Isobel knew that the Holy Spirit was at work, for Lorraine sat meekly listening as the pastor's wife brought numerous Bible references into play, forming a picture of how Jesus came not to BE served, but TO serve, as told in Mark 10:45. Isobel explained the supreme UNselfishness of Jesus, and this led naturally to Philippians chapter two.
"This chapter tells of how Jesus gave up His privileges as part of God, so that He could make God's life available to us through His suffering and death. And the attitude God wants to see in US is in the same chapter. Look here, at the third verse: 'Do nothing out of selfishness and conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves.' "
This was where Lorraine's childish ego balked once more. "But that's telling us to _hate_ ourselves!"
Isobel closed her eyes for a few seconds. "Lord Jesus, let the veil be taken away; let the Spirit make her see!" Then she opened her eyes again and answered: "No, it does not say to hate ourselves! The only reason you even _think_ it says that is because you're bringing your pop-psychology thinking into this conversation, instead of letting the Word say to you what it _actually_ says. What it's telling you is to value others _above_ yourself."
"But, but...if I'm not good to me, who _will_ be good to me?"
"Lorraine, dear, try to _listen_ this time. The Scripture is telling _everyone_ to practice this humble and loving attitude. If everyone on Earth lives by self-centeredness, that makes _every_ other person on Earth your competitor. But if everyone practices what Philippians 2:3 commands, then everyone you meet will be someone who wishes good for you! That's who'll be good to you: only EVERYBODY!"
"But people _don't_ practice this kind of idealism," Lorraine objected.
Isobel clasped her guest's hand. "You're right, they don't. What they do instead....is to live by and for self-gratification, looking out for Number One. They start terrorist movements to impose their will on others, forcing men like Wilson Kramer to go and fight them. Or they commit fraud and theft, creating situations like the situation that endangered Baeline Tisdale in December. Or they leave the homeless unaided and unpitied, a situation that Alipang Havens could tell you plenty about. Or they tell slanderous lies about honest men, as a public-radio program did about Alipang's father this very morning. Or they desert their spouses and children just so they can have more fun--sound like anyone you know? But all of them have some excuse for it, some way to maintain their oh-so-important self-esteem _while_ still doing harm to humanity in large or small ways. And _that's_ why the world is in a mess."
"Well, well, what am I supposed to do about it?"
"The only thing a mortal woman or man CAN do: let _your_ heart be set free from what C.S. Lewis called 'that sleepless, unsmiling concentration on self which is the mark of Hell.' Quit being the competitor of everyone else on Earth; be filled with the love of the _Creator_ of the Earth!"
Lorraine stared at Isobel silently and intensely for ten seconds or longer before leaning away from her a little and gasping, "What's with you? What's happening to you? Why do you look like this? What's happening to you? What are you doing to me?"
Isobel reached her arms gently to embrace the slightly younger woman, finding her without any strength to resist. "Sweetheart, I haven't changed, and I'm not doing anything to you. If I look different to you, it's because God has blown away the smokescreen, to let you see more truly what was _already_ here: the hope of glory that I have because of Christ living in me! If He's letting you see this much, then He will also give you the ability to _believe_ what His Word has told you.
"You've already acknowledged what wonderful parents Eric and Cecilia are to their children; God cultivated that goodness in them. Your son Quinn has shown more tolerance toward you than you deserve to get from him--you know that's true; and God cultivated that goodness in him."
Lorraine's arms were creeping around Isobel in return, even as she asked one more question: "What, isn't there any free will for people?"
"Of course there is, honey. Eric and Cecilia and Quinn and my husband and I and others like us all _consent_ to God performing this miracle of new birth inside us! But the _power_ belongs to God; He just lets us carry a bit of it around in these earthen vessels. Lorraine, I know this is a lot to take in; but do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to convince your image in the mirror that you never did anything wrong? Or do you want to find an all-powerful love that will _forgive_ you for the wrong you did, while at the same time _healing_ the wounds wherever others did wrong to you?"
"Is, is, is that possible," the redhead stammered, "or are you just making this all up?"
Isobel kissed Lorraine's forehead. "Sweetie, you already _know_ that I'm not making it up; the Holy Spirit is already telling your heart that what He let you see shining out of me is real. The question is, do you want it for yourself? Do you want something better than sticking a thermometer in the mouth of your scrawny little self-esteem every day to see if it's healthy? Do you want a life, a power, an adventure like nothing you ever dreamed of?
"Do you want your son to be able to look at you and NOT have to struggle to stop himself from despising you? Do you want the impossible debt you owe to be paid? Your treachery to be pardoned? Jesus is standing at your door and knocking. He won't break in your door and grab you by the throat; He wants to enter your life by invitation, and take you by the hand. Please let Him! Please let Him! Jesus is waiting to give you a love so amazing, so divine, you won't have _time_ to quibble about your self-esteem, you'll be so busy learning to appreciate Him and care about others! What are you waiting for? What can you lose that was worth having? Oh, please, let Jesus into your life!"
Somewhere during that impassioned appeal for faith and repentance, a barrier was broken. Well might it be said that a dam burst, for Lorraine Sloane was drenching Isobel Stetzer's strong shoulder with more tears than she had shed at one time since childhood.
But by the time these tears were done flowing....Lorraine Sloane was a new creation in Christ.