Lousy Opening lines.

How about:

Fuzz balls darted round uncaringly like fuzz does oand felw fuzzily from fuzz home to fuzz home dulling fuzz minds if fuzz has any and fullzacting fuzz from fuzzvill.

And:

If I were any differnt from atimotical beings i would be articuasly confiticulating to manipulate a palnatir exploding atomicly from atomiclay the atmotical biengs last revolving restoling.
 
Mozart the Meerkitten said:
how about:
The rice I stared at was evily evil and my math book sitting next to me on my table was as evill.
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ROFL! Evil table! :p
Lucy but Taller said:
It all started when I yelled at my brother because he popped my soccer ball.
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That's actually not bad. ;)
Miss.SunFlower said:
Everyone wants to break things as a kid. I just wanted to a bit more than others... and I never grew out of it... there's nothing wrong with that though.
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That's actually not bad, too!
Future_Mrs_Jonas said:
My ankle rolled under me, causing me to fall onto the hard ground.
"Stupid, evil, spoiled potato!" I cried. "Go trip someone else!"
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Evil potato! I love opening lines with an evil potato. Or rice.
EveningStar said:
"Of the different remarkable curiosity flowing from the excellencies of the cataract at Edinample, which partly perspicuously to the view of the beholders; its infinitude confined between high wild rocks of asperity aspect, similar to a tract of solitude or savageness; its force emphatically overflowing three divisions; but, in the season of water dropping from the clouds, its force increases so potently, that these divisions, almost undiscovered, at which its incremental exorbitance transcended various object of inquisitiveness, peradventure in manuscript, in such eminantly measure, that its homogeniously could not be recognish at the interim, except existing in emblem to the waves of the ocean in tempestuous season."
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You made that up!

EveningStar: Actually I did not make that up. I have a complete copy.
 
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Actually, Inky, I did not make up the Loch Earn book. It exists. I have a complete copy. It's worse than you can imagine.
 
EveningStar said:
"Ye Gods!" exclamed Prunella as she, examining the morning paper whilst a half-consumed piece of marmelade-saturated toast languished under the jealous gaze of identical twin sister French poodles Fifi and Marcie, resolved to pull all her stock out of Amalgamated Mercantiles with all due haste.
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rofl! That IS too terrible! BAD badger!
 
I'm so not good at writing I can't even think up a lousy opening line!

WAIT! ...maybe that could be it...
 
Chezziwink and Schlomo, those intrepid dandies of the old west, rode off on matching mauve mounts into the crimson (yet suffused with puce) sunset, and even as Schlomo exhuded a sigh of satisfaction at the forceful (yet natty) administration of tidy justice, he noticed that Chezziwink had that "I want to retire and buy a chicken ranch" look in his eyes, and suspected that they were on the verge of a new and more agricultural adveture.
 
EveningStar said:
Chezziwink and Schlomo, those intrepid dandies of the old west, rode off on matching mauve mounts into the crimson (yet suffused with puce) sunset, and even as Schlomo exhuded a sigh of satisfaction at the forceful (yet natty) administration of tidy justice,
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This reminds me the way the Eragon books are written, especially the second one. So annoying!
 
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