Telmarines are part talking cat, which is why they are afraid of the water. It also explains why Caspian always landed on his feet.
Ask a Telmarine!
- Thread starter Sopespian
- Start date
Is my signature sufficiently epic now?
To Mewsie: Glen is not acting like Dr. Byrne. Dr. Byrne doesn't believe Telmarines exist, so he definitely would not offer them therapy. And Glen doesn't think that anyone really needs therapy except for Telmarines. Which would preclude cats, so you can leave the tomato cannon at home.
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Question #1: Do Telmarines (or their spouses) tamper with polls?
Question #2: Do Telmarines assault enemy strongholds amphibiously?
Question #2: Do Telmarines assault enemy strongholds amphibiously?
narnia ice cream
New member
I have a question:
Does Talmarines like ice cream?
Does Talmarines like ice cream?
Liz
New member
The poll is changed again, why! Where is that hygienic option? I found it rather appropriate and funny.
I don't know quite what to think of telmarines! They're confusing. Except Caspian the X. I like him very, very, very, veeeeeery much!
So tell us, what do Telmarines really think of Narnians?
And have you built more ships since the Dawn Treader?
I don't know quite what to think of telmarines! They're confusing. Except Caspian the X. I like him very, very, very, veeeeeery much!
So tell us, what do Telmarines really think of Narnians?
And have you built more ships since the Dawn Treader?
Sopespian
Well-known member
You missed my question again!
How could you do that to me?! *shakes head sadly*
EDIT: Never mind.
When you eat blueberries, does your tongue turn blue?
I don't know. I don't look at my tongue very often.
1. You regret it.
2. Yes. It's depressing.
I answer questions from humans; not cats. Keep that in mind.
Never! That would be preposterous!
To populate Minnesota, since humans don't.
You wouldn't spell.
We didn't know that big Lion would come and attack us. We didn't know any better!
No, I don't see Mr. Green.
P.S. "Epic" is SO totally, like, overused, dude.
No, we blackmail mods to do it for us. Actually, we politely petition.
Depending on your definition of "polite" and "petition".
No, we do everything by land. Or air - On the wings of a phoenix!
Yes! Especially pistachio!I have a question:
Does Telmarines like ice cream?
The poll is changed again, why! Where is that hygienic option? I found it rather appropriate and funny.
I don't know quite what to think of telmarines! They're confusing. Except Caspian the X. I like him very, very, very, veeeeeery much!
So tell us, what do Telmarines really think of Narnians?
And have you built more ships since the Dawn Treader?
1. It need not be mentioned now. We are very hygienic! Everyone should understand that!
2. We have great respect for the power of their trees.
3. No, we still have the fear of water. It's more genetic now than really acquired through one's life.
Keep the questions coming! This is fun! But only 914 at a time.
Mozart the Meerkitten
Well-known member
They have namesakes, keep THAT in mind.
Caspian: Why is Glen acting like Doc Byrne?
Dorothy: Why does Miraz wear a funny mask when he duels Peter?
Frodo: If you Telmarines are so clean then why don't you smell good?
Dorthy: What toture devices do you use?
Caspian: How do you make your catapults?
Frodo: What's 65759305703750375048930577385757485857858490999999 999999 times 5375837543847q80758678457385 equal?
Dorothy: What's the square root of Pie? (MPLF)
Caspian: How do you make pie? (MPLF)
Frodo: Who was the founder of Telmar?
Caspian: Why does Mewsie have a pink eraser on her desk?
Dorothy: Why does Mewsie have a desk?
Frodo: Can you find the letter in my earlier question?
Caspian: What would happen if I threw a tomato at your face?
Dorothy: What's the one thing Glen is good for? (this one has a right/wrong answer)
Dorthy: *laughs* Telmarines FALE!
Sopespian
Well-known member
They have namesakes, keep THAT in mind.
Caspian: Why is Glen acting like Doc Byrne?
Dorothy: Why does Miraz wear a funny mask when he duels Peter?
Frodo: If you Telmarines are so clean then why don't you smell good?
Dorthy: What torture devices do you use?
Caspian: How do you make your catapults?
Frodo: What's 65759305703750375048930577385757485857858490999999 999999 times 5375837543847q80758678457385 equal?
Dorothy: What's the square root of Pie? (MPLF)
Caspian: How do you make pie? (MPLF)
Frodo: Who was the founder of Telmar?
Caspian: Why does Mewsie have a pink eraser on her desk?
Dorothy: Why does Mewsie have a desk?
Frodo: Can you find the letter in my earlier question?
Caspian: What would happen if I threw a tomato at your face?
Dorothy: What's the one thing Glen is good for? (this one has a right/wrong answer)
Dorthy: *laughs* Telmarines FALE!
I don't know. Ask her.
He's kinda weird. That's why I killed him. (Actually, I killed him 'cause I wanted the throne, but...)
Have you ever SMELLED a Telmarine? We smell great! Especially with Eau de Telmarberry parfum. (Actually, only our womenfolk use that.)
All kinds. We're very innovative.
With wood. That we hew down ourselves. That should defy our hylephobia.
I don't know. My calculator won't fit that many digits.
Pies are circular. They don't have square roots.
Very carefully.
I'm not sure. We had revisionist historians during Miraz's period. No one is certain about much anymore.
'Cause she wants to erase you!
'Cause she's studious!
No.
I would eat it. I love tomatoes!
Loving mad buffaloes. Yeah, it's not the most useful talent. Talk to her about that.
Once and for all! It's F-A-I-L!!!! Not F-A-L-E!!!!!
Mozart the Meerkitten
Well-known member
He didn't fit the color scheme.
Yeah, it is...
Were you involved in the scheme that put me in a dungeon?
Did you know that dungeons have good air conditioning?
Does my dungeon have a dragon in it?
Mozart the Meerkitten
Well-known member
Caspian: Why am I asking the Telmarines questions if I am one?
Caspian: Now, /I/ can answer that!
Dorothy: Why can't Dorthy spell?
Dorthy: Hey! I can too!
Frodo: What would you do if you found the Ring?
Caspian: Now, /I/ can answer that!
Dorothy: Why can't Dorthy spell?
Dorthy: Hey! I can too!
Frodo: What would you do if you found the Ring?
Sopespian
Well-known member
Dorthy: Fale Fale Fale Fale Fale Fale Fale Fale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May I suggest a dictionary?
1. No. I know nothing of that.
2. Nah, we Telmarines don't use dungeons with air conditioning except in the winter. And we have automatic heat in the summer.
3. Yes. Be very careful and don't forget your fireproof suit.
1. I don't know. Ask yourself!
2. Cause she doesn't have a dictionary!
3. Give it to my future wife when I find her!
Would you condemn your future wife to having to deal with the one ring?
Would you carry said future wife up Mount Doom so she could dispose of it?
Would you then provide her with another ring?
Would you carry said future wife up Mount Doom so she could dispose of it?
Would you then provide her with another ring?
The Spanish Inquisition
New member
Is Rebecca Black real?
Mozart the Meerkitten
Well-known member
Will you wish me a happy birthday?
Will you give me a dragon?
Do you HAVE a dragon?
Why is there a pink babble sitting next to me?
Why are planes cold?
Why is it so hot?
Why is there a pearl suspended next to me?
What's 10 times 47 plus 89?
Why am I so easily amewsed?
Dorthy: You tell me, you're the one answering the questions, not asking them!
Will you give me a dragon?
Do you HAVE a dragon?
Why is there a pink babble sitting next to me?
Why are planes cold?
Why is it so hot?
Why is there a pearl suspended next to me?
What's 10 times 47 plus 89?
Why am I so easily amewsed?
Dorthy: You tell me, you're the one answering the questions, not asking them!
Zella
New member
3. Give it to my future wife when I find her!
I'm glad my family isn't around. It would have been hard to explain my hysterical laughter when I read that.
Why haven't my balloons deflated yet? I've had them for over a month.
Why can I never paint my nails without getting nail polish on my fingers?
Are you still friends with Glozelle? How about Caspian? How is your relationship with him?
Dearest Sopespian,
I am penning this letter to you, as you may have been prejudiced with certain unfortunate notions about me and my purposes upon this forum. Mozart in particular has a tendency to bear unhealthful grudges, and these grudges are made visible through her sometimes abusive language toward me. I, however, wish to correct any misunderstandings that may arise between us: therefore, allow me to introduce myself.
I am G. Byrne, Ph.D., or, as known upon this forum, Dr. Byrne. My expertise ranges from psychology to medicine. I, like you, do not talk to cats; or at least I do not do so in official news releases. Your hylephobia and aquaphobia are understandable, and rather healthful, actually. I, too, dislike woods (until they have been used in an efficient manner, i.e., turned into firewood, bridges, homes for Telmarines and psychiatrists, etc.). The sea has been the subject of much unhealthful romanticism since the foolish scribing of The Odyssey, and I, like you, view such romanticism with distaste.
Glen may wish to psychoanalyze you, but I assure you, I do not. Glen has subjected herself to many foolish notions contracted from overlong exposure to Cliffs and Cheese. Her narrowminded buffalo has attempted to gore me on numerous occasions due to my honest critiques of G.K. Chesterton: pray destroy him, if you can. Unfortunately, the Shiny Can (which does not exist) has bequeathed upon said buffalo the power of regeneration (which also does not exist, as I am an empiricist). I know that your battle is long and difficult, but I wish to give you encouragement. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is probably a train, but that fact is inconsequential. Let us be positive. Let us think of good things: sweater vests, air conditioning, dungeons, etc.
I admire your faithfulness to modernity and desire your continued success. I am, and shall forever remain,
Your ardent admirer,
Dr. Byrne
I am penning this letter to you, as you may have been prejudiced with certain unfortunate notions about me and my purposes upon this forum. Mozart in particular has a tendency to bear unhealthful grudges, and these grudges are made visible through her sometimes abusive language toward me. I, however, wish to correct any misunderstandings that may arise between us: therefore, allow me to introduce myself.
I am G. Byrne, Ph.D., or, as known upon this forum, Dr. Byrne. My expertise ranges from psychology to medicine. I, like you, do not talk to cats; or at least I do not do so in official news releases. Your hylephobia and aquaphobia are understandable, and rather healthful, actually. I, too, dislike woods (until they have been used in an efficient manner, i.e., turned into firewood, bridges, homes for Telmarines and psychiatrists, etc.). The sea has been the subject of much unhealthful romanticism since the foolish scribing of The Odyssey, and I, like you, view such romanticism with distaste.
Glen may wish to psychoanalyze you, but I assure you, I do not. Glen has subjected herself to many foolish notions contracted from overlong exposure to Cliffs and Cheese. Her narrowminded buffalo has attempted to gore me on numerous occasions due to my honest critiques of G.K. Chesterton: pray destroy him, if you can. Unfortunately, the Shiny Can (which does not exist) has bequeathed upon said buffalo the power of regeneration (which also does not exist, as I am an empiricist). I know that your battle is long and difficult, but I wish to give you encouragement. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is probably a train, but that fact is inconsequential. Let us be positive. Let us think of good things: sweater vests, air conditioning, dungeons, etc.
I admire your faithfulness to modernity and desire your continued success. I am, and shall forever remain,
Your ardent admirer,
Dr. Byrne
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Do Telmarines cry while watching movies?
Sopespian
Well-known member
If it were a problem for her, I'd pawn that one and get her another one!
Mount Doom! Where's that? Somewhere in CrazyDufferistan? Why, yes... here it is on the map! Strangely close to Antarctica...
I don't know what you're talking about...
Sadly, yes.
Yes
No
Yes
I don't know
'Cause they're so high
'Cause it's summer
It's inside a transparent oyster
559
'Cause amusement in Greek means "not thinking".
I'm glad my family isn't around. It would have been hard to explain my hysterical laughter when I read that.
Why haven't my balloons deflated yet? I've had them for over a month.
Why can I never paint my nails without getting nail polish on my fingers?
Are you still friends with Glozelle? How about Caspian? How is your relationship with him?
They're extra long-lasting!
'Cause that's life. Suck it up.
Yes, with Glozelle. Caspian... doesn't know I'm still alive.
Movies, no. Country music videos, yes. I'll give you two I've cried on: "This Ain't Nothin'" and "Raymond".