Have a villain who introduces land-line telephones to the Narnian world, for the sinister purpose of exposing people to telemarketers.
And then in the Dark Island in VoDT, where it appears that no one can reach them all of a sudden the phone rings and Caspian an picks up only to hear one of these familiar, blood chilling messages, all in a row, each one answered by a different character.
Caspian:
"We are trying to reach you about the extended warranty on your vehicle."
*hangs up *
Edmund:
"This is Rachel from Card Member Services."
*hangs up*
Lucy:
"Hello? Hello? Oh sorry I can't hear you I didn't have my headset on..."
*hangs up*
Reepicheep:
"Do you have a rodent problem? Try Happy trails Exterminators!"
Reep: " I challenge you to send any one of your exterminators my way. They shall taste cold steel!"
*hangs up*
Eustace:
"Can you take a few minutes to tell us who you plan to vote for in the next Presidential election?"
"I could, but I'm afraid there are two problems. See first, I'm a British Citizen and second, I believe I'm under age. I feel that I cannot legally vote for any one in your elections."
"Oh, that's fine. We'll just register you to vote in Chicago. We do it all the time .We've even had dead people cast ballots .Sometimes twice. Now who are you voting for?"
"Hmmm, lets see...Me. I'll write in me."
"But didn't you just say you were British and under age?"
"Why yes."
"Then how can you vote for yourself?"
"Simple. If we're going to be breaking the rules anyway, I may as well throw my hat in the ring. Besides, it's clear by this call that your country is in sore need of someone with brains to lead it."
"We've had people with brains..."
"Who? Your Mr. Washington, your Mr. Adams, your Mr. Jefferson, your Mr .Quincy Adams or your Mr. Lincoln? All fine chaps I suppose, but they are all dead."
"We've had more...."
"True, Mr. Teddy Roosevelt does seem like a character from your cinema, and I'll admit your FDR did a bang up job durring the war, and Ike was quite the general. "
"Just please. Answer my question. I'll give you a list of candidates and you tell me which one you'll likely vote for..."
"We've been through this before. Me."
"Please, sir, take this seriously. This is the Most Important Election of Our Time (TM)."
"Wasn't the last one?"
"Why, yes."
"And the one before that?"
"True."
'And the one before that?"
"Sure."
"Then tell me, if this election is The Most Important Election of Our Time (TM), then how could those early four also be The Most Important Election of Our Time (TM)."
"Well...they all are! That's the essence of democracy."
"No, the essence of democracy is that people have an equal voice in their representational government, not unnecessary sensationalism for what amounts to a popularity contest amongst two people making outlandish promises and fulfilling none of them in return. Now kindly jog off!"
*Slams the phone down, yanks it off the wall and tosses it in the water.*
At that moment the Dark Island vanishes.
Edmund: By Jove, Eustace! You've done it!
"
