Darius
- Thread starter SimonW
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 2, part 5… )
I haphazardly placed the magazine I was holding in my hands back onto the coffee table, getting up from my seat hurriedly.
I did not question my mother’s request, just nodded demurely without glancing at Darius despite the fact I could sense that he had also gotten up from beside me.
My parents stood to the side to allow me access past them back into the office study of Dr. Krocker.
I entered the room once more with trepidation in my footfalls. Despite this being the second time to enter his office, the atmosphere had changed dramatically without words being spoken. I shut the door behind me as I entered and sat back down in the chair facing Dr. Krocker’s desk. His demeanour seemed to have changed, no longer one of cheerful understanding but one of professional curiosity with a solemn conviction etched upon his serious face.
“Drew,” he stated with a slight nod of the head after I had sat down. “Do you recall your fifth birthday?”
Whatever I expected, I did not expect that question.
“I don’t,” I replied simply, knowing to myself that I had no recollection of that year in my life.
“I suspected as much,” he said without implying what he was thinking.
“Why do you want to know?” I asked with a hint of wariness at the answer he might give.
“No reason. Have your parents ever told you anything about it?”
I just looked at him blankly before shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head in reply.
Dr. Krocker seemed slightly perplexed as he sighed deeply before exhaling and he looked to have made up his mind.
Darius was beside me, glaring at Dr. Krocker cautiously, his arms folded in defiance as if daring the doctor to say something.
“Against my better judgement, they felt it was time for you to know that portion of your life. I have thought it over what they have divulged to me and I must say I have no alternative but to respect their decision,” Dr. Krocker said in an almost roundabout way that made me even more anxious as to what he was about to say.
Dr. Krocker seemed to perceive my uneasiness, granted I was not really hiding my emotions well at all upon my face.
With another outward sigh, he stood up from his desk and looked determined.
“Drew, I know how you must feel and I wish I could spare you this news. But I just have to admit this truth to you whilst your parents wish it to be out in the open. Drew, you were not always a girl. You were born a boy and your name was Darius,” Dr. Krocker announced, his voice distinct and precise as afterwards an awkward silence lapsed between the two of us.
End of Chapter 2.
( to be continued… )
I haphazardly placed the magazine I was holding in my hands back onto the coffee table, getting up from my seat hurriedly.
I did not question my mother’s request, just nodded demurely without glancing at Darius despite the fact I could sense that he had also gotten up from beside me.
My parents stood to the side to allow me access past them back into the office study of Dr. Krocker.
I entered the room once more with trepidation in my footfalls. Despite this being the second time to enter his office, the atmosphere had changed dramatically without words being spoken. I shut the door behind me as I entered and sat back down in the chair facing Dr. Krocker’s desk. His demeanour seemed to have changed, no longer one of cheerful understanding but one of professional curiosity with a solemn conviction etched upon his serious face.
“Drew,” he stated with a slight nod of the head after I had sat down. “Do you recall your fifth birthday?”
Whatever I expected, I did not expect that question.
“I don’t,” I replied simply, knowing to myself that I had no recollection of that year in my life.
“I suspected as much,” he said without implying what he was thinking.
“Why do you want to know?” I asked with a hint of wariness at the answer he might give.
“No reason. Have your parents ever told you anything about it?”
I just looked at him blankly before shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head in reply.
Dr. Krocker seemed slightly perplexed as he sighed deeply before exhaling and he looked to have made up his mind.
Darius was beside me, glaring at Dr. Krocker cautiously, his arms folded in defiance as if daring the doctor to say something.
“Against my better judgement, they felt it was time for you to know that portion of your life. I have thought it over what they have divulged to me and I must say I have no alternative but to respect their decision,” Dr. Krocker said in an almost roundabout way that made me even more anxious as to what he was about to say.
Dr. Krocker seemed to perceive my uneasiness, granted I was not really hiding my emotions well at all upon my face.
With another outward sigh, he stood up from his desk and looked determined.
“Drew, I know how you must feel and I wish I could spare you this news. But I just have to admit this truth to you whilst your parents wish it to be out in the open. Drew, you were not always a girl. You were born a boy and your name was Darius,” Dr. Krocker announced, his voice distinct and precise as afterwards an awkward silence lapsed between the two of us.
End of Chapter 2.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 3, part 1… )
Chapter 3: The Truth
I just sat there silently, my head reeling at trying to process what Dr. Krocker had just said to me. I could not help but feel an overwhelming sensation within my head and felt a silent scream inside of me.
It was barely twenty seconds until I realised that the screaming from within was being uttered by Darius beside me, a scream that had no intelligable words until I registered him fully beside me.
“What does he mean, Drew? Am I you or are you me? Who am I? Who am I? WHAT ARE WE?!?” Darius uttered within a frenzied rage, tears streaming down his cheeks in confused desperation as he curled up in a ball and rocked himself back and forth upon the wooden floor of Dr. Krocker’s office.
I glanced away from Darius as my mind had yet to fully comprehend any of the Doctor’s words fully. I balefully just slumped my head to glance at my hands in an effort to shut my mind blankly in this inner turmoil I had to face fully.
“Drew, did you hear what I said?” Dr. Krocker asked me sharply that made me stumble out of my mind stupor and looked at him with a vague sense of reality.
“I heard,” I muttered meekly, my own voice sounding strange to me.
I was born a boy? But, how can that be? I do not remember anything past my fifth birthday, only that I had one. There was just no memories before that. Before I knew it, I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, feeling the need to release these conflicting emotions I suddenly felt. I could hear the frustrated sobbing of Darius still on the floor beside me as he was crying along with me in this turbulent moment of our lives.
Dr. Krocker just stayed silent as he sat back down in his office chair, apparently sympathetic to my need to let the emotions out.
I did not stop, letting the whirlwind of emotions in my head overwhelm me to suddenly stop as soon as they had come. After my crying had stopped and the rage and confusion subsided, a sudden peace of clarity swept within my body. If all was true, then that meant I was Darius and Darius is me. We are one and the same, though why he appeared before me was still a mystery to me.
“Why can I see and hear him?” I suddenly heard myself speaking directly to Dr. Krocker with a soft yet level tone in my voice that slightly frightened myself.
( to be continued… )
Chapter 3: The Truth
I just sat there silently, my head reeling at trying to process what Dr. Krocker had just said to me. I could not help but feel an overwhelming sensation within my head and felt a silent scream inside of me.
It was barely twenty seconds until I realised that the screaming from within was being uttered by Darius beside me, a scream that had no intelligable words until I registered him fully beside me.
“What does he mean, Drew? Am I you or are you me? Who am I? Who am I? WHAT ARE WE?!?” Darius uttered within a frenzied rage, tears streaming down his cheeks in confused desperation as he curled up in a ball and rocked himself back and forth upon the wooden floor of Dr. Krocker’s office.
I glanced away from Darius as my mind had yet to fully comprehend any of the Doctor’s words fully. I balefully just slumped my head to glance at my hands in an effort to shut my mind blankly in this inner turmoil I had to face fully.
“Drew, did you hear what I said?” Dr. Krocker asked me sharply that made me stumble out of my mind stupor and looked at him with a vague sense of reality.
“I heard,” I muttered meekly, my own voice sounding strange to me.
I was born a boy? But, how can that be? I do not remember anything past my fifth birthday, only that I had one. There was just no memories before that. Before I knew it, I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, feeling the need to release these conflicting emotions I suddenly felt. I could hear the frustrated sobbing of Darius still on the floor beside me as he was crying along with me in this turbulent moment of our lives.
Dr. Krocker just stayed silent as he sat back down in his office chair, apparently sympathetic to my need to let the emotions out.
I did not stop, letting the whirlwind of emotions in my head overwhelm me to suddenly stop as soon as they had come. After my crying had stopped and the rage and confusion subsided, a sudden peace of clarity swept within my body. If all was true, then that meant I was Darius and Darius is me. We are one and the same, though why he appeared before me was still a mystery to me.
“Why can I see and hear him?” I suddenly heard myself speaking directly to Dr. Krocker with a soft yet level tone in my voice that slightly frightened myself.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 3, part 2… )
Dr. Krocker did not answer me right away. He gazed at me before replying in a careful and meticulous manner.
“There is no right answer to that question, Drew. But I suspect it had something to do with your fall in the woods. But do take it as merely a theory, as I said so earlier, I am not a medical expert,” Dr. Krocker stated with a laid back sitting position within his chair.
I just nodded in response, half listening but got the gist of what he said in my mind as a simple “No clue” in my brain.
“Will I be…normal?” I hesitated to ask, but felt the need to ask the question as soon as it entered my mind, feeling immediately ashamed at how I phrased the question.
“Normal is hard to define, Drew. You are still whom you are meant to be,” he responded almost immediately, surveying me as if trying to grasp what I was thinking.
‘He is a psychologist after all,’ I thought instantly whilst mentally rolling my eyes at my dumb thought to myself about a psychologist analysing me.
“Ask him why I ain’t whom I am meant to be, Drew,” Darius suddenly piped up next to me, having stopped crying and gotten up off the floor minutes before as Dr. Krocker and I were talking together.
I haphazardly thought about it for a split second as my attention was drawn away from Dr. Krocker towards Darius. Darius looked serious at his suggestion and crossed his arms whilst just staring at the doctor.
I lightly sighed before asking the question towards Dr. Krocker.
“Darius is here and he wants to know why he doesn’t feel like who he is, Dr Krocker?”
Dr. Krocker leaned forwards slightly in his chair with mild interest etched upon his face.
“Well, now that, is very telling, Drew. Tell him that the notion of identity in him is astounding and should be commended,” Dr. Krocker said in response seriously, no mocking undertones or superficial smile hiding behind his professional phrasing.
“He sounds like a condescending nitwit, Drew. What does he take you for, a parrot?” Darius muttered that made me slightly smirk at Darius’s statement to Dr. Krocker.
I noticed Dr. Krocker staring at me with a slightly stone-faced expression of confusion, possibly noticing my spontaneous smile out of nowhere.
“Sorry, Darius just thinks that you think I’m a parrot, you know, relaying messages to me when he can hear you perfectly fine,” I explained, my mirth still evident upon my face at the absurdity of it all.
But my smile soon faded as I witnessed no change in Dr. Krocker’s serious expression as I told him this.
( to be continued… )
Dr. Krocker did not answer me right away. He gazed at me before replying in a careful and meticulous manner.
“There is no right answer to that question, Drew. But I suspect it had something to do with your fall in the woods. But do take it as merely a theory, as I said so earlier, I am not a medical expert,” Dr. Krocker stated with a laid back sitting position within his chair.
I just nodded in response, half listening but got the gist of what he said in my mind as a simple “No clue” in my brain.
“Will I be…normal?” I hesitated to ask, but felt the need to ask the question as soon as it entered my mind, feeling immediately ashamed at how I phrased the question.
“Normal is hard to define, Drew. You are still whom you are meant to be,” he responded almost immediately, surveying me as if trying to grasp what I was thinking.
‘He is a psychologist after all,’ I thought instantly whilst mentally rolling my eyes at my dumb thought to myself about a psychologist analysing me.
“Ask him why I ain’t whom I am meant to be, Drew,” Darius suddenly piped up next to me, having stopped crying and gotten up off the floor minutes before as Dr. Krocker and I were talking together.
I haphazardly thought about it for a split second as my attention was drawn away from Dr. Krocker towards Darius. Darius looked serious at his suggestion and crossed his arms whilst just staring at the doctor.
I lightly sighed before asking the question towards Dr. Krocker.
“Darius is here and he wants to know why he doesn’t feel like who he is, Dr Krocker?”
Dr. Krocker leaned forwards slightly in his chair with mild interest etched upon his face.
“Well, now that, is very telling, Drew. Tell him that the notion of identity in him is astounding and should be commended,” Dr. Krocker said in response seriously, no mocking undertones or superficial smile hiding behind his professional phrasing.
“He sounds like a condescending nitwit, Drew. What does he take you for, a parrot?” Darius muttered that made me slightly smirk at Darius’s statement to Dr. Krocker.
I noticed Dr. Krocker staring at me with a slightly stone-faced expression of confusion, possibly noticing my spontaneous smile out of nowhere.
“Sorry, Darius just thinks that you think I’m a parrot, you know, relaying messages to me when he can hear you perfectly fine,” I explained, my mirth still evident upon my face at the absurdity of it all.
But my smile soon faded as I witnessed no change in Dr. Krocker’s serious expression as I told him this.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 3, part 3… )
There was a moment of silence between Dr. Krocker and myself, a baleful expression of suspicion upon Darius’s face.
“Frankly, Drew, I find the way you talk about Darius rather….perplexing,” suddenly muttered Dr. Krocker as his shoulders slackened slightly within his chair.
“Why?” I simply asked before I noticed Darius about to open his mouth in protest to what Dr. Krocker just announced.
“Well, to be honest with you, a manifestation of trauma such as you experienced should not make you just suddenly manifest a totally independent identity that speaks for itself,” mused Dr. Krocker, slightly talking to himself before seeing my confused expression upon my face after his rambling.
“I mean, how can you know Darius at all from your time as a girl?” Dr. Krocker asked in simple terms, obviously dumbing the question down for me in a non-condescending tone.
That made me take a moment to pause, having never considered it before. I mulled over this question for a moment, feeling confused as I glanced down at my hands in thought. It made me reconsider everything up until now, all the interactions between Darius and myself and how he reacted differently or the same way I would have. My head felt light and slightly fuzzy as I tried to think.
“There’s no point in this, Drew. He’s just confusing us,” I heard Darius say in a condescending tone.
‘Us?’ I heard myself mentally wonder, glancing up to see Darius giving a look of contempt towards Dr. Krocker, his arms folded in defiance.
( to be continued… )
There was a moment of silence between Dr. Krocker and myself, a baleful expression of suspicion upon Darius’s face.
“Frankly, Drew, I find the way you talk about Darius rather….perplexing,” suddenly muttered Dr. Krocker as his shoulders slackened slightly within his chair.
“Why?” I simply asked before I noticed Darius about to open his mouth in protest to what Dr. Krocker just announced.
“Well, to be honest with you, a manifestation of trauma such as you experienced should not make you just suddenly manifest a totally independent identity that speaks for itself,” mused Dr. Krocker, slightly talking to himself before seeing my confused expression upon my face after his rambling.
“I mean, how can you know Darius at all from your time as a girl?” Dr. Krocker asked in simple terms, obviously dumbing the question down for me in a non-condescending tone.
That made me take a moment to pause, having never considered it before. I mulled over this question for a moment, feeling confused as I glanced down at my hands in thought. It made me reconsider everything up until now, all the interactions between Darius and myself and how he reacted differently or the same way I would have. My head felt light and slightly fuzzy as I tried to think.
“There’s no point in this, Drew. He’s just confusing us,” I heard Darius say in a condescending tone.
‘Us?’ I heard myself mentally wonder, glancing up to see Darius giving a look of contempt towards Dr. Krocker, his arms folded in defiance.
( to be continued… )
SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 3, part 4… )
Dr. Krocker let out an audible sigh, loud enough for me to hear.
His meticulous hands came uncrossed from each other as he pressed his intercom buzzer to call into Carol in the outer office.
“Please escort the Sanders back into my office, Carol,” he interjected with a monosyllabic tone in his voice almost akin to that of weariness.
“Yes, Dr. Krocker,” the chipper response came after Dr. Krocker had stopped speaking and let his hand leave the button.
The waiting game began once again as the two of us stayed silent for a minute before my parents were led back into Dr. Krocker’s office. The action of this dance was not lost upon me, feeling a slight case of repetition in my mind. But I was grateful to see my mother and father again. I held no ill will to speaking with Dr. Krocker alone but could tell that despite being a psychologist, treating kids was not his strongest point.
My parents sat down beside me, my mother on my right whilst my father on my left. They did not seem perplexed or vexed in any manner but I could tell that was a mask for them to wear for my sake. We sat together as a family, the ease of tension lifting like a white veil of a bride on her wedding day. But I could not shake that ominous feeling as I noticed Darius from the corner of my eyes still glaring at Dr. Krocker. It did not look evil or ill intentioned, just wary and cautious like a trapped animal.
( to be continued… )
Dr. Krocker let out an audible sigh, loud enough for me to hear.
His meticulous hands came uncrossed from each other as he pressed his intercom buzzer to call into Carol in the outer office.
“Please escort the Sanders back into my office, Carol,” he interjected with a monosyllabic tone in his voice almost akin to that of weariness.
“Yes, Dr. Krocker,” the chipper response came after Dr. Krocker had stopped speaking and let his hand leave the button.
The waiting game began once again as the two of us stayed silent for a minute before my parents were led back into Dr. Krocker’s office. The action of this dance was not lost upon me, feeling a slight case of repetition in my mind. But I was grateful to see my mother and father again. I held no ill will to speaking with Dr. Krocker alone but could tell that despite being a psychologist, treating kids was not his strongest point.
My parents sat down beside me, my mother on my right whilst my father on my left. They did not seem perplexed or vexed in any manner but I could tell that was a mask for them to wear for my sake. We sat together as a family, the ease of tension lifting like a white veil of a bride on her wedding day. But I could not shake that ominous feeling as I noticed Darius from the corner of my eyes still glaring at Dr. Krocker. It did not look evil or ill intentioned, just wary and cautious like a trapped animal.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 3, part 5… )
My parents and I looked at Dr. Krocker expectantly, the middle aged man sitting opposite us with a serious looking consternation upon his brow.
“This is a rather unorthodox approach, but I can attest that Drew has undergone some serious changes. And I am not just stating the obvious fact of her past,” Dr. Krocker announced slowly, being mindful of his words towards the family.
The Sanders family nodded in understanding, but Dr. Krocker could detect the hurried nodding as a coping mechanism that screamed without words for him to get to his point.
Coughing lightly, Dr. Krocker steeled himself under the baleful gaze and decided to speed things along.
“I would not cause undue stress to Drew or her family at this time. I would recommend a trip to a local doctor, just for peace of mind the girl did not injure her head. But, aside from this, if Drew is happy with this, she should stay at home indefinitely on bed rest until she feels she should go back to school,” Dr. Krocker stated, a small frown of worry upon his face for a moment as he second-guessed his own words coming from his mouth.
“But, what about…?” I asked but was cut short by Dr. Krocker’s voice interrupting my own.
“If Darius comes back, just deal with him as you see fit. This boy is a manifestation of your past self, he should not wish you any harm,” Dr. Krocker stated plainly to me, making me nod my head in understanding and made me relax in my chair.
I could feel the tension of my parents also somewhat ease, possibly relieved that I was able to not be afraid of my past self and come to grips with it.
“Thank you, Dr. Krocker,” my mother said sincerely, as her and my dad stood up from their chairs.
I followed my parents and stood up beside them, Dr. Krocker vaguely giving a short nod in our direction.
“Yes, all good, all good. If ever you need my services again, I’ll be here,” Dr. Krocker said gallantly as we left his office, shutting the door behind us as we left.
End of Chapter 3.
( to be continued… )
My parents and I looked at Dr. Krocker expectantly, the middle aged man sitting opposite us with a serious looking consternation upon his brow.
“This is a rather unorthodox approach, but I can attest that Drew has undergone some serious changes. And I am not just stating the obvious fact of her past,” Dr. Krocker announced slowly, being mindful of his words towards the family.
The Sanders family nodded in understanding, but Dr. Krocker could detect the hurried nodding as a coping mechanism that screamed without words for him to get to his point.
Coughing lightly, Dr. Krocker steeled himself under the baleful gaze and decided to speed things along.
“I would not cause undue stress to Drew or her family at this time. I would recommend a trip to a local doctor, just for peace of mind the girl did not injure her head. But, aside from this, if Drew is happy with this, she should stay at home indefinitely on bed rest until she feels she should go back to school,” Dr. Krocker stated, a small frown of worry upon his face for a moment as he second-guessed his own words coming from his mouth.
“But, what about…?” I asked but was cut short by Dr. Krocker’s voice interrupting my own.
“If Darius comes back, just deal with him as you see fit. This boy is a manifestation of your past self, he should not wish you any harm,” Dr. Krocker stated plainly to me, making me nod my head in understanding and made me relax in my chair.
I could feel the tension of my parents also somewhat ease, possibly relieved that I was able to not be afraid of my past self and come to grips with it.
“Thank you, Dr. Krocker,” my mother said sincerely, as her and my dad stood up from their chairs.
I followed my parents and stood up beside them, Dr. Krocker vaguely giving a short nod in our direction.
“Yes, all good, all good. If ever you need my services again, I’ll be here,” Dr. Krocker said gallantly as we left his office, shutting the door behind us as we left.
End of Chapter 3.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 1… )
Chapter 4: Hospital Visit
I had found myself within a hospital room about three hours later, the time being seven thirty when I was admitted in a bed within the Children’s Ward of the local hospital. My parents were adamant to wait in the waiting room whilst the staff of the hospital had ordered me to stay overnight for conducting tests. I was lucky enough to have my own hospital room but I still felt uncertain and anxious about my unfamiliar surroundings. The room was cozy enough but held that weight of coldness I knew all too well. I felt slightly scared at the moment, my hands gripping the thin covers of the hospital bed over my body in the flimsy nightgown in an attempt to thus far unsuccessfully get rid of my fears.
I glanced over towards the bedside table that had a digital clock depicting the time in bold red electric numbers. It currently was counting as the seconds ticked by, flashing the numbers across the digital screen. It currently was nine forty at night.
“Is it really that time already?” I heard Darius mutter, he was sitting upon one of the visitor’s chairs in a corner of the room.
I barely acknowledged him, glancing away from the clock and corner he was in.
“It’s like that now, is it, Drew?” I heard him say sourly, but I continued to ignore him as best as possible.
“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just a figment of you, apparently,” he continued, his sarcastic undertone not lost on me as I just bit my lower lip in an expression of frustration and stress.
I heard Darius let out a frustrated sigh from behind me and I glanced his way. I was surprised to see him look defeated in a mixture of sadness and exhausted rage.
( to be continued… )
Chapter 4: Hospital Visit
I had found myself within a hospital room about three hours later, the time being seven thirty when I was admitted in a bed within the Children’s Ward of the local hospital. My parents were adamant to wait in the waiting room whilst the staff of the hospital had ordered me to stay overnight for conducting tests. I was lucky enough to have my own hospital room but I still felt uncertain and anxious about my unfamiliar surroundings. The room was cozy enough but held that weight of coldness I knew all too well. I felt slightly scared at the moment, my hands gripping the thin covers of the hospital bed over my body in the flimsy nightgown in an attempt to thus far unsuccessfully get rid of my fears.
I glanced over towards the bedside table that had a digital clock depicting the time in bold red electric numbers. It currently was counting as the seconds ticked by, flashing the numbers across the digital screen. It currently was nine forty at night.
“Is it really that time already?” I heard Darius mutter, he was sitting upon one of the visitor’s chairs in a corner of the room.
I barely acknowledged him, glancing away from the clock and corner he was in.
“It’s like that now, is it, Drew?” I heard him say sourly, but I continued to ignore him as best as possible.
“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just a figment of you, apparently,” he continued, his sarcastic undertone not lost on me as I just bit my lower lip in an expression of frustration and stress.
I heard Darius let out a frustrated sigh from behind me and I glanced his way. I was surprised to see him look defeated in a mixture of sadness and exhausted rage.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 2… )
As hard as I tried, I could not fall asleep. The worry and fear of what was happening to me was just unbearable.
I turned back to look at Darius but found him no longer in the chair in the corner, nor anywhere in my field of vision. I glanced around the dimly lit hospital room but found him nowhere to be seen. This just made my fears even more enhanced, making my body quiver in fright at being truely alone.
I could do nothing but lay back down within the hospital bed, curling my body in towards itself with my mind racing at the unknown of tomorrow. I could feel the tears leaving my eyes as I wept freely upon the sterile smelling pillow under my head.
I must have fallen asleep crying, for next thing I knew I was awakened by the sudden sound of the hospital bedroom curtain being pushed aside. Startled, I opened my eyes suddenly and saw a woman dressed in a nurse’s uniform standing beside my bed with a look of friendly reproach.
Her stern smile seemed to radiate concern but the stony brown eyes had a spark of arrogance that held a no-nonsense attitude. I had often seen this in other adults, like teachers or other figures of authority.
Her silken black hair was tied up in a bun whilst her nurse cap sat perfectly atop her head and the rest of her uniform consisted of a white top with a blue overcoat depicting the hospital’s insignia embroidered underneath it and on the side of her left armband. A small placard was pinned to her overcoat that displayed a name tag and around her neck an identification card dangled from a detachable ribbon of sorts.
I was unable to see her bottom attire but noticed the start of a long black blouse that fitted around her midriff and would continue down to what I assumed would be past her lower legs. The words on her name tag had the name “Matron I.Bergman”.
( to be continued… )
As hard as I tried, I could not fall asleep. The worry and fear of what was happening to me was just unbearable.
I turned back to look at Darius but found him no longer in the chair in the corner, nor anywhere in my field of vision. I glanced around the dimly lit hospital room but found him nowhere to be seen. This just made my fears even more enhanced, making my body quiver in fright at being truely alone.
I could do nothing but lay back down within the hospital bed, curling my body in towards itself with my mind racing at the unknown of tomorrow. I could feel the tears leaving my eyes as I wept freely upon the sterile smelling pillow under my head.
I must have fallen asleep crying, for next thing I knew I was awakened by the sudden sound of the hospital bedroom curtain being pushed aside. Startled, I opened my eyes suddenly and saw a woman dressed in a nurse’s uniform standing beside my bed with a look of friendly reproach.
Her stern smile seemed to radiate concern but the stony brown eyes had a spark of arrogance that held a no-nonsense attitude. I had often seen this in other adults, like teachers or other figures of authority.
Her silken black hair was tied up in a bun whilst her nurse cap sat perfectly atop her head and the rest of her uniform consisted of a white top with a blue overcoat depicting the hospital’s insignia embroidered underneath it and on the side of her left armband. A small placard was pinned to her overcoat that displayed a name tag and around her neck an identification card dangled from a detachable ribbon of sorts.
I was unable to see her bottom attire but noticed the start of a long black blouse that fitted around her midriff and would continue down to what I assumed would be past her lower legs. The words on her name tag had the name “Matron I.Bergman”.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 3… )
I immediately glanced around my hospital room for any signs of Darius but found he was nowhere to be seen, at least for the moment.
The nurse in front of me seemed not perturbed by my presence and just held herself in a strict posture as she glanced down at the end of my hospital bed that had my medical information upon it in a folder.
“Drew, is there anything I can get you?” Matron Bergman asked in a pleasant but brisk tone of voice.
I had at this point stopped my visual search of Darius and resigned myself to paying attention to the woman in front of me.
I did not answer right away, allowing my mind to process what Matron Bergman had asked of me before finally shaking my head in response.
I could tell my non-vocal reply seemed to irritate this nurse. The simulated smile only wavered but a moment from her face a fraction of a second before the stony cheerful facade was plastered upon her face once again.
“Well, that is alright. The trolley shall be making its way soon enough should you feel hungry,” she said plainly and picked up my medical folder with a look of focus as she opened it. Matron Bergman seemed to skim through the two sheets of paper within my medical folder with practiced precision of her eyes.
( to be continued… )
I immediately glanced around my hospital room for any signs of Darius but found he was nowhere to be seen, at least for the moment.
The nurse in front of me seemed not perturbed by my presence and just held herself in a strict posture as she glanced down at the end of my hospital bed that had my medical information upon it in a folder.
“Drew, is there anything I can get you?” Matron Bergman asked in a pleasant but brisk tone of voice.
I had at this point stopped my visual search of Darius and resigned myself to paying attention to the woman in front of me.
I did not answer right away, allowing my mind to process what Matron Bergman had asked of me before finally shaking my head in response.
I could tell my non-vocal reply seemed to irritate this nurse. The simulated smile only wavered but a moment from her face a fraction of a second before the stony cheerful facade was plastered upon her face once again.
“Well, that is alright. The trolley shall be making its way soon enough should you feel hungry,” she said plainly and picked up my medical folder with a look of focus as she opened it. Matron Bergman seemed to skim through the two sheets of paper within my medical folder with practiced precision of her eyes.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
Exactly.
But that may also be the fact that the woman is depicted as an adult in this world and you know you pegged that most adults in this are ignorant of the intelligence the children possess in this story.
( chapter 4, part 4… )
Matron Bergman gave a surprised sigh of finality. She let her gaze wander from my medical sheet as I slowly sat up within my bed, my back supported upon my pillowed bed head.
“Your treatment shall commence at roughly mid-day today,” she responded with precise words before the militant efficiencies of her eyes resolved to a mockery of kindness.
I just nodded in response dumbly, not trustful of her brown eyes that held a smugness of disdain behind them.
But, the matron’s look wavered from me as she placed my medical info file back at the end of my bed and beat a hasty retreat from my room. She left with the clacking of her black heels upon the marble hallway, a reminder of how strange I felt within this solitary room.
“Well, I don’t like her either,” I heard Darius mutter darkly from behind me.
I turned my head to see him standing against the back wall of my room, his matted hair and scratched hands still a sign of his rugged appearance since I had first met him in the woods.
“I never said that,” I replied to him.
“Nope, but you thought it,” he shrugged in reply as he sat down within the visitor’s chair by my bedside.
I did not respond to that, knowing what he said was true. I studied his face, as if trying to detect a hint of inner meaning to his words. Having found nothing in his honest face and eyes, I merely resigned myself to shrugging back towards him.
“Why are you here?” I finally found myself asking him.
“In honest truth, I dunno,” Darius stated plainly, his voice a mix of concern and fear.
“I don’t know either,” I admitted, feeling a sense of familiarity in Darius’s feelings.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 5… )
I felt a sense of panic overtake me, unsure of my inner feelings.
I noticed Darius looking unsure of himself as his own face was looking frightened.
I tried calming myself down, ignoring my conflicting thoughts as I could sense a slight pressure of uncertainty growing within my mind.
Clasping my head for a slight moment, I glanced over towards Darius for support, but he was no longer in the chair beside me.
I could not sense him anywhere within the room and that just made me feel even more insecure as I began to silently weep to myself.
I was scared all at once, replaying the events of yesterday in my mind over and over, unable to come to grips of reality. My mind fragmented in my head as I questioned reality all at once. Who was I? Did it really matter anymore? What could I do?
These thoughts swam endlessly within my head as I could finally take no more of it, feeling myself spiral out of control mentally.
Then, I heard it, the voice of Darius, calm and reassuring towards me, “Drew, you will be all right.”
I glanced up in surprise, having thought he was gone. But, there he was, the boy I could have been, standing by my hospital bedside with a worried expression in his brown eyes but a small smile of confidence.
“I will not abandon you,” he stated with a whispered breath, but it was all I needed to hear to feel instantly at ease.
“You promise?” I asked, feeling slightly foolish at this bequest but vulnerable enough to gauge his honesty at that moment.
“I promise,” he remarked as his smile broadened across his face. Darius shook his head in mirth at the absurdity of it all.
I smiled back at Darius, finally getting over my previous fears a few moments ago.
I glanced over at the clock upon my bedside table, noticing it was half past nine currently.
( to be continued… )
I felt a sense of panic overtake me, unsure of my inner feelings.
I noticed Darius looking unsure of himself as his own face was looking frightened.
I tried calming myself down, ignoring my conflicting thoughts as I could sense a slight pressure of uncertainty growing within my mind.
Clasping my head for a slight moment, I glanced over towards Darius for support, but he was no longer in the chair beside me.
I could not sense him anywhere within the room and that just made me feel even more insecure as I began to silently weep to myself.
I was scared all at once, replaying the events of yesterday in my mind over and over, unable to come to grips of reality. My mind fragmented in my head as I questioned reality all at once. Who was I? Did it really matter anymore? What could I do?
These thoughts swam endlessly within my head as I could finally take no more of it, feeling myself spiral out of control mentally.
Then, I heard it, the voice of Darius, calm and reassuring towards me, “Drew, you will be all right.”
I glanced up in surprise, having thought he was gone. But, there he was, the boy I could have been, standing by my hospital bedside with a worried expression in his brown eyes but a small smile of confidence.
“I will not abandon you,” he stated with a whispered breath, but it was all I needed to hear to feel instantly at ease.
“You promise?” I asked, feeling slightly foolish at this bequest but vulnerable enough to gauge his honesty at that moment.
“I promise,” he remarked as his smile broadened across his face. Darius shook his head in mirth at the absurdity of it all.
I smiled back at Darius, finally getting over my previous fears a few moments ago.
I glanced over at the clock upon my bedside table, noticing it was half past nine currently.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 6… )
I felt somewhat restless and bordering upon the brink of boredom as I watched the minutes and seconds tick by upon the digital clock by my bedside.
I tried my best to calm the unease I felt but just relaxed my body as best I could within my hospital bed. It did not stop the build up of anxiety I was currently experiencing.
With a bored sigh, I just gazed at Darius with mutual understanding that despite what was happening to the both of us, we would get through this together somehow.
It was still surreal to me that the two of us were talking and feeling somewhat the same emotions that seemed to partly coincide with each other.
‘But, you are not him,’ a small doubtful thought crept within the back of my mind with unease, as if still trying to rationally understand my own thoughts and feelings.
I was initially shocked at that small voice in my head, instantly seeing a sad expression darken over Darius’s face like he was hurt by the words I had not spoken.
“Sorry,” I muttered sincerely, feeling somewhat ashamed as I quickly looked downward to avoid the pained look Darius had made.
My eyes wavered from looking directly at Darius, glancing down towards my hands laid down upon the hospital mattress covering my body comfortably.
“No need,” I just heard him reply with a soft tone that just made me look back up quickly.
The implication of sadness behind the quick reply was obviously Darius trying to put up a facade of not caring.
But, we both knew he was lying at that moment, the truth unspoken between us.
I wanted to say something at that point but knew it was pointless as we sat staring at each other for a long period of time. It may have been only a few minutes at most, but to us it felt like forever.
( to be continued… )
I felt somewhat restless and bordering upon the brink of boredom as I watched the minutes and seconds tick by upon the digital clock by my bedside.
I tried my best to calm the unease I felt but just relaxed my body as best I could within my hospital bed. It did not stop the build up of anxiety I was currently experiencing.
With a bored sigh, I just gazed at Darius with mutual understanding that despite what was happening to the both of us, we would get through this together somehow.
It was still surreal to me that the two of us were talking and feeling somewhat the same emotions that seemed to partly coincide with each other.
‘But, you are not him,’ a small doubtful thought crept within the back of my mind with unease, as if still trying to rationally understand my own thoughts and feelings.
I was initially shocked at that small voice in my head, instantly seeing a sad expression darken over Darius’s face like he was hurt by the words I had not spoken.
“Sorry,” I muttered sincerely, feeling somewhat ashamed as I quickly looked downward to avoid the pained look Darius had made.
My eyes wavered from looking directly at Darius, glancing down towards my hands laid down upon the hospital mattress covering my body comfortably.
“No need,” I just heard him reply with a soft tone that just made me look back up quickly.
The implication of sadness behind the quick reply was obviously Darius trying to put up a facade of not caring.
But, we both knew he was lying at that moment, the truth unspoken between us.
I wanted to say something at that point but knew it was pointless as we sat staring at each other for a long period of time. It may have been only a few minutes at most, but to us it felt like forever.
( to be continued… )
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Copperfox
Well-known member
I'm glad that you came back to this. It just needs a little tightening up in details. For instance, saying "invisible words" is confusing. And if two characters are feeling the same emotions, with your narrator calling it surreal, it's unnecessary to say that the feelings seem to coincide.
SimonW
Well-known member
I am glad too.
I know, my mind was just on auto write for some reason or another. Maybe my contrast between dialogue and the written language made me forget about it. Ha, “invisible words”.
I shall rectify the points brought up by reading thorough my post above, thanks for noticing, CF.
But, Drew seems to be going through some internal crisis, so leaving the reader confused is a projection of her inner feelings of turmoil on a grand scale. If our narrator is confused, then maybe we should be confused partly too?
Anyway, have rewritten what I could slightly to make the flow of writing a bit more less messy.
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 7… )
Darius just continued to stare balefully at Drew, the boy’s grimace deepening upon his face. He slowly broke his look from the girl whom he knew for less than two days ago.
He was hurt emotionally, he knew it and somehow he knew that Drew knew it also. A strange connection mentally between the two of them to be sure. But he still could not grasp his thoughts around it, that he was somehow not real. Shaking his head slightly, Darius just could not fathom deep thinking of that kind.
With a mental inward sigh to himself, Darius allowed himself to shift his gaze away from Drew, not out of forgiveness, but out of prideful spite of his own making. One would call it remorse, in a way, maybe shame of letting Drew see his vulnerable side. But, if they were linked mentally or emotionally, maybe trying to mask his feelings was a waste too. Feeling frustrated, Darius just glanced at his hands, the still fresh scratch marks upon them. How long had he had them? The clothes he wore were no different, either. Even Darius did not know how long he had been like this. Darius only knew they remained, a constant reminder of his trek in the woods.
I knew Darius was ignoring me, possibly because he had shown emotion. But, that seemed normal to me. Anybody would be freaked out if they found themselves to be not real. I would even lash out like he did in Dr. Krocker’s office. I just felt sad for him to be ignored, because only I knew what Darius was feeling in that moment. I was the only one able to see and hear Darius.
I glanced up and noticed Darius was looking glumly at his scratched up hands.
“I’m still so sorry, Darius,” I stated softly, my voice still being sincere in my second apology towards him.
He seemed to gaze up slowly, his face crestfallen but I noticed the effort he put into his face to appear somewhat cheerful.
“No worries, Drew,” he replied, obviously his voice wavering on trying to sound normal in a noncommittal way.
I did not press it, noticing the slight edge to his response being a boy trying to put on a brave front when recently offended.
I gave Darius a halfway grin in response, obviously we knew where the other stood in emotions. It was best to let bygones be bygones and let the awkward moments pass.
But, as always, that was easier done than said as the time ticked by slowly within my hospital room as we stayed in awkward silence after that brief conversation.
( to be continued… )
Darius just continued to stare balefully at Drew, the boy’s grimace deepening upon his face. He slowly broke his look from the girl whom he knew for less than two days ago.
He was hurt emotionally, he knew it and somehow he knew that Drew knew it also. A strange connection mentally between the two of them to be sure. But he still could not grasp his thoughts around it, that he was somehow not real. Shaking his head slightly, Darius just could not fathom deep thinking of that kind.
With a mental inward sigh to himself, Darius allowed himself to shift his gaze away from Drew, not out of forgiveness, but out of prideful spite of his own making. One would call it remorse, in a way, maybe shame of letting Drew see his vulnerable side. But, if they were linked mentally or emotionally, maybe trying to mask his feelings was a waste too. Feeling frustrated, Darius just glanced at his hands, the still fresh scratch marks upon them. How long had he had them? The clothes he wore were no different, either. Even Darius did not know how long he had been like this. Darius only knew they remained, a constant reminder of his trek in the woods.
I knew Darius was ignoring me, possibly because he had shown emotion. But, that seemed normal to me. Anybody would be freaked out if they found themselves to be not real. I would even lash out like he did in Dr. Krocker’s office. I just felt sad for him to be ignored, because only I knew what Darius was feeling in that moment. I was the only one able to see and hear Darius.
I glanced up and noticed Darius was looking glumly at his scratched up hands.
“I’m still so sorry, Darius,” I stated softly, my voice still being sincere in my second apology towards him.
He seemed to gaze up slowly, his face crestfallen but I noticed the effort he put into his face to appear somewhat cheerful.
“No worries, Drew,” he replied, obviously his voice wavering on trying to sound normal in a noncommittal way.
I did not press it, noticing the slight edge to his response being a boy trying to put on a brave front when recently offended.
I gave Darius a halfway grin in response, obviously we knew where the other stood in emotions. It was best to let bygones be bygones and let the awkward moments pass.
But, as always, that was easier done than said as the time ticked by slowly within my hospital room as we stayed in awkward silence after that brief conversation.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 8… )
I had waited in somber silence, not daring to talk to Darius as there was nothing more to be said between us. I had waited patiently until the digital clock beside me read until ten fifty. I decided to get up out of my hospital bed to give myself a much needed pee break and hot shower so I would not feel the need later at my mid-day appointment.
Thankfully, I noticed Darius had not followed me to the bathroom as I had finished my shower and put on a fresh hospital gown before exiting the adjoining bathroom. I noted he was still seated within the bedside chair, apparently asleep.
I did not bother waking him, my mind mulling over the fact he was asleep at all, let alone tired. Or was that just a figment of my mind imitating these thoughts?
He lightly moved his head, a small whimper of a sound escaping his lips that made me give pause at that current moment. Was my internal thoughts disturbing his slumber? Or was that just his own inner turmoil at work here?
Shaking my own head at the absurdity, I willed myself not to think as hard as I slipped back into my hospital bed and under the covered sheets silently so not to disturb him.
I must have drifted asleep myself, for the next thing I recall was being jostled awake lightly by a hand upon my shoulder.
At first, I thought it was Darius, but as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I could see a woman wearing a nurse uniform hovering above me over my bed.
My second thought was that it must be Matron Bergman, but my clouded mind shifted into clarity as the uniform was not the same, more modern in design. And the face depicted was that of a younger woman, radiating with a smile of relief that showed true compassion and concern.
The nurse had immediately stopped gently shaking me as she noticed I was roused awake.
( to be continued… )
I had waited in somber silence, not daring to talk to Darius as there was nothing more to be said between us. I had waited patiently until the digital clock beside me read until ten fifty. I decided to get up out of my hospital bed to give myself a much needed pee break and hot shower so I would not feel the need later at my mid-day appointment.
Thankfully, I noticed Darius had not followed me to the bathroom as I had finished my shower and put on a fresh hospital gown before exiting the adjoining bathroom. I noted he was still seated within the bedside chair, apparently asleep.
I did not bother waking him, my mind mulling over the fact he was asleep at all, let alone tired. Or was that just a figment of my mind imitating these thoughts?
He lightly moved his head, a small whimper of a sound escaping his lips that made me give pause at that current moment. Was my internal thoughts disturbing his slumber? Or was that just his own inner turmoil at work here?
Shaking my own head at the absurdity, I willed myself not to think as hard as I slipped back into my hospital bed and under the covered sheets silently so not to disturb him.
I must have drifted asleep myself, for the next thing I recall was being jostled awake lightly by a hand upon my shoulder.
At first, I thought it was Darius, but as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I could see a woman wearing a nurse uniform hovering above me over my bed.
My second thought was that it must be Matron Bergman, but my clouded mind shifted into clarity as the uniform was not the same, more modern in design. And the face depicted was that of a younger woman, radiating with a smile of relief that showed true compassion and concern.
The nurse had immediately stopped gently shaking me as she noticed I was roused awake.
( to be continued… )
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SimonW
Well-known member
( chapter 4, part 9… )
The tag the nurse wore displayed the name J. Aspen in black print, obviously her name.
Her warm smile did not waver from her face as she let go of my shoulder and took a step back. She was no longer hovering over my body to give me space as I sat up groggily from my lying down position within my hospital bed.
“Drew, your scheduled appointment is upcoming soon,” the nurse stated with a cadence in her voice of softness.
I just nodded dumbly, still feeling slightly groggy from the sudden awakening I had gotten mere moments ago. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted once more to my surroundings within the hospital room.
I turned my head from glancing at the nurse towards the bedside table and noted the time upon the digital clock reading eleven forty five.
The nurse known as J. Aspen did not seem in a hurry, nor distressed or nervous in any way. I focused once more upon her, taking in her uniform with fresh eyes as I was able to take in more detail.
The dress code was of standard white with red accent trimming upon the collar of her uniform over jacket. The underlaying shirt was modest red that was noticeable from the arms underneath the white jacket that had the prominent insignia of the hospital in view upon her front jacket pocket. A knee length skirt in off cream white and what completed her outfit that I could see were white lace socks and black high heels.
( to be continued… )
The tag the nurse wore displayed the name J. Aspen in black print, obviously her name.
Her warm smile did not waver from her face as she let go of my shoulder and took a step back. She was no longer hovering over my body to give me space as I sat up groggily from my lying down position within my hospital bed.
“Drew, your scheduled appointment is upcoming soon,” the nurse stated with a cadence in her voice of softness.
I just nodded dumbly, still feeling slightly groggy from the sudden awakening I had gotten mere moments ago. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted once more to my surroundings within the hospital room.
I turned my head from glancing at the nurse towards the bedside table and noted the time upon the digital clock reading eleven forty five.
The nurse known as J. Aspen did not seem in a hurry, nor distressed or nervous in any way. I focused once more upon her, taking in her uniform with fresh eyes as I was able to take in more detail.
The dress code was of standard white with red accent trimming upon the collar of her uniform over jacket. The underlaying shirt was modest red that was noticeable from the arms underneath the white jacket that had the prominent insignia of the hospital in view upon her front jacket pocket. A knee length skirt in off cream white and what completed her outfit that I could see were white lace socks and black high heels.
( to be continued… )
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