I read up to chapter 19. I think that place with the thermal vents was very creative. Who would've thought that this existed west of Narnia. The whole trip is very richly described, including the sea of grass. Very nice.
Beyond the Oaken Door
- Thread starter EveningStar
- Start date
Chapter Thirty-Three
HITCHING POST OF THE SUN
The palace looked like something from a dream, which was strangely appropriate. The marble columns were shaped like trees, with leaves of jade and malachite. In the boughs of one rested a perfect onyx nest with a jeweled bird and three ivory eggs. On another trunk was an ivy vine of green marble and a moth of jasper so realistic it looked poised for flight. The roof was uneven by design, made to look like clouds. The windows and doors were decorated fancifully in gold filigree, slanted and curved and giving the impression the mansion was magically frozen in mid-gallop.
The colors of the stonework were alive, the edifice bathed in an ever-changing radiance that rivaled the northern lights, something that impressed everyone but Aramis.
“I’ll never be able to shoot star measurements in all this! What rum luck to come so far and not know the true diameter of the world!”
“Why don’t you ask Hypnos?” Jinks asked.
“Oh come on, Jinks! After all the measurements I’ve made, how can I just ask him how big the world is?” He sighed and patted the otter on the shoulder. “It almost feels like cheating.”
“Garn, you don’t have to ask him how big it is. Just ask for the measurements and do the ciphering yourself.”
The faun chuckled. “You should have been a politician!” He shook his head. “I’ll just ask him how big the world is and take his word for it.”
***
Where a regular palace might have had a robust gate to keep out unwanted guests, the entrance of the palace was unguarded and the door had no knocker. The Captain just pushed it and it creaked open.
They felt a bit like robbers having broken in, and they quickly thought of what to say when they spotted someone.
The ceiling was high, in deep cerulean blue with gold stars, a sun and moon. The sun moved with an almost inaudible click. “Garn,” Jinks said, “It’s a real map of the sky and it works!”
“Clever, isn’t it?” said a new voice. “This old house may seem bizarre and even impractical, but I deal in dreams and it inspires me.”
The faun stepped forward. “Milord, we have come from Narnia seeking your help.”
“Ah but of course, friend Aramis. Such a shame Boffer and Larkins can’t be here to make our joy complete.”
“Then you know the reason we came?”
“I know all the hidden things we dare to dream about.” He glanced at Cendric with a knowing yet sympathetic look. “I’m not a spy, you know. At their best, dreams are our escape from the unfairness of life. Aslan knows you have need of it. Think of this house as an apothecary shop for healing and inspiration.”
Aramis stroked his chin. “Why make such a lavish house only to put it in a barren wasteland?”
“For the same reason Father Christmas lives in the northern wastes. Neither of us avoids people. In fact both of us have to see so many people in the course of our work that when we have a moment alone, it must be complete solitude.”
“We hope our coming has not upset you.”
“Oh bosh! Upset me? It’s an honor to have folk like you under my roof.”
***
Before dinner they had an opportunity to tidy up. It was their first hot bath since Arcadia and it forgave a multitude of sins. The Captain trimmed his beard and Cendric brushed the tangles from his hair.
Hobin was the most transformed of the group for he had shaved off his trophy beard. He would have looked like his old self except his skin was bronzed by the sun, his weight was down and his shoulders and arms had filled out with all the fresh air, exercise and shunning the bottle. Gray hairs or no, he looked ten years younger.
While they were freshening up, someone had taken their clothes…probably to burn them…and left splendid new suits befitting their status. Hobin and Cendric shone like peacocks and the Captain looked dashing in his impeccable uniform. Jinks was delighted with his gold handled sword that not only looked good but had excellent balance and a keen edge. Aramis once again looked like the High Mage of Narnia in his dress jacket and sash.
***
Hypnos set a splendid banquet. After weeks of rations and roots, it was like paradise. For the first time since Boffer died, Jinks actually smiled.
While Hypnos was a very modest and gentle person, he was after all an immortal with great powers. The travelers were very curious about him.
Hobin asked him, “What’s the best dream you’ve ever given someone?”
“The best dreams go to those who need them the most, those who suffer and grieve. Let’s not spoil the mood.”
Jinks asked a very insightful question. “Why can’t I choose what I dream about? I miss Boffer but all I can dream about his him lying there dead.”
“You can always daydream whatever you wish. Dreams are not such simple things.”
Cendric shifted uncomfortably. “Why do you give people nightmares anyhow?”
Lord Hypnos shook his head. “I have nothing to do with nightmares, or most dreams for that matter. I’ve had to warn folk of some unpleasant things, but only for their own good.”
Aramis showed great restraint to that point, but he finally blurted out the question that was foremost on his mind. “Good sir, how wide is the world?”
“147,375 teracts from east to west, 146,927 teracts from north to south.”
“Teracts?”
“A teract is six hundred diacletes.”
“Oh, but of course.” The faun looked at Captain Pedigo and shrugged.
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION....
HITCHING POST OF THE SUN
The palace looked like something from a dream, which was strangely appropriate. The marble columns were shaped like trees, with leaves of jade and malachite. In the boughs of one rested a perfect onyx nest with a jeweled bird and three ivory eggs. On another trunk was an ivy vine of green marble and a moth of jasper so realistic it looked poised for flight. The roof was uneven by design, made to look like clouds. The windows and doors were decorated fancifully in gold filigree, slanted and curved and giving the impression the mansion was magically frozen in mid-gallop.
The colors of the stonework were alive, the edifice bathed in an ever-changing radiance that rivaled the northern lights, something that impressed everyone but Aramis.
“I’ll never be able to shoot star measurements in all this! What rum luck to come so far and not know the true diameter of the world!”
“Why don’t you ask Hypnos?” Jinks asked.
“Oh come on, Jinks! After all the measurements I’ve made, how can I just ask him how big the world is?” He sighed and patted the otter on the shoulder. “It almost feels like cheating.”
“Garn, you don’t have to ask him how big it is. Just ask for the measurements and do the ciphering yourself.”
The faun chuckled. “You should have been a politician!” He shook his head. “I’ll just ask him how big the world is and take his word for it.”
***
Where a regular palace might have had a robust gate to keep out unwanted guests, the entrance of the palace was unguarded and the door had no knocker. The Captain just pushed it and it creaked open.
They felt a bit like robbers having broken in, and they quickly thought of what to say when they spotted someone.
The ceiling was high, in deep cerulean blue with gold stars, a sun and moon. The sun moved with an almost inaudible click. “Garn,” Jinks said, “It’s a real map of the sky and it works!”
“Clever, isn’t it?” said a new voice. “This old house may seem bizarre and even impractical, but I deal in dreams and it inspires me.”
The faun stepped forward. “Milord, we have come from Narnia seeking your help.”
“Ah but of course, friend Aramis. Such a shame Boffer and Larkins can’t be here to make our joy complete.”
“Then you know the reason we came?”
“I know all the hidden things we dare to dream about.” He glanced at Cendric with a knowing yet sympathetic look. “I’m not a spy, you know. At their best, dreams are our escape from the unfairness of life. Aslan knows you have need of it. Think of this house as an apothecary shop for healing and inspiration.”
Aramis stroked his chin. “Why make such a lavish house only to put it in a barren wasteland?”
“For the same reason Father Christmas lives in the northern wastes. Neither of us avoids people. In fact both of us have to see so many people in the course of our work that when we have a moment alone, it must be complete solitude.”
“We hope our coming has not upset you.”
“Oh bosh! Upset me? It’s an honor to have folk like you under my roof.”
***
Before dinner they had an opportunity to tidy up. It was their first hot bath since Arcadia and it forgave a multitude of sins. The Captain trimmed his beard and Cendric brushed the tangles from his hair.
Hobin was the most transformed of the group for he had shaved off his trophy beard. He would have looked like his old self except his skin was bronzed by the sun, his weight was down and his shoulders and arms had filled out with all the fresh air, exercise and shunning the bottle. Gray hairs or no, he looked ten years younger.
While they were freshening up, someone had taken their clothes…probably to burn them…and left splendid new suits befitting their status. Hobin and Cendric shone like peacocks and the Captain looked dashing in his impeccable uniform. Jinks was delighted with his gold handled sword that not only looked good but had excellent balance and a keen edge. Aramis once again looked like the High Mage of Narnia in his dress jacket and sash.
***
Hypnos set a splendid banquet. After weeks of rations and roots, it was like paradise. For the first time since Boffer died, Jinks actually smiled.
While Hypnos was a very modest and gentle person, he was after all an immortal with great powers. The travelers were very curious about him.
Hobin asked him, “What’s the best dream you’ve ever given someone?”
“The best dreams go to those who need them the most, those who suffer and grieve. Let’s not spoil the mood.”
Jinks asked a very insightful question. “Why can’t I choose what I dream about? I miss Boffer but all I can dream about his him lying there dead.”
“You can always daydream whatever you wish. Dreams are not such simple things.”
Cendric shifted uncomfortably. “Why do you give people nightmares anyhow?”
Lord Hypnos shook his head. “I have nothing to do with nightmares, or most dreams for that matter. I’ve had to warn folk of some unpleasant things, but only for their own good.”
Aramis showed great restraint to that point, but he finally blurted out the question that was foremost on his mind. “Good sir, how wide is the world?”
“147,375 teracts from east to west, 146,927 teracts from north to south.”
“Teracts?”
“A teract is six hundred diacletes.”
“Oh, but of course.” The faun looked at Captain Pedigo and shrugged.
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION....
Chapter Thirty-Four
THE PORTAL
A trembling Hobin leaned heavily upon Captain Pedigo as the party stepped into the audience chamber. Cendric stood erect and proud yet glanced about nervously at the tapestries, the marble columns, and the large golden chair beneath a red velvet canopy trimmed with silver tassels.
As rooms go it was a splendid place. Yet as a place to spend one’s final moments on Earth, it left much to be desired. Even as Hobin anticipated the splendor to come, he also thought of things left behind, a litany of lost opportunities and bitter regrets.
While he was a better man for the journey and glad of his redemption, Lord Balburn could not help but think about the oaken door in his far-off estate had shaken up his simple life. Then he spotted something nestled among the flags of many nations, the lion banner of Narnia. A bit of home, a last glimpse of the ensign of Frank and Helen. How many noble creatures had fought, bled and died to uphold the honor of that cloth and all it stood for! He felt their strength flowing into him, turning his attention from the dismal past to the blessed future. He let loose of Pedigo’s arm and stood straight and tall.
***
Hypnos ascended the dais and settled into his ornate throne. “It is here that I commune with Chronos, or as you know him, Father Time. Down the long centuries he sleeps, and through his dreams flow the currents of your lives. It is both my right and responsibility to direct those currents as the Lord grants me wisdom.”
“That sounds like a tremendous burden,” Aramis said.
“Next to some tasks, the problem you bring me is a small one. Once Chronos had a nightmare that lasted a whole century. It plunged Narnia into a hopeless, bitter winter. I tried to end it, but there was another magic at work on him, a power of supreme evil. Against its sway my best efforts were for naught.”
“The White Witch,” Aramis said, stepping forward. “Milord, can anything be done for Hobin and Cendric? And perhaps for the nine thousand of Jarrigan?”
“Good Mage, everything that can be done will be done.”
***
Hypnos had been in a deep sleep for what seemed a rather long time. The windowless room gave them no clue whether it was for minutes or hours, yet everyone eventually found a seat and Jinks even appeared to nod off a couple of times.
When the immortal straightened in his chair and opened his eyes, it startled the others.
“The answer is rather simple,” Hypnos said. “Simple, yet complex.”
“You speak in riddles, Milord?”
“I think not. The simple part is this…when Gonvin made his appearance in the past, it was on a hot day in August. He made the innocent mistake of walking into a pub to buy a pint of ale.”
“What’s wrong with that? Was it poisoned?”
Hypnos chuckled. “By the Lion, fellow! He saw two men having a terrible fight. They were breaking up a great deal of furniture and Gonvin tried to intervene. He ended up having to kill one of them.”
“So he killed the wrong one?”
“Either of them would have been the wrong one. One founded the city of Jarrigan. The other one became the first Earl of Balburn. They did it by putting aside their differences and working together. You have to make sure that happens.”
“How?”
“That’s the complicated part. Should you try to stop Gonvin from breaking up the fight? Should you try to prevent him from jumping in the pool? For that matter, he travelled to the past because his son was killed in a duel. Should you try to stop the duel? A noble enough aspiration, and probably what Gonvin went to try. Although…”
“Although what?”
“That itself may cause a whole host of problems.” Hypnos shook his head. “It’s times like this when you need a message from Aslan.”
“So what should I do?”
“You will do what you will do. If you’re a praying man, you might ask for guidance.”
“I am a praying man.”
***
Hypnos walked to a featureless stone wall. After clapping his hands three times, either a doorway formed or one had been there all the time waiting to be revealed.
Lord Balburn drew near and looked into the doorway fascinated. “Look, son! Look into the light!”
Cendric stared into it in icy terror. “All I see is darkness!”
“Be brave, son. This is our destiny.”
“Go quickly,” Hypnos said. “Don’t look back.”
It was sage advice. Hobin stared straight ahead and thought of Aslan and eternity. Sadly, Cendric could not resist the impulse to glance over his shoulder. He saw his friends, the open doorway and the hall that lay beyond. Out the windows he felt the open sky and the big world were beckoning to him. It was as if the room…and life itself, had begun to close in upon him and he wanted to flee!
“I can’t!” the youth cried, starting to walk away. “If I go in there, I’ll die!”
Jinks stood in the way. “You’re going the wrong way, laddiebuck.”
Cendric tried to step around him but the otter shifted and put his paw on the pommel of his sword.
“Out of my way, Jinks!”
The otter’s blade slid slowly but fully into view. It trembled slightly in Jinks’ paw but pointed right at the lad. “I’d rather die myself than run you through, but it’s about my brother. I swore an oath to protect him.”
“And you’d kill me in cold blood to do it?”
“I’ve killed my share of Calormenes to keep that oath. I’ve never killed a Narnian before, and certainly not a child.”
Cendric looked at the Captain. “Give me your sword! I saw my death in there! By the Lion, give me a fighting chance!”
Jinks shuddered. “Don’t make me do this, lad! What about them nine thousand people?”
“You wouldn’t kill me, would you?” Tears began to run down Cendric’s cheeks. “I’m afraid! Maybe you’re a soldier but I’m not!”
Hobin stepped between them. He had no sword in his hand, only his raw courage. “Jinks, put down the sword. You’d have to kill me first.”
The otter’s sword lowered a bit. “Brother! You promised! You swore an oath!”
Hobin embraced Cendric. “Don’t cry, son. I won’t let him hurt you.” He looked at Jinks. “If he doesn’t enter of his own free will, he’ll die body and soul! I asked him to give up his earthly life, but not his immortality.”
“What about Boffer’s immortality?? He died to save you and that son of yours! I thought you cared! I thought you loved him!”
“I do, I do!!” Hobin gripped his hair tightly in his fists. “How can I make such a choice?? This is not for a man to decide! Where is Aslan when I need him the most?? How can he do this to me??”
Jinks shook his head. “Did he do this to you, or did you do it to yourself?”
Hobin stood there a moment, trembling. Then through the panic the full realization dawned upon him. He looked at the weeping otter, sword clutched in his trembling paw, and at his wild-eyed son cowering in his arms. Then he slumped, sighing deeply. “I had fifty years to make a difference and I wasted it on drinking, dancing and false friends while my wife and son suffered.”
“That’s a noble admission,” Aramis said, “but it does nothing to solve this dilemma.”
“I know. I will solve it.” He kissed Cendric on the brow and ran his fingertips down the lad’s cheek. “Good bye, my son. I will take full responsibility and pass through the doorway alone. In case it does not work, have a good life and remember to pray.”
Jinks panicked, sheathing his sword. “No, Mister Hobin! Don’t go alone! I’ll come with you!”
“You can’t. You’re supposed to be here. I’m not.”
“I’m not supposed to be here either,” Cendric said calmly, wiping his eyes. “We go together just like you planned.”
“You don’t know what you’ll find on the other side.”
“You.”
The Earl looked around into the eyes of his son. Boffer was right…there were moments when the mask comes off and the real face shows. Cendric also beheld his father as if for the first time.
“I’m sorry I’ve been your stone to drag,” the youth said. “Do you forgive me?”
“Yes! With all my heart!” Hobin rested his face against his son. “I hope you can forgive me too for the way I treated your mother.”
“Mum married you for all the wrong reasons, and she died of regret. How can I forgive you of her mistake?”
“Saying that could not have been easy.” Hobin gave his shoulder a firm pat. “Son, I think you just became a man.”
And then a strange and wonderful thing happened. Out of the portal strode a great lion. It was clear that everyone saw him because they all stopped what they were doing and bowed lowly.
“You honor my house with your presence,” Hypnos said.
“You honor my heart with your service,” Aslan purred. “Greetings Sons of Adam. Greetings Son of Waters. Blessings to you, my faithful Mage. You have all fulfilled your vows, and yet there is another who should be here.”
At that word, someone stepped through the portal, a splendidly outfitted otter with a gold sword and belt and a silver collar.
Jinks rose from the ground and rushed forward with a cry, embracing Boffer as tears streamed down their faces. They were in a world of their own, heedless of even the presence of the Great Lion, and that was fine by Aslan.
“There are nine thousand more that have a right to celebrate. So it is on to the business at hand. Let us put the world to rights.”
***
Aramis was sitting in the Magisterial Garden when Mage Mountebank came out with a large leather-bound book. “Garn,” the beaver said, “You might want to look at this curiosity. I found it on a table in the library.”
“What is it?”
“It’s called 'Observations of a Journey to the Utter West…by Mage Aramis'.”
THE END
THE PORTAL
A trembling Hobin leaned heavily upon Captain Pedigo as the party stepped into the audience chamber. Cendric stood erect and proud yet glanced about nervously at the tapestries, the marble columns, and the large golden chair beneath a red velvet canopy trimmed with silver tassels.
As rooms go it was a splendid place. Yet as a place to spend one’s final moments on Earth, it left much to be desired. Even as Hobin anticipated the splendor to come, he also thought of things left behind, a litany of lost opportunities and bitter regrets.
While he was a better man for the journey and glad of his redemption, Lord Balburn could not help but think about the oaken door in his far-off estate had shaken up his simple life. Then he spotted something nestled among the flags of many nations, the lion banner of Narnia. A bit of home, a last glimpse of the ensign of Frank and Helen. How many noble creatures had fought, bled and died to uphold the honor of that cloth and all it stood for! He felt their strength flowing into him, turning his attention from the dismal past to the blessed future. He let loose of Pedigo’s arm and stood straight and tall.
***
Hypnos ascended the dais and settled into his ornate throne. “It is here that I commune with Chronos, or as you know him, Father Time. Down the long centuries he sleeps, and through his dreams flow the currents of your lives. It is both my right and responsibility to direct those currents as the Lord grants me wisdom.”
“That sounds like a tremendous burden,” Aramis said.
“Next to some tasks, the problem you bring me is a small one. Once Chronos had a nightmare that lasted a whole century. It plunged Narnia into a hopeless, bitter winter. I tried to end it, but there was another magic at work on him, a power of supreme evil. Against its sway my best efforts were for naught.”
“The White Witch,” Aramis said, stepping forward. “Milord, can anything be done for Hobin and Cendric? And perhaps for the nine thousand of Jarrigan?”
“Good Mage, everything that can be done will be done.”
***
Hypnos had been in a deep sleep for what seemed a rather long time. The windowless room gave them no clue whether it was for minutes or hours, yet everyone eventually found a seat and Jinks even appeared to nod off a couple of times.
***
When the immortal straightened in his chair and opened his eyes, it startled the others.
“The answer is rather simple,” Hypnos said. “Simple, yet complex.”
“You speak in riddles, Milord?”
“I think not. The simple part is this…when Gonvin made his appearance in the past, it was on a hot day in August. He made the innocent mistake of walking into a pub to buy a pint of ale.”
“What’s wrong with that? Was it poisoned?”
Hypnos chuckled. “By the Lion, fellow! He saw two men having a terrible fight. They were breaking up a great deal of furniture and Gonvin tried to intervene. He ended up having to kill one of them.”
“So he killed the wrong one?”
“Either of them would have been the wrong one. One founded the city of Jarrigan. The other one became the first Earl of Balburn. They did it by putting aside their differences and working together. You have to make sure that happens.”
“How?”
“That’s the complicated part. Should you try to stop Gonvin from breaking up the fight? Should you try to prevent him from jumping in the pool? For that matter, he travelled to the past because his son was killed in a duel. Should you try to stop the duel? A noble enough aspiration, and probably what Gonvin went to try. Although…”
“Although what?”
“That itself may cause a whole host of problems.” Hypnos shook his head. “It’s times like this when you need a message from Aslan.”
“So what should I do?”
“You will do what you will do. If you’re a praying man, you might ask for guidance.”
“I am a praying man.”
***
Hypnos walked to a featureless stone wall. After clapping his hands three times, either a doorway formed or one had been there all the time waiting to be revealed.
Lord Balburn drew near and looked into the doorway fascinated. “Look, son! Look into the light!”
Cendric stared into it in icy terror. “All I see is darkness!”
“Be brave, son. This is our destiny.”
“Go quickly,” Hypnos said. “Don’t look back.”
It was sage advice. Hobin stared straight ahead and thought of Aslan and eternity. Sadly, Cendric could not resist the impulse to glance over his shoulder. He saw his friends, the open doorway and the hall that lay beyond. Out the windows he felt the open sky and the big world were beckoning to him. It was as if the room…and life itself, had begun to close in upon him and he wanted to flee!
“I can’t!” the youth cried, starting to walk away. “If I go in there, I’ll die!”
Jinks stood in the way. “You’re going the wrong way, laddiebuck.”
Cendric tried to step around him but the otter shifted and put his paw on the pommel of his sword.
“Out of my way, Jinks!”
The otter’s blade slid slowly but fully into view. It trembled slightly in Jinks’ paw but pointed right at the lad. “I’d rather die myself than run you through, but it’s about my brother. I swore an oath to protect him.”
“And you’d kill me in cold blood to do it?”
“I’ve killed my share of Calormenes to keep that oath. I’ve never killed a Narnian before, and certainly not a child.”
Cendric looked at the Captain. “Give me your sword! I saw my death in there! By the Lion, give me a fighting chance!”
Jinks shuddered. “Don’t make me do this, lad! What about them nine thousand people?”
“You wouldn’t kill me, would you?” Tears began to run down Cendric’s cheeks. “I’m afraid! Maybe you’re a soldier but I’m not!”
Hobin stepped between them. He had no sword in his hand, only his raw courage. “Jinks, put down the sword. You’d have to kill me first.”
The otter’s sword lowered a bit. “Brother! You promised! You swore an oath!”
Hobin embraced Cendric. “Don’t cry, son. I won’t let him hurt you.” He looked at Jinks. “If he doesn’t enter of his own free will, he’ll die body and soul! I asked him to give up his earthly life, but not his immortality.”
“What about Boffer’s immortality?? He died to save you and that son of yours! I thought you cared! I thought you loved him!”
“I do, I do!!” Hobin gripped his hair tightly in his fists. “How can I make such a choice?? This is not for a man to decide! Where is Aslan when I need him the most?? How can he do this to me??”
Jinks shook his head. “Did he do this to you, or did you do it to yourself?”
Hobin stood there a moment, trembling. Then through the panic the full realization dawned upon him. He looked at the weeping otter, sword clutched in his trembling paw, and at his wild-eyed son cowering in his arms. Then he slumped, sighing deeply. “I had fifty years to make a difference and I wasted it on drinking, dancing and false friends while my wife and son suffered.”
“That’s a noble admission,” Aramis said, “but it does nothing to solve this dilemma.”
“I know. I will solve it.” He kissed Cendric on the brow and ran his fingertips down the lad’s cheek. “Good bye, my son. I will take full responsibility and pass through the doorway alone. In case it does not work, have a good life and remember to pray.”
Jinks panicked, sheathing his sword. “No, Mister Hobin! Don’t go alone! I’ll come with you!”
“You can’t. You’re supposed to be here. I’m not.”
“I’m not supposed to be here either,” Cendric said calmly, wiping his eyes. “We go together just like you planned.”
“You don’t know what you’ll find on the other side.”
“You.”
The Earl looked around into the eyes of his son. Boffer was right…there were moments when the mask comes off and the real face shows. Cendric also beheld his father as if for the first time.
“I’m sorry I’ve been your stone to drag,” the youth said. “Do you forgive me?”
“Yes! With all my heart!” Hobin rested his face against his son. “I hope you can forgive me too for the way I treated your mother.”
“Mum married you for all the wrong reasons, and she died of regret. How can I forgive you of her mistake?”
“Saying that could not have been easy.” Hobin gave his shoulder a firm pat. “Son, I think you just became a man.”
And then a strange and wonderful thing happened. Out of the portal strode a great lion. It was clear that everyone saw him because they all stopped what they were doing and bowed lowly.
“You honor my house with your presence,” Hypnos said.
“You honor my heart with your service,” Aslan purred. “Greetings Sons of Adam. Greetings Son of Waters. Blessings to you, my faithful Mage. You have all fulfilled your vows, and yet there is another who should be here.”
At that word, someone stepped through the portal, a splendidly outfitted otter with a gold sword and belt and a silver collar.
Jinks rose from the ground and rushed forward with a cry, embracing Boffer as tears streamed down their faces. They were in a world of their own, heedless of even the presence of the Great Lion, and that was fine by Aslan.
“There are nine thousand more that have a right to celebrate. So it is on to the business at hand. Let us put the world to rights.”
***
Aramis was sitting in the Magisterial Garden when Mage Mountebank came out with a large leather-bound book. “Garn,” the beaver said, “You might want to look at this curiosity. I found it on a table in the library.”
“What is it?”
“It’s called 'Observations of a Journey to the Utter West…by Mage Aramis'.”
THE END
Upon finishing "Great Expectations," the emminant author Charles Dickens said he felt like he lost a whole extended family. I must confess that while I feel a certain affection for all my characters, I grieve for Boffer and Jinks the most.
I also lost a dear friend during the three months I spent writing this novelette, a golden retriever/collie mix. Her name was Ginger, though I always called her "Ginger Peachy" or just "Peach." She was a good old girl with not a hateful thought or feeling in her whole sweet self. God give you peace, my Peachy.
I also lost a dear friend during the three months I spent writing this novelette, a golden retriever/collie mix. Her name was Ginger, though I always called her "Ginger Peachy" or just "Peach." She was a good old girl with not a hateful thought or feeling in her whole sweet self. God give you peace, my Peachy.
Well, Magister, you certainly tackled one of the most conceptually difficult story themes: time travel and the time paradox. It certainly resolved the question of getting everyone back (I was wondering how you were going to handle that). But I suppose that's how things would end, if someone were to go backwards in time - the entire flow of history gets changed. (Which leads to the question of how the books were preserved, but I suppose the Hand of Aslan (Paw?) would explain that.)
Good, swift-moving plot, three dimensional characters, very imaginative setting. It had a bit of a Dawn Treader feel about it, in the sense that the occasional vignettes just happened and weren't necessarily resolved. The sojourn at Arcadia and the disturbing findings there was an example. I presume the travellers just walked away? There was no attempt to detain them? Neither did the travellers attempt to resolve Bartle's captivity to the Arcadians? That's the closest thing to a loose end in the whole story.
Grand job, John. Fun read, well worth the effort. I'm looking forward to going back through and reading at a more leisurely pace. This reading I found myself galloping through to catch up when I "fell behind".
Good, swift-moving plot, three dimensional characters, very imaginative setting. It had a bit of a Dawn Treader feel about it, in the sense that the occasional vignettes just happened and weren't necessarily resolved. The sojourn at Arcadia and the disturbing findings there was an example. I presume the travellers just walked away? There was no attempt to detain them? Neither did the travellers attempt to resolve Bartle's captivity to the Arcadians? That's the closest thing to a loose end in the whole story.
Grand job, John. Fun read, well worth the effort. I'm looking forward to going back through and reading at a more leisurely pace. This reading I found myself galloping through to catch up when I "fell behind".
Without posting any spoilers, let me say Roger that it was not a loose end. Rather it was hastily edited and trimmed.
Bartle was already "assumed" by the Arcadians. His body in the sleeping chamber may or may not have woken up had it been removed. And assuming of course they did, would he have been strong enough to run away with the others?
His...I hesitate to use the term with its other associations...AVATAR...was only viable within the range. You could think of it as a cell phone which is an expensive paperweight when service is not available. Nobody left the boundaries of the area or they would de-rez and/or die.
He led the others out of Arcadia by the back route. And when they parted, Aramis asked Bartle if the others might not kill him when they found out. He answered, "Maybe it would be an improvement."
Bartle was already "assumed" by the Arcadians. His body in the sleeping chamber may or may not have woken up had it been removed. And assuming of course they did, would he have been strong enough to run away with the others?
His...I hesitate to use the term with its other associations...AVATAR...was only viable within the range. You could think of it as a cell phone which is an expensive paperweight when service is not available. Nobody left the boundaries of the area or they would de-rez and/or die.
He led the others out of Arcadia by the back route. And when they parted, Aramis asked Bartle if the others might not kill him when they found out. He answered, "Maybe it would be an improvement."
I hope that everyone that would enjoy this story gets to read it. Please take a moment to leave your impressions here in the thread...not just for me but for anyone whose story you finish. It is a great encouragement to know who shared in this dream, and a blessing when something about it pleased you.
Lady Badger
Member
You all unwrinkle our stripes <3
I sincerely thank everyone who took the time to read and comment on John's work, and believe me, "That was a lot of work, you know"
(one of John's well-worn expressions). When he is "pregnant" with a story, I am his "midwife", and we go through his labor of love together. It's a process that takes several months, so when his "baby" is finally born, we can hardly wait to show it off you!
Your support makes him very happy, And when the Badger be happy, his Lady Badger be happy
I sincerely thank everyone who took the time to read and comment on John's work, and believe me, "That was a lot of work, you know"
(one of John's well-worn expressions). When he is "pregnant" with a story, I am his "midwife", and we go through his labor of love together. It's a process that takes several months, so when his "baby" is finally born, we can hardly wait to show it off you! Your support makes him very happy, And when the Badger be happy, his Lady Badger be happy
The place of the Arcadians? yes it was a very strange place. I was wondering how badger was going to solve the mystery of mere children running that place by doing nothing. I hope that man who showed them the way out is rescued somehow.
Still trying to catch up.
After I get home from Summer Camp (gone the week of the 13th...one more day folks!) I'll draft a carefully drawn COPY of Aramis' map. Mind you, it won't be the original because Mage Aramis drew it...the story says so.
I'll also put out a few bits of trivia such as how Aramis judged his position by the stars. I bet you never guessed how he did it! See, in Narnia it's a FLAT world so the EXACT moment of sunrise is the same all over the world! No time zones! So if you compare the position of certain stars at the exact moment of sunset, you can tell exactly where you are. The rest is a matter of trigonometry. And get this...on a flat world you can have not only a North Star but also a South Star and one for the east and west too! If you think of the northernmost point of land as the North Pole, there is not only a South Pole but also and East and West Pole. The Dawn Treader reached the door to Aslan's Country near the East Pole. Not being points of rotation, they wouldn't properly be called poles but rather marks, so make that the Eastern Mark. I will show you instructions for making a Kemal (the device Aramis used) though it won't be much use to you on a round world.
Did you know there is such a thing as a sighting stick? The tool Boffer and Jinks used to show the others their chosen path up the mountain pass is incredibly simple to make. Two long sticks (a broomstick and pencil would do!) make a very nice sighting stick. I can also show you how to judge the width of a river using your hat brim if you're curious. It's called the Napoleon Method. There are a lot of low-tech instruments used in Narnia, including a version of the Biltmore Stick, that did them quite well without GPS, transistors and batteries.
I'll also put out a few bits of trivia such as how Aramis judged his position by the stars. I bet you never guessed how he did it! See, in Narnia it's a FLAT world so the EXACT moment of sunrise is the same all over the world! No time zones! So if you compare the position of certain stars at the exact moment of sunset, you can tell exactly where you are. The rest is a matter of trigonometry. And get this...on a flat world you can have not only a North Star but also a South Star and one for the east and west too! If you think of the northernmost point of land as the North Pole, there is not only a South Pole but also and East and West Pole. The Dawn Treader reached the door to Aslan's Country near the East Pole. Not being points of rotation, they wouldn't properly be called poles but rather marks, so make that the Eastern Mark. I will show you instructions for making a Kemal (the device Aramis used) though it won't be much use to you on a round world.
Did you know there is such a thing as a sighting stick? The tool Boffer and Jinks used to show the others their chosen path up the mountain pass is incredibly simple to make. Two long sticks (a broomstick and pencil would do!) make a very nice sighting stick. I can also show you how to judge the width of a river using your hat brim if you're curious. It's called the Napoleon Method. There are a lot of low-tech instruments used in Narnia, including a version of the Biltmore Stick, that did them quite well without GPS, transistors and batteries.
This is my last post for a week. Scout Summer Camp.
Back after a week at Summer Camp.
I'm not usually a whiner or complainer but I've been gone a whole week and find my newly-completed story that was three months in the making has received absolutely no comments. All the people I thought might be taking a bit longer to finish all that text weren't even reading it. The comment period was dead before I had even left.
Yes I am disappointed, but more than my disappointment is my surprise and shock that a long story on TDL--anybody's long Narnia story--is an exercise in futility. I won't ever waste another three months of effort on a long-format story seven or eight people might read, and if I ever do I'll primarily promote it from my Twitter account and, if you're lucky, I might mention it here with a link to the URL.
Some of the best fanfics that could have ever be found on The Dancing Lawn are the ones that will never be written because most serious authors are discouraged by the lack of interest. If you invest in your TDL authors by reading and commenting, they will continue to work. I will continue to write occasional short stories here, but that's about it. Like the little tot that burns his hand on a hot frying pan, I'm sadder but wiser. Three months is a lot of time that could be spent doing other things. That's an entire season.
Oh, and I had a great week at summer camp.
I'm not usually a whiner or complainer but I've been gone a whole week and find my newly-completed story that was three months in the making has received absolutely no comments. All the people I thought might be taking a bit longer to finish all that text weren't even reading it. The comment period was dead before I had even left.
Yes I am disappointed, but more than my disappointment is my surprise and shock that a long story on TDL--anybody's long Narnia story--is an exercise in futility. I won't ever waste another three months of effort on a long-format story seven or eight people might read, and if I ever do I'll primarily promote it from my Twitter account and, if you're lucky, I might mention it here with a link to the URL.
Some of the best fanfics that could have ever be found on The Dancing Lawn are the ones that will never be written because most serious authors are discouraged by the lack of interest. If you invest in your TDL authors by reading and commenting, they will continue to work. I will continue to write occasional short stories here, but that's about it. Like the little tot that burns his hand on a hot frying pan, I'm sadder but wiser. Three months is a lot of time that could be spent doing other things. That's an entire season.
Oh, and I had a great week at summer camp.
Last edited:
SeaStar
New member
I could've missed something while reading the story (something I usually do because I have a hard time reading text on a computer screen
), but what technically happened to Hobin and Cendric? Did their souls still exist? Did they get un-being-ed, like the minuses in that weird Great Glass Elevator book by Roald Dahl?
Completely unrelated, Boffer and Jinks reminded me a little of these two otter brothers from Outcast of Redwall. I can't recall their names at the moment.
), but what technically happened to Hobin and Cendric? Did their souls still exist? Did they get un-being-ed, like the minuses in that weird Great Glass Elevator book by Roald Dahl?Completely unrelated, Boffer and Jinks reminded me a little of these two otter brothers from Outcast of Redwall. I can't recall their names at the moment.
Thanks for asking, SeaStar. Those were insightful questions and I'll try to give you insightful answers.
Hobin and Cendric ceased to exist physically but not METAPHYSICALLY. In other words, their bodies had been undone because history had been changed, but their souls could not be undone since they come from the spiritual realm where time and space do not limit what is possible. H & C would have had a good life in Aslan's Country like anyone else that died in good graces. Otherwise Aslan would not have killed them off so Erin and Gonvin could live, since that would be trying to fix one injustice with another. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know.
Gonvin and his son Erin were living the lives of undone people in Aslan's Country until time was set to rights. As for whether or not Gonvin and Erin would have any memories of what went on during that time, well, who knows? Maybe when they died they regained their memories of that time.
As for the otters and Redwall...I read the original book "Redwall" and the one about "Martin the Mouse". While they were entertaining, I wouldn't say Brian Jacques has had any influence on my writing whatsoever. However Jacques and I were both inspired by Kenneth Grahame. You see Grahame in both our works and thus our works have a sort of "resemblance".
I understand you weren't saying I imitated Jacques, so there is no need to reply to this with "Gee, I didn't mean it that way." I know you didn't. This is something I'm saying because there are a lot of beginning authors out there who are trying to learn classical writing. They need to know you can see what works for others and either STEAL it or MAKE IT YOUR OWN. Stealing it is plagiarism and wrong. Learning something from the techniques of others is learning and right. I will always cheerfully discuss the authors that influenced me the most with anyone interested. Of course my writing is not just a hodgepodge of other people's styles and techniques, but I am in a poor position to recognize from the inside out what makes my own writing distinct and unique.
Hobin and Cendric ceased to exist physically but not METAPHYSICALLY. In other words, their bodies had been undone because history had been changed, but their souls could not be undone since they come from the spiritual realm where time and space do not limit what is possible. H & C would have had a good life in Aslan's Country like anyone else that died in good graces. Otherwise Aslan would not have killed them off so Erin and Gonvin could live, since that would be trying to fix one injustice with another. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know.
Gonvin and his son Erin were living the lives of undone people in Aslan's Country until time was set to rights. As for whether or not Gonvin and Erin would have any memories of what went on during that time, well, who knows? Maybe when they died they regained their memories of that time.
As for the otters and Redwall...I read the original book "Redwall" and the one about "Martin the Mouse". While they were entertaining, I wouldn't say Brian Jacques has had any influence on my writing whatsoever. However Jacques and I were both inspired by Kenneth Grahame. You see Grahame in both our works and thus our works have a sort of "resemblance".
I understand you weren't saying I imitated Jacques, so there is no need to reply to this with "Gee, I didn't mean it that way." I know you didn't. This is something I'm saying because there are a lot of beginning authors out there who are trying to learn classical writing. They need to know you can see what works for others and either STEAL it or MAKE IT YOUR OWN. Stealing it is plagiarism and wrong. Learning something from the techniques of others is learning and right. I will always cheerfully discuss the authors that influenced me the most with anyone interested. Of course my writing is not just a hodgepodge of other people's styles and techniques, but I am in a poor position to recognize from the inside out what makes my own writing distinct and unique.
ndfan1993
New member
Never posted a final review, actually forgot to, even though I finished reading it a while ago..
I loved this story, as it had that special magical feel to it that all your other stories do, while staying so insanely close to the feel of both the 'canon text', and of Narnia itself! I loved the Characters, and the otters were cute, yet an obviously important bit to the story.. The ending was great and the story more than worth the sadly short time it took to read it. I'd go more in-depth, but to be honest, I don't remember it as well as I could... LOL. I loved reading this story and hope you write another one soon!
I loved this story, as it had that special magical feel to it that all your other stories do, while staying so insanely close to the feel of both the 'canon text', and of Narnia itself! I loved the Characters, and the otters were cute, yet an obviously important bit to the story.. The ending was great and the story more than worth the sadly short time it took to read it. I'd go more in-depth, but to be honest, I don't remember it as well as I could... LOL. I loved reading this story and hope you write another one soon!
SeaStar
New member
So as far as they were concerned it was basically like they'd died and gone to Heaven? OK, I pretty much get it now. Thanks for the explanation.
And I'm glad that you understood I wasn't implying you "stole" from BJ.
Last edited:
Copperfox
Well-known member
John, don't feel so bad. You know you have readers who appreciate you, notably me. I have also gone for long periods without getting any comments on stories of mine, but people eventually do notice. This is why I keep urging you to space chapters farther apart in time of posting: give the readership more time to notice your work. To that end, I intend to give bumps to this thread; if it is kept available, I expect more people to get to it.