Mary Poppins and the Pirates.

Copperfox

Copperfox

Well-known member
"Good morning, little Ahab; did you finish your mathematics homework?"

The twelve-year old handed over a modest sheaf of paper. "Mostly, Miss Poppins, except that I can't straighten out this long division."

"Show it to me........ Now, follow my quill-point. See, this number goes directly below this number."



The cinema has depicted Mary Poppins NOT aging from the Victorian era into the Edwardian era. But only I, Copperfox, have dug out secret records (amid chests of gold which turned out to be fake) which uncovered a much earlier birthdate. Early enough to make her a contemporary of the Pirates of the Caribbean.

In those days, Jamaica still was controlled by Britain; and since Britain had an abolitionist movement long before the United States did, Mary faced no harassment for her anti-slavery stand. Moreover, she exerted influence even on pirates, urging them to assume a privateering role for the Crown, rather than continue as buccaneers against all flags. Captain Rodney Falworth never lived up to the renown of Sir Francis Drake-- but he was a dutiful father to Ahab, his only child. The lad had acquired every conceivable nautical skill; and after his passing, the already-chosen guardian was there to provide onshore knowledge.

Mary Poppins already was known as a good witch. Jamaicans knew enough about her constructive influence that they left unsaid any questions about her protracted youthfulness. But her ward still bore the reputation of a buccaneer father. Accordingly, at Mary's tactful suggestion, Ahab Falworth quietly assumed a nickname appropriate for his talents.

Thus was born AHAB THE ATYPICAL .....who has no connection with Herman Melville's fictional whale hunter.
 
"Ahoy, starboard side watch! Fishing trawlers on your quarter. Current not likely to bring them closer, but have the crow's nest man keep a weather eye on them when he comes aloft to relieve me."

Over a period of eight years, young Ahab Falworth had routinely booked passage for the two of them on civilian ships. Apart from exceptions like the famous Annie Bonney, no pirate crew took orders from a woman; but even without her magical umbrella, Mary was valuable for her non-magical holistic medical skills. Global voyagers had already known about Chinese acupuncturists and Hindu herbalists for centuries. Occasionally, she used the phrase "a spoonful of sugar" as a generalization for her alternative treatments. The wives of the skipper and the first mate, the only other females on board, took comfort from Mary's anecdotes of being a governess. Her aura of omnicompetence had rubbed off on Ahab, and made it more natural even for total strangers to describe him as unusual or peculiar.

Daffyd the cabin boy tugged at Ahab's sleeve. "Are you sure Miss Poppins won't let me fly with her? I don't weigh much."

"Y'see, my good laddie, Mary's a nanny more than a good witch. She'd sooner die than jeopardize a youngster. Besides, there's a passel more to growing up than getting an umbrella's handle to speak. Especially languages, for a far traveler."

Mary supported her protege: "Learning languages doesn't just go spit-spot and you're fluent. Ever since juggling French and Russian, Ahab has grasped just how much a difference in phonetics influences comprehension. In French, oodles of consonants are silent; in Russian, apart from a few specialized characters, every letter makes a sound. Likewise, non-living objects in many languages have arbitrary genders, like a river is a woman or the ocean is a man."

Before the day was over, Mary had Daffyd practicing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
 
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The next time it was summer in the Southern Hemisphere, Mary and Ahab took passage on board a three-masted sailing ship, cruised south along the coasts of Brazil and Argentina, and reached Patagonia. By this time, the ship's captain had been convinced by the umbrella-parrot that Ahab was NOT a typical pirate. Even before leaving Haiti behind, Mary's protege had earned glowing testimonials from shipping lines, confirming that he had worked security for them, spotting shore-based threats. (Even now, in the mid-nineteenth century, too many businessmen remained oblivious to the fact that pirates working from the coast maintained obscure lookout points until fat merchants showed up like flies approaching a spiderweb.)

Accordingly, the skipper agreed to drop anchor temporarily, so Mary and Ahab could go ashore and visit the penguin rookery.

"Mary, I don't mean to imply that you're quite contrary, but are you sure penguins-- yes, I understand that you can speak to them-- will consent to circumnavigate Cape Horn, EVEN IF their hatchlings are mature enough to fend for themselves?"

"No worries, my dear; I wouldn't be much of a nanny if I permitted younglings of ANY species to be abandoned to sharks and sea lions. And of course, the adults who do join us on the way along Chile and Peru won't suffer from heat."

"Won't they? While it's SUMMER down here?"

"Fear not, my good-hearted boy. Remember that seawater drains heat away even in the tropics. Ahoy, Captain! Hoist the sails and the anchor, spit-spot!"



By the time it was summer along the Baja California coast, the escorting penguins took their leave and went. They would pass along their choreography training to following generations of coastal marine fowl.

Complete railway lines across the United States did not yet exist; but stagecoach passengers, and the stable hands at stopover points, enjoyed hearing duets performed by nanny and ward. (Some folks were convinced that the only magical thing about this nanny was her unselfish love.) Since it would be decades yet before coal and wood fires ceased to be the norm, it was obvious that chimney sweeps were natural subjects for songs. Ahab couldn't help wondering whether chimney sweeps ACTUALLY WERE as lucky as lucky could be.

It goes without saying that, when passengers were sleeping, Ahab moved around with catlike tread.
 
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