Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

[Copperfox]

Punksteema's unnaturally low-flying moon eclipsed the sun at the moment Ronald and John finished their business at the telegraph office. Various candles, torches and lamps were kindled with perfect timing all over town. Even before having scientific knowledge about their moon, the various peoples of Punksteema had never felt any superstitious dread of the eclipses. Those were too regular and routine to seem like a catastrophe.

D'Vargut Pril, husband of Shenzil and father of their six children, was a fabric merchant. Hukshem produced high-quality textiles from goat hair and flax; these things, plus medicines and medical expertise, were the whole basis of the nation's trade with other countries. Both areas of industry had long-established guilds; D'Vargut was one of nine top men in the Clothiers' Guild.

The custom of bread and salt existed on this and many human worlds. Unconcerned with the current eclipse, D'Vargut personally knelt like a servant, offering up the tray. Both visitors were familiar with the ritual; eating pieces of bread which they dipped in the salt, they then took the tray, handed it to the lady of the house, and raised their host to his feet. Now the children of the household could advance and be introduced. The firstborn was an average-looking seventeen-year-old maiden, called Razibi. It was made clear at once that she was betrothed, to the second son of one of Mister Pril's guild colleagues. Ronald was glad that he was not going to become a target for matchmaking here; besides being old enough to be the girl's father (if he had been young when siring her), he just could not let himself think about love and family when his mission was barely started.

But over supper-- at which T'Pinnok Zur, the twenty-year-old future bridegroom, was in attendance-- it came to light that both Razibi and her fiance were interested in him for a different reason. Razibi opened the conversation, in commerce-language for the Towerman's benefit.

"Sir Knight, my betrothed possesses the gift of long-seeing dreams. The reason why Mother first began seeing him as a prospect for me was because, two and a half years ago, T'Pinnok dreamed that a terrible storm would occur in tandem with the usual increase of winds which the moon causes. With its magnified force, this hurricane would shatter and sink every ship crossing the Gulf of Kobason at moon-passage time on the forty-first day of autumn." The Gulf of Kobason, whose northwestern shore was less than sixty miles east of Hukshem's eastern border, was the largest ocean inlet in all the circumference of Arcondoyla the northern continent. It was wide enough, and extended far enough inland, that given safe weather, it was more efficient for merchant ships, be they sail or steam, to cross directly rather than hug the coast.

"Father, and all of his guild friends, decided to heed the warning dream; they even telegraphed business acquaintances about it, asking them to spread the alert in turn. Everyone who heeded the warning was glad he did! On the day which T'Pinnok's dream specified, every ship of any size which was out on Kobason, and wasn't close enough to land to run for an anchorage in time, was lost with all hands."

John leaned toward Ronald. "I already knew about the young man's visions. They're genuine."

The gunslinger nodded, then looked at Razibi's husband-to-be. "I also know that such visions are given to a few. Did you happen to foresee Captain Telbroc and me coming to Hukshem?"

"Not with your name, Ronald of Goliad," the young businessman replied, "but yes, only two days before we first received rumors of your actions in Malgriff Thanedom. I beheld your unknown face beside the well-known Captain Telbroc, and sure enough, I saw you riding a mule. In the dream, you were carrying an extra pistol, and I knew that you were going to give it to Razibi."

John and Roland looked at each other. Then the master of the household spoke:

"Obviously, I know that my future son-in-law's dreams are truthful; I believed the one about you as soon as T'Pinnok told it. You see, Razibi has always loved stories about the adventures of the Smoke Maidens. One of the reasons why I approved of T'Pinnok as a spouse for my daughter was that he didn't feel offended or threatened by her wish to learn gunslinging."

T'Pinnok offered a bit of background. "Long before I was born, a Smoke Maiden saved the life of my maternal grandfather."

"My extra gun in your dream was only symbolic," Ronald told the young man. "But the very reason I'm on this continent is the hope of reviving both Towermen and Smoke Maidens."

 

[Copperfox]

Back on the Earth called "Urth"....

The super-villain Sullivan Grungy, who looked sort of like Frankenstein's Monster, was always annoyed when fellow crooks remarked that he looked simply "like FRANKENSTEIN." He would snarl the correction: "Frankenstein in Mary Shelley's novel was the scientist! What I look like is Frankenstein's MONSTER." But he never physically injured anyone just for making this mistake, because this is a family-friendly story.

When Twerpseid had attacked Urth, Sullivan and his two closest associates had benefited by advance notice. These two had it in common with Sullivan that they were in some degree magical, albeit highly specialized. One fellow villain was Mirror Merchant, whose compact magical mirrors defended him against energy attacks, and could suddenly teleport someone to somewhere else. The other, Doctor Noseypickus, possessed clairvoyance and precognition; he was far from all-knowing, but he was quite useful as a complementary ally to a brute-force villain like Sullivan Grungy. Doctor Noseypickus and Mirror Merchant were not above carrying guns to supplement their sorcerous talents. Noseypickus had foreseen both the fact of Twerpseid's impending invasion, and where the Pukedemon army would NOT strike.

Sullivan and his two friends had never shared any bonds of affection with Stellar Sapphire, Atomic Scalp, Aluminum Banshee, or indeed anyone in the Gang of Naughty Persons. So, when Noseypickus' prediction suggested a course of action, Sullivan had been first to urge that they bolt for cover, then offer their services to Twerpseid when he triumphed. Not caring what happened to the other villains, the three scoundrels had gone to ground in Cambodia two days before Twerpseid invaded.

The Cambodian people of this Earth-variant had never suffered the atrocities borne by their counterparts on Original Earth in the Seventies. The Indochinese War had played out before the flourishing of superheroes on Urth, but two early superheroes HAD existed then: the eye-beam-shooting mutant Spectaclops, and the Cambodian-born, super-fast macho-man Moonlight Snake. They had thwarted the Communist conquest, afterwards doing everything their super-powers could do to aid in reconstruction. The nations of Southeast Asia had prospered afterwards-- yet had not risen to great heights of technological development. This very fact had caused Greensodd, when reconnoitering Urth for his liege-lord, to recommend that Planet Awkwardlisp ignore Southeast Asia until better-defended lands were subjugated. Consequently, the three gang deserters were untouched by Twerpseid's failed bid for conquest.

But Noseypickus, being an uncommonly glib talker in many languages, had convinced important authority figures (in off-the-record meetings) that he and his two friends had MADE the Pukedemons keep away from Southeast Asia. So the Cambodian government had looked the other way as the Western villain-trio settled into the most secluded hideout available.

It had been on a scouting foray into Vietnam that Sullivan had been captured by Superhottie, as has been mentioned previously. His prompt escape had been Mirror Merchant's long-distance doing.

After this close call, when the coast seemed clear again, Sullivan Grungy, Doctor Noseypickus and Mirror Merchant were joined by four Asian super-villains, all of whom in their diverse ways had the means of hiding from superheroes, if only by appearing normal:

--- A Chinese super-villainess whose character name in Chinese translated into English as "Hand-Eye Coordination." This was a pun of sorts. Each of her hands had an eye in its palm. These extra eyes could shoot lightning; and when not being used as weapons, they could see through solid barriers, around corners, and straight behind.

--- Another super-villainess, from Burma, more genuinely magical than Hand-Eye, called Red Hot Lamia; she had hypnotic powers, was astonishingly beautiful in her human form, and could change into a gigantic python.

--- Emir Efreet, born in Babylon, who had three main powers. His laugh could fill people with fear (being magic, this would have some effect even on Tonkrypians. He could impart flame power to any weapon he used, even bullets from a gun (again, some effect on Tonkrypians). Being an incarnated fire-spirit, he was invulnerable to being burned; and he could change into smoke. When thus changed, his clothing and gear changed with him; and he could do the same for any two henchmen. While in smoke form, he and his henchmen could not be killed, but neither could they harm anyone else.

--- The only one of the four with whom Sullivan felt close kinship: a giant stone gargoyle called Weebeejamin , who could travel through the earth if he could find a deep mineshaft or a volcanic crater. He didn't need to breathe, so could move about underwater though he could not float. He could also morph into a featureless mass of rock, such that even Superdude could not recognize him for what he was if he was in a place where a huge rock might reasonably be found.

All seven evildoers had kept it a secret from the Cambodian government that they were all together now, since the four Asian villains had not managed to make themselves look good. They had all waited out the Awkwardlispian invasion, and were now hoping to hear news of gang members who had neither been arrested, nor crossed over to the good side. If they received no positive news, they would consider themselves to BE the Gang of Naughty Persons for the foreseeable future. Sullivan had argued that in such an event, Noseypickus as the smartest should be their leader. No one disputed this.

 

[Copperfox]

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch" used to be a common phrase on Original Earth. It had fallen into disuse on Original Earth before the 21st century began; but some people on Urth used it currently, specifically due to the widely-known success of Restoration Ranch at healing both horses and people. Taffy, and Greg's other employees, were well aware that Greg was receiving myriads of letters and social-media friend requests from admiring women. Knowing all about Ruby Spruce's poignant attempt to get Greg back, the computer-savvy Taffy began covertly snooping in her boss's accounts. Everyone was interested, but Taffy was prepared to take sole blame if the boss discovered her spying. Not that Greg was likely to fire an employee who he would understand was chiefly motivated by concern for his welfare.

What Taffy, and therefore the other workers, discovered, was that Greg was courteous toward all of his groupies, but NEVER showed signs of wanting to date any of them. This was partly because many of the admiring girls were younger than Greg by more than seventeen years: a greater age difference than he felt comfortable with. But he also put off women who were closer to his age. It being known by now that Ruby had submitted to a truth-test by Charles Crazier, the whole staff shared in hopefulness on Ruby's behalf.

The day of reckoning came. Sir Jasper, Stella Sapphire and Martin "Atomic Scalp" Alpert were at Restoration Ranch to offer Greg moral support. They stood in front of the main ranch house, while staff and patients alike peered out of the windows, or looked on from the corral. A van pulled up outside the gate, driven by a retired soldier, a man who worked for the Justified League now. Out stepped Ruby Spruce and Aluminum Banshee. They walked toward the reception committee with arms around each other's waists; Lumina continued her soothing hum for Ruby's benefit. Only when coming within six paces of Greg Sutter did Lumina halt, let go of her friend, and retreat a short distance.

"Howdy, Ruby," said Greg in a neutral tone.

Ruby stood still. "It's been a week, like you said. Can you stand the sight of me now?"

"More so than when you showed up out of the blue. An' the part about standin' the sight of you was about grief, not revenge."

Ruby fought to control her tears, dreading that the man she had abandoned would assume the tears to be a cynical bit of manipulation. But Greg startled her an instant later, by drawling: "If'n it helps, gal, I know you ain't usin' tears on purpose as a cynical bit of manipulation. And yuh never broke no actual promise to me, so I never did hate you an' still don't."

She gulped hard. "But, but.... Greg, is there any chance you could ever LOVE me again?"

"Listen real close now, Ruby. Had'ta wait this initial week to get my head clear enough to talk this much. Almost got me back to drinkin' Jack Donaldson's, but I couldn't let the youngsters an' my wranglers an' Jasper an' Stella an' Scalpie down so terribly.

"I won't say no to you, but I have to say WAIT a mite longer. I haven't been tendin' to abused and sufferin' youngsters all this time without learnin' that emotions are tricky. Person can feel one way for true an' real one day, but then feel a different way, also true an' real, the next day." He glanced at Lumina with a smile. "You got you a good friend in the Banshee there; ever since she turned good, she's been a fine lady. And Lumina, I wish you only success with Dmitri."

Some of the people witnessing this encounter (Sir Jasper included) had guessed for a little while that sharing the love of singing might bring Greg and Lumina together; but none of them had spoken of it, and now they never would. Greg took one stride closer to Ruby. "Dmitri knows that Lumina's put evil behind her for good and all; and same token, Ruby, I accept that all yer college-age foolishness is gone. Worst case, I got not a thing against you. Just need my own chance to reckon do I actually still want to be hitched with you."

Ruby was visibly struggling not to rush in and cling to Greg; doing this WOULD be seen as an attempt to manipulate him. She gulped again. "What can I do to help you reach the answer I want you to reach?"

"It ain't hard, gal. Just give me one month longer, during which YOU can be makin' sure of your feelings."

Before the ex-girlfriend could speak again, Sir Jasper interjected: "Maid Ruby, if thou hast any doubt of my comrade's honest intent, I can tell thee that he concealeth nothing from thee here. He hath invariably brushed aside the efforts of a myriad young women to rouse his interest.
He seeketh not shallow excitement, but rather desireth such love as may bear a husband and a wife onward across all the troubles of life's journey. No other lady standeth in his mind as any rival to thee."

"As for that," said Greg, looking straight at Ruby, "if we do get hitched, I won't accept bein' told that I can't EVER mention the two sweethearts I lost to death before I met you. I'd be reasonable about it: like, maybe agree that I'll speak about Nancy an' Brenda in your hearing only four times a year. And you'd have the same right to mention anyone you cared about before." He half-smiled. "Even Superdude. That's part of what you'll be thinkin' about in our waitin' period."

Stella walked up now, to hug and kiss Ruby. "Greg is being open-hearted for you, however his words may sound. Behind all his cowboy dialect, he's a thinking man; but a thinking man can also be a loving man. I believe he wants to believe everything you say, and wants to take you back, but he needs to be satisfied that it's the right thing for both of you."

Hugging Stella in return, then giving a quick extra hug to Lumina also, Ruby stepped a little closer to the man she hated herself for abandoning. "Greg, if you give me a second chance, I swear I'll MAKE it be right for both of us. I'll make up for all the years I robbed you of, with more love than you ever imagined getting. And yes, we'll negotiate like adults about subjects like mentioning past loves. I'll wait as you ask, and a month from now you'll find me loving you even more than I do now."

Greg suddenly repeated a gesture he had often made back when they were dating: taking off his big Stetson hat, he tossed it like a frisbee, and it landed perfectly on Ruby's head. "I got spare hats, but that one's muh favorite. Bring it back in a month, and we'll talk further. You can message me in the meantime; and if I don't reply right away, it won't mean I'm rejectin' you, it'll just mean I'm extra busy with the youngsters an' the livestock, an' keepin' the bikes in repair. Word of honor on that."

"Your word is gold," Ruby quavered, the hat still atop her lovely red hair. Then she retreated into Lumina's embrace.

Greg would spend the following month being told by everyone he knew that marrying Ruby WAS the right choice. Ruby would spend the following month being told by everyone she knew (other than Greg himself) that Greg was certain to decide in her favor. And Copperfox, writing this story, kept in mind the fact that he loves happy endings.

 

[Copperfox]

Ruby and Lumina had been gone barely two minutes before Enrique Santana, one of the teenage clients who (like the autistkic youth Matthew Carver) had "moved up" into performing some of the same functions as the paid staff (which, as Greg planned, would look very good on the boy's future job resume as an internship), burst out of the ranch house in excitement. "Jefe Grigorio! There's a call on your encrypted radio set!" (Of course Enrique had no clearance to TALK on that radio beyond acknowledging a call, but he could pass the word that there was a call.

The call was from no less than Superdude's cousin Superhottie. The Justified Hall had received a distress call from the Tachyon Loop workers whom Scalpie had befriended in the mountains of Nepal. Members of a typical terrorist group, called the Typical Terrorist Group, had planted two of their men in the project site's security force, and these two had suddenly murdered three of the real guards, allowing more terrorists to enter the installation. The surviving real guards, with the most valuable researchers (thus the most likely persons to be kidnaped), were holed up inside the most fortified building on the site, calling for aid on every possible channel; but the Nepalese army could not at once help them, because other terrorists were attacking army bases in coordination with the research-site attack.

Superhottie had resigned herself to having lost Sullivan Grungy's trail for the time being. Answering the Nepalese distress call, she rocketed to Restoration Ranch to pick up Martin a.k.a. Scalpie, because the ex-villain was familiar with the Nepalese project site, and because he was durable enough to withstand the air impact from the speed Clara Klint would be using. As they went, a radio earbud gave the Tonkrypian beauty further information.

One Hawaiian superhero, a part-time Justified League member called Howie Maui, not a Splatlantean but a friend of Moistureman, had been visiting the research installation when the attack began. Using his power to surf on the air (he could also breathe water, but this power was irrelevant in the Himalaya Mountains), Howie Maui had dive-bombed and knocked out nine of the attackers, before being brought down with more than thirty bullet holes in him. A medic from the security force had tried to come to Howie's aid, and had been killed before he got ten meters.

Flying over the North Pole, then down across the Russian Commonwealth, Superhottie and Atomic Scalp descended upon the beleaguered Nepalese research compound a hair over twenty minutes after they had lifted off from Greg's ranch. They were within four seconds of an easy landing----

When the air, and everything around them, turned crimson. And Superhottie FELL the last few meters to the ground, Scalpie inadvertently cushioning her undignified fall.

The Typical Terrorists had come prepared, with red-sun simulation spotlights. The planet Tonkryp had orbited a red star, and light in a frequency range duplicating that star would stifle a Tonkrypian's powers, leaving him or her only as powerful as a very strong and very healthy human. This worked best in an enclosed setting; here, the light of Urth's own sun was not nullified. So Superhottie was not completely deprived of power; for the moment, she was about as strong as a dozen athletic Urthwomen, as fast as a cobra, and able to shoot enough energy from her eyes to give someone a painful surface burn.

She spotted Howie Maui, and enough remained of her super-hearing to determine that his heart still was beating. Not so for the brave medic. Fifteen or twenty steel-jacketed bullets hit her, and did penetrate far enough to draw a disturbing amount of blood. The very fact of these wounds reminded her that Tonkrypian blood had the power to heal all but the worst trauma wounds in humans. She and her super-cousin periodically donated small samples of their blood to hospital emergency rooms and fire department paramedic teams, for this very purpose. A few drops of Superhottie's blood sufficed to ensure that Howie would not die, provided he didn't get shot again. She located two more wounded people, female researchers as it happened, who were also alive enough to be saved by her blood. While attending to this, she was hit by a rocket-propelled antitank grenade; this was potent enough, in the present circumstances, to injure her seriously.

But ironically, the same temporary vulnerability which had made her vulnerable to the grenade, would now make it possible for human aid to avail her.

A doctor with an emergency surgical kit ran to Superhottie's side. He knew enough about the Tonkrypians to guess correctly what the red light had done; and he could speak English. Hastily glancing toward Atomic Scalp-- who was now capturing the rest of the terrorists inside a wall of flame-- he shouted, "Leave the spotlights on! Don't break them!" Scalpie looked his way, and the doctor added, "If her skin turns hard again right now, it'll harden WITH her wounds open and the bullets inside them. I won't be able to suture, and she'll bleed to death EVEN WITH her strength regained!" He was probing for the bullets and grenade fragments even as he shouted.

Fortunately, Scalpie understood the doctor-- seven or eight seconds before he would have destroyed the red-sun simulators. Instead, he dragged them closer, to make sure Clara's skin remained penetrable until the doctor's battlefield surgery was completed. Clara regained full consciousness when the man was done, and told him, "Thank you, Doctor. In another minute, it should be all right to turn off the red spotlights, and my Tonkrypian strength will be able to continue recovery from there. I should be flying again by late tomorrow. Is Howie Maui all right?"

"I'm all right," Howie replied on his own. "But I really miss Waikiki Beach right now."

Atomic Scalp had commanded his prisoners to toss all their weapons outside of their flaming enclosure-- narrowing the fire barrier around them to confirm that he was serious. Their obedience proved that at least one of them knew English. He kept on watching his prisoners until several surviving guards mustered around him and took over.

This was no moment for light-hearted reunions; but Scalpie had the satisfaction of realizing that his Nepalese friends were especially glad to see HIM coming to their assistance. Several of them even remembered to address him as Martin or Mister Alpert. He made it known that he would stay here for at least a week.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Between honoring their dead, interrogating the captured attackers, and taking stock of damage to the installation, the good guys overlooked something important. They had never had time to count the number of red-sunlight emitters, so they didn't think to ask the prisoners about this, and the prisoners had no incentive to volunteer the information.

During the chaotic minutes of battle when Superhottie and Atomic Scalp had entered the fray, a third party had slipped in.

Two days before all this, at their hideout in Cambodia, Doctor Noseypickus had revealed his latest precognition to his fellow villains, foreseeing the action by the Typical Terrorist Group. Most importantly, foreseeing the terrorists' use of red-spectrum spotlights. "If we could get possession of one of those-- especially if the League DIDN'T KNOW that we had captured it --this would be a game changer against the Tonkrypians. Even partially weakening them could give us an even chance of beating them!"

Thrilled by this prospect, Emir Efreet had remarked, "My magic, and Red Hot Lamia's magic, are capable of damaging the Tonkrypians, but only if we can get in reach, and they can evade us if they need to. If we could so much as render them flightless, it would be a different story!"

So Mirror Merchant had prepped his largest and most effective magic mirror. At the time of the attack on the Nepalese Tachyon Loop facility, Mirror Merchant sent Emir Efreet to the scene of action. Efreet had waited in smoke form; then, when he saw his opportunity, he solidified where he could grab hold of one of the red-sunlight emitters, going unnoticed. Once he had hold of the weapon, Mirror Merchant could bring him and it back to headquarters in one spell. The mirror used had broken apart after Efreet returned with his prize; but all seven villains had concurred that it was a satisfactory trade. Merchant could build another magic mirror once he obtained more glass; and even if a security camera had picked up something of Efreet's intervention, good guys wouldn't know where to start searching, since they couldn't be sure that Sullivan and Efreet had even been anywhere near each other..

Things were looking more hopeful for the Eastern Hemisphere branch of the Gang of Naughty Persons.

 

[Copperfox]

Commence more scene-changes

On the anti-Communist Earth where anime characters were real, Dim Jargon the Banjolorian soon met someone who could help him with his armor problem: Combatalot, the armored warrior from the Philippine Republic. They exchanged real names; Combatalot's real name was Sabado Magsaysay (last two syllables pronounced "SIGH-SIGH"). Sabado, who had never been in outer space, was eager to hear about Dim's adventures both within and outside the Republic of Lots of Worlds.

On top of the Spacer Swimmers endorsing the Banjolorian, the blind maiden Ying Tien-Hai pronounced him to be a good man. Her father, the Eagle Kung-Fu master Ying Cheng-Lee, explained to Dim: "Because Tien-Hai has been blind since the age of six, she has had plenty of time to refine
the use of her other senses, especially hearing. Not only can hearing almost fully take the place of seeing for her, but she can sense moral character in the voice of anyone who speaks more than a handful of words. For this reason, I accept her judgment that you are worthy to court her with a view to marriage." Before Dim could react, Cheng-Lee added, "Yes, she is aware that you feel attracted to her, and that your attraction is of an honorable kind. Don't worry, this doesn't mean that we regard you as already bound to my daughter by an oath; but since you are a man of decent heart, I freely tell you that she feels equally attracted to you. Take all the time you need to develop the acquaintance, but her mother and I are completely optimistic about it."

Dim and Sabado enjoyed several opportunities to train with Master Ying's students; Ying told his female students to pull their punches, due to the problem with Dim's armor. Master Ying, for his part, used both Combatalot and the Banjolorian as examples for fighting an armored antagonist. Every time he struck either of them with his hands, he kept his knuckles out of contact with metal, hitting instead with the heels of his hands. Dim and Sabado could both feel his chi power pushing against them right through their armor, though he was striking only lightly.

Communicating with the Filipino metallurgists who had created Combatalot's armor, Dim provided exact measurements from his own Banjolorian suit. He was able to pay for a new suit out of the honorariums he was receiving from universities where he lectured about the worlds he knew. The new armor he purchased was almost indistinguishable to the eye from the original suit. He would retain both suits, because their working merits differed. The new armor would protect him against physical blows by women-- which Tien-Hai verified by whacking him with a staff to no effect; but the old armor still was better at resisting directed-energy attacks, including if a woman fired the raygun. The advantage against beams had been confirmed, not by pointlessly damaging the new suit, but by trying lasers on sheets of the same alloy used for Combatalot's armor.

Dim's choice of armor for any future adventure would be determined by which hazard seemed more likely, being shot at with lasers or being punched and kicked by a woman.

This post is extending chronologically ahead of most timelines in my story. Five weeks after their first meeting. Tien-Hai asked Dim, "Would your face-hiding rule be transgressed if I, who cannot see you, formed a plaster life-mask of your face? Then my father and others would know what your face looks like, yet still would not see it. Call it a profound Asian paradox."

What was truly profound was how much Dim Jargon had come to love the kung-fu master's daughter by now. Her modest and kindly but also courageous temperament had brought him past worrying that he "only" desired her because he would be able to bend his face-hiding rule with her. So he accepted the life-mask suggestion: "I never heard of any Banjolorian leader or scholar forbidding the molding of a face. If they ever did, it's THEIR fault for not letting me know!"

When Master Ying and other this-planet Chinese (along with the Spacer Swimmers) indirectly beheld what the otherworldy warrior looked like, they all agreed that this was exactly the face of a man who would look stoically sad if a gifted child whom he had long protected were taken away, for the child's own good, to be educated at a school for superheroes.

Dim took part in various minor adventures between that day and the later date of his wedding to Tien-Hai. The cast of his face was attached over his helmet visor during part of the ceremony. When they were pronounced husband and wife, the entire assemblage considerately closed their eyes, allowing Dim to remove his helmet long enough to kiss his bride. Chinese women, here as on Original Earth, customarily did not kiss their husbands until they actually were married.

A few of the guests, including Tien-Hai's father, chuckled at how long it took before Dim donned his helmet again and told them: "All right, you can look again."

That night, with ALL of his armor and armament removed, the Banjolorian took Tien-Hai in his arms and whispered, "I'm so happy now, happier than I ever even guessed was possible!"

The bride framed his face between her graceful hands. Just before pulling him into their second kiss ever, she told him, "This is the way."

 

[Copperfox]

In the Bubblewrap Five reality, Lieutenant Corin Webber, formerly of Earthlyforce, was gaining confidence in his control of the Shadything ship he was plugged into. He was ready to give the complacent Mintcandybarri an embarassing surprise.

One point he had needed to be sure of was his ability to bring the ship out of hyperspace WITHIN a planet's atmosphere, thus reducing the target's response window nearly to zero. Lacking this function, he would hesitate to attack Mintcandybarr EVEN with the locals being off guard.

With all shipboard sensors maximized for life signs, Webber brought the horror-ship into normal space barely a kilometer above the tallest buildings in the planetary capital. With lightning speed lent to him by the Shadything interface, he began shooting at structures which had no people in or alongside them. He had his destroying beams calibrated to focus at short range, vaporizing everything they hit, so that no debris would strike pedestrians on the streets below. By the time the Mintcandybarri had even begun to grasp what was happening, he had damaged thirty buildings without seriously hurting any people. Then, just before escaping back into hyperspace, he jettisoned his little calling card.

On his own, Lieutenant Webber had never learned any of Mintcandybarr's written language; but it was in the Shadything ship's database. What he dropped off was a kind of placard, sturdy but not so heavy as to inflict major harm even if it fell directly onto a bone-crested head.

The monstrous warship was gone again before anyone in the city so much as noticed the falling placard. When they found it, they saw that it said:

Guilty secrets will be exposed. A hypocrite will be put to shame.

 

[Copperfox]

TRIPPENWONK MINUS TEN DAYS: The version of Earth which had just acquired eight superheroes was about to acquire a ninth-- on a short-term basis.

This day was the exact first anniversary of a murder in Sydney, Ostralia (same as our Australia, they merely spelled it differently.) Erica Childers Vincent had been the new bride of an Ostralian air force veteran, Preston Vincent, who had gone into aircraft design. Her slayer had never been caught, and this had influenced Preston's future work. He wanted to build a police helicopter whose ability to locate and follow criminals on the ground would be the best ever seen. Military-grade weaponry would be an optional addition. Since Australia's wild dogs were tracking predators, he called his design Airdingo. Two functional prototypes existed.

On this day, having test-flown Airdingo One yesterday, Preston was just landing from a satisfactory test flight of Airdingo Two.... when a voice which could not be speaking, spoke in his earphones.

"Rotors neutral, cut power. Keep your cool, darling, it's me, but only for a short time."

"ERICA????" Engines off, rotors slowing to a halt, Preston burst out of the cockpit (head kept low) and looked wildly in all directions. "ERICA????"

Her voice was in the air now, as if still being heard by radio: "Yes, it's Erica. You need to listen carefully. Since we're on an Earth which is not under the same reality-limits as Original Earth, never mind that part right now, I've been allowed to come back, TEMPORARILY, from the afterlife. I've been in AsaLion's Country, just call it Heaven, same place. You have wonderful achievements ahead of you, my darling; the world needs you to live to DO those things. And it's all right if you marry again, and have with some good woman the children we should have had. There is no rivalry or jealousy in AsaLion's Country."

Barely able to take this in, Preston only exclaimed, "Where are you?"

"You'll see me shortly, dearest, and you'll even be able to embrace me. But you need to know that I have a mission. A heavenly kookaburra brought me back to Earth, to stay only until my job is done."

Preston took deep breaths, trying still to understand. "I take it your mission is to bring your killers to justice?"

"That won't be necessary, beloved. The kookaburra told me that the gangsters who murdered me will soon be answering to God for their crimes, without my needing to do anything about them. The bad news is that those men will die in a really big disaster. God does allow bad things to happen in the mortal universe, and we have no time to discuss the theology. My mission is to HELP YOU reduce the number of human beings who will die."

Petty exasperation interfered with the widower's wonderment. "If you're here, can't we talk face to face?"

"Forgive me, darling, of course, just don't be alarmed by how I look."

Then Erica was there-- seen by some of Preston's employees as well as by Preston. She didn't look that different; her light-brown hair was black now, and she was dressed in what looked like black leather, but she still was Mrs. Erica Vincent. A kookaburra was perched on her shoulder, but flew away when she turned to speak to the airfield workers.

"Everyone gather around, but keep quiet! Yes, it's I, Erica, and yes, this is a supernatural event! Mouths closed, ears open!" They all complied, and Erica could finally throw her arms around Preston and kiss him. Only once, because business couldn't wait. She spoke to her husband, but loudly enough that everyone would hear what she said.

"Darling, I know that when our enemies come, you'll be ready to die fighting them. But I won't let you die if I can prevent it. You certainly won't be allowed to throw your life away for nothing."

Preston insisted on kissing her once more; yes, she was physically present, and physically kissing back. "Then get to it, Erica: WHO ARE these enemies?"

"Extraterrestrials. They have the technology to jump right across space and BE here all at once."

"Like Doctor Whoodat on television?"

"Sort of, but not funny. They'll come through space-time tubes, hitting many countries in rapid succession. This gives them surprise, obviously; but it also helps us, in a way. They'll emerge near the ground, meaning they can't conduct stand-off bombing from orbit. We'll be able to fight back as soon as they attack us."

One workman interjected, "So if they come down under, we can use the Airdingoes to fight them?"

"Yes, we can and will. Preston, you need to let me fly the lead helo, because I can't be killed. I could potentially be buried under a collapsed building or something like that, but I cannot die now. I will be on Earth for as long as I can do any good against this threat. When my mission is done, please DO NOT imagine that you need to follow me into eternity right then." She kissed him, longer than before. "We still have our heavenly reunion ahead of us, even if you live to be a hundred here below. It'll be worth waiting for."

Preston believed everything she was telling him. "Very well, sweetheart, what's our next move?"

"First, you inform the Ostralian government that an alien invasion is imminent. They'll come in ten days, give or take a few hours. Every continent except Antarctica will be invaded. They'll hit population centers; I do know that New Delhi will be the first location attacked, but others will follow quickly. Pass the same information to Stony Stork, the Yankee industrialist. He already has an idea of what's coming, and is rallying people who can help in the defense. Earth will need to be defended on many fronts. Let Mister Stork know about our capabilities here, so he knows that at least one special resource will be deployed for Ostralia."

That night-- before Preston could get very far at persuading someone to listen to him-- several hundred Ostralian men and women in positions of responsibility, such as police chiefs and hospital administrators, all dreamed that a talking kookaburra warned them about an impending attack by evil space aliens. He also repeated to them that New Delhi was to be the first beachhead, and added that Stalingrad and Cairo would be hit soon afterward. (On this Earth, Stalingrad was the capital of a still-viable Soviet Union.) Ostralia would be the last invasion target, but it WOULD be invaded. He went on to tell all of them, not only to warn the Indian, Soviet and Egyptian governments, but also to inform the head office of Stork Enterprises in the United States, so Stony Stork would never think this was anything like a prank.

Less than three hours after the Communist Party headquarters in Stalingrad received the first warnings, all Soviet (and Cuban) media outlets unanimously began scoffing at corrupt Western capitalist dogs who expected the People's Government to believe that magical dreams could foretell so momentous an event as a landing by extraterrestrials. The official journalists went on to declare that any space aliens advanced enough to cross interstellar space and visit Earth would also be advanced enough to understand instantly why the Marxist socio-economic model was the very apex of human evolution.

 

[Copperfox]

On Planet Srirachiss, the surviving members of the Ashtrayides family (minus the absent Groan Starr) felt safe inviting Princess Eerilake and Count Havabeer to meet the two sequestered Naughtygators, the full-powered Roundabounder and the more-human Haxxadoff.

"You two," began Stillneater the son of Muddy-Drip, "are aware that the new 'retro' space technology will make your starflight method henceforth only an option: still the best option as long as you stay available, but no longer the ONLY option. Our second option will be good enough that we can make it suffice if we have to."

Haxxadoff looked at his superior officer in the Spaced-Out Guild. "Captain, I've been in close contact with them longer than you have, and they've treated me well. If I'm right in guessing that they're about to offer us privileges, I'll ask you to believe me, that the privileges won't come with an unacceptable price." Roundabounder remained noncommittal.

"Look at me, Naughtygator Captain," said Eerilake in a mild voice. "The Reverent Mommy Jazzica knows that I desired her firstborn son for myself; but as a truth-finder, she also knows that I will never allow my former, selfish jealousy of Grainy to translate into any ill-will toward the children whom Grainy bore to Muddy-Drip. If Jazzica forgives me for past bad behavior, you can be confident that she will be gracious to you."

"Haxxadoff is right," said Gladiola. "With my Uncle Groan AND Aunt Trala still away, and Eerilake's ship grounded for study by our engineers, you could earn VERY great favor in our eyes by serving us willingly, so we don't need to watch out constantly against sudden treachery from you. My grandmother is understandably anxious for my uncle and aunt, her surviving children."

Lady Jazzica took it from there: "I want to go where Trala and Groan went. You, Roundabounder, have sufficient space-time visualization that you could bring us at least close to the correct solar system; then my own Penny Jezebel intuition should be able to narrow the search still further."

"Will I be included in this expedition?" asked Havabeer.

"So you will, since I am satisfied of your sincerity. Gladiola will come too, and Captain Kracknuk. You, Stillneater, will stay on Srirachiss, working with Sleevecard and Eerilake to keep things moving here."

 

[Copperfox]

THIS POST ALSO IS MOVING AHEAD IN TIME BEYOND MOST OF THE PLOT ARCS.

On Planet Latterdawn, the former crew of Moonbase Alpo had a well-duh moment.

Bill Redvest, a low-ranking electrician in the planetside settlement, was in charge of routine checks on the power supply for the anti-insect sonic projectors. On a very ordinary afternoon, he suddenly straightened up in his workstation chair.

"THE SAPLINGS!"

Chief Scientist Barbara Brainy heard his exclamation from two rooms away. Hurrying to the power monitoring room, she asked him, "What did you say?"

"Doctor Brainy, I remembered what you figured out about the insect-repelling trees. They don't begin to emit their insect-repelling scent until they've gained another month's growth beyond their current height."

"Yes, of course. That's why we're maintaining ultrasonic defense until---" All at once, the lightbulb went on over Barbara's head. "Oh God, we never verified that the range of our sound waves would REACH AS FAR as the tree perimeter! And if not--!"

Bill finished the thought: "If the trees are outside the perimeter, then if the giant army ants come near BEFORE the trees are mature, they'll eat the trees, and we'll be back at square one, still needing to depend on the sonic defense indefinitely!"

A wild scramble ensued. Bill and other technicians gathered up replacement sound generators which had been laid up in reserve, and loaded them into the settlement's equivalent of jeeps (they only had three of these neo-jeeps). Versaderma, in a bird shape again, carried one additional emitter. Although there had not so far been any pseudo-ant attacks, or BECAUSE there hadn't been any, the colonists didn't know how fast the swarms could move. After the spare sonic emitters had been set up with solar generators to run them, Commander Foote decided that another three or four units needed to be added, to make sure the outer perimeter had no gaps in coverage

The day after these actions, Versaderma took a routine surveillance flight..... and spotted a new insect swarm advancing straight toward the settlement. She called it in. The Looker-At-Things had assured them that ultrasonic vibrations WOULD work against the communal omnivores; but flamethrower teams were on standby, just in case. Happily, the sound waves did perform as promised. The pseudo-ants turned aside when they came within twenty feet of the emitters. This was a relief, but it also verified that the original placement of sound generators would not have had enough reach to protect the special trees.

Until the protective trees began producing their anti-bug scent, the electrical power priority for the sonic defense became still stricter. For this period, no one was allowed to play video games. Numerous personnel thus rediscovered non-electrical games like chess.

And Bill Redvest received a promotion.

 

[Copperfox]

Rejoining Groan Starr, Vixen, Puke and Company

The converted Lazytaxie Face Twister Maskoflage was happy to be of use to his new associates. Brutus "Batfellow" Dwayne arranged to smuggle him from Urbanopolis to Generic Large City, where he would join Bunkem Isotope and Trala-Lalia. Maskoflage would disguise himself as Groan Starr; he, Trala and Bunkem would board the Selenium Falcon, joined by Zoorama disguised as Vixen, ostensibly to do flyovers of American cities where the ship had not been seen. (Zoorama would be wearing a blonde wig like the one Vixen was currently wearing.) The public relations value did no harm, but the real purpose was to misdirect public attention, so that the actual Groan and Vixen could be smuggled in the opposite direction, to the Dwayne estate in the suburbs of Urbanopolis. Groan thus would have his chance to learn aspects of the hero business from watching Batfellow.

Secondarily, by being on the goodwill cruise, Zoorama could more conveniently perform sorcerous reconnaissance, looking for any signs of super-villains still at large, including Scarycloak and Opposite Whoosh. Puke and Bot Index, meanwhile, would stay on at Spark Laboratories in Generic Large City. Puke would be shown off around that city (which, if the reader hasn't figured this out yet, was Seedubb's geographical equivalent of Chicago), always accompanied by well-liked heroes like Spiderweb-Man or Captain Patriot. While Puke was being treated to Seedubb's version of Chicago cuisine, Bot Index, confirmed as a sentient, free-willed being, would further her acquaintance with Victor Stoke a.k.a. Cyberdork.

On first seeing Stately Dwayne Manor, Princess Vixen remembered courtesy, and pretended to be impressed by the mansion. She was more genuinely impressed by Alphonse Nickelworth, who had known to expect them. Back on Planet Directvideo, Vixen had met all of the relatively few military officers her mostly pacifistic homeworld possessed; but none of them had possessed the unfeigned air of manly dignity the war veteran-turned-butler possessed. Not that Vixen thought any less well of her husband, but she was impressed with the fact that Alphonse had won the love of the reformed criminal Harpy Grinn, now Harpy Nickelworth.

When Vixen asked where Mrs./Dr. Nickelworth was, Alphonse replied, "She is at her new office, interviewing candidates for a job as her appointments coordinator." Then, with an understated British smile: "And keeping nosy reporters at arm's length. Now, may I offer you some refreshments?"

Over a superb light lunch, they were introduced to Saltina Kool Dwayne, who insisted that Alphonse eat with them. Catfemale and the warrior-butler gave their guests an in-depth biography of the Caped Campaigner from differing perspectives. They could speak frankly, since Groan and Vixen's trustworthiness came attested by Doctor Unusual and Zoorama.

Lunch was followed by a tour of the Bat-Grotto. Alphonse remained upstairs, just in case any other visitors turned up; Virgil Fixxit was already awaiting the off-world couple, and began explaining the technology. Vixen managed to stop herself from telling Virgil that she came from a planet whose technology was a century ahead of anything on Seedubb. Groan Starr had actually WORKED with technology more in any week of his adult life than Vixen ever did in any whole year; and he had seen worlds with a wide range of difference in their industrial potential. He understood that what was available in the Bat-Grotto represented enormous achievements relative to what was possible on this planet.

Virgil soon had Groan seated at a console, eagerly surveying views of cities all over the North American continent. Saltina kept Vixen talking during this, asking the princess numerous intelligent questions about Planet Directvideo.

 

[Copperfox]

All at once, Groan straightened in his seat, muttering, "I wish Bunkem were here!"

Standing near, Virgil asked, "Is that the intelligence-enhanced man who's married to your sister?

"Yes, he's what's called a Mentalcat. The term is meant to suggest that he can stalk ideas and pounce on them."

Virgil peered into the screen Groan had been perusing, then looked at Groan again. "Have you found something specific that you wish your brother-in-law could consider?"

Groan met the scientist's gaze. "Yes, indirectly. Why does the United States have so many superheroes?"

"In part, because we allow people from other countries to immigrate here, which gives us a highly diverse population. Also, individual initiative is rewarded more in America than in countries with a collectivist view of society. If Brutus had grown up in a culture controlled by herd-mentality groupthink, he would still have found an outlet for his creativity and aggressiveness; but he would never have become Batfellow."

"All right, makes sense. The Face Twisters from Planet Greedy Crime have been active in the United States, where they could make a good assessment of the top level of progress on this Earth. But I'm told that Maskoflage admits he doesn't know where all the others like him went to work. I'll venture to think that his alien bosses didn't even TELL him now MANY there were. We saw one retrieval ship, the one that Wisecracker and his gang tried to steal; but the Face Twisters we know about might not even be the first ones assigned here.

"This is what I'd like to have Bunkem thinking about. I understand that there are close to two hundred separate nations on this Earth, and similar numbers on other versions of Earth. I accept your judgment of why the Snarkonnens would be interested in the United States; but there must be features of other countries which could also interest them; and they might find it expedient to conceal the orders of one infiltration team from the orders given to another team."

Virgil nodded. "We call this compartmentalizing information."

"All right. Now, if a dictatorship had assets of interest to the Snarkonnens and the Lazytaxies, and they sent a team there too, that government's OWN secrecy policies might be preventing you, here, from suspecting the Face Twisters' presence in THAT country.

"China," said Virgil. "Some of us, thanks to resources like Doctor Unusual, do have knowledge of Original Earth. Because they don't have superheroes there, indeed CAN'T have them, the totalitarian administration in China has been able to do pretty much whatever it wants to do. Having a population over one BILLION, and having no qualms of conscience about expending their lives, confers major advantages on a tyranny. We can only pray for Original Earth; but here on Seedubb, we have a deterrent against evil which the original America doesn't have. So the Communist regime in our China, because they CAN'T simply conquer us by force, might actually welcome a delegation from Greedy Crime."

"And if the Snarkonnens were making friendly overtures to a dictatorship on Seedubb Earth, they would WANT the agents assigned in America to be kept unaware of it. What you called compartmentalization."

Virgil smiled. "Even without your Mentalcat brother-in-law, you do some good thinking. My latest news from Kansas is that Doctor Unusual will be able to leave the hospital, albeit with a neck brace under his cape, day after tomorrow. Then we'll request his aid in finding out if there are Snarkonnen spies in China."

"All right. Now, short of international violence, is there any Seedubbian superhero who is respected enough in China that he could talk with its rulers? Feel them out diplomatically on the subject of space aliens among them?"

"Yes, when he gets back from space patrol. I refer to Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles, who contacted you when your ship first approached our Earth. Because he deals amicably with numerous other planets, he is widely perceived as an impartial, cosmopolitan man. In fact, Chinese politicians have referred to him as being 'above petty international squabbles'."

Frowning, Princess Vixen made her first contribution to this conversation: " 'Petty squabbles?' Do you want to know where I recently heard that phrase being used? The Spacebullies, before Bob Snooze was overthrown, used to accuse MY FATHER, King Lowbrain, of 'squabbling' and 'being petty' because he didn't want to bankrupt our economy and threaten our own environment by transporting thousands of tons of oxygen to Planet Spacebull at our expense, when Spacebullion science should have been able to improve their atmosphere on its own!"

"Be that as it may," said Virgil, "our Green Flashlight still is the best man to attempt honest, out-in-the-open diplomacy with Beijing."

 

[Copperfox]

Right then, Saltina Kool Dwayne smacked her own forehead. "THAT'S what we neglected to do!"

Virgil Fixxit realized instantly what she meant. "We never uploaded our frequencies and encryptions to the Selenium Falcon's communication suite! Now we can't make a secure call to Groan's ship to get Bunkem and Trala involved sooner!"

"It might not make much difference," Vixen remarked. "The Snarkonnens were already at work on Seedubb Earth before Groaner and I even found you. Surely they won't complete every scheme they've got in the time before we CAN contact my sister-in-law and her man."

"That's right," said Saltina, grasping Vixen's hand.

Vixen squeezed her new friend's hand in return. "As it is, my own man may be able to shorten the delay. Groaner, darling, you have the Fuss and your sister has The Jalapeno. I know that neither of those power sets gives actual telepathy, except for Master Yoga-Rug and maybe one or two others; but surely, between your sensitivity and hers, you can at least send her some sort of hint, or feeling, or call?"

Virgil's eyes flicked between the two spouses. "I suppose it can't hurt to try."

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Thirteen minutes later, sitting in the copilot seat on the Selenium Falcon, Trala-Lalia of the Spoon exclaimed: "Oh!.....Brother?"

Looking at his wife calmly, Bunkem Isotope said, "Groan has just attempted psychic contact with you, because no one ever uploaded secure-comms parameters for the Bat-Grotto into this ship's communication suite, and Groan or someone with him wants to hear from us. But it isn't a matter of near-term life or death, because you would be more upset if it were."

Zoorama looked at Bunkem, impressed. "You're neither telepathic nor sorcerous. My own instincts tell me that your explanation is correct, but how DID you figure it out instantly?"

"I'm a Mentalcat. Mentalcats are ALL ABOUT being smart."

"So they are," Maskoflage told the gorgeous magician. "We had Mentalcats on Greedy Crime, and they were always figuring things out in a snap. You'd think this would make them good schoolteachers, but the reverse was true. Mentalcats in our schools were always much too impatient with students who DIDN'T have the Mentalcat enhancement."

"Then what do you recommend, Bunkem?" asked Zoorama.

"We respond in a way which doesn't make it obvious to any onlooker that we DID respond to anything. Like we just happened to change course, and NOT straight back toward Urbanopolis."

Though not a Mentalcat herself, Trala-Lalia did have the benefit of Penny Jezebel training in clear-mindedness. "Right! We're faster than any atmosphere craft, so we--"

"--will exit atmosphere, maintaining our westward vector," Bunkem picked up. "Our climbing into space in a direction opposite to Earth's rotation will be a demonstration of our superiority in spacecraft, since Earth-originated spacecraft always take off WITH the planet's rotation. We'll appear to be simply showing off, to raise our prestige with the natives. We'll reach Urbanopolis the LONG way, by sub-orbital trajectory, faster than a passenger jet would have made it the short way. We'll thus look as if we intended this all along, yet we'll also rejoin Groan and Vixen soon enough to meet up for whatever purpose they have in mind."

And sure enough, the Selenium Falcon was over the state of York-Jersey, looking for the closest landing spot to Stately Dwayne Manor, without having caused harm to any airplanes or satellites, less than two hours after Groan had signaled Trala.

 

[Copperfox]

Change of scene

The space-motorboat with magic eyes came out of hyperspace above the Earth-variant where The Revengists lived. Thunder-Master Thorpe, using the magic eyes, made mental contact with (appropriately enough) the sentient android called Eyesight. Eyesight facilitated contact with Earth governments; Mopey-One Kanoli would land his A-Frame ship near this Earth's version of the United Nations. Thorpe's friend Hoodunnit, who was known to the humans of this solar system, would escort the up-side Fuss master, tacitly endorsing his honesty. While Mopey-One made a beginning of diplomatic relations between this Earth and the Republic of Lots of Worlds, the space-motorboat would return to Hallpasscard, accompanied by Pro Dashalong's larger ship.

Timekall Bridgekeeper, the sentry who never needed to sleep, was at his post guarding the space-time bridge called Dentfloss. He saw the three ships as soon as they emerged from hyperspace, a mere thirty or forty million miles away, and saw that the smaller of the two unfamiliar ones veered for the Earth of this solar system. Using his magic cell-trumpet, he passed word to Queen Sprigga and Ballwun the Uncommonly Decent, the latter being Thorpe's friend entrusted with the hammer Oatmealnir at present. The magic trumpet also let him contact a surprised Pro Dashalong, directing him to a landing spot.

When the two arriving ships were safely grounded, Thorpe called out to Timekall: "The interstellar cabin cruiser you built served us well!" Then he began introducing his new friends, beginning with Master Yoga-Rug. He told Ballwun to keep Oatmealnir until further notice. Ballwun then caught his friend up on local news.

"Your father has taken a turn for the worse: not physically, but in spirit. He has begun to forget every good outcome we ever had against evil; and he now seriously believes that this imaginary evil sister of yours actually exists someplace. Whenever I make a routine report on the activities of our troops, your father asks me which unbeatable villain has destroyed our army today."

"I'll do what I can to help him," said Yoga-Rug.

Timekall and Ballwun saw to it that accommodations would be ready for the new arrivals, and were glad to know that even Yoga-Rug could digest the same foods Hallpasscardians ate. The guests would get to meet Queen Sprigga shortly, but Thorpe hustled the up-side Fuss master to the King's apartments in a hurry.

Garryowen was not bedridden, but he was wearing the mythical equivalent of pajamas. He was not so far gone as not to recognize his son, but the ageless fire was gone from his eyes.

"My king and father, allow me to introduce Yoga-Rug, the friendly wizard who reached out to us across the cosmos."

"Is this a Dwarf?"

"He is what is called a Toofah-Roffian. His name is Yoga-Rug, and he wields a power known as The Fuss. The space travelers who came with him all have known him for years, and he was instrumental recently in overthrowing a demonic emperor called Porkanbeen."

Garryowen stared at Yoga-Rug without apparent pleasure. "You overthrew someone called Porkanbeen? Then he must have been a GOOD demonic emperor, because evil demonic emperors can never be defeated. "

Thorpe was dismayed, but resolute. "Father, this belief in evil never being beaten is a delusion, imposed upon you by some evil spell, or by a comicbook technology advanced enough to simulate magic. Do you not remember our DEFEATING Flatnose? And being forced to kill my stepbrother Croaki?"

Garryowen blinked. "Flatnose was defeated also? Surprising; I could swear that I heard HE was evil."

Yoga-Rug muttered, "This isn't going to be easy."

 

[Copperfox]

Since King Garryowen, in his despondent condition, always had someone close by, it was not necessary for his faithful wife Sprigga to be with him every minute. Accompanied by a radiantly beautiful Hallpasscardian lady-in-waiting named Orvodi, she went to meet the newcomers. Pro Dashalong was mightily taken with Orvodi at first sight; but he had already heard enough about Thorpe's human-like race to realize that this fresh-faced maiden could easily be five hundred years old now, and yet still outlive him by another millennium or more. Not much point in my desiring her, or not from her perspective on time.

"All of Hallpasscardia welcomes you, honored voyagers." If the Queen's voice had been food, it would at once have been as sweet as candy from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory in Colorado on Original Earth, as hearty as a bacon cheeseburger from the Five Guys burger chain, as vitamin-rich as a salad from the Mad Greens chain, as refreshing as a smoothie from Berry Blendz, and as cunning as your author sneaking in product endorsements.

Lots of cordial, introductory talk flew back and forth, some of it relevant to the effort to cure the King, until Sprigga asked her son, "Who was the man that went with with Hoodunnit to visit Mediumgard?"

Orvodi was taking at least enough notice of Pro Dashalong to perceive that he was puzzled. So she drew him aside a bit, and quietly told him, "We are aware here that multiple versions of the human world exist. Each one is referred to by its own people as 'Earth,' or something like that. We say 'Mediumgard' to refer to the one closest to us in space."

Thorpe, meanwhile, explained to his royal mother who Mopey-One Kanoli was, and what up-side Fuss users were as a category. "Mopey-One will be telling the General Convocation some of the same things. He will also speak frankly about the forms of evil that stalk the universe. The Up-Side Order will try to prevent the Down-Side Fraternity from discovering this solar system; and up-siders like Yoga-Rug will follow our lead in matters of keeping Mediumgard safe."

Sprigga knew that the sentry Timekall could hear every word they were saying, and that his phenomenal brain could separate their words from the countless other sounds he could hear at the same time. Timekall DEFINITELY had never seen the memo that men can't multi-task.

"Timekall, if nothing more urgent is before you, please do a cosmic search. Try to locate some other member of the noble fellowship of which Master Yoga-Rug is the leader." Then she left him to his task; she and Orvodi continued exchanging information with their guests.

Not until after supper did Sprigga, accompanied by Ballwun and Pro Dashalong, go to ask Timekall what he had found.

"Your Majesty, I located one of the 'up-side masters': not of human kind, but unmistakably on the side of good. He is called Plow Korn; he is a close comrade to Yoga-Rug; and he is currently on a planet called Chimpanzia. This world is unfamiliar to us, but known to Fuss adepts."

"It sure is," Pro Dashalong interjected. "Master Yoga-Rug was involved in the defense of that star system-- it has two inhabited planets, the other one is called Directvideo-- against aggressors called Spacebullies, who follow the down-side."

Timekall thanked Pro for the fill-in, then continued: "Plow Korn has been speaking to two females of the race which lives on Chimpanzia; their names are Drusena and Lucasta. They were joined by a male Chimpanzian, seemingly a warrior, named Antilacor, who knew both females but was meeting Plow Korn for the first time. They were discussing something about a routine peaceful mission to Directvideo. I gathered that the three Chimpanzians all believe some evil has interfered with the mission. Plow Korn is going to investigate this. That much was all I could pick up from that star system, Your Majesty."

"Well done, Bridgekeeper, I shall distract you no further. It may be that Master Yoga-Rug, whose spirit is in tune with Plow Korn, can descry more of what was occurring there on Chimpanzia."

"Perhaps if Yoga-Rug went aboard Timekall's sky-boat," Ballwun suggested, "he could merge his power with the function of the boat's eyes, to learn details."

 

[Copperfox]

Thorpe, Vastbulk, Fratbro, Sniff, and Pro Dashalong with his crew, joined Queen Sprigga for a sober but companionable supper. Also present were Orvoki, Ballwun's wife Gretala (Ballwun being on duty), and the two most prestigious Hallpasscardians not belonging to the main line of royal succession: Garryowen's second cousin Lady Asinruya, and her husband Vidar the Tree-Planter.... the 35-century-old grandparents of Lady Sniff. Their son, Sniff's father Sigbold, had died in battle against the Cryofreeze Giants 418 years ago.

Lady Asinruya bore no resentment against Sprigga for being the Queen. Sprigga had been Queen of Hallpasscard for 1,046 years; it was a fact of life, and Sprigga never looked down her nose at people. But while not bitterly envying her second-cousin-once-removed-or-something-like-that-in-law, Asinruya did always want to show that she was at least important enough to be deserving of the attention she and Vidar always received from the royal family.

Therefore, Asinruya did the most poorly-timed and tactless thing she had done at any time in the past two centuries. She loudly asked Thorpe: "Tell us, Thorpe, how soon are you going to marry Sniff?"

The greatest living female fighter in Hallpasscard, who had been in love with her fourth cousin Thorpe for nearly all her "few" centuries of life, uttered a scream like a hundred lost souls, and knocked her chair down as she fled the banqueting table.

Electrical fire blazed in the Thunder-Master's eyes as he rose more steadily from his own seat. This pair of eyes held a power which could actually do something..... because THIS variant of the Norse god Thor was not at the mercy of a revisionist movie writer who spitefully wanted the Thunder-Master to be humiliated by his lightning never being permitted to accomplish anything. Not that Thorpe would ever even think of harming his kinswoman; but the electricity became part of his reproachful facial expression.

"Aunt Asinruya...." (Calling her "Aunt" was easier than remembering all the degrees of cousins; every living Hallpasscardian was related to every other one as at least seventh cousins if not closer.) "Do you realize that you have just made EVERY action I might choose the wrong action? If I tell you that I was just about to propose, I won't be believed, because it would not be true, though I might in fact have taken the step soon without any interference. If I go after Sniff, she'll assume that I'm only doing so from shame because you made it public that I hadn't betrothed her yet; but if I don't go to her, she'll take this as proof that I never felt anything for her. And even if she WERE to believe that I choose her above all other women, she'll suspect that I'm only thinking about marriage now because I'm thinking of dynastic stability in case, Actual God forbid it, my father were to pass away or be unable to continue reigning."

"I'll go to her," murmured Vidar, and left the table. He was famed for being able to impart to others the calm peace of a deep forest.

The tangible, wordless anguish which now inundated the dining room-- punctuated by the weeping of Asinruya, who really had not meant any harm-- was broken when Lady Gretala said, "Maybe an impartial outsider is what we need right now: someone who can look into hearts." The Queen understood that Gretala had Yoga-Rug in mind, and ventured to hope that the younger woman's idea would in fact help matters.

Gretala was gone only a minute and a half, before she returned to the room with Yoga-Rug beside her. "I sensed the disturbance in The Fuss expanding from here," said the up-side master. "Lady Gretala has told me what happened. I believe I can put Lady Sniff's mind at ease. I can sense which direction to look for her. I can also sense that the Queen's cousin here meant no harm, only wanted to be able to congratulate the couple; so everyone please forgive her." Thorpe and his mother immediately declared their own forgiveness to Asinruya.

Yoga-Rug headed for the door by which Sniff had run away. Just after he passed out of their sight, his voice drifted back into the dining room: "Oh, by the way, I've completely cured King Garryowen of his mental problem; he's fatigued, but in no danger. He wants to see his wife and son."

 

[Copperfox]

Various palace employees, already aware that Garryowen was better now, happily made way for queen and prince to hurry to the royal chambers. Welbymark, the Hallpasscardian physician who had kept watch on the king's vital signs all along, smiled at Thorpe and Sprigga. "Your Majesty, Your Highness, His Majesty can speak for himself now;" and Welbymark left the apartments.

"Beloved souls," Garryowen began, "Master Yoga-Rug succeeded in summoning Ignore-It and Forget-It home, so they would realize how things were here." He indicated his magical birds, who could fly around the universe to gather news, now perched on the headboard.

Sprigga tenderly kissed her husband. "And what was the turning point?"

"As Yoga-Rug may have told you, he can't read minds in detail thought by thought, unless a person is intentionally TRYING to send thoughts to him; but he can pick up a sketch of what others are thinking about or feeling. This includes detecting some indication of a mind elsewhere influencing the mind of the person Yoga-Rug is examining. While everyone close to me already understood that I had lost faith in the victory of good over evil, Yoga-Rug, Actual God bless him, dug out the first clues of HOW this had happened."

Thorpe nodded. "We Hallpasscardians operate routinely in the overlapping space between science and magic, and the same appears to apply for the Fuss users. Did Yoga-Rug detect another power working the same way?"

"Exactly, son. He could tell that the source of the attack was located outside normal space, but in a place which could potentially be reached by anyone possessing good enough space-travel technology OR sufficiently sophisticated magic. And there were two further clues which he divined about the nature of the threat.

"Now, all of us in this room know that we are true living beings with real feelings and real souls, yet that our existence also is linked with what has been imagined by storytellers far away."

"This we know," agreed Sprigga; "but did Yoga-Rug discover that if people stop telling the stories, WE will cease to exist? "

"Nothing that bad," Garryowen assured her. "The True Creator will never annihilate His living, self-aware creatures just because somebody somewhere else forgets them. But events in our story-derived worlds are certainly AFFECTED by what storytellers on Original Earth make up. This is all part of the 'two further clues' I just mentioned. Ignore-It and Forget-It have brought me news for years about good people in various worlds losing hope in the struggle against evil. But Yoga-Rug sensed a complication in this phenomenon."

He looked into Sprigga's lustrous eyes. "We all know about the Retcon Effect. Sometimes it makes conditions better, but it often makes things worse. Those of us who understand story-reality, and strive to direct it in good paths, have long been concentrating our thought on the likelihood that unseen foes are ALTERING positive stories for the worse-- like that nonsense about us having an evil daughter who was more powerful than all of Hallpasscard combined. And once I was cured just now, Yoga briefly told me that the same kind of evil had been trying to make it so that GOOD Fuss users would change into useless cowards who ran away to hide someplace and drink green milk instead of doing their duty. And moments before you came in, my birds told me of one Earth where a hero called Captain Sha-Na-Na was changed into a coward by evil technology. He has not yet been cured, as of the time Ignore-It and Forget-It moved on.

"All this corrupting of pre-existing inspirational examples is bad enough. But now Yoga-Rug and I understand that things are being made still worse by the existence, in Original Earth, of stories which deny the power of goodness FROM THE VERY START. Thus, no Retcon Effect is doing the damage there. There are dwellers on Original Earth who DON'T WANT people to enjoy noble uplift. THEY are affecting us, if anything, more strongly than those who merely alter a story. We can't go to Original Earth to do anything about this; we can only try to retcon the harmful stories in a GOOD direction for our own timelines."

"Excuse me, Sire, did you cover both of the 'further clues' by what you've just said? I'm not sure."

"All of that was only the first of them. I know better than to worship simplicity at the expense of accuracy. Now that I've laid out the distinction, I can summarize the first clue by saying that the attack on faith is like a boxer throwing combination punches."

"And the second clue?" asked the Queen.

"That one IS simple. Evil immortals having some connection with the bad influence, these immortals including Inexorable Trash and Screendoormammu, refer to the extra-dimensional source of the influence as 'Hopecrushers'."

 

[Copperfox]

More changes of scene

Picking up right where we left off in the "Starship Grunts" reality.....

Slick "Dark Headgear" Mudpackis did not have so much experience directly commanding a ship as his friend Zoot Booter had. So he landed his own ship at a safe remove from where Zoot landed. He told the on-duty pilot to stay at the controls, ready for emergency liftoff if needed: "--but NOT without retrieving me, I mean retrieving the rest of us, in case of trouble. Petty Officer Kusshun, you lead most of the crew out to the left of Zoot's crew, and ahead from there; flank the monsters. ONE person will come with me to the right, closer to the settlement, so the colonists will see clearly that human help has arrived, before they see the Greedorks."

Lylah and Krayzee both had schoolgirl crushes on Dark Headgear, and quarreled about which one should accompany him. Standing beside the bottom of the boarding ramp, Krayzee invoked her having known Slick longer, and Lylah invoked his having chosen her to learn Fuss powers. Not waiting for the outcome of this dispute, Slick chose a mild-mannered crewman called Loindexter to go with him, and sent Perry Kusshun off with the majority.

When Krayzee sneered that Lylah hadn't acquired any Fuss powers yet (which was true), the fight was on. Since none of their shipmates were watching this, the reader is free to decide whether they fought old-school (clinching and hugging and rolling on the ground together, without either one getting hurt even slightly) or new-school (leaping twenty feet in the air, hitting each other with punches and kicks that would have slain elephants, and uprooting full-grown trees to club each other, with both women's blood flowing in rivers, yet neither one being slowed down at all by her wounds). Only when the sounds of gunfire became unmistakably more distant, did the two rivals let go of each other and look at the battlefield. Then each woman blamed the other for making them tardy to the battle. Each reader is now advised: whichever way you imagined them fighting at first, assume now that they resumed fighting in the other fashion.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

Mister Boone Crockett, Senior Planner of the Freesoil colony (they had named the planet this), was on the parapet above the barred gate of the stockade, firing the last machine gun that still had ammunition. He had been shooting in short, aimed bursts, instead of spraying bullets wildly. As a result, he had slain twice as many Creepycrawlids by himself as the other four machine gunners combined had managed before they ran out of bullets. Other points around the perimeter were defending with rifles and improvised fire bombs. The latter were very effective, but they also were nearly used up.

The Movable Infantry still was an hour from arriving-- which looked like being forty-five minutes too long to do any good. One spaceship had landed, and humans with some kind of guns had emerged, but Boone couldn't look away to see what they were doing. He had to buy every added second of life he could for his people.

The sense of "cavalry to the rescue" occurred only when two bug-monsters which climbed the stockade and almost caught hold of Boone were suddenly flung into the air by an unseen power-- flung so high that when they fell, they shattered like glass. At the same time, the unknown human reinforcements came near enough so the colonists could see them firing LASERS: a dramatic improvement over bullet-guns. Two of the rescuers were close to the stockade; others were running around the rear of the Creepycrawlid horde, killing more of the bugs in front as they went, but spreading out quickly to relieve other threatened points. By the time any of the Freesoil pioneers noticed the Greedorks following Zoot, it was obvious that the green fellows were friendlies.

Boone hurried to that portion of the perimeter which had not yet been relieved by the newcomers, and used a harpoon to pierce the vital nerve-junctions of two more Creepycrawlids, before a third monster's claw severely wounded him. Before he fainted from traumatic shock, Boone heard cheering. Evidently the bugs were being rolled back.

When the settlement leader awoke, he was in the infirmary, with other wounded pioneers to either side of him. Standing over him was the man who apparently had made those two monsters fly up in the air and fall to their deaths.

"Boone Crockett? My name is Slick Mudpackis; I'm also known as Dark Headgear. My companions and I are from a planet called Spacebull."

"Then God bless Planet Spacebull," the wounded man rasped.

"And the green ones are from a planet we have ties with." Now Slick assumed a solemn look. "Our world can use all the blessings it can get. Our beloved President, Bob Snooze, was deposed by fascists who hate everyone that's different. They would want to kill my green friends just for being different. My fellow dreamers and I--" (The newcomer pointed to two hospital beds containing women Boone had never met; these two women looked as if they had been in the hottest part of the action. In fact, each one looked as if she had survived wrestling a Creepycrawlid with her bare hands.) "--crossed the galaxy hoping to find a safe haven. Your colony is far enough away from Spacebull that none of the hatemongers will think to look for us here."

Loindexter, his confidence boosted by having been privileged to fight beside his leader, came forward and added, "If you'll agree to let us live among you, we can earn our way by teaching you some improved technology."

"He's right," said Slick. "You won't need the Starship Grunts while we're around. Given time, your people can become BETTER equipped than those military death-maniacs."

 

[Copperfox]

In the nation of Hukshem on Planet Punksteema, Towerman Ronald of Goliad and Hussar Captain John Telbroc still were guests of the prosperous D'Vargut and Shenzil Pril. The merchant family had assisted the gunslinger-knight in sending out inquiries for semi-retired Smoke Maidens in this part of the world. While awaiting responses, Ronald prepared a preliminary lesson for Razibi Pril the teenage daughter, with Razibi's fiance T'Pinnok Zur ready to assist.

In the spacious back yard of the Pril property, Ronald, John and T'Pinnok gathered a variety of objects-- including jars, boxes, a stool. and the saddle from Ronald's mule-- and then asked Razibi to stand in the middle of the yard and close her eyes. With Razibi's parents and other members of the household watching, the three men placed the assorted objects randomly around the yard. Then Ronald spoke to the waiting Razibi:

"In my experience, the best of Smoke Maidens I met in my youth were slightly faster than I on a pistol draw, and more accurate than I when firing a rifle at a distant and stationary target. But the Towermen hardly ever got into formal fast-draw duels, we tended to have guns already in hand when action started; and most rifle shooting we did was at moving targets. And no Smoke Maiden I ever met, no woman I ever met, could ever outdo me at keeping in mind the positions of objects in three-dimensional space. Now, any advantage you enjoy as a woman is perfectly valid for you to use as a fighter; but in view of how real fights often unfold, you must absorb as much as you can of the skill of knowing your total surroundings.

"All the objects for this exercise are now in position. You will open your eyes, then slowly turn through three full circles, looking at every object. In the first turnaround, concentrate on WHAT the objects are; on the second and third turnarounds, concentrate on observing WHERE they are in relation to each other and to you. After this, facing the direction you were at the start, close your eyes again, and I'll ask you to say where this or that object is. Do you understand the exercise?"

"I understand."

"Good. Since this is your first try, take all the time you want when turning and looking. Begin."

Razibi studied each object as if seeing it for the first time-- although, apart from Ronald's saddle, everything had been taken from her own home. By the time she finished three turnarounds, she was confident of knowing all the positions.

"Very good, Razibi. Now, point toward the blue vase." Razibi pointed accurately within a few degrees. Ronald then chose an object placed exactly opposite from the vase. "Where is the obviously cracked wooden box?" She was less accurate this time, but still pointed reasonably close to the box. "And where's my saddle?" Razibi pointed with a thumb, straight behind her. "How about the coil of rope?" For this one, she had to stop and think for many breaths, then said: "I remember now, the rope was in the same direction as the blue vase, but farther off. And the vase was.... give me a moment.... that way." She pointed.

Ronald shared a smile with John and T'Pinnok. "A little off, but still very good after having put your mind on other objects in between."

This went on for over half an hour, with placements changed after the first repeat. When Ronald began giving Razibi less time to remember where things were, her performance deteriorated noticeably; but the gunslinger-knight didn't give her any scolding speeches about not having time to think during a real fight. This was the start, and she was making a good start.

 

[Copperfox]

In West Africa on "Terra," Richard "Javelin" Berhanu met a group of Americans arriving at an airport. It was Rick Flagstaff, with a team of technicians and researchers from Area 42 in Nevada.

They had come to examine Willy Bastion, because the boy himself was oblivious to having changed in personality. The visitors included a surprise: Carly Whiz Shedd, the former criminal who had started as a psychiatrist, fallen into evil under The Joketeller's influence, left Joketeller with intent to stay a criminal but a freelance one, then been brought out of evil by Master Yoga-Rug who had been empowered by AsaLion to exert life-changing power at a galactic distance, then had fallen in love with Backy Shedd the Winter Trooper, then had received a pardon, then had married Backy, and had been reinstated as a practicing psychiatrist. Knowing Carly's history, Rick Flagstaff had reckoned that she would be the best possible therapist for the tampered-with Captain Sha-Na-Na. So when Carly's own husband, already in Africa, had asked for her to be on Flagstaff's investigative team, Flagstaff had been all for it.

Carly was purposely dressed in what she considered a terribly boring style. She had not become ashamed of being beautiful, but she was anxious for Backy to know that now she was saving it all for him alone. It made no difference to The Javelin, who was all business.

"Welcome to Africa, Doctor-- for professional purposes, would you rather be addressed as Doctor Whiz or Doctor Shedd?"

"Absolutely Doctor Shedd, Mister Berhanu. After the years I spent being submissive and obedient for a DISGUSTING RODENT, there's no way I'm going to dump feminist resentments onto a GOOD man. My only last name now is Shedd. Speaking of which, where IS my husband?"

"He's with Conn Johnstantine, the Brickhawks, and The Kestrel: all of them trying to stop Willy from stealing T-shirts in stores. Conn's magic is preventing Willy from changing into Sha-Na-Na, but the poor wizard has to sleep sometime."

"What about Mazash?" asked Rick Flagstaff. Mazash was the ancient sorceror who had first conferred upon Willy Bastion the ability to become Captain Sha-Na-Na. If he could be found, he should be able to help find the solution.

The Javelin sighed. "Unfortunately, no one knows where he is. We're not giving up the nanotechnology angle, but so far we haven't found anything like a microchip inside the boy's empty head."

"Let's hurry to where they are, then," said Carly, "and I'll see what I can do."

 

[Copperfox]

Snack Salad, security chief and third-in-command of Bubblewrap Five, had been questioning the captains of incoming ships, whatever the species flying them, to learn if any of them had sighted unfamiliar spaceships on their trips. No news was forthcoming. Snack was completing one more interview, this with a methane-breathing Yimyur crew in environment suits, when Noherra Synthmusica and Gross-Goo came up alongside him.

"Chief Salad?" Snack marveled again at how human her voice was. When he turned toward her, she continued, "Gross-Goo has been practicing his Fuss activity of searching the cosmos, looking for anything connected with your ancient foes."

Snack nodded to Noherra, then addressed Gross-Goo: "I understand that the Shadythings never showed themselves in your corner of the everything. Do you feel sure of being able to recognize their minds upon contact?"

"I think so, because evil is evil. Down-side Fuss users may not individually be as powerful as the Shadythings have been described; but the malice and selfishness are common elements. However, there's a different factor. As we've told you, although I don't pick out every detail of thoughts as if people were speaking aloud, I'm always aware of the PRESENCE of other sapient beings. In that way, being on your station is like being surrounded by people talking in many languages all at once."

"Actual telepaths have the same experience. Brita Alkaselzer, the telepath I fell in love with, told me about that sensation."

The security chief was startled to see Noherra doing a sort of jerking double-take, as if something he had said was alarming or baffling to her. But she offered no remarks; and Snack already knew that even human-shaped non-humans could have reasons for their actions and reactions which a human would never understand without being directly told the reasons. Therefore he simply continued, "Brita Alkaselzer was a high-grade psionic, who did a lot to help us against the Shadythings. She used to be so approachable and friendly, kind of like-- anyway, almost everybody liked her. I sure did." He sighed. "I tried to make her feel at home on the station. But afterwards, I mean after we got rid of the Shadythings-- if we really DID get rid of them-- she took an emotional nosedive. She took to complaining that nobody respected her, nobody appreciated her, nobody acknowledged all her suffering.

"Sure, she had a lot of nasty things happen to her..... but so did lots of other people, who didn't complain half as much as she did. President Loxbagel, then Captain Loxbagel, personally endured more pain than she did. But Brita got more and more like everything was about her. When she finally left the station, she never even said goodbye to me."

Noherra half-lifted a hand, as if to touch Snack, but drew her hand back before he noticed. "I didn't get to say goodbye to the man I loved; but at least I knew that he also loved me. And you didn't even get that much."

"Could be my own fault, for that time I told Brita how I felt about her. It was in an elevator. She never answered me one word. Like she didn't need to bother explaining how far beneath her I was."

"I'm sorry for you, Mister Salad," said Gross-Goo. "But we shouldn't require you to awaken your own sadness any further. What I was going to say is that I wish to go out in space, away from the mental noise, to have a better chance of intercepting any thought-signs that could be connected with the Shadythings."

"That's a good idea! I'm a qualified small-spacecraft pilot myself; maybe I'll take you out for your sweep-search."

Noherra, meanwhile, was thinking: The woman he loved chose to view him with contempt because he didn't have HER abilities. But Klayman didn't think any less of ME for not having Fuss powers....