Ask a Telmarine!

How wonderful are Telmarines?

  • Total voters
    39
MagentaMagnificence said:
WHAT? Torment Duffers?
*backs away slowly*
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Don't worry. The less dufferish you act, the less I torment you. Also, make sure you're not confusing the word "torment" with the word "torture":eek:. There's a difference.:cool:

The Spanish Inquizition said:
What makes Telmarines so wonderful?
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Everything about us. Really. I don't have time to go into detail, but if you know me well enough, you should have a good knowledge of most of it anyway.:D
 
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Sopespian, you're basically a Duffer yourself. What you really mean is, "I like to torment other people, but if I did it in the fangirl threads, the mods would object. That annoying freedom of fangirl speech thing again."

Sopespian said:


I ran a fool-proof test: the Telmarine flea-sniffer test. We place a badger on a blank piece of paper. If the paper turns brown, the badger's feet are dirty. If it turns blueish-pink, the nearest water buffalo has fleas.
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Excuse me, Sushi is a mad buffalo, not a water buffalo. Stop bragging to hide your persistent aquaphobia. If Sushi was a water buffalo, you would be hiding in your castle, not murdering him as often as possible. As a result of his not being a water buffalo, I do not sing "Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo" to Sushi. We sing historically respected American music--"Home on the Range," "Yellow Rose of Texas," "Jesse James," etc.

By the way, I liked the Badger's poll correction so much that I voted for the only choice possible to a rational person. I'm assuming you know which that is....

I do have a question, however--aside from bragging, how do you Telmarines cope with your aquaphobia and hylephobia?
 
Glinbyrne said:
Sopespian, you're basically a Duffer yourself. What you really mean is, "I like to torment other people, but if I did it in the fangirl threads, the mods would object. That annoying freedom of fangirl speech thing again."

Excuse me, Sushi is a mad buffalo, not a water buffalo. Stop bragging to hide your persistent aquaphobia. If Sushi was a water buffalo, you would be hiding in your castle, not murdering him as often as possible. As a result of his not being a water buffalo, I do not sing "Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo" to Sushi. We sing historically respected American music--"Home on the Range," "Yellow Rose of Texas," "Jesse James," etc.

By the way, I liked the Badger's poll correction so much that I voted for the only choice possible to a rational person. I'm assuming you know which that is....

I do have a question, however--aside from bragging, how do you Telmarines cope with your aquaphobia and hylephobia?
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:mad: I. AM. NOT. A. DUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

What? He's not a water buffalo? You're kidding! All this time... Although I must admit that I'd personally rather be a water buffalo than a mad buffalo. But that's just me.;) In reality, I was complimenting him - ameliorating his condition.

You're right, we Telmarines are not big fans of the water. If you're interested in the reasons behind that, read this.

A rational person would understand that people who daily apply deodorant, brush their teeth, and comb their hair (like we Telmarines do) are not Hygienically Challenged. It is unfortunate that people do not realize the superior cleanliness of the Telmarine body.

In relation to your question, we actually have no hylephobia. Our fear of the Narnian woods resulted from their fearful proximity to the sea. We love forests that aren't by the sea. We deal with our aquaphobia by staying away from the water and by looking at Mr. Green. :D
 
Sopespian said:


Of course! Granted, however, you're tied with all the others. :p (Garth might be mad at me if we were "exclusive". ;))
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XD XD

I'll leave that as is...


What should I include in my epic banner that has everything I should always have in my signature?
 
Gondorgal said:
XD XD

I'll leave that as is...


What should I include in my epic banner that has everything I should always have in my signature?
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Definitely a picture of a Telmarine lord, but not Miraz. Or you could have Mr. Green... :D. Seriously, though, you could have my favorite quote: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot
 
Sopespian said:


Definitely a picture of a Telmarine lord, but not Miraz. Or you could have Mr. Green... :D. Seriously, though, you could have my favorite quote: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot
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Ooh, Mr. Green is a good idea, I love Mr. Green. :D

I know that quote, this brings up the question:

Have you read any books by Eric and Leslie Ludy? Because that's where I read that quote
 
GoodHygieneGirl said:
Ooh, Mr. Green is a good idea, I love Mr. Green. :D

I know that quote, this brings up the question:

Have you read any books by Eric and Leslie Ludy? Because that's where I read that quote
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No, actually, I haven't. But I have read the story of Jim Elliot, and it's quite interesting.

Not as interesting, however, as the story of Mr. Green's trip to Ecuador. :D
 
Did you notice D's question?

Can I ask multiple questions?

edit: I see you did see it... ;)
 
Ooh! I had a tube of Auquafresh once, before my mom realized I was allergic! It's the kind that had all the swirly stripes in the tube! :D

Do you ever swallow toothpaste?
 
You missed my question again! :eek:

How could you do that to me?! *shakes head sadly* :p

EDIT: Never mind. :D

When you eat blueberries, does your tongue turn blue?
 
What if I ask multiple questions that have the same answer, like that one?

Do you know what you're getting into with this? I can get like 20+ questions in without even thinking that hard...
 
Sopespian said:


:mad: I. AM. NOT. A. DUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:
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I'm assuming that's why you've started so many Duffer threads....


You're right, we Telmarines are not big fans of the water. If you're interested in the reasons behind that, read this.
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Excuses, excuses. If I recall, a certain person named Clive Staples noted that this particular aquaphobia was the result of a memory that a particular lion always came from beyond the sea. The Telmarine aquaphobic condition has nothing to do with bad lodgings, or children with shovels, or sand-spritzed coffee.

In relation to your question, we actually have no hylephobia. Our fear of the Narnian woods resulted from their fearful proximity to the sea. We love forests that aren't by the sea. We deal with our aquaphobia by staying away from the water and by looking at Mr. Green. :D
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Really. Which is why I recall certain book Telmarines screaming, "The wood! The wood! The end of the world!" and certain movie Telmarines having to be called "women" and be threatened with imprisonment before they entered woods that were not particularly near the sea.

Let's be honest about our fears. Talking about them can help us overcome them. Now, Sopespian. Let's begin our therapy session. First, you need to list five positive things about the sea. Our next therapy session will focus on your attitude toward the forest, but for now, we will deal with your aquaphobia. Five good things about the water--only five. Here's your pencil and a sheet of paper. Go ahead. You will feel better soon.
 
Caspian: Why is Glen acting like Doc Byrne?
Dorthy: Why does Miraz wear a funny mask when he duels Peter?
Frodo: If you Telmarines are so clean then why don't you smell good?
Dorthy: What toture devices do you use?
Caspian: How do you make your catapults?
Frodo: What's 65759305703750375048930577385757485857858490999999999999 times 5375837543847q80758678457385 equal?
Dorthy: What's the square root of Pie? (MPLF)
Caspian: How do you make pie? (MPLF)
Frodo: Who was the founder of Telmar?
Caspian: Why does Mewsie have a pink eraser on her desk?
Dorthy: Why does Mewsie have a desk?
Frodo: Can you find the letter in my earlier question?
Caspian: What would happen if I threw a tomato at your face?
Dorthy: What's the one thing Glen is good for? (this one has a right/wrong answer)
 
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You're not really going to do as Dr. Byrne says, are you?

Why did God invent mosquitoes?

How would I survive without spell check?

Why did the Telmarines invade Narnia? It wasn't a nice thing to do.
 
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