The Marketplace of Technique: Open to All

I have a question: what is 'direct' and 'indirect' dialogue? My brother sent my story Horsemasters to his English professor and the guy is really busy but said that he glanced over it and thought that I used too much 'direct' dialogue. I have no clue what he means.:eek:
 
I am not sure, but I think it's like this:

DIRECT DIALOGUE:

"Welcome back, Smithers," the office manager said, but with a certain insincere coldness that made me cringe. He used to tell me, "You are indispensable," but perhaps I am not.

INDIRECT DIALOGUE:

The office manager's welcome back had a certain insincere coldness that made me cringe. He used to treat me as if I were indispensable, but perhaps I am not...
 
A word about naming characters:


A fictional character obviously can be used to symbolize something; but remember that the character himself usually should not be AWARE OF his being symbolic. Thus, naming the character, as well as describing his or her attributes, needs to be done in a way that would not seem unnaturally forced in the eyes of someone INSIDE the imagined reality of the story.

First and last names can be chosen from categories, which allows grouping names to show something connecting groups of people. For instance:

BOTANICAL: Ash, Birch, Daisy, Flora, Forrest, Garland, Grass, Heather, Moss, Pine, Rice, Rose, Woods.

CLASSICAL: Alexander, Arthur, Caesar, Cleopatra, Hector, Helen, Lancelot, Merlin, Octavius, Roland, Ulysses.

GEOGRAPHICAL: Beach, Cliff, Dale, Fields, Hill, Lake, North, Ridge, Stone, West.
 
Then again you can name characters by choosing consonants at random, then vowels between at random.

You would need several names done this way, pick a few of the best, then tweak them.

Consider this. C V M D

Then this. A O U

It becomes CAVOMUD

Not very inspirational. That's why you have to do several.

M L R

U I

MULIR

Now that sounds like a name from Teutonic Mythology.

Softer consonents and short vowels help it to sound more feminine. Especially when the vowel goes first. In this case, an odd number of vowels with consonants to go between.

A O U I

M N R

AMONURI

See what I mean? Except that I would tweak it to make it AMONARI which sounds sweeter.
 
Of course I was writing in terms of stories placed more or less in the real world.

When it comes to phonetically fabricating totally made-up names for fantasy and sci-fi, something I've long been aware of is that such names almost always contain the letter N, or R, or both. Random examples: ANakiN, ARagoRN, BoRomiR, CoNaN, DeNethoR, FafhRd, FiNgolfiN, FRodo, MNemeNth, Obi-waN KeNobi, PaNamoN CReel, SaRumaN, ShaNNaRa.

I challenge someone to populate a whole fantasy story with names which do NOT contain any N's or R's.
 
FOR ANYONE WRITING CHRISTIAN WORSHIP SONGS

Please do NOT use any of the following pairs of words in rhyming:

Soul-whole

Divine-mine

God-trod

Sin-within

Me-free

Grace-place

Love-above


They've kinda been done...and done, and done, and done, and done.
 
These cliches in lyrics develop, in part, because there are certain words which _will_ recur in Christian songs--words like "love" and "grace." People don't seem to realize that these words don't always have to come at the _end_ of lines.

You can avoid a cliche like "He saved my soul / And made me whole" very easily--by just sliding the word "soul" away from the end of its phrase. Then you can create _fresh_ rhymes, like "My soul is saved, / My road is paved."
 
Some songs so grate on my nerves because they are nothing more than one or two phrases turned into a mantra-like phrase. "Emmanuel" is one. Once, gently taunting the person next to me on the pew (who knows me all too well) I sang these words to it...

Emannuel, Emmanuel
They call his name Emmanuel
E-M-M-A ... N-U-E-L
That's how we spell
Emmanuel

Problem with hymns and poetry from the Church is simply this. No matter how bad the drivel, it gets honourable mention because it's about God. If, however, it were about a cactus in the Sonora Desert and it were that bad, I doubt we'd all be doing the cactus song.

Which brings me to a valid point. Don't hold on to verse for sentimental reasons or out of honour for its subject matter. Have the backbone to divide poetry and lyrics into two distinct groups....no I don't mean poetry vs. lyrics, I mean GOOD P/L and BAD P/L. It's either well written or poorly written.

Now I shall go quickly dash off a poem about a cactus in the Sonora Desert.
 
One reason why so much drivel prevails in Christian songwriting is that evangelism has fallen into disfavor. Now someone will say "Huh?"--so I must explain.

If I am evangelizing the unconverted, I am facing an audience that needs to be won over, so I must give them a _reason_ to be won over. Therefore I have to offer some content. For instance:

"A couple thousand years ago
There lived a rabbi down in Israel,
Who said that He could save a soul from H-ll,
But Who He was, they didn't know.
Out in the wilderness a voice
Cried to the people, 'You are not secure
Until the Lamb of God has made you pure;
His is the power, yours the choice.'

"If you think you don't need Jesus Christ,
Brother, I suggest you stop and think twice;
Who else in creation
Can bring salvation?
Wisdom of the world can lead you astray;
Drugs will only take your senses away.
There's no other Savior,
Now, then or ever!

"Down at the Jordan every day
Old John the Baptist called them to repent,
And to believe in Him Whom God had sent;
Some listened, others turned away.
And even now, it's still the same:
Too many people groping in the night,
Who shut their eyes against the Living Light,
And shut their ears against His name.

"If you think you don't need Jesus Christ,
You are living in a fool's paradise;
And where will it get you?
Nowhere, I bet you!
But if you will let Him in at your door,
He will let you know what you're living for;
You'll wind up your story
Bound straight for glory!"

But if I write a worship song, it need not ever be heard by anyone but the already-converted. There is no need to transmit a message of substance, only to sustain an emotional mood. For that, I can get by with "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus."
 
I know what you mean about sustaining a mood. I admit that I am rather tired of what amounts to Christian mantras, and that I have a habit of singing one of the more well known and overused ones like so:

Emmanuel! Emmanuel!
They call his name Emmanuel!
E. M. M. A.
N. U. E. L.
That's how we spell
Emmanuel! :p

Fortunately it's impossible to overhear that I'm doing this....my little evil secret.
 
The Christian songwriter Randy Matthews once told me that he described many contemporary Christian songs as "One, Two, Three, Jesus!" That is, they always made a linear progression from stating mankind's problem to offering Jesus as the solution. Of course, it's not WRONG to do this!--but it would fight monotony if some composers and authors could vary the pattern. For instance, a song might be written in which the FIRST verse refers to the Lordship and Saviorship of Jesus, and then the rest of the song talks about particulars of human life.
 
Copperfox said:
The Christian songwriter Randy Matthews once told me that he described many contemporary Christian songs as "One, Two, Three, Jesus!" That is, they always made a linear progression from stating mankind's problem to offering Jesus as the solution. Of course, it's not WRONG to do this!--but it would fight monotony if some composers and authors could vary the pattern. For instance, a song might be written in which the FIRST verse refers to the Lordship and Saviorship of Jesus, and then the rest of the song talks about particulars of human life.
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Ugh...I've been on worship teams for years, and I'm still frustrated by the self-focused nature of so many contemporary worship songs. How many times can the word "I" be included in a song anyway? I was an English major, so I do tend to focus on lyrics. I wonder how many of us actually realize the words we're singing. I wish I knew where it was from, but I vaguely recall a C.S. Lewis quote about hymns being "second rate poetry set to third rate music." I wonder what his opinion would be about contemporary worship songs?

To me, worship music should focus less on our response and more on who God is and what he's done.

*steps down off of soapbox* :D
 
I understand your desire to focus on God; but has not God Himself done much of the revealing of His character through the lives of people? There can be songs mentioning the lives of people, without the narcissistic self-obsession which you rightly dislike. (Indeed, that may have been part of what you were getting at when you referred to songs telling what God has done.)

As a matter of fact, sometimes it is the very ones who claim to be focused on God that are preserving their narcissism unconfessed and intact. A praise-team singer may be singing nothing but "I love You Jesus, I praise You Jesus" over and over again...and yet be doing _nothing_ to get rid of his or her arrogance and selfishness in dealings with fellow mortals. The same hypocrite might become properly convicted by the Holy Spirit if hearing a song that was _about_ something besides praise-in-isolation. Of course, a therapeutic "All About Me" song would not do the job; but there are songs of exhortation that can. Have you ever listened to Keith Green?

There are believers who flatter themselves that they are extra-tight with God because every week they rattle off the same exact "prophetic" utterance, "Oh My children, I am your Father, so trust in Me and I will bless you"--but who are ignoring the practice of charity, truthfulness, modesty, courage, love and integrity on the streets and in the workplace. And how can they love God Whom they cannot see, if they do not love their brother whom they do see?
 
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Music To Write Epics By

When in my life I have had time to sit down and attempt writing heroic fantasy and science fiction, there are certain pieces of classical or quasi-classical music which have proven very helpful in setting the mood and getting my creativity stimulated. Among these are:

Wagner's "Tannhauser Overture"

Liszt's "Les Preludes"

Sibelius' "Symphony No. 2"

Prokofiev's "Aleksandr Nevsky Suite"

Shaun Davey's "The Brendan Voyage"

"Fingal's Cave" from "The Hebrides" by Mendelssohn

Any writers here who are open to music not found in Top-40 playlists are invited to check out these compositions.
 
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The soundtrack to Warner Brothers' "ROBIN HOOD" with Errol Flynn is amazingly heady stuff. It was re-recorded in modern stereo by Erich Korngold and is, quite simply, an amazing piece of work.

And, no kidding, if you can ever get the "Victory at Sea" soundtrack on CD, do so.

There are a couple of Borodin's POLOVETSIAN DANCES that are breathtaking. Yes, it's a Russian Opera, but these instrumental pieces were a bit of the Khan's bravado to impress his captive Persian prince. Think staggering military might and ruthlessness...yeah. Number 2 in the suite is amazingly romantic...and so if your hero gets the girl, end with Polovetsian Dance No. 2.

I could go on and on. I have, for instance, an album of tunes I drew up that are the "Soundtrack" for my stories of Byron on Wells.

John
 
The captive was not Persian, he was the Russian Prince Igor, title character of the opera of which those dances are only one segment. The Polovetsians, or Polovtsi, were a Turkic people who raided the early Russians. Prince Igor, going out against them, was defeated by force of greater numbers; but the Polovtsi ruler, aware of Igor's qualities that could have won the battle if numbers had been equal, hoped to persuade such an accomplished warrior to join his horde voluntarily. He didn't succeed; but those dance melodies did succeed in later becoming part of the Broadway musical "Kismet."

As for Erich Korngold: oh, yes! The Sea Hawk!!
 
Pardon me being an Igor-amus. I plead Igor-ance.

I should have remembered that since it was from Prince Igor, that was who they captured....ick!
 
Well, this gives me a chance to go on a tangent, still relevant for aspiring writers. The tangent is about the pitfalls in writing about foreign countries.

It is perfectly understandable, but often an impairment to our writing, that we try to see all cultures in our own terms. The reason this comes to my mind out of discussing "Prince Igor" is because of the English word "prince."

English speakers are accustomed to understanding the word "prince" as meaning "a son of a king, therefore a candidate to inherit the throne, but not yet the actual reigning monarch." The RUSSIAN title which we see translated as "prince" is "KNYAZ"--which, despite what the English letters make it look like, is spoken as all ONE syllable, rhyming roughly with "Oz." KNYAZ does not mean being the SON OF a ruler; it means you ARE the ruler. Thus it is closer to "king" than to "prince"--but still not quite the same, because early KNYAZ-es mostly ruled small city-states. When Russia began having Tsars, there were still KNYAZ-es, keeping that title, yet without thereby necessarily being in the line of imperial succession. For this reason, while KNYAZ gets rendered as "prince" when writing about early rulers like "Prince" Igor, books about later Imperial Russia often refer to KNYAZ-es of that period as "dukes."

If you don't look into the meaning of the title, you may miss understanding something about the actual social system to which it belonged. So, if writing about any real-world society which is not your own native one, I urge extensive research!
 
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Copperfox said:
When in my life I have had time to sit down and attempt writing heroic fantasy and science fiction, there are certain pieces of classical or quasi-classical music which have proven very helpful in setting the mood and getting my creativity stimulated. Among these are:

Wagner's "Tannhauser Overture"

Liszt's "Les Preludes"

Sibelius' "Symphony No. 2"

Prokofiev's "Aleksandr Nevsky Suite"

Shaun Davey's "The Brendan Voyage"

"Fingal's Cave" from "The Hebrides" by Mendelssohn

Any writers here who are open to music not found in Top-40 playlists are invited to check out these compositions.
Click to expand...

Holy canoli, CF. You listen to music to get your (for lack of a better phrase) "creative juices" flowing? Gosh darnit, we are getting more alike every day!! Scary, eh?
Haha, anyway, I do also listen to music while writing. I sugguest something that helps me out A LOT. When I've gotten my plan out for what I'm going to write, I look through my iPod and compile a playlist of songs that would fit into my writing (when I'm writing, say, a short story or novel). Kind of like a soundtrack in a way. That way, when I'm done writing a section, I'll listen to that song while I read through it. It works, try it!! And then if the song really fits, the scene in the book will play out to the beat of the song, etc.
 
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