) she is proud, strong, and verrrry smart (she haz been reading since she was two an she is an experct on evolutionary bilogy, physics, calculusss, and calvinistic theology)

Also she has a pink pet tiger.

NO HATERZZZ PLZ
 
It's all a big ridiculous, chaotic comedy. If you don't like that, you're in the wrong place. ;)

Suddenly the T-Rex transforms into a little pink fox and runs away. Captain McGregor stops as he sees Whoopi Goldberg as "The Grand Banshee" standing in front of him. Obviously, Whoopi is the one who turned the dinosaur into a pink fox. She says, "Hi, Mr. McGregor! Have you seen the movie where I play this character? Not many have."
McGregor merely nods his head in reply. He had seen the movie, but he's just not a Whoopi fan.
 
Ivan, an embittered Russian, poked his head inside the room.

He said several words which he is not allowed on the forum.

The Great Badger Mod swooped down from nowhere and banned him.
 
Back
Top