The Red Book: a sestina

EveningStar said:
Sorry to admit that I have not yet caught on to what's happening by comparing what I see to the charts I'm shown. I'll have to look these things over a bit and maybe try one.

Or I might just get mean and start a thread on Sound Texts. ;)
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inkspot said:
I like both the poems in here, Primsongs' and CF's, but I am with John -- I don't understand the form yet. Still, I am amazed.

What were the "six words" in CF's?
And in Primsong's?

And what did they have to do ...?
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I didn't get it either at the beginning, and I was getting ready to assemble an "break Enigma machine" type of team. That is until I put those rows of numbers VERTICALLY, EXCEPT THE LAST THREE ROWS, as follows

The endings of each line in the first stanza (first row of numbers, now a column)
1 = covers
2 = forever
3 = turning
4 = read
5 = stories
6 = pages

Second stanza endings (second row of numbers, also a column)
6 = pages
1 = covers
5 = stories
2 = forever
4 = read
3 = turning

and so on,

the last three indicate middle and end of line:
(6 = pages, 2 = forever)
(1 = covers 4 = read)
(5 = stories, 3 = turning)

Got it! NO? AAARGGG!

Primsong said:

The patterns of word-repetitions are as follows:
(each row in the following diagram represents one stanza, and the numbers represent the last words in each line of the first stanza)

1 2 3 4 5 6
6 1 5 2 4 3
3 6 4 1 2 5
5 3 2 6 1 4
4 5 1 3 6 2
2 4 6 5 3 1
(6 2)
(1 4)
(5 3)

The Red Book: A Sestina

Within your ancient, leatherbound covers
Lies a story of a life with a tale for forever.
The written words whisper at the turning
As the heavy parchment is leafed through, read
With understanding or without, the stories
Of adventures, of living and dying within your pages.

Carefully prepared leaves, the finest quality pages
Were chosen with care to speak between the covers.
With every eye who follows your remembered stories,
Other minds will feel anew your painful saga forever.
Your story will not be forgotten as long as it is read,
Nor will the sacrifices of lives fade in the turning.

The autumn leaves of every season turning
Would seem a fitting tribute to the dry, old pages
But instead it seems to remain evergreen, ever-read
With the heartbeats and longing fears between covers
Captured, in spidery and flowing handwriting forever
Replaying something worth telling, a story of stories.

The Red Book you are called, a collection of stories
Gathered not only from desires and dreams, but a turning
Of the experiences of days and nights, forever
Captured in the confines of red leather-bound pages,
Into a river that pulls the reader along and covers
Their imagination, sweet and poignant to read.

The readers of your fine lettering will only wish to read
Again your tale, will dream of being a part of your stories,
Even though they know the authors are gone. Your covers
Hold all that is left of them and their days, the turning
Of the Ages is merciless, and Time's own pages
Will be turned by the hand of the sun and moon forever.

Still, the readers will dream. They will forever
Feel that longing to know more, to live what they read,
To breathe the air of the places written of in your pages
And to hold close the people written of in your stories.
There is a life that is remembered in the turning
Of the pages, and in the opening of the ancient leather covers.

The tale among the pages, a tale for all people forever;
The well-worn soft leather covers, showing it often read:
Thirsting for the truth in the stories, to history they are turning.

-
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Songs-of-Life, your keyword set was NOT too hard--for like Umbrella's, it lent itself to a Biblical theme.


There's a blessing from God some don't see as a gift:
The calling to be a sacrificial champion,
To follow God's will down an unlighted highway.
For Daniel, the highway was paved by Chaldeans,
Enslaving the Jews as if in celebration--
Yet compared to Assyrians, their action was charity.

The true God, at least, did not fail in His charity;
He granted young Daniel a spiritual gift.
Long before Belshazzar's ill-timed celebration,
The young Jew had come to be known as a champion
Of the God Whose plan had allowed the Chaldeans
To take Jews along the Babylon highway.

Once when Daniel was elsewhere along the highway,
His three fellow Jews refused the false charity
Of being "forgiven" by pagan Chaldeans
For not welcoming a false god as a gift.
But the true God intervened as their champion,
And unharmed in the flames, they had their celebration.

In time, there was cause for new celebration,
As the Persians and Medes came along the highway,
Under Cyrus the Great, God's Gentile champion.
He had at once the good sense and the charity
To grant a homecoming--a royal gift
To the children of Jews exiled by Chaldeans.

Darius, under Cyrus, now ruled the Chaldeans;
But bureaucrats held no glad celebration
When seeing the Jew, with his prophetic gift,
Being hailed and saluted along each highway.
They tried to destroy him; but once more, God's charity
Kept even the lions from harming His champion.

In visions as well Daniel was a champion.
While still in the former domain of Chaldeans,
He saw the Creator of faith, hope and charity,
Adored by the angels in their celebration.
From the throne, the Son of Man took to the highway,
To bring to humanity God's greatest gift.

Upheld by charity, the exiled faith-champion,
Who held fast God's gift in the land of Chaldeans,
Now joins the celebration beyond the highway.
 
That was completed in record time, I see. Beautiful..the words and images and stories draw me in and in and in. Must reread, reread, reread.

And to think that came from random things/words found on my desk:

gift (No clue -- can't remember -- have slept since then!)
a Champion shoe box
highway: from an address on an invitation to an upcoming wine-tasting
Chaldeans: from a handwritten message on a framed greeting card from a friend
celebration: from the pre-fab message on the same greeting card above
charity: word from a song titled "Where Charity and love abound" from a church program

:D

Beautiful, Copperfox. Well done.
 
OK, thanks for the lessons. I understand now one of the six words has to come at the end of each line.

For each stanza, the order in which those 6 words must appear (at the end of each line) changes.

What happens at the end, the 3-line stanza?
 
In the closing half-length stanza, each line contains TWO of the six keywords: The sixth and second, then the first and fourth, finally the fifth and third--like that oddly-named banking chain.
 
Copperfox said:
In the closing half-length stanza, each line contains TWO of the six keywords: The sixth and second, then the first and fourth, finally the fifth and third--like that oddly-named banking chain.
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OK, right, yah, Michael explained that, I just didn't get it.

My word, you all are talented to be able to put that all together so it makes sense!!!
 
Here, this time _I'll_ offer a "sestina challenge," to any individual or _team_ of persons who'd like to try it. And I'll make it easier, by providing MORE than six words; you choose from among them six that you think you can do something with. Remember that the word-distribution chart is available right on this thread. Here is my menu of words; choose any six---


AMBITION

BIBLE

CROWD

FAILURE

HONEST

HUNGER

MIGHTY

OPEN

PATIENCE

PRETENSE

RELIEF

SAFETY

SUFFER

TRUTH
 
Copperfox said:
Here, this time _I'll_ offer a "sestina challenge," to any individual or _team_ of persons who'd like to try it. And I'll make it easier, by providing MORE than six words; you choose from among them six that you think you can do something with. Remember that the word-distribution chart is available right on this thread. Here is my menu of words; choose any six---


AMBITION

BIBLE

CROWD

FAILURE

HONEST

HUNGER

MIGHTY

OPEN

PATIENCE

PRETENSE

RELIEF

SAFETY

SUFFER

TRUTH
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Don't look at me. I have the creative talent of steamed broccoli! :D
 
Okay, here goes. My 1st-ever sestina, indeed my first ever poem respecting form!

Yes, it will set us free, this truth.
Though some fear it, it ultimately brings blessed relief.
Yet how are we to remain open
When we sometimes fear the wrath of the Mighty?
In the end, it is God for which we hunger,
If we are honest.

Better it is to be honest
And to seek God's truth,
For this satisfies every possible hunger.
Heading down an enticingly wrong path, we wonder why we find no relief.
Yet GOD and his angels are more mighty
Than any deception, lies or dark seduction to which we open.

God, may our eyes be open.
Grant us courage to be honest
For you are all mighty.
Once we see, we cannot hide from truth
Which brings life and relief.
O let it be YOU whom we seek, YOU for whom we hunger.

You rained down manna from heaven to relieve hunger
After our ancestors were led out of Egypt, yet were still out in the open.
Yet they grumbled, wanted more or different forms of relief.
Moses told Aaron, "Tell the Israelites the LORD has heard their grumbling", to be honest.
They did not recognize the gift from the Lord, in truth.
Through the bottomless mercy of God, eating this manna for forty years, they learned: God is mighty.

No! I am human and I can be, of my own strength, mighty!
I can satisfy my own hunger!
It is over-rated, this truth
Of which you speak; you are being irresponsible to remain open,
Because people are not honest.
They only seek their own, selfish, immediate relief.

Lord, we seek your Holy relief.
Our desires are mighty
And sometimes cause us to hide behind fig leaves rather than be honest.
Despite our sometimes insatiable desire and hunger
For things of this world, have mercy on us and help us to be open
To experience your loving, saving truth.

If we be honest, God will bring relief.
In our weakness and truth, God will make us mighty.
God will more than satisfy our hunger if to His love we remain open.
 
SongsofLife said:
Okay, here goes. My 1st-ever sestina, indeed my first ever poem respecting form!

Yes, it will set us free, this truth.
Though some fear it, it ultimately brings blessed relief.
Yet how are we to remain open
When we sometimes fear the wrath of the Mighty?
In the end, it is God for which we hunger,
If we are honest.

Better it is to be honest
And to seek God's truth,
For this satisfies every possible hunger.
Heading down an enticingly wrong path, we wonder why we find no relief.
Yet GOD and his angels are more mighty
Than any deception, lies or dark seduction to which we open.

God, may our eyes be open.
Grant us courage to be honest
For you are all mighty.
Once we see, we cannot hide from truth
Which brings life and relief.
O let it be YOU whom we seek, YOU for whom we hunger.

You rained down manna from heaven to relieve hunger
After our ancestors were led out of Egypt, yet were still out in the open.
Yet they grumbled, wanted more or different forms of relief.
Moses told Aaron, "Tell the Israelites the LORD has heard their grumbling", to be honest.
They did not recognize the gift from the Lord, in truth.
Through the bottomless mercy of God, eating this manna for forty years, they learned: God is mighty.

No! I am human and I can be, of my own strength, mighty!
I can satisfy my own hunger!
It is over-rated, this truth
Of which you speak; you are being irresponsible to remain open,
Because people are not honest.
They only seek their own, selfish, immediate relief.

Lord, we seek your Holy relief.
Our desires are mighty
And sometimes cause us to hide behind fig leaves rather than be honest.
Despite our sometimes insatiable desire and hunger
For things of this world, have mercy on us and help us to be open
To experience your loving, saving truth.

If we be honest, God will bring relief.
In our weakness and truth, God will make us mighty.
God will more than satisfy our hunger if to His love we remain open.
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no offense to Uncle Joe and Primsong, but this one's my favorite. ^_^ great job, SoL!

EDIT: ok! so I finally found what I was looking for! I was looking for some words that could kind of continue the Bible theme if you all want to (I'm saying you all, because I have no writing sense, whatsoever). If you don't want to use a Bible theme you can just skip over this. ^_^

This is like what Uncle Joe did, more than just 6 words, so you can pick.

spirit
love
joy
peace
longsuffering
gentle(ness)*
goodness
faith
meek(ness)
temperance

*just in case the "-ness" doesn't work with what you have in mind.

for the brave one that accepts the challenge, I wish you the best! :p
 
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It is a lovely thing to see others taking up a form and running with it this way.
One other detail that I neglected to mention earlier is most modern forms of the sestina are decasyllabic - that is 10 beats per line. There is no requirement for the emphatic placement, however, so the rhythm varies more than it might with something that places iambs in a set pattern. If you keep the number of syllables the same in each line, it helps balance out that lack of 'pattern' in the reading.

I would greatly encourage the writers of these additional works to consider going back over them and seeing what you come up with in expanding/editing to 10 syllables per, you might like the result.
 
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Sestina?

EveningStar said:
Sorry to admit that I have not yet caught on to what's happening by comparing what I see to the charts I'm shown. I'll have to look these things over a bit and maybe try one.

Or I might just get mean and start a thread on Sound Texts. ;)
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Sestina sounds like a wonderful name for a Byron On Wells character, perhaps a little old grandmom mousie!
 
Primsong said:
... One other detail that I neglected to mention earlier is most modern forms of the sestina are decasyllabic - that is 10 beats per line. There is no requirement for the emphatic placement, however, so the rhythm varies more than it might with something that places iambs in a set pattern. If you keep the number of syllables the same in each line, it helps balance out that lack of 'pattern' in the reading.

I would greatly encourage the writers of these additional works to consider going back over them and seeing what you come up with in expanding/editing to 10 syllables per, you might like the result.
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Thank you, Primsong, for your refining instruction.

And thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement!

Here's my revision.

Yes, it will set us free, this searing truth.
Though some fear it, it brings blessed relief.
Yet just how are we to remain open
When we can’t fear the wrath of the Mighty?
Indeed, it is God for which we hunger,
God and not the world, If we are honest.

Better it is, always, to be honest,
And ever to seek the Light of God's truth,
For this satisfies our ev’ry hunger.
On the wrong path, we ask: “Why no relief?"
Yet God and his angels are more mighty
Than any lies to which we are open.

When they are closed, let our eyes be open.
And God, grant us courage to be honest,
For the freedom you give is all mighty.
Once we see, we cannot hide from the truth
That sets us free and brings life and relief.
YOU we seek, and for YOU, Lord, we hunger.

You rained down manna to relieve hunger;
Out of Egypt, anxious in the open,
Our Fathers grumbled, seeking more relief.
Moses told Aaron, "God hears fears, honest”.
To the gift from God they were blind, in truth.
The bottomless mercy of God -- mighty.

No! I am human and I am mighty!
Yes I can satisfy my own hunger!
I do not need the over-rated truth
Of which you speak; I will not be open.
Most people I know, they are not honest.
They seek selfish, on-the-spot relief.

Lord, we need and seek your Holy relief.
It is not us but YOU who are mighty.
We lied about fruit, we were not honest.
It is true, we ate, yet still we hunger.
Help us to see with our eyes wide open,
And to treasure your loving, saving truth.

If we be honest, God will bring relief.
In our weakness, we can be made mighty
If to our God’s love we remain open.
 
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I'm not changing anything already written; I'll just say that my early sestinas took poetic license.

If I write a new one, I'll do the ten-syllable thing.
 
Well done, Song! Nicely balanced without losing (I think) any of the imagery you were bringing out in the original 'free verse' variety. Good work, looking forward to seeing what you might do with some others as well.
 
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