Destiny J. Adams
New member
Here is a story I wrote a couple weeks ago. Just wondering what you guys thought!
Edmund's Struggles
Destiny J. Adams
February 2009
Full Summary: This is a story that explores what would have happened if Edmund had followed Aslan to his death and not the girls. This story goes deep into the relationship between the four Pevensies, but it is not slash or incest.
Disclaimer: I always manage to forget these things, but this time I remembered! I do not own the characters of The Chronicles of Narnia. They belong to C.S. Lewis. I will try to return them in the condition that I borrowed them. This story was not written for the sake of money, but for the sake of fun. So I'm good.
I'm a traitor. The words refused to leave him. They haunted him everyday, every time he would look at one of his siblings, every time he looked at the Lion. The words taunted him in his sleep, hanging over him in the form of a tortuous dream, ready to fling him to the Stone or the Witch's castle at any moment. They taunted him to shame. He didn't belong on the throne, he didn't deserved to be ruling Narnia from Cair Paravel.
Nobody knew where Aslan had gone that night but him. None of his siblings had heard him when he had slipped out of the tent and followed the great Lion into the cold, dark night. No one had really been concerned when they woke up and found the Lion missing, for he was the Lion. No one gave it a thought that Edmund was quiet, withdrawn, emotionless. After all, he had been through a horrible ordeal, best give him time to recover.
The Lion, he had died that night. Edmund saw the gathering at the stone, the same place Aslan's camp had been only a few hours earlier. He had seen Witch, the wolves, the dwarfs, and other creatures only heaven knew the names of. He had heard the Witch taunt and humiliate the Lion. He had heard the exclamations of triumph. Then, he had seen her take that knife and started to plunge it down. It was at that moment that he ran.
He ran to escape the sounds of cheers as it became known that the Lion was dead. Sounds of horror, of hate. They had killed the Lion, worse yet, the Lion had died in his place. He should have been the one to be there, he had been the traitor. But the Lion had given himself up, for him.
The guilt he felt had no bounds. He had failed. He had failed everything, his family, his King, and his faith. How could he have done that?
Edmund stared out in the distance from the balcony of Cair Paravel. The Great Eastern Ocean. The ocean that had last seen the Lion. Its waves rose majestically before plunging back down. The gulls flew all about, jabbing back and forth the latest gossips of the land.
"Its beautiful, is it not?" Edmund spun around, startled. His oldest sister stood in the moonlight, her royal robe flowing from her shoulders toward the ground. Her hair spilled down her back, framing her face. Her eyes, a deep brown, held unspoken concern. He glanced away, the familiar guilt setting in.
"How was your training session with Peter?" The question was one he hadn't anticipated. He knew that Su hadn't come to talk to him about sword training. She had enough training of her own to worry about. Its not like the four of them had been born into royalty, they had stepped into it. There was a lot to learn about ruling a nation. Sword play was one of them.
"Hard." Edmund didn't elaborate. He didn't need to. All four of them were going through different phases of the same thing. Trying to adjust.
Ed had come to hate that word. Adjust. No one really knew the meaning of the word until they were forced to act upon it. Only a few months ago he had been a normal kid in central England. The Pevensies hadn't been the only kids to be evacuated from London because of the war, but they had expected to be back home as soon as the war was over. He wondered if they would ever get home. Now, he was a king in a land that didn't logically exist, where animals talk and where an evil woman succeeded in haunting you all the time. He shuddered, trying to block the images that came to mind.
Susan noticed and stepped up beside him, letting her hand settle on his shoulder. Her brother was hurting, anyone could see that. Not everyone could see why, however. Ed hadn't been the same, not since they had seen him on the bluff talking with the great Lion. He had been moody, but not the extent that everyone noticed. No, only those who knew him well noticed. Susan had been watching him, as had Peter and Lucy. They didn't quite know what to do. Edmund had never been like this before, its was like life had no appeal to him anymore. The three of them knew that he wasn't sleeping well, the reasons became more apparent as time moved on. At first Peter said it was because of the new surroundings, but that excuse had run dry weeks ago.
Edmund fought the emotions pooling up inside of him. He knew that emotion was a dangerous sign of losing control, he couldn't afford that. He was a king now, he had a land to protect, a land he had once betrayed. But Susan's soft touch undid him and he began to sob quietly. He felt Susan's arms around him, showing him that she was there. Not until his tears were spent, did she step back. The tears were long over due, and the weeping left him raw and vulnerable. He leaned his hands on the railing in effort to gain control. "Its so hard, Su." The whispered words carried across the balcony. He didn't mean to say more, but the words just fell out.
"I betrayed you, Susan. You, Peter, and Lucy. I betrayed all of you. She promise me she would make me a king, and that I would rule over you. She told me that I would rule Narnia and that I would have power. I wanted that. I wanted to be over Peter, I wanted him to answer to me. I was mad because of what he did when he found out that I had lied about Narnia. I wanted to take him down, Su." The tears came back and he sank to the floor and cupped his face in his hands. "When I found out that she was going after you all I felt was fear. Fear for you and the others. When she asked the fox where you were, he refused to tell. She was about to turn him into stone, so I told her about the Stone Table. Then she waved that stupid wand, but before she turned him into stone, he shot me a look of disgust. I felt so ashamed, but I thought I would save his life if I told. I didn't, instead I went farther into putting you into danger." Edmund's voice was soft and broken. He suddenly heard footsteps coming across the balcony toward him and he looked up. Peter was coming toward him. Behind him stood Lucy with tears in her eyes, standing by the doorway. Peter held out his hand and pulled him up and into his arms. Lucy and Susan came and hugged both of their brothers.
The four of them stood there, all hurting because one was hurting.
Peter shut his eyes, his arms still around his brother. He had no idea what Ed had been going through. He wished he could take it all away, he hated it when one of his siblings was this way. He felt he had failed Edmund in some way. He was the oldest, he was suppose to protect his siblings, but since coming to Narnia, Edmund had almost died twice and the girls had had a run in with a wolf. He had failed.
He pulled Edmund away from him and look him straight in the eye. "Ed, you have to stop beating yourself over this. Its not entirely your fault. If I hadn't been pushing you away, then you never would have gone to the witch." He told a deep breath and continued. "The truth is, the past few years, I didn't really know how to treat you. You and I were both growing up and we didn't seem to have the relationship that we once had. I wasn't pushing you away because I didn't love you, but because I didn't know how to show you how much I care. But I-" His voice broke and he swallow in an effect to compose himself. "I didn't mean to do it, Ed. I really didn't."
Ed looked at his siblings, saw the pain in Peter's eyes, the fear in Lucy's, and the hopelessness in Susan's. "Guys, I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." He put up a hand to stop Peter's protest. "Pete, please, listen." He paused to collected his thoughts. "I betrayed you, I hurt you. I put my relationship with all of you in danger, I almost destroyed it. Now we are royalty, we have a land to rule, to take care of. In order for us to do this, we must have nothing between us. The point is that I'm sorry for everything that I did."
Lucy stepped forward and hugged her brother, and whispered in his ear loud enough for Susan and Peter to hear. "I forgive you, Ed."
"As do I." Susan said, then glanced at Peter.
Peter looked at Edmund. "I will forgive you if you forgive me."
Edmund smiled. "Deal."
They smiled, then laughed as the tension broke. The four linked arms and headed into the castle. Everything was taken care of.
Edmund's Struggles
Destiny J. Adams
February 2009
Full Summary: This is a story that explores what would have happened if Edmund had followed Aslan to his death and not the girls. This story goes deep into the relationship between the four Pevensies, but it is not slash or incest.
Disclaimer: I always manage to forget these things, but this time I remembered! I do not own the characters of The Chronicles of Narnia. They belong to C.S. Lewis. I will try to return them in the condition that I borrowed them. This story was not written for the sake of money, but for the sake of fun. So I'm good.
I'm a traitor. The words refused to leave him. They haunted him everyday, every time he would look at one of his siblings, every time he looked at the Lion. The words taunted him in his sleep, hanging over him in the form of a tortuous dream, ready to fling him to the Stone or the Witch's castle at any moment. They taunted him to shame. He didn't belong on the throne, he didn't deserved to be ruling Narnia from Cair Paravel.
Nobody knew where Aslan had gone that night but him. None of his siblings had heard him when he had slipped out of the tent and followed the great Lion into the cold, dark night. No one had really been concerned when they woke up and found the Lion missing, for he was the Lion. No one gave it a thought that Edmund was quiet, withdrawn, emotionless. After all, he had been through a horrible ordeal, best give him time to recover.
The Lion, he had died that night. Edmund saw the gathering at the stone, the same place Aslan's camp had been only a few hours earlier. He had seen Witch, the wolves, the dwarfs, and other creatures only heaven knew the names of. He had heard the Witch taunt and humiliate the Lion. He had heard the exclamations of triumph. Then, he had seen her take that knife and started to plunge it down. It was at that moment that he ran.
He ran to escape the sounds of cheers as it became known that the Lion was dead. Sounds of horror, of hate. They had killed the Lion, worse yet, the Lion had died in his place. He should have been the one to be there, he had been the traitor. But the Lion had given himself up, for him.
The guilt he felt had no bounds. He had failed. He had failed everything, his family, his King, and his faith. How could he have done that?
Edmund stared out in the distance from the balcony of Cair Paravel. The Great Eastern Ocean. The ocean that had last seen the Lion. Its waves rose majestically before plunging back down. The gulls flew all about, jabbing back and forth the latest gossips of the land.
"Its beautiful, is it not?" Edmund spun around, startled. His oldest sister stood in the moonlight, her royal robe flowing from her shoulders toward the ground. Her hair spilled down her back, framing her face. Her eyes, a deep brown, held unspoken concern. He glanced away, the familiar guilt setting in.
"How was your training session with Peter?" The question was one he hadn't anticipated. He knew that Su hadn't come to talk to him about sword training. She had enough training of her own to worry about. Its not like the four of them had been born into royalty, they had stepped into it. There was a lot to learn about ruling a nation. Sword play was one of them.
"Hard." Edmund didn't elaborate. He didn't need to. All four of them were going through different phases of the same thing. Trying to adjust.
Ed had come to hate that word. Adjust. No one really knew the meaning of the word until they were forced to act upon it. Only a few months ago he had been a normal kid in central England. The Pevensies hadn't been the only kids to be evacuated from London because of the war, but they had expected to be back home as soon as the war was over. He wondered if they would ever get home. Now, he was a king in a land that didn't logically exist, where animals talk and where an evil woman succeeded in haunting you all the time. He shuddered, trying to block the images that came to mind.
Susan noticed and stepped up beside him, letting her hand settle on his shoulder. Her brother was hurting, anyone could see that. Not everyone could see why, however. Ed hadn't been the same, not since they had seen him on the bluff talking with the great Lion. He had been moody, but not the extent that everyone noticed. No, only those who knew him well noticed. Susan had been watching him, as had Peter and Lucy. They didn't quite know what to do. Edmund had never been like this before, its was like life had no appeal to him anymore. The three of them knew that he wasn't sleeping well, the reasons became more apparent as time moved on. At first Peter said it was because of the new surroundings, but that excuse had run dry weeks ago.
Edmund fought the emotions pooling up inside of him. He knew that emotion was a dangerous sign of losing control, he couldn't afford that. He was a king now, he had a land to protect, a land he had once betrayed. But Susan's soft touch undid him and he began to sob quietly. He felt Susan's arms around him, showing him that she was there. Not until his tears were spent, did she step back. The tears were long over due, and the weeping left him raw and vulnerable. He leaned his hands on the railing in effort to gain control. "Its so hard, Su." The whispered words carried across the balcony. He didn't mean to say more, but the words just fell out.
"I betrayed you, Susan. You, Peter, and Lucy. I betrayed all of you. She promise me she would make me a king, and that I would rule over you. She told me that I would rule Narnia and that I would have power. I wanted that. I wanted to be over Peter, I wanted him to answer to me. I was mad because of what he did when he found out that I had lied about Narnia. I wanted to take him down, Su." The tears came back and he sank to the floor and cupped his face in his hands. "When I found out that she was going after you all I felt was fear. Fear for you and the others. When she asked the fox where you were, he refused to tell. She was about to turn him into stone, so I told her about the Stone Table. Then she waved that stupid wand, but before she turned him into stone, he shot me a look of disgust. I felt so ashamed, but I thought I would save his life if I told. I didn't, instead I went farther into putting you into danger." Edmund's voice was soft and broken. He suddenly heard footsteps coming across the balcony toward him and he looked up. Peter was coming toward him. Behind him stood Lucy with tears in her eyes, standing by the doorway. Peter held out his hand and pulled him up and into his arms. Lucy and Susan came and hugged both of their brothers.
The four of them stood there, all hurting because one was hurting.
Peter shut his eyes, his arms still around his brother. He had no idea what Ed had been going through. He wished he could take it all away, he hated it when one of his siblings was this way. He felt he had failed Edmund in some way. He was the oldest, he was suppose to protect his siblings, but since coming to Narnia, Edmund had almost died twice and the girls had had a run in with a wolf. He had failed.
He pulled Edmund away from him and look him straight in the eye. "Ed, you have to stop beating yourself over this. Its not entirely your fault. If I hadn't been pushing you away, then you never would have gone to the witch." He told a deep breath and continued. "The truth is, the past few years, I didn't really know how to treat you. You and I were both growing up and we didn't seem to have the relationship that we once had. I wasn't pushing you away because I didn't love you, but because I didn't know how to show you how much I care. But I-" His voice broke and he swallow in an effect to compose himself. "I didn't mean to do it, Ed. I really didn't."
Ed looked at his siblings, saw the pain in Peter's eyes, the fear in Lucy's, and the hopelessness in Susan's. "Guys, I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." He put up a hand to stop Peter's protest. "Pete, please, listen." He paused to collected his thoughts. "I betrayed you, I hurt you. I put my relationship with all of you in danger, I almost destroyed it. Now we are royalty, we have a land to rule, to take care of. In order for us to do this, we must have nothing between us. The point is that I'm sorry for everything that I did."
Lucy stepped forward and hugged her brother, and whispered in his ear loud enough for Susan and Peter to hear. "I forgive you, Ed."
"As do I." Susan said, then glanced at Peter.
Peter looked at Edmund. "I will forgive you if you forgive me."
Edmund smiled. "Deal."
They smiled, then laughed as the tension broke. The four linked arms and headed into the castle. Everything was taken care of.
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