In your new story-post you say: "It was with cautionary trepidation and apprehension that waylaid Hobo Ben...." But this line fails to say WHO DOES the "waylaying."
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Where you said that heels "rescinded," I believe you meant to say "resounded."
In "Empty Grave," you're doing well at making a scene come alive, like when the uncle shows his habit of saying to "pay no mind." Now, start looking more closely at sentence construction. AVOID split infinitives; "to politely bow" should be "to bow politely."
Early in Post 17, "Please instruct" should be "Please conduct" or "Please admit."
The Biblical Daryoosh / Darius was the king-- more accurately, a viceroy acting for King Kurosh /Cyrus-- who got manipulated into introducing Daniel to the lions.
Your finally resuming "Darius" brought the July 5 post to my attention. It needs multiple corrections. For instance: There was nothing special about my backyard, aside from the fenced in area lot on opposite sides so to keep out wayward tramps or thieves off. You need a hyphen for "fenced in."
Near the end of your early-morning story-post, you say that a man's face "beheld" his sneering expression. A guy doesn't "behold" his own expression.
Good that you're back to writing. Near the end of your latest, "She gingerly covered her mouth gently" is one adverb too many. I say keep "gingerly," because that is a more memorable adverb.
Narrative remains very good; but "the devil is in the details." Middle of the latest post: "There was no hasty notion in his actions....."
Surely you meant to say, "--no hasty MOTION"?
A detail I didn't notice before: early in Post 7 of your story, you used the word "glib" as a noun. "Glib" is an adjective. You must have intended a different word. Maybe "--the gibe"?
And again, happy birthday.
Happy birthday!
Near the top of your latest installment, "rest her wary joints" should be "weary joints." Near the bottom, "his breathes slightly" needs to lose the second E in "breathes" and maybe also lose the S.
Thanks. How are things going for you?
I was looking at my profile and saw the last thing you wrote and just wanted to say I am finally a nursery practitioner! Its hard work from 8 am till 6 pm on my feet but I love it
Hi Simon, When you have a chance, please vote for favorite quotes for our 2015 Narnian Quote Calendar.
Note: The 18 quotes under consideration are at the bottom of the post, beneath the Tally.
Anything currently. I would just like to be employed. But ideally something with children.
Thats cool. glad to hear things are going well for you
Same old same old. Looking fora a job so I can move out, that kind of stuff.
I am very well thank you
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What have you been up too?
Hi, how are you? It's been a while. -
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