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~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
He chuckled but it quickly vanished. She could see right into him it seemed the one person who actually ever tried, “No. I never talk about it. It’s sort of…a black mark on my family. No I haven’t.” he looked down at his shoes.


Pulling her closer he turned to face her, “ I don’t deserve you.” He said with a smile on his face, “you are way too good for me and yet here you are. It’s like a dream.” He lifted her chin and kissed her, “I never want it to end.”
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"A black mark? Ceagin, people die all the time. And there's nothing you can do about it, except try to handle it in a positive way. And even though it might seem 'whimpy' or 'girly', crying is sometimes the best way. And talking about it helps you resolve certain things." She paused. "Listen, I know it can't be easy, but just consider what I've said. I can't force you to tell me anything else, or do anything else. Just know you're not as alone as you feel." Sarah forced a smile.
 
“Nothing I could do about it?” he shook his head, “that is the problem, Sarah, I had everything to do with it. If I hadn’t raced that night she would still be alive!” he was angry and hurting. The tears welled up in his eyes but he tried to fight them, “ It was my fault, try and tell me how I can live with that?” the dam broke and the tears spilt out onto his face. “you don’t know the first thing about having your parents look at you when you are home on the Holidays and know that they are thinking about how they miss someone you killed. It was an accident but it still was my fault and every time I go back I am reminded of that. It hurts Sarah!”
oxford girl said:
Adina smiled, she put her arms around his neck, "no Nick, I dont deserve you." she smiled a little and kissed him.
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“well then this is something we will have to agree to disagree on.” He smiled and kissed her again, “You must have been sent by God.”
 
~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
“Nothing I could do about it?” he shook his head, “that is the problem, Sarah, I had everything to do with it. If I hadn’t raced that night she would still be alive!” he was angry and hurting. The tears welled up in his eyes but he tried to fight them, “ It was my fault, try and tell me how I can live with that?” the dam broke and the tears spilt out onto his face. “you don’t know the first thing about having your parents look at you when you are home on the Holidays and know that they are thinking about how they miss someone you killed. It was an accident but it still was my fault and every time I go back I am reminded of that. It hurts Sarah!”

“well then this is something we will have to agree to disagree on.” He smiled and kissed her again, “You must have been sent by God.”
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Adina smiled, "I think you're going to have to agree to disagree on that too." She looked up at him, "you're the first person that's actualy been nice to me scine my parents died Nick, I needed that," she kissed him again, "I need you." She waited for his reaction, she didn't know what he would say.
 
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~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
“Nothing I could do about it?” he shook his head, “that is the problem, Sarah, I had everything to do with it. If I hadn’t raced that night she would still be alive!” he was angry and hurting. The tears welled up in his eyes but he tried to fight them, “ It was my fault, try and tell me how I can live with that?” the dam broke and the tears spilt out onto his face. “you don’t know the first thing about having your parents look at you when you are home on the Holidays and know that they are thinking about how they miss someone you killed. It was an accident but it still was my fault and every time I go back I am reminded of that. It hurts Sarah!”

“well then this is something we will have to agree to disagree on.” He smiled and kissed her again, “You must have been sent by God.”
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Sarah was quiet for a moment. "Ceagin..." She paused. "You're right, I don't know anything about that. But there is one way to live with it. You have to forgive yourself." She didn't know what else to say.
 
“Forgive myself?” he smiled a sort of astonished smille, “Everyday I wake up and I realize it is one more day that I am going to have to live with the fact that my sister is dead and I was responsible for that.” He paused for a second, “I guess I just can’t bring myself to forgiveness when what I did effected so many people.” There was so much more to the story, so many details that he had left out, “I am so used to the pain Sarah I don’t’ know if I could let go of it.” It sounded insane but it was the truth.
oxford girl said:
Adina smiled, "I think you're going to have to agree to disagree on that too." She looked up at him, "you're the first person that's actualy been nice to me scine my parents died Nick, I needed that," she kissed him again, "I need you." She waited for his reaction, she didn't know what he would say.
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He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her taking a few steps they were up against the car. After a minute or so he pulled arms length away realizing he may have pushed the comfort zone, “I’m sorry. He whispered and then looked into her eyes, “I need you too.”
 
~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
“Forgive myself?” he smiled a sort of astonished smille, “Everyday I wake up and I realize it is one more day that I am going to have to live with the fact that my sister is dead and I was responsible for that.” He paused for a second, “I guess I just can’t bring myself to forgiveness when what I did effected so many people.” There was so much more to the story, so many details that he had left out, “I am so used to the pain Sarah I don’t’ know if I could let go of it.” It sounded insane but it was the truth.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her taking a few steps they were up against the car. After a minute or so he pulled arms length away realizing he may have pushed the comfort zone, “I’m sorry. He whispered and then looked into her eyes, “I need you too.”
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"I suppose that makes sense. Forgiveness takes time. And one day, maybe both you and Chez could let go. I think that's what your sister would want."
 
She looked back into his eyes and smiled. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what. "I better go," she said, even though she didn't want to.
 
“yah, probably is a good idea.” He didn’t’ want to take a risk, he didn’t want to lose everything, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled and opened the door for her.

Spare Oomian said:
"I suppose that makes sense. Forgiveness takes time. And one day, maybe both you and Chez could let go. I think that's what your sister would want."
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“Time can’t heal all wounds. My sister died four years ago.” Again the tears ran down his cheeks, “you guys would have gotten along really well.” He said trying not to show that he was crying. It helped to talk about it but it hurt too.
 
~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
“yah, probably is a good idea.” He didn’t’ want to take a risk, he didn’t want to lose everything, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled and opened the door for her.



“Time can’t heal all wounds. My sister died four years ago.” Again the tears ran down his cheeks, “you guys would have gotten along really well.” He said trying not to show that he was crying. It helped to talk about it but it hurt too.
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She smiled and got in her car, "yeah, good night." She started her car.
 
Ceagin nodded. He thought back on the times he had had with her, “I didn’t spend enough time with her. I was always with friends. I wish I could have told her how much I really loved her.” He stopped and closed his eyes, “I don’t’ understand why it couldn’t have been me instead. I was the one who deserved to die.”

Nick smiled and stepped away from the car. He loved her more than she could ever know.
 
Adina waved bye and headed turds her house. She replayed the day in her mind, it had been wonderful, he loved her. She smiled as she drove.
 
"Ceagin, don't say that! Nobody deserves to die. Not your sister, and definately not you." She stopped. Sarah realized she snapped, and took a breathe. "It was an accident. It could have been avoided, but most accidents can. You made a mistake, that's all. Everyone makes them, and there's nothing you can do about it."
 
Adina got home, she jumped on her bed and sighed happily. She looked at the picture of her parents, "I wish you were still here, so you could meet Nick," she said quietly. She laid donw and went to sleep.
 
Ok this may be a litttle like and executive desision and if so then tell me and I will take the post down but I was thinking we could bump it a few days ahead, like....4 days later
 
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