Rate the Excerpt Above You

That's beautifully written. It looks almost professional,I give it 100,if the scales go up that high,if not,then I give it 10.

Here's mine from DAWN, It's when Caspian turned into a wolf
Unfortunately i wasn't able to write it in good format,but It's not that long.

Over the next couple days,Caspian did begin to become like a wolf. He shed his armor and crawled around in only his trousers. He had no shoes either. His face grew hairy and his eyes were bloodshot. Caspian no longer rode sultan,He ran ahead of the company and sniffed the air. Jacob began to ride sultan,Crystal made sure Caspian didn't hurt himself. If he was about to jump off a cliff,Crystal would hold him back and growl at him. Caspian slept all curled up with percy like they were brothers when they camped at night,and he ate with only his mouth now. He hunted himself too. He killed rabbit and deer with the help of percy. Jacob was still questioning himself wether,HE would go mad also.
By the end of the week,Caspian was practically a wolf. He was dirty and hairy. He crawled on all fours and killed rabbits and deer.His teeth were getting long and sharp like wolves.He howled at the moon at night.His fingernails were now pointed and sharp like claws,for,Caspian would sharpen them on trees. He slept curled up like a dog and ate like one too. Jacob was now thinking of abandoning the mission and returning home to nancy. He would find some pack of wolves and leave caspian there. But his conscience reckoned otherwise. "You know the next stop is purple rabbit land," it said. "Just get there and see if you can find help." so jacob kept the course.
 
hmm, five, it was kind of confusing.

5, odd..........
Click to expand...

Odd how?


A strange grayness seemed to have settled over the town. It’s as if all the color has been sucked out of the world by the stark chill of wind and snow. I had only intended to stroll to the end of the street, but my feet took me down another path, a little dirt road branching off from the main street.

I knew this little path well. How many times had I stumbled up there as a child? It had been years since I’d thought about it. The last time my feet turned down there, they were tiny, stumbling in too-large boots.

It led up a hill to a fence that only comes up to my waist. I remember when I had to climb over it. Now I need only step over the rotten boards into the land of the dead. That is what I called it, I think.

I would go to the place, and wander in and out of the gravestones. I was too young to read them, so I would make up my own names. There was Dmitri, and Ivan, and Katarina….I don’t remember who else. They were my only friends in childhood, and I acted as if they were real playmates. One day I went there, and they were gone. I guess it was because I’d grown too old to believe in imaginary people. I never went back again until today. Perhaps I hoped to find my old friends again.

As I wandered among the stones, some slight movement caught my eye. A little boy sat with his face buried in his knees. Seemingly unaware of my presence, his body was shaking with sobs, as if the world was over.

His sudden appearance made me start. Could this be one of the children who I’d once loved? But they weren’t real; they were something my tired, broken imagination conjured up. Another thought occurred to me, then. What if this boy were myself? How many times had I sat like that, head in my knees, weeping?

The boy raised his head, and my strange worries were put at ease. His face, though dirty from crying, bore no marks or bruises. He gave me a quick glance, and continued weeping as if I were not there.
 
The Spanish Inquisition said:
Odd how?
Click to expand...

just.....odd.
6.

From the Fire Kitten again:

Shady hurried off, then came back a moment later with a good sized rope.
“Dis big enough, Claw?” she asked, presenting it to him.
Claw grinned evilly, “That’s just fine Shady, just fine. Now whose good at castin’ ropes?”

No-one spoke. Then a small cream-colored paw went up.
“I is, mista Claw.” Creamy said softly.
“Then get up here, you ratling!” little Creamy hurried up.

Creamy had always liked to lasso things with ropes and he was excellent at casting fishing lines. Though these two things had gotten him into trouble many times he was glad of his talent now.

He picked up the rope, gave it a good twirl then tied a loop at the end. He narrowed his eyes and scanned the far shore; when he had spotted a good sized rock he started to twirl the rope. That day little Creamy must’ve made history for fastest rope twirling, and best shot too. He tossed out the rope and it fell on top of the rock the very first time he threw it. The kit yanked the rope to make sure it was soundly there, then knotted the other end around a nearby boulder.
To Claw he said;
“Now, mista iffin you don’t mind, may I go first? To test the rope, I mean. Better me than anybody else, I suppose; I’m not even worth much.”
“Alright,” growled Claw, “Get on with it then.”

Cautiously Creamy lowered himself into the water. He did not cry out or open his mouth, instead he did the most sensible thing he could; he grabbed the rope with his front paws and propelled himself along as best he could with his back feet. He inched along the rope at a snail’s pace but all went fine till he got a little past the middle.
He was just making his way across the strongest section of the current when,

SNAP!

Creamy gave a small screech and clung to the rope. The current threw him against the far bank of the river, knocking the breath from him.
Fireheart found herself frozen in place. Her mind went numb as she saw her brother clinging to the rope, unable to move or even cry out. Her sisters felt much the same and none of them could move.
Then they heard a splash. A small orangish colored head bobbed in the water, holding the other end of the rope. It was Jako.

The small orange kitten signaled Creamy with his paw and the two both began to swim towards the center of the river with all their might. It was slow hard work for both kittens to be sure but they were determined and for those few moments they experienced something that Mozart would’ve told them was the strength of the White Cat in them and she knew because it had happened to her when she had fought Cogg.

Shady was amazed by the two boys love for one another. She had never seen one creature try to save another’s life before, in fact they had taught her just the opposite in Claw’s band; there they always said that it was “every creature for themselves” and Shady had even seen creatures leave their said-to-be comrades for dead if they were injured or sick.
Now though the two little kit’s love for each other broke through the thick walls in her mind overcoming some of her hate that was in her heart.

When the two reached the center of the river they tied the ends of the broken rope together. This was terribly hard because their paws were numb and the water kept trying to stop them, throwing itself at them, trying to push them away.

In the end the little boys managed to tie the knot. Then they crossed over together. For a moment they had a chance to escape and they realized it, as did Claw. The big ugly orange cat had known that something was amiss with this whole thing, but he had not understood what until now. He had just left a perfect route for escape for two young, healthy prisoners whom he would need later.
The tomkits knew that they must make a decision. They could run and leave their persecutors, or they could wait for the rest to cross. At first the option of escape seemed like a gift from the White Cat; but as they thought about it they realized that they would also have to leave their sisters if they ran. They could also get lost in the maze of twists and turns the tunnel had. Or if they went straight by some miracle then they would eventually be caught by Claw and punished in the way he saw fit.
Both sides stood motionless for a moment, then Claw gave a low growl and said, “You lazy creatures, get moving and re-bind them! Hurry!” Claw himself went across before any of the others though. Then he re-bound both kit’s paws- Jako had gotten his free by slicing the ropes on Shady’s little sword when she was frozen in place- none to gently and then waited for the rest.
 
Yeah it was. Not my best but the first thing I found when i was sorting through my writings.
I give yours a 7,pretty good but not my style of interest.

Here's another excerpt. It's from the tall adventures of Mr. B(go to my albums for the cover artwork) it's my ben barnes fan fic

It was a Rainy saturday. Not exactly a saturday Mr. B had hoped for. He was supposed to go out that afternoon for some shoot,but it had been canceled because of the rain. Mr. B was sitting around in his house with nothing to do. His agent Joseph was downstairs at the door typing on his lap top as usual. The apartment was filled with rainy blue light and the sound of water sprinkling against the window. Eddie was bouncing around on the furniture and biting his own tail. Mr. B was lying on the red velvet armchair in his nice brown slacks and white dress shirt and red tie. He had kicked his shoes off and his black socks showed. Eddie began to pick at the wax fruit on the table and spat it out,surprised it wasn't food.
 
6, its descriptive.


From Catlition;

Suddenly a large oblong face appeared directly in front of Ribbony's. It was black with a little white spot on it. The two eyes were on either side of it's head and it's ears stuck up like great velvety cat ears, only much, much bigger. Black hair (but not fur Ribbony thought, for it was courser than fur) fell neatly down in-between the thing's ears. It's eyes were brown and very large, as large as Ribbony's paw.
Ribbony shied away from that face, frightened of what he had awakened.

"What scared of me liddle 'un?" it said.
"Oh stop playing with the kit Hercy."
"Well we ain't had visitors for a long time. Bee doesn't even come out much more anymore than to feed us and give us our water on cold days. That pup doesn't know much, an' now look he's taken on a liddle baby kit!"
"Hey wait you thingamabobs, I ain't a baby kit! I'm five months, goin' on six!"
"And I'm near three or four times that furball." retorted the creature, "And I am not a thinga-ma-bob. I am a horse. A very respectable horse."
"Yes that goofball is a horse, named Hercules mind you. I'm P'J." said the other horse, who was identical to the first.
"Well, well I'm Ribbony! An' I'm a warrior!"
"Then they musta moved the standards for warriors down a bit!" laughed Hercules, "Because you my small friend do not look like a warrior, do not smell like a warrior, do not act like a warrior and I bet you do not taste like a warrior either."
"Now Hercy you know that a warrior is not always made of certian smells or looks or even tastes. And how do we know how he acts when we've barely met him? Any youngster who comes in here to see us for the first time and isn't afraid of us I will think utterly foolish." said P'J.
"Oh all right I'm just messin' with the kit a bit. Ha ha ha that rymes!" laughed the horse, this time P'J joined in too.
"So," said Ribbony plucking up his courage, "You live here? In this.... shed?"
"Oh no kit this is just our barn. There's a pasture outside where we go to catch the sunshine. We used to frolic out there when we were colts but now we're content to stand in the sunshine and take an occasional roll." P'J told him.
"Em, whats a colt?" asked Ribbony rather awkwardly.
"Why it's a baby horse silly!" Hercules whinnied in a sort of laugh.
"Oh, em, yes of course." Ribbony said feeling very small.
 
6ish. It was cute.

He sifted a few rocks until he touched something soft. It groaned.

“Mitka?”

“Yes.”

Ivan, as quickly as he could, cleared away the rocks.

“Mitka...I can only find half your body.....where are you legs,
Mitka?”

Ivan knelt beside him, listening to his gasping breath.

“Ivan...find Nastasya.....” Mitka reached out a hand to grab his

shirt, but failed.

“Where is she? Who is she with?”

“I....don't..I..” His voice was cut off by a cry of pain. His face contorted in agony.

“Mitka, Mitka...” Ivan said softly, tears rolling down his cheeks. His pants were now soaked with Mitka's blood.


“So....tired...”

“I'll help you sleep.” Ivan pressed the pistol to his head.

“Goodbye, my friend.”

“God...be with...you.”

Ivan took his hand. Mitka squeezed it tightly. With a sob, Ivan fired the pistol.
 
The Spanish Inquisition said:
Ivan took his hand. Mitka squeezed it tightly. With a sob, Ivan fired the pistol.
Click to expand...


10,but OUCH! The moderators let you WRITE that kind of stuff on here?
Yeow! I bet my more mature stuff might be suitable then.

Heres my excerpt from DAWN. Sorry it's not written properly,but it's short..

It was quiet. Caspian's body was warm and soothing. Tigerlily curled her hands into a ball underneath her chin and tried to get closer to him. His shirt was open and displayed his chest. His rhythmic breathing and steady beating heart was like a sweet gentle lullaby. Tigerlily pulled the sheets up over them and closed her eyes. Listening to the sounds. The gentle hum of the wind outside the window. The crickets soft chirping. The sway of the curtains brushing the floor.The bubbling of the fish in their aquarium. The hooting of the owls outside.
The thumping of the bopper buds.Caspian's calm breathing and heart beat. It was music,Sweet music.
 
10 ^^

Again, from my story Silver Rose.
Haha...I'm terrible at writing...

The prince turned to the sky in search of help and looked down at the girl. He tried again. “If you are so strong to not do as a prince such as me commands, then I shall become like you and not command but instead request. I request, what is your name, fare maiden?”
 
8. Very lovely and elegant.

10,but OUCH! The moderators let you WRITE that kind of stuff on here?
Yeow! I bet my more mature stuff might be suitable then.
Click to expand...

I generally edit myself to make it more forum safe. The rest of this story is posted somewhere on forum, but I think it's sunk beneath many, many threads...



“You’re in the way, Mitka.” Ivan, who was carrying a rock under each arm, tried to nudge him out of his path.

“It’s hardly my fault. I go wherever you do.”

“If you’re going to trip me up, be useful.” Ivan shoved one of the rocks into his hands.

“Place this here. No, to the right.” Ivan placed his rock next to Mitka’s.

“Good work, little fellow. Nobody will knock down this wall.”

“God will keep it strong.”

“There you go again with your God. Do you really think he can get us out of this?” Ivan stopped to wipe sweat from his forehead.

“I do not think it, I know. His mighty hand will hold up our wall.” Ivan snorted.

“I’ll miss you once we separate. Your stupid optimism is amusing.”

“Your despondent lack of faith is disheartening. Do you really believe in nothing?”

“I believe in my own two legs and my own two arms.” Ivan grabbed two hand-holds in the wall, “Step up now, I want a look.”
 
10! ^^



“Stand still dear!”
“No! I will NOT where that…thing!”
“But sweet heart it’s the latest fashion! I got this necklace just for you!”
“NO!”
“NO?!”
“NO!”
“YES!”
“NO!”
“YES AND IM THE KING AND I SAY YES!”
 
lol, 9.:D

Mozart could hear a noise coming from further inside the cave. She set her torch down as she got nearer, for the cave seemed to be illuminated by an unnatural light. She went on with her sword drawn and her ears pricked.
Suddenly she stopped stock-still, for in front of her was the biggest, ugliest, most frightening looking beast she had ever seen in her life. It was ten times scarier than Cogg was she said later. It had a long neck and large golden eyes, it was covered in scales from head to toe and had great terrible claws longer, and much bigger, than Ribbony, it was a reddish brown color. You or I would’ve been able to tell her perfectly well what it was; a dragon, a beast out of nightmares and fairytales. But Mozart had never heard those fairytales and so never heard of a dragon. She had met some who had seen a dragon before, but now I am getting ahead of myself.

The beast had not noticed her and quickly Mozart got behind a rock. There she dared to peer out and watch the creature and this is what she saw;
The dragon yawned and showed its teeth (‘Such horrible, horrible teeth.’ Thought Mozart) then stretched out its great and terrible wings (Mozart had not seen its wings before) almost to the top of the cave.
Then the most interesting thing of all happened; a little creature- tiny and frail compared to the beast near it- but no less majestic than the first emerged. Its scales were a purplish blue color and Mozart thought (correctly) that it must be the baby of the creature. But Mozart saw something else that worried her; the little dragon was injured, how the mother had let it be hurt she did not know, but immediately, even if the beasts killed her afterwards, she wanted to help the little one. But she knew that such a situation must be handled with care so she softly set down her sword and went forward.
At first the dragoness did not notice her, but after several moments became aware of her.
 
EPIC 10! Dwagons rule, yo *puts on sunglasses*



"Look what you have done...You spilled my coffee!"
"I WAS SAVING YOUR LIFE!"
"Well, you could have done it a nicer way! For goodness sake..."
 
8. That made me giggle, Smaug.


"I won't be here long. I'm getting older. How old am I now? At least thirty. Your father won't be interested in me much longer. Already he's looking for another."
She released the handle and bent down to lift the bucket.

"Then I will be free for the taking, though I imagine by then you'll have found someone else." She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her shoulder.

"I will never want anyone else."

"You will. By the time we are together, I will be old and tired and ruined. I'm already tired and ruined. Would you choose a bruised apple when you could have a perfect one?"

"You're not bruised. You're perfect."

Nastasya laughed.

"You are like a child sometimes. Nobody is perfect. Especially not me."

"Please come away with me," said Andrei, "We can live in hiding."

She laughed again, and brushed his hand off her shoulder.

"I'm not living in some little hole in the middle of nowhere, Andrei. Here at least I get a good meal. It's not so bad."

"How can you say that?" said Andrei, obviously hurt, "Are you saying you prefer my father to me?"

She turned around to face him with a slight smile.

"Good answer. I was just testing you, I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person that way. No, of course I want to escape and would give everything to escape (though I've nothing left to give), but to leave now would only end in failure. I could not bear to be parted with you after having you. We must wait."
"But-"

"No more words." Quickly, she leaned forward to kiss him.
 
Smaug said:
10! ^^



“Stand still dear!”
“No! I will NOT where that…thing!”
“But sweet heart it’s the latest fashion! I got this necklace just for you!”
“NO!”
“NO?!”
“NO!”
“YES!”
“NO!”
“YES AND IM THE KING AND I SAY YES!”
Click to expand...

Tee hee!
I know it's not above me,but it's hilarious.(mind if i use it sometime?)
also,tens for everyone who was above me.(including iSmaug)

We happened to fall into another geusts' room by accident and he'd locked the door. Whoever the person was,he'd gone out for the day and locked his hotel room door.Assuming it was a man of course. A sneaky little idea had gotten into Hazel's head that moment. Because she said to me, "Hey let's go through his luggage and see if we know him." The man,assuming he was a man,had left his suitcase in the hotel room on the bed. Hazel unzipped it and me and morgan looked in.
The person living in this room was a man. In the suitcase were men's underwear,men's socks and men's clothing. I noticed something familiar as we sorted the shirts(and folded them,good god this man's clothes were wrinkly.) There was a pair of green nike shoes. "Hey i know these!" i said. "No you don't!" said morgan. "Those could be anyones' green nikes'. you don't know anyone who wears a size 4 do you?" "Size 4!" i exclaimed. "Then i saw something else familiar. An olive green sweater and a gray shirt with black dots. "I know this too!" i said. "We don't know anybody with a green sweater!" said hazel. I laid the shirts aside next to the shoes. I noticed another thing. A black leather jacket. "I know this as well!" i said again. "Oh please." said morgan. "I'm the only girl you know with a leather jacket,this couldn't be familiar." I laid the jacket aside as well. Finally i came to a white T-shirt. I unfolded it to see two purple bunny rabbits staring at me. "I deffinately KNOW this shirt." i said. "I know who's luggage we're sorting through!" "What kind of man would were a purple rabbit shirt?" asked hazel. "You don't know who's luggage you're sorting through!" "It's BEN BARNES' LUGGAGE WE'RE SORTING THROUGH!" I shouted.
 
Last edited:
7, LOL! Nosey girls!

Hope saw them; they’re little beady eyes watching her and waiting for her. She shuddered.
Then suddenly Hope heard a scream from behind her; she whipped around to see Shady had fallen into a pit and was floundering. The creatures of the swamp moved in.

Claw did not seem concerned at Shady's plight. However he did seem concerned about the swamp-creatures and therefore took some action.
"Get those monsters you lazy lumps! Git movin' yew wimps!" he grabbed a whip and cracked it at the terrified army (if it could be called that). Caught between the rage of their ruthless leader and the terrors of the swamp they did the only sensible thing; they ran. The group did not heed the swamp-pits or anything in their path but ran like was unnatural for most beasts even in great fright.
"Get back here you scum!" growled Claw running after them.

Since the slaves had been taken with the rabble Hope, Shady and the swamp-creatures were the only ones left. Shady was sinking further into the swamp and wimpering and the crocodiles and aligators were trying to surround her (some had followed Claw's group) and kept snapping at her with their terrible teeth which were as deadly as Claw's claws.

Hope gave a whoop and called, "I'm cummin Shady, hang on!" she looked around her and saw a nice sized stick. She ran and picked it up then hurried to Shady's aid.

"Get 'way from her yew stinkin' I dunno whats!" cried Hope as she whacked one on the head with her stick. It turned around and snapped at her but she leapt on it's head, forcing it to close it's mouth.
She would have to watch for the creature's tails for it one hit her (or Shady) it could kill them.
'Wait thats it! Bravey said once that he heard the elders tellin' a story about a cat who tangled up a mass of snakes by running around in 'em and confusin' 'em!' so the little she-cat gathered all her courage and popped down in front of the crocodile she had been on.

"Hey lookit me you slimy lizard! Ya yew! Catch me iffin ya can!" then she took off running into the mass of creatures. They tried to follow her and most ended up on top of each other, still biting at Hope as she dashed past them.

Eventually all the deadly swamp crocs and gators were tied up (as Ribbony would say) and reandered harmless by Hope. She went over to where Shady was desperatly floundering.
"Here grab my stick!" Hope said, Shady latched on and clung to the stick like a leech till Hope had her out.
When Hope had pulled Shady out she surveyed her surroundings. She could tell by the trampled saw grass where the group had gone so it would be no problem finding them, 'Not like I wanna stay here and Claw 's the only one who knows the way out.' she thought.
But her train of thought was rudely broken by a scream, Shady's scream. Hope whipped around just in time for a large claw to come down on her face, scratching her eye. She stuck out at the thing with her stick and felt it hit something. Then she heard a screach and opened her un-hurt eye to see what it was.
 
8. Exciting.

Drew Eamon Sutherland saw the flickering of the candle against the tunnel wall and knew that the priest was coming, even before he heard the man's steps. These tunnels beneath the old mission church in Guatemala seemed to muffle all loud noises anyway.

"Mi hijo," the priest said gently, rounding the corner and stepping into the small alcove where Drew slumped beside his knapsack. "I've brought food." He held out a small basket that contained a tortilla and beans.

Drew Eamon only moved to accept the food. "Gracias," he said quietly, but made no attempt to eat.

"You need to get something down you," the priest urged. "Tu padre would not want you to starve yourself. It's now that you need to be strong."

The word padre seemed to drive nails into Drew's stomach. How could his father's enemies have reached their goal now? After twelve years of hunting? If only he hadn't gone to the cops. One of them leaked where we were. On purpose or not, I don't guess I'll ever know.

"Padre Jeremias--I--I'll eat it later."

The father's keen brown eyes bore into him. "Do you think lying is a way to honor his memory, Edmundo?"

Edmundo. The Spanish translation of his middle name. How many times had his father called him that as they wandered the roads of Sudamérica? Drew stared at the stone-lined wall. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. His father was dead and, despite the temporary shelter given him by Padre Jeremias, Drew would soon meet the same end.
 
8. The use of Spanish is a bit confusing, but it's well written.

It was difficult to hitch up his horse in the dark, standing on one leg. The horse, unable to see him in the dark, was very unhappy about the affair. It whinnied loudly and stamped it's hooves, nearly crushing Ivan's feet.

"Shut up," he hissed at it, "I'm trying to escape here."

At last, the horse was attached to the coach, and Ivan climbed up onto the coach seat.

"Get in, Nastasya."

She stopped, as if she were having second thoughts.


"D***, Nastasya, I've just fallen off a d*** roof so you can escape. Get in the g*****m coach or I'll run you over!"

"Well, excuse me for stopping to think about my actions. I'll follow you blindly from now on," she snapped, grabbing onto a handhold, and pulling herself into the coach.

"Move," he hissed at his horse, kicking it's rump with his good leg. The horse and the carriage took off from the barn and pulled onto the main road to Petersburg.
 
Mozart the Meerkitten said:
7, LOL! Nosey girls!
Click to expand...

That's me and my cousin and sister I wrote about. and that "bunny" shirt exists. I'm working on busting him fully but I've got evidence.

also for the spanish inquisition. 10,your use of swearing was well written. I've read a book where every other word s*** and f*** and it was a little rough.
I didn't like that book. yours is flowing.

Here's some more from that one story. I happen to be the one telling the story by the way....(sorry for the bad writing)

At about 9:59 Ben came back. I had never seen him in person. Just on youtube and certain movies.(not many,he wouldn't act in anything appropriate.) He looked as if he'd gone to some little cafe for breakfast instead of paying for room service. He had his hair long this time,and his brown eyes were staring curiously at us. "Who are you little girls?" he asked. I had never heard him speak in person either,i almost melted. "Why are you in my room?" Hazel and morgan were too scared to speak. I was too,but for some reason i could speak better because i felt like i knew him. "Oh sorry to surprise you mr. Barnes." i said politely. "But we were exploring the air vents when we accidentally fell into yours." "Why were you climbing around in the air vents?" asked ben. He closed the door. "We were bored." i said. "When we're bored,we do pointless things." "Well you best be going back to your OWN room." said Ben. He each one of us by the shoulders and led us down the hall to our room, 131111. When he'd said good-bye and shut our door,i realized something. I'D LEFT CRYSTAL IN HIS ROOM!
 
:eek: YOU LEFT CRYSTAL THE CAT WITH BEN BARNES?!?
lol....... 7


Snow Valley was a hostile place. No one lived there and often those who went in did not come back out again. It was always snowing there, even in summer. There was only one day a year that it never snowed and oddly it was the same day as Ribbony and his three sibling’s birthday.
The temperatures in that valley often got down past zero and it had once reached below fifty. Most of the time though the temperatures hovered between a high of about fifteen and a low of about minus fifteen, rarely it got up into the twenty’s.
Most valleys one would think would be more sheltered than open areas and that is true for most places… but not Snow Valley. The wind blows down from the mountains into it, covering it with an eternal layer of snow. Frozen ponds and lakes are treacherous and if you linger in that valley for more than several hours you begin to freeze. Your very blood can freeze there. I will not tell you much more of it or else grown-ups may not let you read this. Yet there is some good news; Ribbony, Dora, Explorer, Creamy and Claw had all made it out of that valley alive.
 
Hmmm, about a 5ish. Were you trying to copy CS Lewis' style of writing?


And again, I pick up my pen. For fifteen years, I've been silent. The words from my mouth are just noise. The words from my pen are words from my heart and soul and mind. They're the ones that count.

I am not myself. I saw myself in a mirror yesterday for the first time in fifteen years. I hold myself with a different air. I am not so scrawny now, but my face had remained scarred, and my foot has not healed. It will never heal.

I arrived at my little village today at noon. It was strange to walk down the streets of my childhood as a man. I can only imagine how they whispered about Fyodor Nikolayevich, the drunkard's son, the convict coming home from Siberia.
 
Back
Top