Copperfox
Well-known member
That night, Lorraine sat up in her bed and whispered into the darkness:
"God, You know I've been careful to avoid letting Wilson take Your place in my emotions since You called him home. He was the agent of Your grace for me, but of course the grace is still Yours. I ask You not to take offense if I do speak directly to him for awhile. Please, Lord, open the comms link; no, I don't expect him to be allowed to answer me, but I want to have spoken to him.
"Wilson, darling, and Quinn if you're listening, I love you. I'll always love you, always, every minute. But Quinn, at least I do have one son remaining on Earth. I don't have any kind of _husband_ on Earth. Wilson, if you've been watching, or even just receiving some kind of situation briefings from my guardian angel, you know that I never made any effort to _find_ a new man to love. Even though you told me before they dragged you away on their lying fake charges that if you died you would want me to go on with my life, I felt no need. It wasn't that I felt marrying again would be cheating on you; I had already been forgiven for _actual_ cheating, and I knew the difference.
"Of course, there's no dating scene here in the Enclave so far, no nightclubs, hardly even many barn dances. We haven't been stuck in an artificial nineteenth century long enough yet for frontier social life to make its comeback. Between that, and my not being young anymore, it's been easy for me to focus my attention on Ransom and the Havens children. Then again, children themselves have a stake in the presence or absence of a father figure.
"It would be good for Ransom to have a Godly stepfather. Alipang does his best to be a role model for all the boys, and he IS a great role model, but he can't _belong_ to Ransom individually the way a good stepfather could. So that's an argument in favor of my marrying, if I can have a good man. But what are my own feelings, in view of how this affects me? I've been thinking about it a lot.
"Even now, I can't say that I strictly _need_ to have a new husband; but I know it's no sin for me to have one. And now, without any effort on my part, a decent man has actually come _specifically_ for the premeditated purpose of meeting me. It was a fine get-acquainted time; Bill told Al and Kim and me all about his salvation testimony and his walk with Jesus. And Wilson, he didn't flinch when I told him, near the end of the visit, how terribly I had wronged you. Bill knows the difference between excusing an unrepented sin, and accepting forgiveness for a sin you renounce. He sees me as cleansed by the Blood of Jesus!
"What's more, he doesn't mind my being older than he is. He seems really to mean what most people say and _don't_ mean: that what's inside people is what matters. If I don't flatter myself too much, I half-believe that he already has formed an intention of marrying me. But he has the brains not to rush things. No doubt he's praying hard about this. It must have crossed his mind that there's an emotional inequality between him and me, with me having a first husband to remember while he has no previous wife to remember. The Holy Spirit could enable him and me to cope with that issue, but it _would_ have to be faced.
"I believe this can work. I believe that Bill and I can be partners in service to Christ and to our loved ones--I guess that comes to MY loved ones becoming his loved ones also. But I'll wait for God to drop some hint of His will.
"Wilson, you're my first and greatest love. No one can take away what you were to me. If not for you and Quinn praying for me, I might have been eternally lost, _probably_ would have been. But I know, I know it from your own mouth on the last day I ever saw you, that I have your permission to marry again. So please pray for me, that the Spirit will guide me now, that my feelings will be brought into obedience to God. I wish I could expect that I would have a vision of you directly telling me what God's will is; but that kind of thing is mostly in movies...."
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
At once whole universes away, and less than a meter away, Wilson and Quinn Kramer were in fact witnessing Lorraine's soul-baring. Wilson turned to address God: "How about it, Lord? Are You planning to let me appear to her?"
"No, son," the Almighty replied. "Those occurrences have to remain the exception, lest mortals grow even more inclined than they already are to consult the dead _instead_ of consulting Me. But I promise you, I _shall_ make My will known to her in a way more than sufficiently clear and unmistakable. Remember, son, I love her too."
"God, You know I've been careful to avoid letting Wilson take Your place in my emotions since You called him home. He was the agent of Your grace for me, but of course the grace is still Yours. I ask You not to take offense if I do speak directly to him for awhile. Please, Lord, open the comms link; no, I don't expect him to be allowed to answer me, but I want to have spoken to him.
"Wilson, darling, and Quinn if you're listening, I love you. I'll always love you, always, every minute. But Quinn, at least I do have one son remaining on Earth. I don't have any kind of _husband_ on Earth. Wilson, if you've been watching, or even just receiving some kind of situation briefings from my guardian angel, you know that I never made any effort to _find_ a new man to love. Even though you told me before they dragged you away on their lying fake charges that if you died you would want me to go on with my life, I felt no need. It wasn't that I felt marrying again would be cheating on you; I had already been forgiven for _actual_ cheating, and I knew the difference.
"Of course, there's no dating scene here in the Enclave so far, no nightclubs, hardly even many barn dances. We haven't been stuck in an artificial nineteenth century long enough yet for frontier social life to make its comeback. Between that, and my not being young anymore, it's been easy for me to focus my attention on Ransom and the Havens children. Then again, children themselves have a stake in the presence or absence of a father figure.
"It would be good for Ransom to have a Godly stepfather. Alipang does his best to be a role model for all the boys, and he IS a great role model, but he can't _belong_ to Ransom individually the way a good stepfather could. So that's an argument in favor of my marrying, if I can have a good man. But what are my own feelings, in view of how this affects me? I've been thinking about it a lot.
"Even now, I can't say that I strictly _need_ to have a new husband; but I know it's no sin for me to have one. And now, without any effort on my part, a decent man has actually come _specifically_ for the premeditated purpose of meeting me. It was a fine get-acquainted time; Bill told Al and Kim and me all about his salvation testimony and his walk with Jesus. And Wilson, he didn't flinch when I told him, near the end of the visit, how terribly I had wronged you. Bill knows the difference between excusing an unrepented sin, and accepting forgiveness for a sin you renounce. He sees me as cleansed by the Blood of Jesus!
"What's more, he doesn't mind my being older than he is. He seems really to mean what most people say and _don't_ mean: that what's inside people is what matters. If I don't flatter myself too much, I half-believe that he already has formed an intention of marrying me. But he has the brains not to rush things. No doubt he's praying hard about this. It must have crossed his mind that there's an emotional inequality between him and me, with me having a first husband to remember while he has no previous wife to remember. The Holy Spirit could enable him and me to cope with that issue, but it _would_ have to be faced.
"I believe this can work. I believe that Bill and I can be partners in service to Christ and to our loved ones--I guess that comes to MY loved ones becoming his loved ones also. But I'll wait for God to drop some hint of His will.
"Wilson, you're my first and greatest love. No one can take away what you were to me. If not for you and Quinn praying for me, I might have been eternally lost, _probably_ would have been. But I know, I know it from your own mouth on the last day I ever saw you, that I have your permission to marry again. So please pray for me, that the Spirit will guide me now, that my feelings will be brought into obedience to God. I wish I could expect that I would have a vision of you directly telling me what God's will is; but that kind of thing is mostly in movies...."
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
At once whole universes away, and less than a meter away, Wilson and Quinn Kramer were in fact witnessing Lorraine's soul-baring. Wilson turned to address God: "How about it, Lord? Are You planning to let me appear to her?"
"No, son," the Almighty replied. "Those occurrences have to remain the exception, lest mortals grow even more inclined than they already are to consult the dead _instead_ of consulting Me. But I promise you, I _shall_ make My will known to her in a way more than sufficiently clear and unmistakable. Remember, son, I love her too."