Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris left for college and told his dad, "Well, Pop, now you'll have to be the man of the family..."
 
The jokes I share above are, to the best of my knowledge, original to me. Here, though, comes something I can't take credit for.

Just twenty minutes after posting my previous, Wood Nymph having retired to her room, I went on YouTube again-- to find that a channel called "Entertaining A.I." did a sequence of scenes where Chuck Norris mopped up the floor with evil forces from Star Wars. For instance, he CAUGHT Palpatine's Force lightning in his bare hand. I don't often REALLY laugh, but I laughed at this!
 
This is a Carlos Ray Norris joke....no, really, he's Carlos Ray Norris....

He got tired of PI acting irrational and terminated it. (That's a math joke, son!) Talk about putting it in its decimal place!
 
The sun wears Chuck Norris glasses.

What's more, he can start fires by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Once an ultra-toxic Gabon viper bit Chuck Norris. And died from it.
 
Chuck Norris approached Saint Peter at the heavenly gates. "Good news, Pete!" he said, "I'll let you stay!"
 
Having died this weekend, and having first paid joyful worship to God, Chuck Norris was greeted by the Apostles and by Jesus' mother. Then he proceeded to give his autograph to lesser heroes like Noah, Rebekah, Moses, Rahab, Isaiah, Daniel, Esther, Judas Maccabeus, Confucius, King Arthur, Henry the Fifth, Joan of Arc, George Washington, Davy Crockett, Cochise of the Apache, Frederick Douglas, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Audie Murphy, and Maureen O'Hara.
 
Chuck Norris doesn't experience the Beatific Vision. The Beatific Vision experiences Chuck Norris.
 
Jesus called Chuck aside and whispered: "The Father knew what He was doing when He _didn't_ ordain you to have your earthly life at the same time as Mine. If you'd been there to become an Apostle, Peter, James and the rest would have felt hopelessly inferior to you."
 
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