The Insane Asylum

How much time do you have Olorinsesss, correcting it all? :D

Great, you leave for a few minutes to get some (more) coffee, and everyone is either hugging, bombing or throwing beds... *sigh* I should get paid more!
 
lieke said:
How much time do you have Olorinsesss, correcting it all? :D

Great, you leave for a few minutes to get some (more) coffee, and everyone is either hugging, bombing or throwing beds... *sigh* I should get paid more!
Click to expand...

yeeees!!! money fight!!! :D

*cuts random people's throats with credit cards*
 
Lieke, guess what I found... *flips through giant book* Ah yes, here it is.

Coffee Poisoning: First discovered in 1936, coffee poisoning results from massive intakes of coffee. This causes the blood to turn to coffee, resulting in a high state of hyperactivity. The first documented case of coffee poisoning was in a housewife who never seemed to get her work done. The first symptoms of coffee poisoning appeared on September 21, 1936 while she was cleaning her apartment on the 74th floor of the Rent Building. She disappeared and was not heard from again, but reconstructions of the event deduced that the large dents found in the walls of her apartment were, in fact, the result of her bouncing off the walls, and that the cause of her death was her eventual bounce through the window, which just happened to overlook Crater Lake in Oregon.
Another effect of coffee poisoning is a gradual thinning out and coiling of the bones in the legs, arms, and spine, accompanied by a notable increase in bone flexibility. This explains why coffee poisoning victims exhibit tendancies to bounce off walls and celings - they can't help it. Many injuries have resulted from when coffee poisoning victims have been startled, jumped, and hit the ceiling. Victims in the more advanced stages of coffee poisoning often must be tied down with bungie cords to prevent their bouncing away at the slightest tremor. In one coffee-poisoning ward, the patients developed a sport they called 'inverse bungie jumping' attempting to get as high as possible off the floor without breaking the bungie cords. If the bungie cords were broken, the result was instant disqualification. These rules worked out surprisingly well, mostly because disqualified players were never in any state to complain. The sport lasted a total of one week, and would have lasted less time, except for the fact that everyone who tried to break it up was incapacitated by laughter for long periods of time.
Recent studies have led to a controversy over whether coffee poisoning is truly 'poisoning'. A recent article, titled 'The Better Man: Is Sleep Really Necessary?' was published in the Scientific Duffer and put forward the opinion that less sleep led to an increase in productivity. Investigations into using concentrated coffee as rocket and industrial fuel have also been initiated. The Scientific Duffer published an article which hailed coffee as the answer to the energy crisis and the secret to interstellar travel.
The effects of overdeses of coffee on human beings, however, are still generally regarded as detrimental and should be avoided. Coffee poisoning rehab centers exist in 17 states, and many hospitals are adding coffee poisoning wards. Coffee manufacturers are also looking in to ways to prevent the symptoms of coffee poisoning without subtracting from the normal effects of coffee.

This report was compiled by the Honorable Sir Prof. Dipl. O. Rable-Lloonie, M.D., Ph.D., S.M.
 
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Olorinsesss, if i could shake your hand through these walls i would have! :D Loved it! Especially the 'The Better Man: Is Sleep Really Necessary?', that was hilarious (and so true). Though of course the whole coffee poisening isn´t proven yet.

So, in order to serve the medical science, and to find the purpose of all the needless deaths through this so-called ´coffee poisening´, i, Dr. Lieke, will offer my services, and act as a test person. I will give my life perhaps, but it will save many!

*drinks free state-provided coffee:D* Oh, i knew they would fall for it *sips coffee* aahhhh...
 
Olórin the Wise said:
Lieke, guess what I found... *flips through giant book* Ah yes, here it is.

Coffee Poisoning: First discovered in 1936, coffee poisoning results from massive intakes of coffee. This causes the blood to turn to coffee, resulting in a high state of hyperactivity. The first documented case of coffee poisoning was in a housewife who never seemed to get her work done. The first symptoms of coffee poisoning appeared on September 21, 1936 while she was cleaning her apartment on the 74th floor of the Rent Building. She disappeared and was not heard from again, but reconstructions of the event deduced that the large dents found in the walls of her apartment were, in fact, the result of her bouncing off the walls, and that the cause of her death was her eventual bounce through the window, which just happened to overlook Crater Lake in Oregon.
Another effect of coffee poisoning is a gradual thinning out and coiling of the bones in the legs, arms, and spine, accompanied by a notable increase in bone flexibility. This explains why coffee poisoning victims exhibit tendancies to bounce off walls and celings - they can't help it. Many injuries have resulted from when coffee poisoning victims have been startled, jumped, and hit the ceiling. Victims in the more advanced stages of coffee poisoning often must be tied down with bungie cords to prevent their bouncing away at the slightest tremor. In one coffee-poisoning ward, the patients developed a sport they called 'inverse bungie jumping' attempting to get as high as possible off the floor without breaking the bungie cords. If the bungie cords were broken, the result was instant disqualification. These rules worked out surprisingly well, mostly because disqualified players were never in any state to complain. The sport lasted a total of one week, and would have lasted less time, except for the fact that everyone who tried to break it up was incapacitated by laughter for long periods of time.
Recent studies have led to a controversy over whether coffee poisoning is truly 'poisoning'. A recent article, titled 'The Better Man: Is Sleep Really Necessary?' was published in the Scientific Duffer and put forward the opinion that less sleep led to an increase in productivity. Investigations into using concentrated coffee as rocket and industrial fuel have also been initiated. The Scientific Duffer published an article which hailed coffee as the answer to the energy crisis and the secret to interstellar travel.
The effects of overdeses of coffee on human beings, however, are still generally regarded as detrimental and should be avoided. Coffee poisoning rehab centers exist in 17 states, and many hospitals are adding coffee poisoning wards. Coffee manufacturers are also looking in to ways to prevent the symptoms of coffee poisoning without subtracting from the normal effects of coffee.

This report was compiled by the Honorable Sir Prof. Dipl. O. Rable-Lloonie, M.D., Ph.D., S.M.
Click to expand...

lol... The Scientific Duffer... *hands suddenly itch*

you will need some coffee now, olorin, for someone has eaten your car and you can't get far away very quickly from the asylum in case you need to... you might need to!
 
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