Stories of a Lonely Girl

Copperfox said:
Here's what specially intrigues me about this story, ma petite. In most stories of this kind, including the James Thurber story I mentioned earlier, the person having the fantasies can only stay in them if not disturbed. If someone else in the real world suddenly speaks to the daydreaming character, the daydreaming character is immediately shaken out of the fantasy. But in your story, it seems to me that real-world people ARE trying to bring Camilla out of the mermaid fantasy, but she STILL stays in it. At least, that's how I understand you so far.
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I think I understand what your saying there Papa Joe.
But that is a mouthful what you said.
 
Copperfox said:
Here's what specially intrigues me about this story, ma petite. In most stories of this kind, including the James Thurber story I mentioned earlier, the person having the fantasies can only stay in them if not disturbed. If someone else in the real world suddenly speaks to the daydreaming character, the daydreaming character is immediately shaken out of the fantasy. But in your story, it seems to me that real-world people ARE trying to bring Camilla out of the mermaid fantasy, but she STILL stays in it. At least, that's how I understand you so far.
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oh no !! the characters of her imagination won't talk to her in real life, no at all, actually she won't see Leonardo again, don't worry, I sent you a message to explain to you :D The characters of her imagination won't disturb her in real life :)
 
I'm hooked!

Powl'
I like the way your descriptions and narrative help me feel with your heroine, how they draw me into the story. I also like the way the imagined events contrast so sharply with the bleakness of her school life. People are so petty and frustrating in the school, but so understanding and sensitive in the mer-world... Nice job!
 
Thank you Benisse, that's really nice :D yes, but I'm not only going to describe the mer-world, next time, she's going to jump in the times, I think to the 16th century, or before ...
 
The next day, I went to school. I was a little tired, because I hadn’t slept all night: I was thinking about Leonardo, my previous illusion … I arrived at school. Our technology teacher was late again. She was small, she had red hair, a hawk nose, little glasses on the end of it. I disliked technology. Our teacher always used to spend a half hour telling us the same thing all over and over again: we were lazy students – which was true for most of the pupils in the class. But we knew that, and then she would make comments about us not advancing in the program.

So we were in class, and she was yelling again. I was the delegate, and first of the class. Mrs “Keep-Yelling” had asked the new student to sit next to me so she could ask anything and I could help her. But every time the new one had something to ask me, and I opened my mouth, Mrs “Keep-Yelling” yelled:

“You know, just because you have great marks everywhere doesn’t mean I can’t withdraw your congratulations!! Yes, I can do that!! You have to close your mouth sometimes; you won’t have enough saliva for the rest of your life. Stop chatting!!”

I was furious, I wanted to respond to her, but a little thing called respect blocked me. After class, I was so mad, I wanted to leave the school. A big, fat boy, called Dylan came towards me

“What does he want?” I thought.
“Why do you work so had anyway?” he asked.

I looked at him surprised, that boy never talked to me, times to times to annoy me but that was it. And why did he even ask?

“I work because I want to succeed later.”
“Well I prefer to have bad marks, and be seen well by my friends than the contrary.”

If I had the courage to slap him, I promise I would have. But I didn’t, I just walked away, hearing his stupid laugh. He wasn’t bullying me, just taking pleasure to make me crack, I could have hit him if I wanted to, I wasn’t scared of him, I had pity for that stupid kid. But I stayed calm, keeping my anger inside myself.

We went to Math class. I was first in Math, as I was first in every other class, except sport. My Math teacher used to like starting a debate between me and him and then have the last word, because he was the teacher and I was the student, and that little thing called respect always stopped me. During the class I asked him something, but he didn’t answer to my question, so I asked again, and he told me:

“That’s incredible! I tell you something and you keep insisting.”
“Mr, you’re the teacher, aren’t you supposed to explain to me what I need to know?”
“That’s true, I’m the teacher, and you’re also a student. Give me your notebook of correspondence, I’m kicking you out of class.”

That was it! I thought again about Leonardo, about what he told me:

“You must never be afraid to express what you truly feel…”

His voice could still reason in my head. I stood up, but I didn’t give the teacher what he wanted, I didn’t want to give him satisfaction, so I put all my stuff in my bag, I walked to the door, I opened it.

“Where do you think you’re going? I haven’t filled your expulsion ticket.”
“Mr, you’re not expulsing me, I’m leaving of my full liking.”

And I closed the door and left the school. I went home. My mother was surprised to see me so early, I told her about my mishap with the teacher. She didn’t tell me off, as I excepted. She told me I’d stay home for the rest of the day. I sat on my bed and smiled. I felt good, really good. But I was wondering what would happen next time I’d see my Math teacher.
 
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Fantasy or not, I'm afraid those teacher characters are terribly REALISTIC! All my life, I have kept encountering authority figures who are totally unreasonable and unfair, who contradict themselves, and who treat you as "rebellious" just for asking perfectly honest questions.

The boy Dylan is also a realistic character. Something I've also encountered often in my 57 years is people who actually WANT to be ignorant, LIKE to be stupid, RESIST learning anything. It's disgusting, but true.

When you speak of expulsion, it appears that you mean something temporary, because the girl expects to see the Math teacher again. Is that correct? In the USA, "expulsion" means being permanently sent away.
 
well in that case, expulsion is expulsion for the rest of the class :)

those characters are horribly realistic because that part is the Girl's real life ;) maybe it hasn't been precised well ... I whould correct it.
 
If you mean, correct the description of horrid characters, no, don't do that! Instead, have all the bad people get cooked alive over a bonfire--just kidding.
 
hey, I just wanted to post that here, although I could post it in the Share a pic thread, but here's a drwing of mine. It's a mermaid :)
 

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Aww! It's a lovely mermiad! So you have another talent do you? Drawing? Well it's really good Powl.
URG! That Dylan... he reminds me of someone I know... I can't put my finger on it though. I'll be thinking of that then. :D
At least she left the class. Her math teacher sounds like a right old git.
 
Powl' said:
hey, I just wanted to post that here, although I could post it in the Share a pic thread, but here's a drwing of mine. It's a mermaid.
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It's so pretty!! I wish I could draw like that...but I couldn't draw to save my life. :rolleyes:
Jill_Pole_Wannabe said:
Aww! It's a lovely mermiad! So you have another talent do you? Drawing? Well it's really good Powl.
URG! That Dylan... he reminds me of someone I know... I can't put my finger on it though. I'll be thinking of that then. :D
At least she left the class. Her math teacher sounds like a right old git.
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A "right old git?!" WOW, Vicky! :D Only you, only you.... :p
 
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