(Sends a cyber-hug) Any kind of suffering is harder to endure when it seems to be meaningless. I do ask God simply to heal you altogether; but if He is unwilling to do that, I ask Him at least to let you see SOME kind of good purpose being accomplished from your situation.
I have many troubles, including my computer needing serious repair (I write this from a friend's computer); but I'm glad to hear from you AT ALL. Are you getting any better physically?
Well, if you have the energy, it still would be possible for you to join the Knights and Ladies roleplay actively. In order to understand it, I invite you to go in Writing Club and read my new story titled "Theocrites the Archer."