Lionheart: The Epic of the Narnian Knight

Knight of Narnia said:
Again, I would like to thank everyone for your kind comments. It's really encouraging to see everyone's comments on here. Balbanes' adventures will resume tonight, and Aranar's tale will begin shortly thereafter. I am going to try and keep both stories running at the same time, since they take place at the same time.
Click to expand...

Yay, awesome!:D I can't wait.
 
Chapter 8
Shadows Grow Long in the Light​


"Cornelius you say?" said Aranar in a rather surprised manner "I've heard that name recently. There is a small village to the southwest of here where I stop in every so often. Everytime I stop in, this older man with a long beard always comes to greet me and talk with me about my time with the wolves. He always says that he longs to see the day when he too can meet a talking animal. That has to be the Cornelius you are looking for."

"Yes, I am certain that is him. Can you show us the way?" replied Balbanes

"Certainly I can. In fact, if you don't mind, I'll accompany you until you return to Telmar." said Aranar

"That would be most welcome my old friend" said Balbanes "But I do not know how we can travel, since my poor horse can only carry two people and I would not burden him with a third."

Aranar let out a deep laugh "Oh that's right, I forget that you still have to use horses to get around. I guess it has been a while since I left Telmar. I have no need for horses anymore, the wolf pack that I live with keeps me in shape. I can easily keep up with you and your horse."

Aranar tied his bow down tightly onto his back and waved for Balbanes to follow him. Balbanes gathered up all of their supplies and helped Geldja back onto the horse. As soon as he had climbed onto the horse, Aranar took off running at such a speed that you could barely even see him. Balbanes rode off swiftly and had soon caught up with Aranar.

They traveled on for about two hours or so when Balbanes noticed a small cloud of smoke rising in front of them.

"Is this the village?" Balbanes asked

"Yes. You can see the smoke from the market rising above the trees." Aranar replied

Balbanes slowed his horse to a trot and rode into the village. He saw several people around who were busily working at their trades. He saw blacksmiths and butchers, bakers and farmers. It seemed to be a simple, quiet town. And indeed it was. After they had walked around town for a while, Balbanes heard a familiar voice cry out

"Aranar! How good to see you again. I see you brought actual people with you this time. Are these friends of yours?" said the stocky man with a white beard

"Cornelius, it's good to see you again. This is Balbanes, he is a knight from Telmar, and his companion is Geldja, an Archenlander." said Aranar in a cheerful voice

"Balbanes?! Is that you? I haven't seen you in years! My you've aged. Ha ha. Please my friends, won't all of you come and sit down with me, it's time for supper and I have some stew cooking on the stove." said Cornelius

The tired party was glad to hear the mention of rest and a hot meal, since Balbanes and Geldja had only eaten salted meat since they had been traveling. Balbanes tied his horse to a fence post outside of Cornelius' house and went inside to sit down. They ate their supper and talked for a very long time about all that had happened in Telmar since Cornelius and Aranar had left.


"So I guess you came out here to get me to analyze this liquid you found in King Caspian's chamber? Very well. I do not have the same equipment that I had when I lived in Telmar, but I have managed to keep up a greenhouse full of plants that I can use to determine the nature of this substance. It will probably take me nearly all night to actually determine what this substance is, so why don't the three of you rest for the night in my spare bedroom." said Cornelius

The three of them were happy to accept his offer and retired to Cornelius spare bedroom. Geldja took the bed, while Balbanes slept in a small desk chair. Aranar, who had lived in the wild for so long, said that he would be happier sleeping outside under the stars.

After some time had passed during the night, Balbanes, who had found himself unable to sleep in the small chair, got up and walked outside for some fresh air.

"So I guess you can't sleep either" said Aranar as soon as Balbanes walked outside

"No, I cannot." said Balbanes in a heavy voice "So how long has it been for you since Ebon rock?"

"I would guess about twenty years." said Aranar with a sigh "I will never be able to forgive myself for what happened in that battle. We were fighting farmers who were only trying to protect their home. These creatures were not barbaric monsters like Espino had told us, they were simple folk who just happened to live on a fertile tract of land that Espino wanted to claim. These creatures, or rather Dwarves as I found out they were known, were innocent, and I fought and killed them without even thinking otherwise." Aranar broke down and began crying at this point

"I know how heavy your heart must be for this. I too have stained my hands with innocent blood." Balbanes said with a sad tone to his voice "Shortly before you left for Ebon rock, I was sent on mission to defeat a group of what I was told were fearsome beasts that had been terrorizing some of the smaller, more outlying provinces of the kingdom. I rode out to find their camp and found only two guards at the gate. I ambushed one and turned and slew the other, thinking that they had been the ones attacking our settlements. I charged into the camp and saw several people working on fixing houses and repairing parts of the camp. I did not know what these people could be doing with such monsters, so I automatically assumed that they must have been taken prisoner and forced to work. I ran up to another guard who was standing near a group of the people and slew him without thinking. All of a sudden, the people next the dead guard began screaming in terror

"What have you done?!?!" one cried loudly

"I have come to free you from these beasts" I replied

"What do you mean free us? These Minotaur were attacked by soldiers from Telmar such as yourself, and you come here claiming to free us? We are trying to help them rebuild as best as they can since the last raid."

"I was speechless. I had just killed these innocent creatures simply because I thought that they were evil. They were simply trying to survive as best as they could and I killed them without even thinking. There was nothing I could say or do at this point that would have alleviated the situation so I just rode off as fast as I could. When I returned to Telmar, I sought out Espino (for it was he who had given me the order to go) and attempted to explain what had happened to him. He told me that the people were traitors to the Telmarine kingdom and should have been eliminated along with the rest of the minotaurs. I said nothing more to him, but simply walked off. If only I had the courage, I would have stood up to him, but unfortunately I did not and he was allowed to continue his campaign of terror." Balbanes said, his voice drifting off into silence

"My dear friends" said a small, light voice "I am deeply sorry to hear of the burdens that the two of you must carry."

Both Balbanes and Aranar turned to look and saw Geldja standing in the doorway

"I am sorry for having eavesdropped on your conversation, but I could hear you talking and went to see what was the matter. Nothing I can say or do, will help relieve you of this burden that you carry, but I can offer some hope to the both of you. There is One out there who is capable of absolving your sins and relieving you of the burdens that you carry with you. He is the Great Lion, Aslan. When He allowed Himself to be killed on the stone table more than a thousand years ago, He took with Him all of the sins and treacheries that men have committed and will ever commit. If you seek Him out with all of your heart, then you will find Him and He can absolve your sins and relieve your guilt" Geldja said humbly

"She is right." said Balbanes "If we truly wish to be rid of the burden of our sins, then we must seek out this Aslan"

"I agree with you my friend." replied Aranar "We must find Him, for He alone can help us."

"So where can we find this Aslan that you have spoken of?" asked Balbanes

"Oh, you will not find Him, it is He who will find you. For you see, He is not a tame lion, who simply waits for people to come to Him, if you are truly seeking Him with all of your hearts, then He will find you." Geldja replied

"Well then, with all of my heart and being I wish to find Aslan" declared Balbanes

"As do I! May Aslan guide our paths so that we may find Him!" delcared Aranar

Suddenly they heard a light chuckle come from behind them. Cornelius had returned from his greenhouse.

"It seems that there is a great change in store for this world" chuckled Cornelius "Now even Telmarines believe in Aslan. Miraz will be in for quite a shock if word ever gets out about this. It would be best to keep things quiet around him for the time being, since you still have much to accomplish in that castle."

"Have you found out about the liquid?" asked Balbanes

"Yes, yes. I was just getting to that. It seems that this is particularly nasty poison known as Troll Rot, so named because it is considered to be the only poison that can kill a troll. The plant that is used to make this only grew in a small mountainous region to the north several years ago. It was discovered by accident during the war with the trolls when one of them picked it up and ate it. Within minutes the troll fell over and died. However, shortly after their defeat, all of the trolls went and burned all of the plants that were left. Only someone who was actually there before the war was over would have been able to gather some of this plant." said Cornelius

"Miraz was there." said Balbanes in a cold voice "He was the one who first developed the poison to use against the trolls."

"If Miraz is as sinister as this, I feel it would be imperative to return to the castle so that you can protect anyone who might fall under Miraz's wrath such as the Prince or the Queen." said Cornelius in a stern voice
 
good, it is very logical that the prince of narnia woud lead the army against an invading "monster", however it is illogical that there would be "monsters" to fight. it takes several years, not months, to kill stories of anything. look at china, christianity may be banned but people are becoming christians anyways. there are more christians there than there was before christianity was banned. it just goes to show that there would have been no trolls or giants running freely in telmar at that time. it also takes time for half-dwarves, like cornelius to get old.
 
Kept in shape by wolves? Hmm, does Aranar by any chance have a brother or cousin called Mowgli?

As for Geldja, she bears quite a testimony for Aslan!
 
Narnia Guardian - Secrecy was a big part of the Telmarine regime in my story. Let's just say that they found some very effect ways of ensuring that their secrets were not leaked. Oh and to avoid any confusion on the timeline of this story, I'll work in a better explanation of the events in my next chapter.

CopperFox - lol! I had forgotten about Mowgli when I created Aranar's character. At least he wasn't raised by wolves, he just chooses to live with them. :)
 
Last edited:
Welcome back to the story everyone! Sorry it took me over a week to write this new chapter, but homework has kept me rather busy for the past few days. Without further delay, I shall now bring you the next exciting chapter of Balbanes' epic story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 8: Noon -
When the Light from the Sun is at it's Greatest
​

Balbanes said goodbye to Geldja, who would be taking Dr. Cornelius' place at the school, and mounted his horse. Cornelius rode up on a small pony of his and greeted him.

"It's best that we leave now. We must reach Telmar as quickly as possible to ensure the safety of the Queen and Prince Caspian." Balbanes said.

Both Aranar and Cornelius nodded in agreement. Aranar agreed to escort Cornelius back so that Balbanes would be free to ride on ahead and return to Telmar more quickly.

Balbanes waved goodbye to his friends and took off at a furious pace. He hoped to make it back to Telmar within a day's time, but was unsure if he could make it so soon. He rode as fast as his poor horse could go and seemed to be making excellent time. As he continued to ride, he noticed that the forest did not look familiar, as it had the first time he had ridden through. In fact, he could not even find the small river that he had stopped at the day before. He slowed his horse to a light trot and looked around to gather his bearings. The trees began to move in an odd fashion, almost as if they were making a path for him to follow. Balbanes was unsure about what he thought he was seeing, but was somehow compelled to follow the path through the trees. He followed along the path for a bit, but was becoming rather nervous about the direction he was heading. He didn't remember seeing any of the landmarks around him the first time he had gone this way,and was afraid that he had gotten lost. Finally after some time had passed, he dismounted his horse and began to walk around to see if he could possibly find some indication of where he was. He examined the trees and the rocks and even some of the bushes and other plants, but nothing seemed familiar to him. He was questioning himself for having gotten so very lost at this point when he heard the breaking of leaves and twigs behind him. He drew his sword and turned around just in time to see a massive lion pounce straight at him. He swung his sword at the lion, but instead of wounding the great beast as he had intended, the blade actually shattered on the lion's side. He then felt a sharp pain running through his sword hand and looked down to see a set of massive claw marks that had cut straight through his armor and deep into his hand and wrist. The pain was excruciating and he could barely think clearly. His first instinct was to run and try and get away from the lion, he turned to run and ran straight into the lion. He was knocked off of feet and was left sitting on the ground with the massive lion towering over him.

"I guess this is it" said Balbanes "I only wish I could have made it back to Telmar to help Caspian again."

"and so you shall" said the lion, whose voice seemed to echo throughout the entire forest

Balbanes was left silent. He could not even come up with the words to reply to the lion. He only stared ahead, quivering partly with fear, but partly with excitement. For when the lion had spoken to him, he had realized that this lion was in fact, the Great Lion Aslan himself.

Finally he gathered up the courage to speak to the majestic lion,

"Are... are you really Aslan...?" he said his voice trembling.

"I Am." replied the Lion. "You have genuinely sought Me with your heart, and therefore I have led you to Me so that we may speak. You seek to repent for your actions against the Minotaur people, and for other actions that you have done. I am here to offer you complete absolution of your sins. You will no longer carry the burden and the weight of your actions. From this point, there are two paths you may take. If you choose to follow Me, your journey will become difficult. There are many in the Telmarine kingdom who, in their minds, would be much better off if I did not exist. If you choose to follow Me, and deliver My message, then you must be prepared for a long and painful journey. If you choose to leave here and not follow Me, you will have a good and easy life working for Miraz and the others in the kingdom. You will never want for money, power, or fame as all of these will be provided for you. At this point you must choose whether or not you wish to follow Me."

Balbanes did not even hesitate with his answer "No matter what perils I would face by following You, I would gladly face them a thousand times over before I would choose to follow Miraz and the aristocracy of Telmar."

"So it has been decided" Aslan replied "From here on, your journey will become increasingly difficult, but I can promise you a greater reward at the end of your journey than you could have ever imagined."

Balbanes was overcome with emotion, and knelt down on his hands and knees in front of the Lion.

"Lord Aslan, I thank you for giving me the chance to follow you. I know my journey will be difficult, but for so long as I choose to follow you, nothing in this world be able to deter my chosen path."

"Balbanes, rise to one knee" said the Lion

Balbanes did as he was told, and Aslan placed his paw upon Balbanes' shoulder.

"From this day forward, I charge you with the command of a very special group. You will resume the command of an order of knights that was left vacant over a thousand years ago, when I had King Peter return to his own world. The Order of the Lion is a group of knights whose duty it is to protect Narnia from all that would threaten its existence. You are also to be dedicated in your duties, and perform all of your actions in My name. Do you think that you will be able to accept this duty I have charged you with?" asked Aslan

"My Lord Aslan, I am human and full of faults and weaknesses, but if You were to give me such a wonderful duty, then I would certainly try with all of my strength and abilities to honor you and perform my duties with great diligence and steadfastness." said Balbanes humbly

"It is not strength or ability that you lack, nor is it courage or dedication. You lack faith in your abilities to do what is right. I tell you this: from this day forward, you are to but your faith in My abilities and receive your strength from Me. By doing so, you will truly have the strength and courage to help lead Narnia back to its former glory." said Aslan very emphatically

"I also have another task for you to complete. The Prince, Caspian, is in need of someone to teach him about Me and about all of Old Narnia. He must understand that it will be his duty to reclaim the throne of Narnia from Miraz, and become the King of Narnia. He will also need someone to teach him the skills necessary to lead an army. Both you and Cornelius are to carry out this task. Cornelius is a very learned man, and will be able to teach Caspian much about Old Narnia. You must teach him to swing a sword and ride a horse and perform all manner of things that a King must to to protect his country." said Aslan

"I will do so my Lord Aslan, but unfortunately, I cannot grip a sword for You have cut my sword hand." said Balbanes

"Nor will you ever carry a sword again. Your sword hand was dedicated to the service of Espino and was used to carry out his wicked deeds. I have prevented you from ever using a sword again, so that any actions you perform will not be for Espino or Telmar, but will be for Me. Anytime you ever pick up a sword from this day forth, the scars on your hand will begin to hurt again as a reminder of why you will no longer be allowed to carry a sword." said Aslan

"Now, that you are a Knight, you will need a proper steed." Aslan motioned to Balbanes' horse who had been hiding behind some trees "Horse, I grant you the ability to speak, and to become a true Narnian horse. You will now be known as Quicktrot." said Aslan to the horse.

"Why, I can speak now! I can speak! Oh thank you Lord Aslan, thank you so very much!" said Quicktrot in a very excited voice

"Now for you Lord Balbanes, it is time your returned to Telmar. Your friends will be awaiting your return when you get back." said Aslan

"Thank you, Lord Aslan. I promise you I will do all that I can to honor my commitment to you!" Balbanes bowed deeply before Aslan and mounted Quicktrot and rode back to Telmar as quick as he could.
 
Last edited:
Overall, excellent. So is Balbanes required henceforth to be completely powerless to defend himself??

>> There are many in the Telmarine kingdom who would be much better
>> off if I did not exist.

That is, they _think_ they'd be better off. Aslan being Almighty God, nothing else _could_ exist if He didn't.

===================================


Non sequitir: Next time you go to the RP thread, read _carefully_ what has been recently posted.
 
Wow! Reallllllllly amazing! The plot thickens...=). If it wasn't already so. Can't wait to read more - one of the best on here I have read :D.
 
Hey, great updates. I had to catch up a little again. I'm kinda sad he can't use his sword. Can he use a bow and arrow??? Dagger?? Butter knife???

Keep up the writing and post as soon as you can.
 
Chapter 9
A New Day Begins for Narnia​

Balbanes returned to Telmar and was greeted just outside the entrance to the castle by Aranar and Corneilus. Both expressed concern for his having taken so long to reach Telmar, as well as concern for his bandaged hand.

"What happened to you. Balbanes? Your sword is gone, the armor on your sword hand is shredded, and you have deep cuts on your hand as well. What kind of monster did you encounter on your way back?" asked Cornelius

"What I encountered was so terrible, that He could devour whole empires at will." said Balbanes in a very frank voice

Cornelius' jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide. Aranar looked confused until he saw Cornelius' expression, and then he understood.

"You... you encountered ASLAN HIMSELF??" Cornelius barely managed to speak the words

"I did. He clawed my sword arm because it had been used for evil purposes in the service of Lord Espino. Now I will never be able to wield a sword again, lest the pain in my arm will return. He gave me very specific instructions for what to do. Cornelius, you and I are to train Prince Caspian and teach him all about the Old Narnia. Aslan stated that he is to become the next king of Narnia, and that it is our job to prepare him for his role as king. You are to teach him and instruct him in the ways of Old Narnia and of Aslan. He must be mentally ready to assume his position as the next king of Narnia. I on the other hand, must train him militarily. Riding, combat skills, and military strategy will be mine to teach. A king must be wise and prudent in judgment, but he must also be prepared to defend his kingdom from any who would threaten it." said Balbanes very forcefully

"If Aslan commands it then it is up to us to perform these tasks with all of our hearts, minds, and bodies. It will be dangerous from here on out for all of us, since we will be living amongst the enemy who will not hesitate to destroy us if we are found out." said Cornelius with a very serious tone

"Aranar, since we must do our work inside the castle, it must be for you to do your work outside. Spread the word to the talking animals about Aslan and Caspian. We will need their help if we are to ever restore Caspian to the throne. Miraz will not give up his power without a struggle, and we must be prepared to have the might of the entire Telmarine army brought down upon us." Balbanes said

"I will do as you ask of me. Perhaps on my journey I will be able to meet up with Aslan myself. My the Lion watch over your both always, my friends." said Aranar, who quickly hurried off into the woods.

"Let us go and report to Miraz. We have appearances to keep up if we are to get close to Caspian." said Cornelius

Balbanes agreed and the two of them proceeded to the central throne room, which Miraz had closed to all but his most trusted of compatriots. Balbanes requested to speak with him and the guard at the door went inside to ask if Miraz would see him. The guard returned and opened the door for Balbanes and Cornelius and gestured for them to enter. They walked in and stood in front of Miraz, who was anxiously pacing the floor of the throne room.

"Where have you been? I thought you said that this journey of yours would only take a couple of days. This has taken nearly an entire week! This is unacceptable. I should have you discharged from the military for this insubordination, but seeing as you are still a seated Lord in this kingdom, I cannot do such a thing unless I am the actual king, and not just the Lord Protectorate. Furthermore, you return to me with this little old man and you expect me to allow him to tutor Caspian? And you yourself have returned with one hand slashed by a creature to the point that you can no longer hold a sword. I thought you were supposed to be the one to teach Caspian his military skills, but how can you with one good hand?" Miraz was fuming by this point

"Lord Miraz" Balbanes said in a calm voice "We apologise for trying your patience by returning so late. However, what you asked for was done. The woman who was teaching Caspian will no longer trouble you. I also retrieved a proper tutor for Caspian, one who has been to the School for the Scholars. While I can no longer grip a sword, I can still teach Caspian how to do so. Furthermore, my hand was damaged and not my head. Caspian will need to learn how to properly command troops and use battle formations and whatnot. I can still teach him this as easily as he learned to write."

Miraz had calmed down by this point and stood there rubbing his chin. "Very well. You have earned a reprieve from your punishment for now. I will allow you to continue training Caspian as we had discussed before."

and with that, Miraz waved his hand for Balbanes and Cornelius to leave him.

"So, I guess I should go meet the young Prince now?" asked Cornelius

"Yes. His room is in the main corridor on the left." said Balbanes "I need some time alone for a while. Speak with Caspian and when you are done, please come and find me."

Cornelius walked off to introduce himself to Caspian, while Balbanes returned to his room and sat down at his desk. He began to think to himself:

"Why was I chosen? What did Aslan see in me that made Him want to have me placed in charge of training our future king? I am weak-willed and flawed, but somehow He saw something in me that made Him want to use me for this task." thought Balbanes

"You were chosen because of your ability to come to terms with your flaws and your desire to move beyond them. You were also chosen because you are in fact NOT weak-willed, but have the will greater than that of a thousand men. If one is able to realize their flaws and shortcomings, I will always be there to assist them and help them move beyond their flaws."

Balbanes looked around, and although the voice belonged to Aslan, he could not see the Great Lion anywhere. Then suddenly, he noticed that the solid gold lion stature that was previously on his desk had moved and was in fact walked towards him.

The Lion statue looked directly at him, which gave Balbanes a great pause. He did not know why the Great Lion had come to visit him in his chambers. Had he done something wrong? Had he missed some of the instructions that Aslan had given him previously? A thousand questions raced through Balbanes' mind at once, but he could not think of which one to ask.

"Calm yourself, Balbanes. Your self-doubts are troubling Me. Did I not tell you not to be concerned about yourself, but instead to rely on My strength? I chose you because you are indeed brave and loyal, and you have a good heart. Your desire to overcome your past sins and come to Me led you to our meeting in the forest. Since you sought to overcome your past, I severed the one thing that tied you to your past actions that were weighing you down. Now that you are free from having to use a blade to defend yourself, I have allowed to to pursue other means of doing so." said Aslan

"But what do you mean by that? If I cannot use a blade, how am I to fight?" said Balbanes who was confused by this point

"In the past, under Espino, your job was to cut out all that could have brought opposition to him. Now, your job is to join together the Old Narnia with that which is new. Your new weapon will be a reflection of your new purpose. Just as a carpenter must change tools for the different jobs he performs, so must you."

Balbanes paused for a minute to think. "A carpenter cuts the wood with a saw, which like a sword has an edge, but when he joins the wood together he uses a hammer, which is blunt. So I am able to use blunt weapons that do not have an edge?"

"That is right. Now it is up to you to find a tool that you prefer to use. Remember Balbanes, a weapon is only as strong as the one who wields it. A poorly made weapon will still be effective in skilled hands, while even the most finely crafted weapon will fail in the hands of a fool. Be strong and keep heart. I am always with you even if you cannot see Me." said Aslan

The statue became still again, and Balbanes replaced it on his desk. He decided that he would have to go to the blacksmith and see if he would be able to craft him a blunt weapon for his use.

He went out and spoke with the blacksmith, but the smith had said that he had not crafted a blunt weapon for quite some time, and would need time to make a new one. He suggested that the armory could possibly have some older weapons that had not been used. Balbanes thanked the blacksmith for his help and proceeded over to the armory. Two armed guards stood outside of the armory door and eyed Balbanes suspiciously

"Halt! Who are you to be walking up to the armory at this late hour?" the first guard asked

"I am Balbanes, one of the Council of Lords and a loyal supporter of Miraz. My sword was broken during a recent journey, and I need a replacement weapon." Balbanes replied to the guard

"The council? Well that's different. Please proceed Lord Balbanes." said the guard

Balbanes walked into the armory, and looked over the rows of mail and plate armor, the racks full of swords and axes, and walls full of bows and crossbows. Finally, towards the back of the armory, there was a series of small shelves that contained the hammers and maces. Balbanes picked up a mace and a hammer, and left the armory to go back to his chambers. That night he practiced with both weapons, but neither really felt "right" to him. The mace was light enough to swing with ease, but it didn't feel as though it could really damage any target that we would hit. The hammer felt heavy and was slow to swing, but it felt as though anything he hit would be crushed. Balbanes was unsure that he liked either weapon, and decided to go and speak with Cornelius for advice, and also to go see Caspian and speak with him about his arms training.
 
Last edited:
Knight of Narnia said:
(OOC: the author is getting tired, so he will finish the chapter tomorrow night)
Click to expand...

lol You must have been. Three whole spelling errors that I normally wouldn't be able to overlook...but I got distracted by the story.:D Great update! Although if Aranar tells the Old Narnians about Caspian, won't that interfere later on with the original story?
 
Alrighty! I finished the chapter in the same post for the sake on continuity.

Oh and Crazycigirl,

What spelling mistakes did you find? I have trouble proof-reading my own work sometimes and it's always good to get a second pair of eyes to look at it.
 
I found a few more...
Knight of Narnia said:
He must me mentally ready to assume his position as the next king of Narnia.

"A king must we wise and prudent in judgment, but he must also be prepared to defend his kingdom from any who would threaten it." said Balbanes very forcefully

and with that Miraz waved his hand for Balbanes and Cornelius to leave him.

"Cornelius walked off to introduce himself to Caspian, while Balbanes returned to his room and sat down at his desk. He began to think to himself

"Why was I chosen? What did Aslan see in me that made Him want to have me placed in charge of training our future king? I am weak-willed and flawed, but somehow He saw something in me that made Him want to use me for this task." thought Balbanes
Click to expand...

The first one is just capitalization and the last two didn't have punctuation at the end. Now I need to go read the rest of the chapter.:)
 
Simply beautiful. Beautiful writing, wonderful wording. I MUST read more soon! Balbanes, btw, is a very in-character name. I read somewhere you based it on the 'Spanish influenced' Telmarines in the movie? Is it pronounced 'Ball-banes' or 'Ball-ban-ez'?

I noticed the errors, barely, but they didn't bother me as much as they normally would LOL. The writing was so captivating!

Write more soon please!!!
 
Back
Top